Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Sun flares for halloween


Sunday, October 29, 2006

Hugars! Meet the Hugars!

Tom Hugar, his wife Joyce and Daughter Shannon...

kevlar's take on the texas incest game...

kevlar lets it be known who he's for, 4th quarter, mere hours ago...


Keith Olbermann reconnects the president with reality. Of course the term reconnect necessarily implies that there was a connection there at some point. Maybe before the cocaine?


Well, the Horns spotted the pink ladies a 21 point lead -- and they still couldn't come through. At home nonetheless. Rough football season for J-hole, pink ladies lose to AJ's school, my school, a team that could be pronounced misery, and a team that wears purple. Meanwhile, the 'Boys have managed to lose to half of Taiwan's team and Dwayne's team. On top of all this, you now have a quarterback named Romo on the pro side of the ball. I sure hope the Sunday afternoon games at the middle school are going better than that my friend.

Your lack of response indicates to me that you accepted my terms. The conversion is complete, you now owe me 11.66 vodka crans. I'll wear pink in your honor.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


From the dirty days of football with Jaws at the healm to the high flying , high scoring days of Randall Cunningham, to the the present day of pure and utter dominance of Mcnabb.. The Eagles seem to be imune to adversity maintaining a level of play unmatched by any other.... Our last two weeks have been disappointing , but as with all teams , such is the case.. But like those before , McNabb and team will continue on , and triumph over the Jags ... Ultimately victorious in the 2007 Superbowl!!!!!!! GO EAGLES!!!!!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Baseball Champs - La New Bears

Champs of the Taiwan baseball league ( the CPBL ), that is. The Bears, whose hat shows a pair of shoes looking like the skull of a bull, swept the President Lions , whose hat shows the letters L,I,O,N and S looking like the word LIONS.

The Lions opened an early lead with Chen "The Tall Guy" Lien-hong and Liu "Little Pot" Fu-hao scoring runs against Bear ace, Wu "546" Shi-yo. The Bears' attack started in the 5th with Shi "Little Head" Chi-wei scoring after opening the inning with a double. This was followed up by ex-Dodger Chen Chin-fong knocking the crap out of a Pan "Du Du" Wei-luen pitch that left the park to tie the game at 3. The game remained tied until the ninth when Lions' stopper, Lin "Big Pancake" Yue-bing, was grilled, flattened...whatever, by a lot of other nicknames to give the Bears the game and title, 7-3.


Our local braintrust has come up with a new tack on justifying our drinking to our wives - Guys Night Out. Like that is gonna be music to our gals' ears. Anyway, it has been proposed that we can cloak our thirst for frosty adult beverages under innocuous sounding activities like go-carting, bowling and pool. Again, you can see why our braintrust is in Taichung. Once a month on a Friday or Saturday is all we figure we can get away with. Start planning - your justifications and other "safe" activities - and let us know.


Bets: Bread, if Texas Tech wins you will drink all the beers that I already owe you within 8 hours (bill me). If the Teasippers win, I will publicly sing the praise of this years' University of Texas Athletic Department's marijuana harvest. I await your acceptance or counter-offer.

D-Wayne, I will buy you your two "beer." If I'm feeling generous, I might even buy you two "whiskey" to chase them down with. You can even add two "water" to them if you need to.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

'Inebriation Cat'

These are available at Blockbuster, the Xi Tun branch anyway.

There are six of 'em and I'm assuming they're collectibles.

Last time we went they were sold out though. Anyone else having any luck?

There's one that's actually tipping the bottle back...

There are 3 that fit together on a sofa...

This one reminds me of myself watching mlb playoffs on my tiny tiny tv

Custer the Rapist

Well, who knew that Ataris were so dirty. Asteroids, Pitfall and Home Run were about the extent of our 2600 library, but if I could go back in time, I just might have saved my pennies to buy this. Back in 1982 I thought the J. Giles Band video for Centerfold was the bomb. Little did I know.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


After a dismantling by the vaunted Giants D-Fence, the cowgirls have a full-blown quarterback controversy-do they start the immobile, Statue of Liberty type Drew Bledsoe or the mistake prone Tony Romo-roni? With six, count 'em, six sacks and 3 picks, the Mighty Giants rolled over the hapless lads from little d. t.o. yelled and pouted and cried to no avail. And the best part of all, the 'boys lover from lubbock didn't have the cranberries to show up for the humiliation. Cost him two beer too.

