Thursday, January 31, 2008

World Learner Chinese provides 15 minute audiocast Chinese lessons. The majority are basic level lessons - Buying a Bookcase, Do You Like Small Animals? , A Bit Swollen...

The Intermeditate lessons are a bit more, topical, I guess - A Mother's Postpartum Rest, Factories and Exhaust, Environmental Protection, Martial Artist and Have You "Been" Hit?

The dialogues are not as dry as the titles may suggest and a good deal better than most textbooks that I've seen. The dialogues for all levels are reletaviley short. Which I believe is good, as I will explain in a moment. There are three readings followed by a sentence-by-sentence parsing. Two instructors, one Taiwanese and one Western, explain tones, tone changes, vocabulary and it usage. In the intermediate lessons you get the added benefit of listening to the Taiwanese instructor explain these things in Chinese. So, actually, you are getting two short lessons in one. Memorization of dialogs can be helpful, but much more useful is listening to how native speakers describe and explain, much more valuable skills. What are you gonna do when you don't have the word that you want to use in your vocabulary? If you have the skills to do so, you explain it. If not, you ( like many students) say sorry and shut up.

I would recommend this site for learners up to the mid to mid-high intermediate level, if only to polish up some of your syntax and pronunciation. I mentioned that the dialogues were short. That's fine. We don't need to be overwhelmed. Language learning theory, according to Krashen, states that we need comprehensible input, i.e., input that is just a tad over our current level. Comprehension comes before production (speaking, writing) for every language learner , native languages included. Therefore the more input we process, the more that becomes available for output. Our passive skills, listening and reading, will always be greater than our productive skills so it is important to keep topping off the tank.

Bonus - Is Your Chinese Better Than an Australian Prime Minister's?
Here is Prime Minister Rudd speaking Mandarin in an interview. Even when the reporter uses English, he sticks to Mandarin. Click and scroll down to view. You could YouTube P.M. Rudd, but go to this site and look around.


Ran into PJ and drinking beer from 2am to now 6 am. Off to Malapascua see some sharks.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Customs & Immigration Ramblings

So I was standing in line at Customs at the airport and the Taiwanese guy in front of me started bitching at the immigration officers that they should have opened more desks.

First off, he was already through customs.

Secondly, there were about three people in line for each desk. That is far, far better than anything you see in many other countries.

And, seriously, is it ever a good idea to pick a fight with customs and immigration in any country?

I can only guess that maybe he was a Citizen who was using our Foreigner line because it was shorter (usually the other way around) and they took issue with this, and he felt they should have had more Citizen lines.

Personally, I don't know why they have separate lines. Any ideas why they do that?

They should not have separate lines for each desk - instead they should use a single line that feeds into a bank of desks. This is how most banks now operate because it means customers no longer have to worry about "choosing the slow line."

My tip for clearing Hong Kong customs upon arrival used to be to avoid being in line behind the Nigerians, Pakistanis, or Filipinos, as they took forever to clear customs. Now I don't have to worry about feeling quasi-racist since there are no slower or faster lines anymore - just one big line. For departure, they still have single lines, but since you're leaving their Godforsaken polluted little ex-colony they don't care so much.

China now has feedback buttons at the immigration window, at least at Sha To Jiao. You can push Green, Yellow, or Red buttons depending on how satisfied you are. Watch out if you dare to push Red, they put a bullet through your brain and charge your family.

Saddest customs story ever that does not involve Frenchie:

I'm in line at Macao immigration, behind a family of Filipinos (all women and children.) Customs has those little bowls of candy out in front of the counters to show they care. One of the Filipino kids gets a piece of candy as they are being processed, and a Macao customs officer actually comes out and removes the candy bowl from our line. What a piece of shit.

Most useless book I have seen

A Vietnamese-Taiwanese language workbook. But the Taiwanese portion is all in romanized Taiwanese, which I have yet to meet a single Taiwanese who can understand.

Wait. I met one Taiwanese guy who could, a Christian. Because the Bible is translated to Taiwanese in that system.

