HP V: Easy Ghoul

happy halloween everybody

Saturday saw the return of AmCham incompetence and foreigner apathy, aided, I hope, mostly by AmCham's incompetence. It was billed as Halloweenies for the Kidz, or something like that. The idea was that "Hey! Let's get some food, booze, bands and that cozy park across from PJ's and make scads of money for, you know, the Kidz." It had to rock, being PJ's idea and all. From the kickoff at noon, with everyone checking their watches to make sure they all weren't 2 hours fast to the rockin' climax a few hours later with everyone checking their watches to see how much longer till 89K opened up, it was a hoot.

According to raffle tickets sold, about 110 people attended thoughout the 6 1/2 hours. Of course, there's no telling if people bought multiple tickets and of those that were sold, many were bought by people working the event. Hamburger patties went uncooked! YES, IT'S TRUE! Boxes of chicken legs were cooking themselves in the sunlight. South African sausage was being eaten by, well, of course, South Africans. BEER WENT UNDRANK! Read that again. No, yell it. BEER WENT UNDRANK. A mere $1,000 NT gave a person the right to pack your colon for a good two months on undigested flesh and all the beer you could drink. I estimate about 25 squads of draftees ( the elite Coronaistas and the more plebeian Harbinites ) went unused. They are currently quartered at Big Gay Lance's, waiting future deployment.

How did this happen? Well, PJ flew to the Philippines to consult a psychic surgeon about "the smell of rotting flesh" in his nose that has perturbed him since '86. Yes, really. Well, maybe not the psychic surgeon part, but he would find someone who would willingly perform a walletectomy. So PJ was not around to help round up the troops. But, he was. He condensed his 11 day sojourn into a single day and returned Saturday morning. For AmCham's part, all that needs to be said is that I've only seen two people from AmCham at any event, Jack McDowell, and Wayne Chen. And they are always there. Unfortunately, flyers were only distributed and put up two days before the event. Jack and Wayne cannot do it all by themselves. This is where the rest of AmCham stepped up, looked around and took a powder. Some are at odds with Jack and therefore thought it best to place personal differences above the benefit. AmCham Taichung is nonprofit. Basically they are a service organization of two. Two others, Jerry and Chris, who are not members ( Chris might be, but is not listed in the directory) , were asked to help. They did. So, that's it in a Ron Jeremy nutshell. One bright spot was the music. As usual they give their time - though I wish The Deported had not. One who should have been given all the time he wanted is Shane somebody from Tainan. He's from Saskatoon, plays mostly his own guitar and harmonica country. Hoping to get him to make the move here. See him if you get the chance.

Tigga

I have updated Brain Death's website to be correct. Definitely worth a read if you haven't been there yet. Click on the link to the right. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't touched by the post entitled Brett.

The bells and whistles chair

The bells and whistles chair
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

The chair that swings. Plays music with lights. Awesome extra pair of hands when Daddy is baby sitting. Provides the extra 5 minutes Daddy needs to get to the bathroom. Today was one of those fall asleep in peace only while Daddy is holding you days. After Three failed attempts at putting the kid in bed. I went with the stay awake plan and the magic chair. Hats off to the generous genius Aaron for passing it this way.

HP IV: Lutger the German

Lutger loves beer. So does John. So do a lot of people. The following discussion took place some years ago at the New York Pub in the heart of Changhua city. It began with what was a seemingly harmless hypothetical question from John...