And here is a HOWIGATI, to boot.

Posting from Inside China

Apparently blogspot is only blocked in hotels in China...it's working fine at our company's China office. I bought a Mao-ZeDong poster for RMB 10. Would it be dangerous for me to wave it around on a stick while wearing a red shirt?

Baseball coming to Taichung... maybe

Taichung will host the 16th or 17th Incontinental Baseball Cup Tourney Nov. 9th to the 19th...

The Roman Numerals they are listing say XVI, but all the websites say 17th... I don't know... I feel stupid and confused...

From what I've heard it will be played at a new stadium somewhere in the vicinity of Cheng De and Bei Tun... not the old one down on Double Ten Rd.... anyone been there?

Teams will include Taiwan, Japan, Cuba, Italy, Korea, Netherlands, Australia and the Philippines, I think. For some reason I thought the US was coming... guess not...

past winners here

Bare bones website here, says they have a schedule but I couldn't find one..

Monday, October 23, 2006

School secure

Do you think the English program is too British?
If he was a cop do you he would bother listen to your excuses before writing you a ticket?

'kenny the killer'

over at TWK we tapped into kevlar's brain waves and this is what we found...

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Random Rant

Greetings all!!! This post i guess is dedicated to that fucker that always calls me Buttercup or whatever he says!! Oh wait, Douche!! Thats it.. Anyway , just keeping it real here in Barrie , Agustina was here for three days, just put here on a bus this morning... Other than that just kicking it like a DOUCHE!!!!! Fantasy wise, you all are kicking my ass, how do I lose to Lance??? Daryl and the Commander are bad enough , but Lance???? Ij I must say you have been looking awfully fruity in your last pics, the whole sweet and innocent look does nothing for you, YOU ARE A DRUNK , keep your pics that way!!! NOBODY LISTENS TO TECHNO!!! On the NFL front , I think we all know whats going to happen this week, Eagles 49 Bucs 10 Giants beat the Cowgirls and etc....... Bread is where now?? Turkey?? Everyone else , GO KIDS GO!!!!! Havent heard news on the softball team , is it that bad??? Brettski and I are on the waiver wire, sign us up, if you want to win one game at least!!!! Anywhoo tata for now ladies , and Douche boy , Please talk to me !!!!!!! You complete me, your elementary school insults brightren up my day....

Friday, October 20, 2006

Well, We Haven't Done This For A While

Yep, Canada, that bastion of Kyoto responsibility. No hard caps until 2020 or 2025. But don't worry, the governement will try and reduce emissions by 2050. Fortunately it's okay though, because Canada has signed off on Kyoto, which means they must believe in it, right?

Oh the Zealots

Last year several Muslims declared a boycott on Danish goods following the publication of cartoons offensive to the prophet Muhammad. In Damascus and Beirut, they even went so far as to torch the Danish embassy. However, by and large the demonstrations, though vocal, were carried out by a boycot of Danish products rather than violence. The Danes, the Americans, the Canuckistanis and the West all condemned such ridiculous behavior by the Islamic world. The Danes sustained a slight hit to their economy as two percent of their GNP came from Middle Eastern investments.

This year, Madonna wants to get off a cross on national TV as some type of confessionary symbol. The mere threat of a boycott against a sponsor by the religious right has lead NBC to pull the plug on that particular segment of her show. We often talk about a free market economy when it comes to advertising, and I am certainly no commie. But when we mock Muslims for boycotting Danish products due to the work of a comic strip, perhaps we should be aware of exactly what it is that we are mocking.