I guess Linguistics professors in Taiwan need something to do for their research grants. I feel sorry for the Vietnamese mail-order bride who is trying to use this book to learn Taiwanese.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Muppet Show!!!

Back in the day it seemed like John Denver was on the Muppet show every other week. This was his first performance on the Sunday evening variety show. I especially like the part where Kermit and Miss Piggy debate the relative merits of their homelands (swamps vs. pigsties). The site has a ton of shows besides the Muppets, so have a gander.


Weather is a funny thing. Normally, 24 degrees Fahrenheit is pretty chilly. However, an Arctic blast has left the great state of Montana struggling to reach 0 degrees for the better part of two weeks. Well, today we finally climbed out of our hole and reached 24 degrees. I went out in a t-shirt -- it felt like 24 degrees Celsius.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Last week columnist Gail Collins came up with a novel way to select an appropriate presidential candidate. Choose the person you would try to avoid standing next to in a long line at a supermarket. Great idea. That would be all of them except for Fred, and he's not even in it anymore. No, better would to see how each would handle the issue of long supermarket lines.

The Republicans

  • McCain - Would propose some sort of multi-elongation bill mandating that supermarkets must have lines of varying length, including establishing and enforcing lines that reach out the door.
  • Romney - Would promise to use his private sector skills to ensure that everyone had a checkout line for themselves. Like maybe some newfangled gadget that let's the customer do his own checking-out. Yeah that's it!
  • Giuliani - Would require proof of fiscal responsibility and capability. Those that cannot will be expelled from the store and not allowed back in. Strict enforcement of the 10 Items or Less lane. Offenders will be expelled from the store and not allowed back in. Provide choice and quality access to other supermarkets, such as Wal-Mart with their automated self-checkout lanes.
  • Huckabee - I have no idea and don't know how anyone could.
  • Fred - Wouldn't do a thing. People don't like it, they will complain until the manager does something about it or go elsewhere

The Democrats

  • Obama - Would implement policies, increase research, develop innovative approaches, reach out to both the patient and impatient and disburse $100 vouchers good at any supermarket. Failing that, he will ask you to bring real - and exact - change to the checkout line.
  • Hillary - Would implement her comprehensive plan ( the only candidate with one ) to ensure that long lines never occur again. That, and $50 dollars more than whatever Obama promises.
  • Edwards - All customers from Evil-Bad-Rich America ( $75,000 + ) would automatically line up at the back of the line and donate $500 to one customer in the line ahead of them from the Good-True-Not Rich America. It might not solve the line problem, but after a few years there would be true equality, with only a One-Long line America.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

How many kids could you take in a fight.

Linked from my good buddy Peaky.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

M a c a u

Fishermen from Fujian and farmers from Guangdong were the first known settlers in Macau, when it was known as Ou Mun, or "trading gate", because of its location at the mouth of the Pearl River downstream from Guangzhou (Canton). During ancient times port city was part of the Silk Road with ships loading here with silk for Rome.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Tonka VI issue vol 5

Boat Tonka:)

Building a better boyhood


C a o u t u n

Good food, drinks, music and paint ball:)

Would u believe

Monday, January 21, 2008

H o u j i e

I think this is where the Chinese "Back Street Boys" got started.......

123 Main Street

Voting and You (Americans) - caution, smoking in content

Muslim Super Heroes (short report) - the 99

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Weather in Vietnam

Its nice and warm here. And you can access blogger.