J: So, Lutger, if you were going to get a tattoo, what would you get?
L: I would not get a tattoo.
J: Yeah, but if you were to get one...
L: But I would never do that.
J: Supposing you decided one day that you wanted a tattoo, what would it be?
L: That would never happen.
J: What if you were drinking with some friends and ended up in a tattoo parlor with all kinds of images on the walls, what would you get? An eagle, a motorbike...
L: I would get nothing.
J: Come on, for fun. I understand you don't want one, but what would you get if you got one?
L: I cannot say.
J: Why not?
L: It would never happen.
J: But if it happened, what would you get?
L: I get nothing. It would not happen.
J: (getting exasperated) OK, let's say that eight large men force you into a chair and say you are getting a tattoo whether you like it or not and you must choose one of the tattoos on the wall.
L: Why would they do that?
J: I don't know, just because.
L: There must be some reason. It makes no sense.
J: You're tied down to the chair and you can't leave until you get a tattoo. You gotta choose one.
L: I do not choose.
J: But you might as well choose something cool. Something you can live with.
L: I choose nothing.
J: But you must!
L: Why must I? I do not choose. You choose for me.
J: But they or I might choose something really stupid. You should at least choose something you may remotely want.
L: No. How can I choose a tattoo when I don't want one?
J: You're not making sense!
L: I do not choose. Bah! We drink! I am Lutger!
J: (flummoxed as all hell)

If I recall correctly, JW agreed to drink but never again asked a German engineer a hypothetical question. I could be wrong of course as my wire tap at PJ's has recently fizzled.
Some say this is what made JW pack up and move to Taichung.

HP III

left to right,

Chico to Changhua boys Tom & Will with

Tennessee Jeff

711 two

711 two
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

John needs to work at this school. They have two 711's on the campus. A high school that potentially lets you pay your bills and sells adult beverages. Students hopped up on coke and Big Gulps. Didn't anyone watch supersize me?
Two 711's. I wonder if students are allowed to put went to the school of 711 on the ole resume.

T-Shirt Hell

T-shirts naughty, humorous and not generally nice.
Howdy, P.I.M.P.!

VINDICATION!

Which perfectly explains her refusal of my offer several years ago of dinner and a par-tay. It wasn't the location - the Lubbock International Airport baggage return. It wasn't my condition - 14 hours full of free China Airlines adult beverages. IT WAS HER! I was pitching to the wrong team!

Comets' Sheryl Swoopes opens up about being gay. The pressure to perform at a high level on a basketball court is minimal for three-time WNBA Most Valuable Player Sheryl Swoopes compared to determining that the time was right to publicly announce today she is gay.

"I'm just ready, just to be free, not to have to hide who I am; not to have to hide my feelings for her anymore."

H.P. II

finsished no problem

finsished no problem
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Another year and another paper dragon. teachers were delighted to discover the drama students couldn't answer a few simple questions. Or rather the students said they were finished and everything works No problem. One question, when you were making a huge paper village and 4M by 4M backdrop ??? What did you think would make it stand up? Eleventh hour bullshit comes to the rescue.
Forget that presentation is important. Forget that time is short. Bubble gum wrappers and wide plastic tape on heavy *really heavy* stands will be so portable and easily win the day.

Halloweens Past Pic

Who would dress as a bottle of Taiwan Beer for Halloween?

lake horns

lake horns
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

After lunch they take the left overs for a walk.
Then they watch sun set.

Johnny Cash Question

If he shot a man in Reno (just to watch him die) then what is he doing in Folsom Prison?

My understanding is Reno is in NEVADA and Folsom Prison is a CALIFORNIA state prison.

Lyrics here.

I'm sure someone here can help explain this to me.

Warning: Politics Below

Two suggestions for Taiwan:

1. Announce a policy for an immediate declaration of indepedence upon any warlike act from China. (Since game theory is hot now, I'd liken this to a game of Chicken where Taiwan showily handcuffs herself to the steering wheel.)

2. Have a referendum upon the question, "Any unification plan must pass a referendum of Taiwan's voters with X% approval rate with Y% of total registered voters voting."

The beauty of this is Taiwan can claim to be setting up for a unification scenario (not independence), but at the same time constraining China if it passes that any unification plan has to be damn acceptable to the people of Taiwan and not some bargain made with James Soong in a smoke-filled Shanghai KTV.

The DPP should have done this last time and damn their "base" who would freak out. It totally wrong foots the KMT - could they oppose a law setting up a system to approve unification? (I guess if the bar was set too high on percentages.) Could the USA be upset? China could whine, but they do anyways.

