Monday, July 31, 2006

Cultural Outing Attempt 27

This past Sunday, Commander Cardy did a little reconnaissance work for us and scouted out the Wu Rih (烏日) beer factory - there was a time when I would've said brewery, but that was when my English skills were substantially better than my students. Anyway, I very like the sound of beer factory. I have tried for some time to organize a venture out to one of the TTL beer factories, but the previous night's beer drinking always quashed whatever desire we had to get up and drive 20 minutes in the heat with a hangover.

This time will be different. We will go. And, we will meet at 10:30 on Soho Street, Sunday morning (the 6th). We will drive for a quick 20 minutes protected from the heat by the haze that has yet to burn off. Upon arrival we will marvel at the beer-keg fountain. We will then proceed inside where we will enjoy cold, unpasteurized $50NT beer while sitting upon beer-keg stools. The Commander informed me that there was not much else to do so I am proposing that we add another leg to our schedule. The Taichung Beer Factory is only a beer-can's throw away in the Industrial Park. Situated in the midst of several acres of primeval concrete is an alcohol-dedicated oasis serving up not only what the TTL refers to as "liquid bread," but also all kinds of spirits, "wine," UNCHOLE (no relation) Monascus (red yeast rice) and of course, there's the Alcohol Cultural Pavilion. So, do your drinking early Saturday and get you prepared to drink beer all day in the 100 degree heat. Go ahead and RSVP so we know whether we need to call and awaken you from your hangover.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

People in Taiwan

Well its nearly five am in the morning here in Barrie and i am just polishing off the last of my beer and came onto the site and have become naustalgic.. Its funny the people you meet in life and the ones that remain in your heart and mind.. I have been back for nearly a year now and have come into contact with many of my old amigos i had before leaving for Taiwan.. Somehow it just isnt the same .. While in taiwan they barely crossed my mind , perhaps its do to the fact that i was meeting so many others in Taiwan ?? But as Eddie Vedder once said Hearts and Thoughts do fade away but for all of you back in Taiwan they certainly do not .. Quite the bunch i met over there , whetehr it be a hairy neandrethal , a pony tailed wearing living corporate monopoly , an afro wearing expos fan , a guy from texas whos heart is almost as big as his love for beer, a south african who still addresses freinds in army terms , another south african who jumps off cliffs and is the only one who can use having only one broken front tooth to his advantage in meeting girls, or just that big huge tall guy from texas who truly HATES CHINA, call it useless rambling , the bottom line being you are all great people even those i didnt put a label on and i miss you all dearly ... Keep it real and keep being the bunch that you are , im better for knowing each of you......... Cheers and Goodnight

NC minutes

I put the minutes of last week's meeting at Northern Command HQ in my pocket and promptly sent them to the laundromat rendering them clean but unintelligible.

Here's what I recall.

Jerry has yet to pass his driver's test because he can't get used to driving on the right side of the road. Constant failures perhaps racially motivated.

JW has friends in Lubbock who a) never left and b) drink as much or more than he does.

One story was particularly interesting and I seem to be a little fuzzy on the details but JW's friend-who-never-left-Lubbock showed up at his Mom's house at 5:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning with beer. JW, though groggy, folded faster than Superman on laundry day and quickly joined his friend in a pleasantly nostalgic liquid breakfast until John's Mom got up to get ready for church. It was around this time that said friend found a bottle of rum. So they drank it down. Rum-dumb, they drove a pick up truck down the street, avoiding children and small dogs and ran over a fire hydrant that didn't even explode water 'cause it's so damn dry in West Texas this summer. IS THAT RIGHT? SURELY IT MUST BE/NOT. There was some kind of something goin' on...

JW was sporting his National College Baseball Hall of Fame T-shirt which had written on the back the names of the inaugural inductees. Did you know that Will Clark, Dave Winfield, Robin Ventura and Buddy Holly are ALL from Lubbock? JW did.

Down to the business of the blog. A motion was forwarded that contributing bloggers be given assignments, research grants or quotas that must be filled during an as yet undisclosed period of time. Others argued this would imperil the original easy going liberal hippy attitude that has come to define the Ni Howdy environment. Stay tuned for more on that...

The rest, and the bulk, of the meeting was devoted to the discussion and speculation of a flashpoint situation that cannot as yet be discussed in such a public forum due to security concerns. Sorry. Write a letter.

Conspiracy theorists tabled these...

Why is Bread really going to Australia?

What was Bread really doing in Spain?