No airport pics. Sorry.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

It's Alive

Well, I suppose its about time for a short synopsis as to the wherabouts and goings on in the wonderful world of Frenchie.. But first a few football predictions.. Its seems the obvious choice to pick the San Diego Chargers in a complete rout of the surprise Cinderella squadron from New England, but if being an Eagles fan has taught me anything , its that anything can happen, so I'm choosing to go against the norm and will take the New England Patriots in a surprise thrashing of the injury riddled Chargers!!! Now , on to the NFC.. Now, Im not sure if I speak for myself here, but I personally CANNOT handle six hours of Superbowl pregame listening to how great Brett Favre is. so for that reason alone, I choose, and BEG to the football gods that the football Giants from New York defeat the Packers at home... In Early December my brother and his wife had a baby girl Catherine Elizabeth, 6 pounds 9 ounces. My mother is thrilled to have her first legitimate grandchild!! I too am thrilled, she is absolutely adorable.. Apparantly she looks identical to my brother and I as young infants , so I advised her to enjoy her cuteness and loveability while she can. We all now what the future holds for her esthetically!! Work is going well, I am a supervisor at a large recycling and manufacturing plant, and have obtained both bobcat and forklift licenses, Blue collar has always been my way and apparantly will be for the future.. In the love department I have found the woman of my dreams and forsee a wedding in the year of 09. My task for this year is to figure out the best time for the "big question" I dont fear her answer because, well , really who could say no to this!!! Other than that , its all systems go as normal!! Our winter here has been surprisingly warm, perhaps Al Gore was onto something, although I wont make my decision until Michael Moore makes a documentary claiming the Bush Administration has something to do with the abnormal weather patterns!! Anyway that is all from me for now, as for all of you remaining in Taiwan I wish you all a Happy New Year and warm tidings.. For those of you who have departed and are living back wherever it is you do, the same regards are sent. And of course to Brettski, who im not sure has a computer out in the wilderness, God Bless ya!!!!


Thanks Wayne Wayne!


Friday, January 18, 2008

Going to the doctor and you want to do more than point and say 好 and 不好 ? Here's a decent site that has basic medical Chinese with traditional and simplified characters, pinyin romanization and translation. This is for doctors, so the information is in the form of a question. It is very easy to turn this into a statement even with the lowest level of Chinese. The terms can be found on the Yahoo dictionary link, but this site is grouped into ten topics with all information on one screen.

There are useful words and phrases for everyone here. For example:

D-Wayne - 看著我的 ____. kan4 zhe wo3 de _____
Karl - 我覺得房間在轉動 wo3 jue2 de fang2 jian1 zai4 zhuan3 dong4
Angie - 吞咽困難 tun1 yan1 kun4 nan2
Bread - 請脫衣服 qing3 tuo1 yi1 fu2 and 淋病 lin2 bing4

Time to click on a link. Don't be lazy, do it. This is a very good article about the Chinese trying to break into the US auto market at the Detroit Auto Show.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Listening to my wife and many other Taiwanese I spoke to, you would have thought that last Saturday's election triumph for the KMT was for the presidency and not the legislature. Their grievences were vague but intense and all had Chen ( President Chen ) as the common denominator. No matter that the pan-blue camp ( 泛藍營 ) of the KMT and PFP has had the legislative majority since Chen's first term. No matter that Chen was elected as president, not selected king, and had to deal with a hostile opposition. No, it was all Chen's fault. I asked my wife to make a list of three specific complaints she had and two expectiations she had for the new pan-blue legislative behemoth. I am still waiting.

Chen and the DPP were not saints, saviors or savants. They were, and are, politicians. Their tactlessness on many issues just increased the Taiwanese voters' tendency to view politics as a battle of personae and not issues.

Enter the Persona-to-be-in-Chief, the presidential frontrunner of the KMT, Ma Ying-jeou. On Thursday he asked the public to play the political futures market. For eight years of the presidency he will give Taiwan 100 years of peace and stability.

Always needing more number-titled policies ( easier to score at home), he unveiled his 3 Noes: no pursuit of unification, no Taiwanese independence and no use of force ( He doesn't like force, and you wouldn't like him if you force him to face the use of force - [I will] object to the use of force by either side of the Taiwan Strait to unilaterally change the status quo). Lobbing (unarmed) missiles across the strait doesn't count. He culminated by getting down to brass tacks by vowing to "uplift" and "upgrade" the nation's democracy. Now that, is a plan. Even if it doesn't have a number.

These remarks came from a speech in Taipei sponsored by the the New Taiwanese Foundation and the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute. I have not yet found any transcript or mention at either site. Here are reports from the Taipei Times and The China Post. Ma conducted the speech in English, so the Times account is probably more accurate.