For all you TI'ers out there, remember that East Timor's referendum was worded as such:

"Do you accept the proposed special autonomy for East Timor within the Unitary State of the Republic of Indonesia?" or "Do you reject the proposed special autonomy for East Timor, leading to East Timor's separation from Indonesia?"

Notice the YES was for unification (well, continuing being part of Indonesia) so it would be a pretty useful tool for Taiwan to have this law on the books as being mandatory. Even if Taiwan were to lose a war with China, the international community might just be able to pressure China at some later point to honor the law .

Christmas Gift Ideas

I know a certain someone on NiHowdy would really love one of these for a Christmas gift.

(h/t Garfield Ridge)

Also, Karl, while I did h/t Red State Rant, PekingDuck actually LINKED them.

Leon

Comics by Leon

Great live music on Saturday if you can make it.

Lost Truck

I don't know how the ROCKET GIRL boys are getting to their gigs these days but their tour bus has been stalled out on a bridge near zhong ming and xi tun for at least 4 weeks now, probably longer. The wrong way and on a red line to boot. We've been towed on yellows...
This would be really kick ass parking if you lived under the bridge. Maybe they're really trolls waiting to pounce on Halloween and ride it off into November. Very impressive bit of longevity parking. Not a ticket to be seen.
Prizes to anyone who can tell me what the acronym G.O.S.F. written on the door stands for.

I only post this to counter P.I.M.P.

Here's a quick game to play. Canadians may have an edge.

p.s. Great photos Kevlar.

Who wants to go vacation?

fish better
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Peter piper planted peppers

peppers
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

After forgetting a hundred times. Project pepper is now started.
hopefully this will have some success.

Brother and moose

Brother and moose
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Somewhere it is late fall and the hunt is on. These fellas will be eating steak, no fear of the mad cow disease. Avarian flu, sars, pollution. Wish my brother would wipe the shit eating grin off his face. Perhaps he is choking on all the fresh air.

52-17?

I will happily enjoy 11.67 beers on John's tab the next time I am in town.

Thanks J-Hole

for that gracious introduction. Yes, another canadianer to further pollute the minds of the legions of readers.

From the pages of Maxim: when pro athletes join new teams, they often request a number worn by someone else. of course, there is a price to pay. What follows is a list of such transactions.


buyer-Roger Clemens.. seller- Carlos Delgado..cost- $15 000 Rolex
buyer-Clinton Portis.. seller-Ifeanyi Ohalete.. cost-$38 000 cash
buyer-Eli Manning.. seller- Jeff Feagles.. cost- 1 week vacation
buyer-Brian Jordan.. seller- Fredi Gonzalez.. cost- $40 000 motorcycle
buyer-Tom Glavine.. seller- Joe McEwing.. cost- new baby nursery
buyer-Mitch Williams..seller- John Kruk..cost- 2 cases of beer

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick

Proud to be an American?

This link is part of the brighter side of living North of the American boarder. To my American friends, I still love you, but you have to realize....... making fun of Americans is what we do in Canada. It's probably listed as one of our National pastimes. The link is a little slow, give it some time.

If I had 100 dollars la.

If I had 100 dollars la.
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

7-11 is special. How about that hair?

Git yer guns up!

Bread, what's with the old comment? I confidently accept your bet - a beer for every three points - and look forward to collecting in the summer. If by some fluke I lose it will not matter. You will be too wasted after your second beer to remember to collect on any remaining (not happening) beers. I will be attempting to watch it online via ESPN GamePlan. It's about $20 a week and there are 10-15 games per week. This week they have 7 Top 25 teams playing. Be careful, though. Games broadcast by ABC are unavailable in the archives. ESPN says they are trying to fix it, but I doubt anything will be done soon. Tech 42 - ut 31, J-Hole - not even buzzed.