How can he afford such a swank lifestyle?

Why is Kevlar's motorcycle appearing at every other intersection?

Why indeed?

Overheard at FuBar

Conversation between a Taiwanese Lady and a South African regular.

TL: Where are you from?
SA: South Africa.
TL: I have been there. I really enjoyed it. I went to Kruger National Park.
SA: Ah, yes. Very nice there. Did you enjoy the animals?
TL: Yes, the crocodile was delicious!

Have a nice day

Saturday, July 29, 2006

One whole day sans internet!

Yesterday morning around 9 am a awoke to the clattering of roof tiles being removed from a currently vacant house two doors down. There was a crane sitting smack dab in the middle of the alley making it completely impassable. Fine. This happens all the time on the island. You round a corner and there's a funeral or wedding reception blocking your normal route. C'est la vie. You adjust. On this morning I had no where to be anyway. They're not being too noisy so who cares? And if they were being noisy there wouldn't be a god damn thing I could do about it anyway. So I sauntered to the kitchen, put the kettle on and made my way to the computer.

RED light on my ADSL box. No signal. Try again. Nothing.

The first curse words of the day form in my mouth and make their way out into the room. I hate swearing in the morning before I have my coffee! Shit!

Maybe it's an anomoly. Try the phone. Dead. Damn. Something's definitely amiss.

I walk outside. Construction, or destruction more accurately, continuing unabated. I'm starting to think the jackass in the crane clipped something. I begin to mentally berate and insult him.

I check with my neighbor. " dian hua ma?", "Mei you."

"Wang lu ma?", " mei you."

We then confirmed to each other that this was indeed hao ma fan de shr qing.

Later when the crane had left, we went to investigate and discovered there was a huge gouge out of the cable that runs along the neighbors wall. To me it was obvious someone had dropped the ball and scraped where he shouldn't have scraped. The destruction company said they'd fix it and not to worry.


Maybe Monday. Monday? Not good enough. How horrifying! A weekend without my precious internet? This sucks! This aggression will not stand, man!

And how exactly would a company that removes roof tiles be equipped to repair a damaged phone/ADSL line?

This was beyond me so I called Chunghua Telecom. Explained the situation. Nothing happened yesterday I think because it was Friday afternoon. (Duh!)

This a.m. I got up to watch Wang Jian-min pitch for the Yanks vs. the D-Rays. I called a second time around 9 using a different number, spoke to a sweet lady in Taipei who ended up dispatching a repairman. About 10:25, my neighbor rang my bell saying the guy was here. Elatedly I went outside to meet him. I wasn't there 3 minutes when he said to go check it. So I did. Connection re-established! All systems were go and ,knock on wood, still are.

So thanks to the efficiency of the Changhua telecom crew I am back online relating this story to you now. Aren't yall just pleased as punch?

Of course I came here first. And what do I see? Old pics of Me! And the Sandstress!

Now I gotta figure out how to recover my notes from Wednesday's Northern Command meeting....

Sweeping changes seem to be in the offing....

Look for possible trades to happen before the deadline on Monday...

One hot rumour is that Management is looking trade Captain Beer for some actual beer.

Takers should contact the GM....

Guess who La?

It is not that hard to define NASTY!

Smoking is bad

Cigarettes are bad. This 20 pack sells from 8 to 11 dollars a pack.
Due to new and exciting gas regulations the price of gas is $1.23 a litre. When I arrived here gas was $1.14 a liter.

Frenchie is going to Europe!!!!!!!

Well, im not really going for a while but , I am one to always be planning ahead , i have just recently got a a couple of tatoos to ensure my well being , wherever I end up !!!!!! Okay okay , they arent tatooes I sewed them on my backpack!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 28, 2006

College Baseball Hall of Fame

July 4th saw not only the traditional parade and street festival on Broadway in Lubbock, but also the induction ceremony for the inaugural year of the College Baseball Hall of Fame. Five former coaches and five former players were in Lubbock for the holiday celebration. It started Monday night with the Brooks Wallace Award banquet, which honors the College Baseball Foundation player of the year (Wallace was an ex-Tech player and coach who died of cancer in 1985).

The following day, the 4th, the inductees participated in the parade (that's Dave Winfield in the above photo) with an autograph session. Afterwards the televised induction ceremony began with each person given a jersey and some time to talk. It was great to be able to see guys like Winfield, Will Clark, Bob Horner, Brooks Kieschnick and Robin Ventura in person (though during the parade I think I saw one guy mime the Nolan Ryan headlock and head pounding of '93), but the coaches were definitely the ones I preferred listening to, especially Bobby Winkles (pictured below). Here is a link with better pictures and a description of the events and this one gives a brief bio of all the inductees.