Monday, January 14, 2008


WOO HOO! The New York Football Giants upset America's Team on Sunday, 21 - 17. It was a close game and came down to the final play when Mr. Jessica Simpson threw a pick in the endzone to seal the cowgirls' fate. Our own Hole was busy and couldn't make it. ( can't wait to hear this one!) THE Manning was efficient, and the vaunted G-Men defense was the difference. Bring on the Pack! In other, less important, playoff games, the Chargers upset the Colts. Looks like I will be taking the Super Bowl off work after all.

Bonus HOWIGATI. ( seems people liked the last one)

Saturday, January 12, 2008


Division games start tonight. FuBar will show Green Bay/Seattle at 3 pm on Sunday, followed by New England/Jacksonville. Monday night will have Giants/Dallas at 5 30.

In other news, my parents are in town, decided to come see their only grandson. Got here on Thursday night and here for a couple weeks. Surprising, since my dad is scared shitless to fly, but it was a uneventful flight, and all is good.

The countdown has begun, less than a week till FuBar changes hands. Time is running out to abuse me. Cuz Steve and Mad Mike take over next Sunday, for a bigger and better FuBar. Things should stay basically the same: sports, beer and mediocre service.

Here's a HOWIGATI.

BP Impressions III

Saved the best one for last.

Brit Paul does Brett doing Brit Paul.

Friday, January 11, 2008

News You Can Use - Really. Especially if going swimming with Europeans

An unnamed, 28-year-old male research assistant got a lesson in cultural differences when a visiting Spanish professor at Academia Sinica (中央研究院), Jesus M.De Miguel, 61, offered to help the assistant with his project.

Having met at a gym the day before, the prof suggested they meet again at the gym the following day. They met the next day and the prof suggested they first have a swim.

After the swim, while they were in the showers, the professor burst into the assistant's room and began applying body wash to the assistant's head, back and abdominal region, and then touched his genitals.

The assistant gave up on further research help and ran away from the Spanish clean-freak.

The professor however insisted that a misunderstanding had occurred due to cultural differences, and explained that Europeans tend to expose their bodies and touch others in ways that are different in Asia.

I'm not planning any European trips in the near future, but there are plenty of Europeans here so I would appreciate anyone with knowledge sharing other, lesser known (to me) cultural Do's and Dont's.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

BP Impressions II

Brit Paul does Kevlar. (video)

Bored at Work

Feel better about wasting time playing internet games by playing this word game.


As you play, free rice is donated to help end world hunger.

There is a FREE HOPS drinking game planned, but it won't end world sobriety.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Montana Girls

Spent the holiday down in Texas. Went out a couple of times and remembered what hot women looked like in real life. On the way back I went through Salt Lake. For those of you who don't know, Salt Lake has the hottest women in the United States. I don't know what is in the Mormon water, but it is something. I remember a writer once described his shock at realizing Weber State had hotter cheerleaders than UCLA during an NCAA tourney matchup. Anyhow, as I meandered through the Salt Lake airport I was constantly reminded of how hot they are down in Utah. I started dreaming of sitting next to one of these pretty young things on the airplane and a whole world of fantasy opened. But then reality struck. I knew I had arrived at the Missoula gate when the only women to be found were 200 lbs. minimum. There was one hot girl at the gate...she had read her assignment wrong and quickly scuttled off for St. Louis. Damn. Now I'm back here in the land of landlocked whales and hippie chicks. Maybe Texas isn't so bad after all...

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Brit Paul: Impressions

BP does an American

Getting into Shape

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The
next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50-pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."

He lost 63 lbs that week.

Friday, January 04, 2008

High Speed Rail 7-11 Question

If you have ever driven on Taiwan's highways and used the rest areas, you might have noticed that the convenience stores inside the rest area don't sell Coca Cola products. They only sell "local" brands like Sars, Vitalon, and Supao. It was annoying because I wanted a diet Coke. Not a big deal, but apparently since the rest areas are state-owned, so was the store, or at least it bowed to pressure to sell only "local" brands or demanded a stocking charge that Coca Cola wasn't going to pay. I believe those stores were actually state-owned and operated, so I think it was a conscious decision not to sell "foreign" brands. (This might have changed but was the case several years ago.)