Poll results -- In results surprising to no one, D.U.G. and All of the above tied in the polling with each receiving 13 votes. I'll give him one week and then delete his Canadianer booty from the blog. As you will notice, we have added yet another contributor, ( Give-him-enough-rope ) D-Wayne. One more, and we can have a baseball team. Look for our Recent Visitors from Porn Sites numbers to soar.

Calling an old friend out

John? Is there doubt? Email or post your response BEFORE gametime on Saturday. My pick is the Horns a brazilian and the pink raiders ZERO.

Unfortunately I will not be able to watch the game, as I will be in the great state of canadia on a camping trip. We have been having a bit of an Indian Summer here recently, and I want to get out one last time before winter's fury arrives in earnest.

Four More Baby!!!

Alive and well, thank you for asking J-Hole.

By the way J-Hole, what's the bet this weekend? I say a beer for every three points difference ( I am feeling cocky after tonight's destruction).

NiHowdy's Personal Finance Tips

If you want a surefire investment that is also practical way to get around town, the new Chinese made JiangLing "Landwind" SUV is an excellent choice.

Not only is it about 30% cheaper than luxury SUVs like Kia's Sportage or Hyundai's Tucson, it also offers an excellent investment oppportunity, as you are highly likely to collect on any life insurance policies you have since the vehicle scored an amazing ZERO on safety tests in Europe.

Check out the crash test videos here and here:

They may be a slow download, but are really worth it.

(H/T RedStateRant via Ace of Spades HQ)

Unbelievable

One More Baby!!!!

Chinese Culture Admits Defeat

Finally, they aknowledge that forks are the FUTURE OF MANKIND.

Talk about a Chinese take-away. Astronauts Fei Junlong and Nie Haisjeng blasted into outer space with a full larder of Chinese specialities including cuttlefish and meat balls, and beef with orange peel.

But the pair of orbiting diners will have to do without chopsticks, which were considered too difficult to manoeuvre in the weightlessness of space. They'll use forks and spoons instead according to the state Xinhua news agency.

Next time you get hacked at for not being able to use chopsticks, just remember....in Space there will be no Cho Do Fu.

Note: I actually handle 'sticks better than the wife...she wants me to teach lil' Fiona how to use them...but since Fiona will be the first SuperModelNeurosurgeon, she's cool since they don't need that skillset in space yet.

Polling Question

When does the poll on the right close? I notice that D.U.G and all of the above are in a dead heat. Maybe we should have a runoff...But you had better put all of the above first (which would then mean nobody), because if all of the above is second then a vote for all of the above would really be a vote for D.U.G.

****Breaking News****

AU DECIDES SUDAN IS TOO FUCKED UP EVEN FOR THEM

Looks like the situation will be referred to the UN security council. That will surely fix the situation.

What frustrates me most of this situation is how willing we were to go into Iraq and how willing we are to passively watch Darfur implode. As a nation and as a world we admitted our mistakes in failing to intervene in Rwanda (except the French, who did intervene, on the side of the Hutus). Clinton said it was one of the biggest mistakes of his presidency (fortunately this administration doesn't make mistakes). And now, a mere ten years later, we continue to prop up a nasty regime in Khartoum by giving money, money which is supposedly linked to peace in Darfur, but has already been given depsite the ongoing massacre. There are a host of reasons for our willingness as a world to watch this, but for the interested person who has made it this far in the post, the chief reason why we pay lip service to the west of Sudan (in my humble opinion) has to do with our willingness to stay in good graces with a government sitting on load of undeveloped oil fields (in the recently at peace south).

One day, the east of Sudan will realize it is sitting on the chief means of getting that oil out. Once that occurs (and signs are that is already happening) a four way civil war with each of the cardinal directions in play will likely ensue...the oracle of Montana predicts the Ethiopians, the Ugandans and the Chadians will all make a grab (and possibly the CAR if they get their shit together) by trying to align themselves with the southerners. The Americans (Republican or Democrat administration won't matter) will stubbornly side with the Khartoum government, the UN will certainly do the same (because the UN sides with governments in power - see Western Sahara or Taiwan for examples of this) and ten years from now the Sudan will look like the Congo. The added bonus here is Islam and holy wars (think proximity to Yemen, Saudi and Somalia), not to mention the ultimate wild card, Libya.


