Saturday, June 26, 2010

Gorebot Sex Video

And, yes, this video is now being spread around the United States and the world...Taiwan, leading the world in simulated sex tapes.

Friday, June 25, 2010


20,000 NT or best offer ( $ 600 CDN)
New starter, new timing belt,
all road taxes and speeding tickets paid.

Cheap and easy.

Mountain Man

While surveying an old homestead two weeks ago I came across this old gentleman, Archie. He was more than happy to talk...and talk...and talk some more. His family had homesteaded the area north of Missoula back in the 19th century and he had lived in the old house his entire life. No kids, no wife, no worries for this character. Over the weekend, some friends and I were looking for a place to go shooting. One of them is going through a divorce and needed to blow off some steam. So we loaded up the car, drove to the hills and went to visit my new friend.

We showed up at Archie's house around eleven, and he didn't immediatly answer. We sat around bullshitting for about ten minutes when he stumbled outside looking a bit worse for the wear. We asked him what he was up to and here was his response:

Well, last night my buddy and I ended up at Fred's (the local titty joint on the Interstate, a rough location with rough looking women). Then we went into Missoula to grab a hamburger and somehow ended up at the Fox Club (another titty joint, a bit more upscale). I can't remember what time I got home, but if I don't get some coffee in me soon, my head's gonna explode.

85 and still looking at titties -- I hope I'm as interested should I live that long. He gave us permission to shoot on his property, got his coffee, and came out and joined us. He picked off gophers at 150 yards and encouraged us to find the coyote that had been hassling his calves. While picking off coke cans, he regaled us with stories ranging from the times of street cars in Missoula to replacing the transmission in his Chevy blazer two years ago to what's really going to happen with all the oil in the gulf (in short, he's not optimistic). After shooting for an hour, he told us to wait. He went inside and brought out his dad's old Colt revolver in perfect condition. We shot it for awhile, but not near as well as he. We wrapped up our visit to the Carlson homestead with Natural Light on the porch and bid Archie adieu. I reckon we'll be visiting again soon.

Asshats In Taiwan

Warning! The following photo shows a graphic image of a deranged man mutilating flesh. Never - NEVER - attempt this at home. Or at a park. Or, or... anywhere else on Planet Earth.

For those too lazy to click and read the caption, here is the salient part: American Institute in Taiwan Director William Stanton, right, demonstrates yesterday how to prepare a T-bone steak in the American Pavilion at this year's Food Taipei, the Taipei International Food Show.

(Not pictured: bottle of A-1 sauce; boiled Beluga caviar and peanut butter sandwich; 1959 Chateau Lafite-Rothschild Pauillac and 7-Up spritzer)

Jesus wept. Tom Perini threw up. I'm suing. If that don't put beans in your chili, I don't know what does.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Mandarin Swear Words

Executive Summary:

bàojúhuā (爆菊花) = explode the chrysanthemum (anus), i.e., insert the penis into the anus

cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài (肏你祖宗十八代) = fuck your ancestors to the eighteenth generation

wángbā (王八) / wàngbā (忘八) = cuckold; this was an insult as early as the Song dynasty.

wángbādàn (王八蛋, informal simplified: 王八旦) / wàngbāgāozi (王八羔子) = bastard (lit. "turtle egg" and "turtle kid.")

wǒ kào (我靠 or 我尻) – "Well fuck me!", "Fuck!", "Fuckin' awesome!" or "Holy shit!" (Originally from Taiwan, this expression has spread to the mainland, where it is generally not considered to be vulgar. originally meant "butt.")

There are many, many more insults in the link.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Another Fine Japanese Candy Product

Salt in your Coffee - Its not just for Taiwanese anymore

85C has opened a store in Irvine, CA.

I have never been to an 85C before - any good?

They have special sea-salt cream foam in their coffee.

and squid ink buns...

Oh hell - read the much better NPR story.