*The views expressed above do not represent those of this website, only the author of this article. Actually, they don't represent his views either, as he thinks anybody that gets wound up over Madonna and a Cross needs to pull the stick out of their ass and accept that freedom of expression can be offensive. Similarly, any Muslim that takes offense to the Danish pictures is not to blame, because most Middle Eastern nations have no idea what freedom of the press means and therefore assume that a national publication is sanctioned by the government. Thank goodness we live in wonderful nations like Taiwan, the U.S.A. and Canada where the government would NEVER interfere with our press.

For those who are reading wihout English as a first language, there may have been some sarcasm in the last sentence. Just a bit.

The suckiness that is China

China says soldiers shot dead Tibetan in self-defense
2006/10/13BEIJING, AFP

China said Thursday its border troops shot dead one person who was trying to
flee Tibet into Nepal because they were acting out of self-defense, state
media reported.

I can't say that this video is of the same incident in the above article, but it seems pretty indicative of the situation. Chinese soldiers shooting Tibetan pilgrims at Mount Everest.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Monday, October 16, 2006

answer to j-hole's riddle

What do you get when...

you combine two holidays - the Moon Festival and Double Ten - into one 5 day holiday period? Why, this, of course.

A new leaf

Ah, the happy sounds of life in a small town. This past Saturday I had the opportunity to partake in a little Americana by celebrating in the homecoming festivities with ten thousand of my closest neighbors. This year there was no band from Japan being drowned out by unwieldy brandishers of chainsaws, no over the top reporters declaring war on the UM Forestry Department, nor even a homosexual clown making passes at the young kiddies. No, this year was all pomp and it was alright. The high school bands marched, the 80 year old fiddlers played, the local candidates strutted, and we were all reminded of our state's heritage out here on the edge of nowhere. Yes folks, appparently that heritage has something to do with a circus box and eight mules, and that's just peachy.

P.S. J-Hole: How many beers you wanna lose this time? Colorado? Tough days in Lubbock. You name the stakes my man. Just remember, you're 11.66 down already and that doesn't even include the last basketball season...

Friday, October 13, 2006


China has just eclipsed Taiwan in yet another key barometer of globalization:

Yum's latest effort is a Chinese iteration of Taco Bell in Shanghai, where the company is trying to repeat its KFC and Pizza Hut success with Mexican fare. Little of the Taco Bell formula has been imported from the U.S. The Shanghai outlet, which opened last May, is called Taco Bell Grande.

Actually, the whole article is interesting and explains many of the Bizzaro versions of popular US fast food chains in China, e.g. sit down Pizza Hut with no home delivery.

Note: Article is from 2003 - maybe it's closed by now?

For Texas!

Warning! We are all under siege!

As of October,10, 2006, the entire universe has come under siege. On Tuesday,Taiwanese politician Shih Ming-Teh and his band of 120,000 Redshirts chose Taipei to launch his universal campaign against rule of law and upright-pointing thumbs.

Wielding cries of "Universal siege", "Go, Go, Go" and threats of
immolation by water, the Redshirts effectively exhausted the resources of local food and beverage vendors, forcing them to close their facilities and be content with the short day's windfall.

They are aided in this galactic march by their fourth-estate agent provocateur, Literacy's nemesis, The China Post. Usually insidiously crafty in deploying their almost-Dick-and-Jane level of "English
," they did let slip one comment that could help in identifying these terrifying(ly loud) Shih-ites: "(The Redshirts) wore their red shirts the way Benito Mussolini's Blackshirts wore their black shirts." Keep this in mind and go ask your Italian uncle what the hell that actually means.

If approached by one or more of these Redshirts, we recommend one of two responses.

  • Smile, take out your Pet Rock and introduce it to them. Chances are 70% that they will ignore you and conscript the rock.
  • Hold a roll of Mentos ( 3/4 full at least) next to your head, smile broadly while repeatedly saying " Yummy in my tummy. Yummy in my tummy. The FRESSHH-MAKER!" The ensuing bloodletting over the Mentos will leave you sufficiently "red" to blend in temporarily and find a save haven.

Despite having yet taken his daily $100NT money bath, Central Scrutinizer Shih bravely attacks passers-by with his confounded Brain-Stemming apparatus.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Chad Vader Episode 4...