Now I was just in the 7-11 at the High Speed Rail station when I noticed they only sold Taiwan Beer and TsingTao Beer (now also made in Taiwan.) There were no other beer brands available, though Coca Cola was. It guess it could just be an issue of space, but I doubt it as they had room for more brands. And if I had to choose beer brands to sell on the basis of sales alone, I would sell Taiwan Beer, Kirin Beer, and maybe Heineken.

I wonder if instead that the 7-11 stores only carry "made in Taiwan" products because they are in state owned property. Which would be rather hilarious when you are using a rail system primarily built by foreigners. I guess forcing us to buy Taiwan made beers in the 7-11 helps offset the profits those Japanese train makers made.

Now, again, I may be fully off base here - maybe it was just a space decision and TsingTao really outsells Kirin in retail stores, so let me know anyone knows anything. I think that at the regular Taipei Train Station, the 7-11 does sell foreign beers. I know for a fact that at the Taichung train station I used to be able to buy German tall boys of Veltins.

UPDATE: After some research, I found that Taiwan beer (and associated brands) retains 80% market share for beer in Taiwan. Okay, I have no problem with stocking Taiwan beer (and Gold Medal.) But is TsingTao really the next most popular beer? According to this article it was for a while. Maybe it still is. So maybe that's the correct mix for a limited size 7-11. According to the article, American beer actually outsells Japanese beers. For some reason I keep thinking that Taiwanese like Kirin. Maybe they really do drink Miller.

p.s. For all of those who drink TsingTao at the that what you drink when you buy at 7-11? I somehow doubt it. Let me know, though.

The Brutal Honesty of Children

Niece: Uncle Brett, are you married?
Uncle Brett: No.
Niece: Why not?
Uncle Brett: I'm too young.
Niece: You're young? Are you still a student?
Uncle Brett: Yes, in fact I am.
Niece: But you have gray hair!
Uncle Brett: School does that.
Niece: If you have gray hair you cannot be young.
Uncle Brett: Thank You.
Niece: If you don't marry soon, you will be all gray and nobody will want to marry you.
Uncle Brett: Thank you again.
Niece: Are you really a student?
Uncle Brett: Do you know what a knuckle sandwich is?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Convenience Stores in Taiwan

I need to confess something.

I have always been a loyal 7-11 customer, but lately I find myself more and more often visiting the local Family Mart, eschewing 7-11 altogether.

God, I hate the word eschewing, and here I am using it just so I can tell you I hate that word. It seems like it really should be a new kind of nut they found in Venezuela. "Here try one of these eschews. Tastes pretty good! You should try the wasabi ones. Deeeeelicious."

Okay, anyways, why am I in the Family Mart? To buy Yebisu "The Hop" beer which is actually somewhat close to a microbrew pale ale in terms of taste and mouth feel. Mouth feel is not what you want to do to Jessica Alba, but is used to discuss the texture of beer in one's mouth. Wouldn't it be great to have Jessica Alba floating in a vat of beer so you could talk about mouth feel with her? "Firm, full bodied, with a natural perfume."

I have had a couple of Yebisu "The Hop" Beers lately that did not taste as great, so your mileage may vary, but I recommend trying one of them. If you can get Jessica Alba to cooperate I will go halfsies with you on the cost of filling the beer vat.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Slap ma fro!

Ni Howdy now available in JIVE

Here's a sample from some previous posts yo.

"Raz'tus led me t'dis site jibjab. Co' got d' beat! It's fine funny. Slap mah fro! Unfo'tunately ah' can't embed da damn video so's..."

John, you just gotta ask people about shizznit the right way...