Yep, now is a good time for a meeting...

Interested in further reading? Here are the daily updates of wars around the globe.

More Sci-Fi

I am Kosh, even though I don't know what he is.

Rye Guy has reminded me that Star Wars I (as if that still counts after the Phantom Menace) had a game and drinking.

But what about Holodeck porn? NO.

Now, a more serious question: while taking the test, I noticed people who were pegged as WESLEY CRUSHER. Dude, I can see if I was WESLEY CRUSHER than I would consider claiming that I'd rather be Boba Fett. So, it's obvious Karl actually got WESLEY CRUSHER and then claimed he got Data before deciding to switch to be Boba Fett. It's the old bait and switch and switch.

By the way, WESLEY CRUSHER has a blog.

Data vs. Bobo Fat

So, if I was some tall thin, nerdy guy who is:

a chess player
a multicultural polyglot
a democrat

who do you think I want to be?

Data or Bobo Fat?

Let's review:

Star Trek:
Advanced Utopian culture based on the UN where peaceful confilict resolution and non-lethal force are often used.

Star Wars:
Republican forces fighting off the evil Empire - note it ain't the Democrats Abroad doing the fighting. Also, explain how we get a Princess involved in a REPUBLICAN government? Obviously Lucas never read any Roman history or took a PoliSci course.

Star Trek:
3-D Chess - Synthohol

Star Wars:
No games - No Booze - No holodeck porn. What a bright future.

Star Trek:
Seven of Nine

Star Wars:
C-3PO (scroll down to entry number two.)

Star Trek:
Humans still use long range weapons unless forced by higher power to battle it out with other aliens on a desolate world...but wait, even then Kirk made a primitive gunpowder weapon to win.

Star Wars:
Let's regress thousands of years and use SWORDS made of LIGHT instead of ranged weapons. I guess it makes more sense then simply allowing the light saber's laser edge to simply leap forward at the speed of light to kill your opponent before any Jedi instinct could even save them.

Finally:

EWOKS.

Update: Maybe Karl doesn't like Star Trek because he can't empathize with the people in that universe?

BROUGHT TO YOU AT THE REQUEST OF P.IM.P.

I need your help.

I am currently supervising 3 students from my school, I-Ning Jr./Sr. School, who are going to attend the World School International Forum. They are Taiwan's only representative. They must have an exhibit that ties a cultural introduction to the country (Taiwan) to the theme of - for God's sake, Communication. Media Literacy in the 21st Century together. This is what I've thought of so far. Also keep in mind that it will be held in Japan, so cell phones and such are pretty much a given.

Here is a definition I found of media: a channel or system of communication, information, or entertainment. I don't know what literacy means.

• Puppet shows - showing and continuing culture, mythology...
• Sound trucks
• Couplets at Chinese New Year - my wife had the observation that they were telling people on the outside what their wishes were.
• Flyers and the little hooker-bait stick ons
• Temples - Again, my wife tells me that temples are regularly used as a source of info.

I wish my students well. They will be in Japan for 12 days, I will not. Please let me know if you have any ideas.

Fantasy Football

This guy really likes fantasy football.

Bread, Stop Brandishing That Thing!

or you'll scare those nice Japanese people.

Men are better shoppers than women

I ganked this link from Fark. Read the whole thing as it is marginally interesting.

One quibble:

Dennis and his co-author Tamira King say the deep-rooted nature of the shopping gender gap means that retailers need to rethink the way they approach men.

Stores may need to introduce male-only shopping areas and "crèches" to occupy men while their female partners shop.

I think the male-only "creche" has already been invented and is called a "sports bar and grill."