You can buy all the North Korean gear you want at this website.

Hard currency only.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Ice Cream is great.

Baskin Robins and all 31 flavors have made it to the big city. Kaia and I hit Baskin Robins on gung-e after the S.I.R. 10/10 BBQ. 90 nt a cone but nice 'n sweet.


50th anniversary of the overthrow of the Manchus! 45 years later!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Traditional cookies

At the wonderful age of four months 18 cookies are placed around the childs neck. The belief is that this will prevent excessive drooling in the child.

Chad Vader 4 ...

Chad Vader 4 is going to premiere on Good Morning America 0ct. 11th according to the creators in this short update clip. They also read some fan mail...

Trey and Ivo

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Bellies Full of Meat

We went by the FuBarBQ last night and man was there some tasty stuff! JW was in his element, had some of his pineapple pork, sooo tender! AJ's wings were delicious and DW and Winnie served up some tasty brews. Even saw Red A, briefly. Dean-o, John Ace and Leanne, the Commander and Malcolm, Sho and Zhu-zhu, Brit Paul was his charming old self. Petra and Tassie were there and Ivo and Trey got to know each other a bit... pics of the boys to come... for now just this grainy one of his J-ness...

Uranus, F*CK YOU

Wanna tell you a story,
About the house-man blues
I come home one Friday,
Had to tell the landlady I'd-a lost my job
She said that don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come I didn't get the rent,
And out the door I went

So I goes to the landlady,
I said, "You let me slide?"
I'll have the rent for you in a month.
Next I don't know
So said let me slide it on you know people,
I notice when I come home in the evening
She ain't got nothing nice to say to me,
But for five year she was so nice
Loh' she was lovy-dovy,
I come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?",
I said, "No, can't find no job"
Therefore I ain't got no money to pay the rent
She said "I don't believe you're tryin' to find no job"
Said "I seen you today you was standin' on a corner,
Leaning up against a post"
I said "But I'm tired, I've been walkin' all day"
She said "That don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday"
Now next Friday come I didn't have the rent,
And out the door I went

So I go down the streets,
Down to my good friend's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house,
I could see it in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
Loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go in my room, pack up my things and I go,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
She a-howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get any back rent,
She ain't gonna get none of it
So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
Need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

But I'm sitting now at the bar,
I'm getting drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm drinkin' bourbon, I'm drinkin' scotch, I'm drinkin' beer
Looked down the bar, here come the bartender
I said "Look man, come down here"
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
Gotta get a drink man I'm gonna get gassed
Gonna get high man I ain't had enough,
Need me a triple shot of that stuff
Gonna get drunk won't you listen right here,
I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Now by this time I'm plenty high,
You know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the bar I say to my bartender
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
He said "The clock on the wall say three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
Gotta get drunk man till I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
One drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

--I highly reccomend this song

George Thorogood Lyrics - 1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, 1 Beer Lyrics

Saturday, October 07, 2006

"Moon" Festival 2006 - Uranus Style

That pixel is the planet Earth as seen from V-ger, er VOYager, from the rings of Uranus.

Giggles aside, I have to say it makes all my problems seem small when you realize our whole planet is about a pixel in size from inside our own solar system.

BTW, if I had been erect when this photo was taken, we would have been two pixels large, baby.

Happy Gobble Gobble Everyone

Well for all you Canadians out there Happy Thanksgiving !!!!!!! For you Americans , lets hope you dont all celebrate the same way as your fearless idiotic leader!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Saturday, October 7, in front of FuBar, we will be breaking out the grills and rendering different meats delectable. Arrive around 3 (or earlier) and start your fires so we can get to the eats. D-Wayne will be supplying a few small grills and I will bring a hibachi. If you have one you can bring, then do so. And don't forget meat. Captain Beer has all the aluminum foil you would ever need - if we can pry it loose from his head.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


Rye guy the other side

"I'm gonna soak up the sky and spread these." Gotta wonder if that is a threat or a promise. Rye's student was wearing this after her mid-term. I really wonder what he does in class to peak (peek) his students interest in English. He told me he got bored of his students saying DIY, so he took it upon himself to teach them Jack-off is for boys and Jill-off is for girls.
If Molding young minds works out his future plans are to run for senate. To assist him in his new goals he is purchasing a new cellphone that displays pictures and stores loads of text messages.

almost a holiday

About everyone getting the Monday the 9th off... in exchange for Saturday the 14th...