Monday, June 14, 2010

F this, F that

Finga's FM Fatty's Fubar Full House

to follow Falut and Fj's link to full house

Watched my first full rugby game on Saturday warming up for "the footie".
Spent 7 hours plowing through beer tickets, 4 draft 300nt. The bubbly cure all juice for the FIFA world cup fever.

footie, FIFA, Fever,
got more F's then Dr.Zeuss' beaver.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Game for Frenchy

"Icing" is a new viral drinking game involving Smirnoff Ice.

Rules, etc. are explained here.

Smirnoff Ice was a popular "desert" drink after a session during the time of Frenchy. We just didn't make it a game and force people to drop to a knee to slam it. Its supposed to be savored - dammit.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Stalin Still Rules

Re the ongoing North Korea fetish.

'NK -the most bizarre country in the world' by Sue Lloyd Roberts.

I showed the correspondent's mini documentary last week to a World Issues class.

This scene, included in the report and republished in the above link, floored me (I'll link to the doc if I can find it again) :

"I visited model farms, model villages, model factories and model schools, though, at the school, even my government minders looked faintly embarrassed when I asked a model pupil in an English language class who he admired most among modern world leaders and he answered: "Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong."

Reportedly rounding out his top five were Ho Chi Minh, Nicolae Ceausescu and Enver Hoxha.

Sanctions Busting

One advantage of living in Taiwan, is that since they aren't recognized by the UN, they don't have to worry about complying with global boycotts or sanctions.

In my 18 years in Taiwan, I have broken the following sanctions/boycotts:

1) I drank South African beer when South Africa was still under the trade embargo. It was good and cheap at Circle K and other locations.

2) I bought a winter coat made in Vietnam, when the United States wasn't doing business with Vietnam. I always wondered about making winter coats in a hot, humid country - like making surf boards in Siberia.

3) I smoked Cuban cigars in Taiwan, and even took a few back to the States. Shhhhhh, don't tell Homeland Security.

4) Last week-end, Dean-o bought some pistachios to share at Mom & Pop's. They were from Iran. I have checked pistachios in Taiwan for a long time, and they are always from California - so this was a first.

Dean-o of course told me he actually bought a bottle of North Korean soju. This depressed me as I realized I was missing North Korean products in my line-up now.

Luckily, I found a company that sells jeans made in North Korea: nokojeans. I may have a pair sent to me to achieve my final illicit purchase.

I wonder if the jeans are made from Vinalon? That would be a key selling point.

UPDATE: US$ 231.00 for a pair of jeans...may have to wait a while for that to be possible.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Umami - George Foreman Jedi's Favorite Taste

Sorry for the blank post - this pic would not load up and I just said "fuck it."

Apparently from comments, people did like the new, empty format. Go figure.

Sitting around at Mom and Pops on a Sunday without the internet means that you have some serious googling to do on Monday.

Umami, also referred to as savoriness, has been proposed as one of the basic tastes sensed by specialized receptor cells present on the human and animal tongue. Umami (旨味?) is a loanword from Japanesemeaning "good flavor" or "good taste" (noun).[1] In English, however, "brothy", "meaty", or "savory" have been proposed as alternative translations.[2][3] In as much as it describes the flavor common to savory products such as meat, cheese, and mushrooms, umami is similar to Brillat-Savarin's concept of osmazome, an early attempt to describe the main flavoring component of meat as extracted in the process of making stock.

Also, if anyone is interested in World Cup Soccer, you can watch the Germany-Greece match here. Its like a 3 minute highlight clip - highly recommended.

the dread scarlet lily beetle

These little bastards have made swiss cheese out of my lilies.

I've tried squashing, mashing, stomping, burning, roasting and drowning them.

They hump constantly and squeal and kick their legs when hunted.

Soapy water helps to block their breathing but like any insect with a foothold they're hard to exterminate completely.

A local science teacher suggested beer. They're quickly drawn to the aroma and plunge into a drunken doom.

The last search of my garden turned up none but they'll soon be back.

Just wondering if any other Howdlings are familiar with these annoying creatures.

Friday, June 04, 2010