Pijiu Is My Poison

I was in Taidong on the weekend. Needless to say it was an excellent trip. We ventured out into the great unknown parts of a little city called ShiShang. Beautiful mountains, great little farming community. As I was about to get back in the car, I noticed KinKong beer in the window of a small supermarket. KinKong "Dark" beer. Hmmm.....beer...... I immediately thought. I went in, not only did they have this selection, but a bottle of Taiwan beer I haven't seen before, and some Ching Dao. After quickly having a look at the rusted caps on top of the bottles, and the expiry date of June, 1997 I decided that although I needed a quick fix, this wasn't the beer for me. Interesting though. All three of these beers are from 1997, if anyone is interested, I'll pick you up a six pack.

NEVER

Quit biting your fingernails or smoking before an 18 inning baseball game. Organize these two things around something less intense, like the Superbowl or a marathon game of Iron Cross...

Just for the Record

Jim, I did say since Dr. J retired... I remember 1980 all too well, for your Phillies coming back on Nolan Ryan in the fall, the Oilers losing to the Steel Curtain the previous January (on Renfro's discounted touchdown), and the Rockets losing to the Celtics the following spring.... Painful times for a child of seven in Houston...

History of the AH-VO-KA-DOH

Did you know that the Aztecs were the first to use the avocado as an aphrodisiac? That avocado is a Conquistador corruption of the Aztec "ahuacatl" meaning testicle? It's also been known over the years as the alligator pear, midshipman's butter or simply a pear depending on where you are. Avocados are yummy! California produces 95% of the world's avocados! It's said that Cortez smeared himself in avocado butter shortly after his garroting of Montezuma and subsequent conquest of Mexico City. It's said he went mad and died trying to hump an unwilling pyramid. Really. Check out the link.

A joke I need to share with all.

Don Rumsfeld is giving George "W" Bush his daily briefing and tells him that three Brazilian soldiers have been killed in Iraq.

George says "that's absolutely terrible", is lost for words, and holds his head in his hands for several minutes. His staff are amazed at the response, and the whole room stays silent.

Finally George lifts his head from the table and says Exactly how many is a brazillion?"

Beans, Queens and Has-beens

Before you go one word farther, go to the bottom of the sidebar and participate in our poll : Survivior Taichung. And although I do agree with RyeGuy in general, in the spirit of fair play, you might want to take a look at a pic of this wordsmith that captures his true flava'.

If you want to piss off a Brit, take away their baked beans. I've never heard so much whining over beans before in my life, which might explain a couple of local Brits' abberant behavior. Dave ,aka Pippin, related to me an idea a couple of co-workers of his came up with. Everybody dress in drag - students, staff, willing parents and school pets! Great fun! Oh! The laughs! Except for the fact that the students are ages 2-7. What 2 year-olds are doing away from home in the care of minimum-wage proxy moms and footloose foreigners in the first place is beyond me. Is this normal? What's Dr. (or Mr.) Spock have to say about this? Blog parents, help me out.

As for the older children, that's downright scary! Lipstick, garters and pumps aren't for everybody. Come on, Divine, Boy George, Liza Minnelli - they're freakishly disturbing. This was supposed to happen today, so I don't know how many of the kids have been scared catatonic yet. Dave, to his credit, refused to participate, though I hope he had enough sense to take a few incriminating photos of the brassiered Brits.

Notes From A Northern HQ Emergency Meeting ( N. H.Q.E.M.)

First off, congrats to the Astros on their first ass whooping of the Braves this morning. The Rocket goes tomorrow against Smoltz. I was listening the Braves' radio feed as my MLB.TV is all messed up ( a long and pointless story ). During Houston's 5 run eighth the home announcer in his Southern drawl said, "...and the bases are loaded again, and boy I wish I was." Har!