This wasn't in the original playbook for next week. It was supposed to have been, Friday the 6th off for Moon Festival, back to work on Monday and then Tuesday the 10th off for 10/10. I know people who said , "Well, it sure would be nice if we had that Monday off to round out the 5 day weekend." or "I'm gonna be sick on the 9th..." or "...if we were in Canada we'd get it off..." and on and on...

Me, I was gonna work, no big deal and everything until this past Monday the 2nd when, amid rumours of the government giving everyone a holiday that day, I get the news from my school, no school on the 9th... great, wonderful, no objections here...what? There's a catch? I gotta come here on the 14th to make it up? I'm doing my Monday schedule on Saturday? Fine, I guess, it's fine in exchange for a 5 day uninterrupted holiday weekend, but why?

I've heard a couple of different theories... a) the gov't suddenly announced the bonus (with a catch) holiday in anticipation of a general strike on Monday that may or may not be inspired by or related to the current DAO BIAN shennanigans going on around the island b) people like to not know about a public holiday until the last minute c) no one had any plans for the 14th anyway...

...except for the thousands of people who had planned to get married on the 14th, as it is a very auspicious day according to the lunar calendar... I see big spreads bought and paid for with no one attending 'cause they gotta work... so no red envelopes to help pay for the parties... ouch...

Anyone hear anything else 'cause all research for this post is either conjecture, hearsay or rumour...

Happy M.F. Day!

Tomorrow the Mid-Autumn Festival, or Moon Festival, starts the first day of a 5-day holiday for us in Taiwan. The story can be found here, but it's basically a confluence of several legends and a ceremony. Most people just focus on grilling, eating pomelos and wearing the peel as a hat and passing on the Fruit Cake of the Orient, Moon Cakes. I enjoy them only because I score points by re-giving my box of "so yummy" moon cakes that my school gives me to others (foreigners excluded). I hate the things so much that moon cake and making moon cakes have become my favorite euphemisms for excrement and the process of extruding it, respectively.

Pomelos are larger than grapefruits and their taste is not as strong or tart. The character for pomelo (柚) has the same pronunciation as one character for blessing (佑). The pomelo season coincides with the Moon Festival and thus has become part of the ceremony. They make a hat of it because they really need a good reason to include this B-list fruit in something. Too bad durian isn't indigenous to Taiwan. Now there's a hat.

Grilling in Taiwan, as usual, is done with all the forethought of...oh say, including the Wonderbread headgear of fruit into a major festival. Because of the utter crappiness of their grills they recommend covering either the grill or food with foil. If you covered your grill, that would be baking or roasting, which could be indoors in the oven as well as on a flattop grill or in a device very much like a pan. But that would deny us the chance to squat in the street and burn things. So to clarify things, our good friends at The China Post ( no link because I know by now you already have it bookmarked) on Tuesday, page 20 instruct us that:

Zinc will melt at 460 degrees. The heavy metal, which is poisonous, is often
used to galvanize iron...Meat or fish have to be roasted at a temperature above
600 degrees Celcius.

That my friends, is 1112 degrees Fahrenheit. Safe holidays.


Watch the video

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Pit rock Money

The rock picking continues. In the background are fields of rice with all the rocks removed. This little patch kept one excavator and four trucks busy three days. Profit almost half a million nts. I can't figure out why the rocks are worth so much. I think I must be losing something in the translation. Do Tea houses buy these large boulders by the pound?

Don't step on the shoes!

What do you think of these shoes?

Sunday, October 01, 2006


As week 4 of the NFL quickly approaches here's a link to a pretty funny article about Phil Simms.

Read and enjoy, thanks G for passing it on.