"Help Needed - ah' have some high farm student, Buckwheat, dat ah' have taught fo' about some year-and-half durin' his time at I-Nin'. He gots always been some hard wo'kin' English student. Man! Unlikes most students, he snatch'd de initiative, approachin' me and oders t'engage in conversashun and snatch'd responsibility fo' his English learnin'. De last two years he gots been practicin' magic (and testin' out his tricks in English) and he's not baaaad. Not great eider, but he's always wo'kin' and might be one day. Slap mah fro! Yesterday he came upside to me and ax'ed when ah' wuz goin' back t'de States. ah' told him ah' wuz goin' back in de summer. Ah be baaad... Dat be too late. He graduates dis year and ah' gots'ta not be back befo'e he leaves our farm. His request be a U.S. half dollar fo' use in some magic tricks. If any sucka gots one dat dey would be willin' t'cut up, ah' and Buckwheat bod would greatly appreciate it. Man! He real be a great kid. Let me know, so cut me some slack, Jack. Danks."

CONGRATS to MONTANANS on dere drinkins. AHHH... be Baaad!

I am a

What Flower
Are You?

Remember that post buried under a mountain of wiki stats?

Okay, so nobody got anything for Christmas and no one has a half dollar they are willing to part with for the edification of a would-be illusionist. Fine. This non-action only strengthens the call of the Dark Arts for him. Soon enough he'll be walking around school with his shirt open, disappearing playing cards into the mouth of his Ma Ying-jeou tattoo on his chest or growing a furry mustache and wearing a clinging neon green spandex shirt constantly cheering us with the chant "It's Magic!"

百步笑五十步 - Huang Kuang-kuo ( 黃光國 ) is mad as hell and he's not gonna take it without a press conference. Mr. Huang, convener of the Democracy Action League (民主行動聯盟) is upset with the upcoming vote on the referendum of Taiwan's admission into the U.N. The KMT is sponsoring one using The Republic of China as it's name, while the DPP is using Taiwan.
( A digression. Interestingly, the U.S. is only displeased with the DPP's proposal because entry into the U.N. with the name Taiwan would imply that Taiwan is an independent country and thus upsets the One China, status quo policy. However, using The Republic of China would be entirely different. Well, not really. The ROC was offered the choice of dual representation for China, but Peanutheadissimo CKS refused and the PRC entered the UN as China's rep. I don't think that the PRC will suddenly allow a do-over and let Taiwan enter as the R.O.C. This would establish two Chinas (or two countries using the name China) and nobody i.e., the U.S. and China, want that. More boat rocking. The other possibility would be for the PRC to allow themselves be subsumed by the R.O.C. It would be a one-China, but just not the right-a-one.)
Meanwhile, back at the conference... Central Scrutinizer Huang was warning
  • "The two major parties are cheating you out of your votes."
  • the referendums on Taiwan's admission to the United Nations are a dirty trick to get votes for Kuomintang standard bearer Ma Ying-jeou and his DPP rival Frank Hsieh.
  • the DPP and the Kuomintang both want to lure more voters to the polls to boost the chances of their respective candidates to win the presidential race.
  • both the DPP and KMT want to win the election ( He didn't actually say that, buy I'm sure it was on his talking points.)

So, what was his concerned response? Organize another party. What is it? I'm gonna lead with The China Post's - 萬 歲 ! - translation, the League for Boycotting Referendums and here be the Chinese, 拒領公投票聯盟. The D.A.L. is joined in this super league by 6 other smaller groups of revellers:the New Party, Non-Partisan Solidarity Alliance, Home Party, Citizens' Party, Taiwan Farmers Party, and Hakka Party.

What will the Ju-Ling League do? They will (1) fight the Blue and Green camps' manipulation of the referendum in using up too much of society's resources, (2) expose the evil nature of the two camps and (3) 呼籲選民將政黨票投給小黨 - call upon the voters to give their votes to small parties. But there won't be any cheating, pulling any dirty tricks or, gasp, luring, or, heavens, boosting. Well, they didn't say that either.

Extra credit - Match the Chinese and the English parties. Which one is the Home Party and why?

民主行動聯盟與新黨、紅黨、無盟、台灣農民黨、聯合公民黨、客家黨 、新黨

All errors and omissions courtesy of the China Post staff