Second thing. I'd like to welcome P.I.M.P. to the blog. He's also known as Pimp, card playin', heavy metal bass poundin', jewellery wearin', high school teachin', Ontario hailin' Pimp. We're delighted and we expect readership to sky rocket as evidenced by his first post which generated a plethora of comments. The J-Hole and I just held an emergency briefing at Northern HQ to discuss the aforementioned acronym and the possible meanings it may convey. I gotta say that we can't quite figure it out. We ask that P.I.M.P. enlighten the readers or be saddled with reader ( or contributor) suggestions.

Third thing. We voted and decided that there is no way this blog can handle TWO, count 'em, TWO acronyms. That's just crazy! So, as a result, I propose voting D.U.G. off the blog due to his utter contempt for his imaginary readers and his callous disregard for acronym enlightenment. The best meaning we can come up with is Don't Understand Going-to-the-blog-and-posting-something-anything-ever. Now, maybe this is part of his charm/mystery, I don't know. I'll let my fellow ACTIVE contributors be the judges. Readers should also weigh in as this issue needs to be resolved before this blog is acronymed out.

Fourth thing. I'm currently photoshopping a series of pictures of me in the tub. That's right. And I think you all know what I mean. Stay tuned.

A last thought, The Sandstress is thinking it stands for Peripatetic Icon of Meglomaniacal Pomposity, " No offense, just 'cause it sounds good..."

I'm thinking Peeing In My Pants, for the simpilicity.

Taiwan's entry in Wikipedia

Suprisingly, Wikipedia's entry for Taiwan includes a whole subsection on "Convenience store culture."

No section on Bin Lang Girls yet.

Also, I want to publicly apologize for forgetting to celebrate "Opium Suppression Movement Day" last June 3rd. I promise to suppress some opium next year.

NiHowdy's First Advertisment

D.U.G. R.E.P.R.I.S.E.

Due to great demand, we will be re-posting some of D.U.G.'s greatest hits. Here is his most popular and by all accounts, his most prolific.

Redneck³

English John and Commander Cardy printed out the redneck regalia and lightly stuck them on his scooter. Bo promptly made them permanent. The Dukes of Hazzard t-shirt is Bo's own doing.

*****APB*******

Calling one Jimbo, Calling one Jimbo.

Reflecting on a July conversation when Jim said the Phillies' main competition for the wild card would be the Marlins and the Cubs, I am reminded of what a poor life it must be to a fan from Philadelphia since Dr. J retired. Ditto to you Pimp and your 'that team has a bad vibe' comments.

Go 'Stros!

Ps. Jim, if you contact me in the next week I promise I won't mention the Astros record against the Phillies over the past two years (12-0) in my reply. I don't have your e-mail.

Video of Bali Bombing

Here's the link. It's in Dutch, but just click the link in the upper right that reads:

'Amateurfilm van één van de aanslagen in Bali'

My first blog.....

Hey all. I guess this is my first blog and I'll keep it short. I recently received this email about the fearless American leader down south (depending on how you see it). Have a peak, and when I get the wheels in motion, I'll find something more productive to waste your time with.
http://www.badmash.org/videos/videos_flv.php?v=george_bush_512K_Stream.

Can I change this link to say "Bush" somehow? I'm too lazy to follow the instructions and just too excited to wait!

Breaking Wind

It's just come to my attention that actress Calista Flockhart has legally changed her name to Ally McBeal. Can anyone confirm or deny said rumour?

A reality gap

I thought that a month of hard studying and I would be able to catch up with my classmates. A month of hard studying later I have realized that though my test scores are better than their test scores, they know a hell of a lot more than I do and I am an awful long way away from catching up.

A Cultural Gap

My 36 year old roommate eats organic shit by the tons and pretends to be educated by going to gay art shows downtown (called 'artini' parties). He chastises me for my baked potato and T-bone diet. I think he is secretly envious.

A Generation Gap

There I was, quietly and politely enjoying the second hand smoke of my classmates when one of them mentioned that they wanted to go to Thailand. I asked her to buy me clothes like Yul Brenner if she made it. She responded "Who is Yul Brenner?" Not a single one of them knew who he was. Ouch.