The CBF secured the Collegiate Baseball Newspaper's archives and therefore the College Baseball Hall of Fame will become the newspaper's official archive of record. It will be housed at Texas Tech's Southwest Collections/Special Collections Library until the new minor league ballpark Tech will use is completed.

Happy Birthday Kaia

She hit the big ONE.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Blue Jays 3, Mariners 7

Caught a game at the corporately name park in Seattle on Monday. Nice evening, good visit with the brother, decent seats. Lots of Canucks made the trip down from BC, so there was good banter for the better part of the evening. Nobody booed any anthems though (San Jose fans), and no Canadianers threw bananas at the Black athletes (Montreal fans), so it was a bit more subdued than I anticipated. In fact, it was basically a love-in between the two countries for the better part of the evening (Canadians next to me flying both flags, Americans behind me saying how much they love the Canadian anthem Go Canada). Scary, Americans and Canadians being friendly? Who'd of thunk it?

Off to Australia on Saturday, then back in time for law school at the end of August. Hope everyone is well.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


FuBar will show an Off The Record (it's a show on TSN. you know, the Canadianer ESPN. )interview with Terrell Owens, Thursday at 6 pm. Light hearted affair about the life and times of the biggest arse in pro sports today.

On another topic, there will be a Back To School Party on August 26th, Soho St. Music, food and beer. More details to follow.

I need, I want, I need, I want

Kevlar, before you return, I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you to bring me 2 rolls of good duct tape, a few coffee crisps and a tasty flank of moose meat. Thanks!!!!

What day are you getting here? I'm going through some major K withdrawl!

Northern Command Meeting

Today at 5:00 at the 8 Drunken Fairies. Rye, Red A, attendance is mandatory. All others are more than welcome to come help out with our drafts.

Summer School Extra Credit

Normally, I am completely against hunger strikes. Firstly, I think it's extremely selfish. It's the same as a little kid holding their breath til they turn blue. I don't care if Gandhi did it and got his way. It's still very selfish and it wastes other people's time and resources caring for you. That's no way to treat your body. Be active,man! Cut off their food supply, or at least taint it. Keep it mano-a-man. It's a wussy, protracted version of suicide, which is a popular way in Taiwan of showing your innocence, righteousness or just plain hepness. Secondly, the hunger strikers rarely follow through, showing a serious lack of commitment. Slackers.

However, I am making an exception in one case. Li Wen-cheng, a student from Fu Jen Catholic University started a hunger strike on Thursday. He's protesting scandals that surround Taiwanese president, Chen Shui-bian. I have been out of pocket lately concerning local news, but I believe one scandal has just remained simmering at the unproved accusation stage and the other concerns his son-in-law, who appears to be headed up the river. Thank God I'm not held accountable for my mother-in-law or brother-in-law or I would be getting a lifetime immersion course in Taiwanese. His son-in-law? Son-in-laws are thieving, conniving scoundrels stealing daddy's little girl. I bet Chen probably turned him in himself, but didn't foresee the consequences.

Initially, I was not for his hunger strike, but by my 7 Seven Deadly Sins scorebook, he's up 4-3. For him, he has Envy, Lust, Gluttony and Greed. Against him, he has Pride, Anger and Sloth, so I figure he's okay. Mortal Sins are a little bit harder to judge, but I'm calling it even with Suicide going against him and Adultery for him ( I am assuming here). The topper was his status as student. Who has not been told by one of their parents that if start something, you should finish it? If you don't try you'll never succeed. Evidently, Taipei mayor Ma Ying-Jeou and I agree that this young man should fulfill his commitment. He has been the only prominent politician to visit him, very obviously to lend his support. He needs to learn to start seeing things through to their completion. Li states that his classmates and his willpower will let him succeed. Let's all add our wishes and support to theirs.

A great lie and 5,000 feet to the hole

The theme of the Lubbock 4th of July parade.

The gay and lesbian float - though I didn't know and had to be told. A little more, uh, less vocal and more traditional than the Kevlar's Antigonish float.
What 4th of July parade would be complete without the bail bond truck? I'm not sure, but I think it followed directly behind the gay and lesbian float.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Vacation Quick Hits

  • Wi-fi is all fine and everything unless you don't have a laptop or are stuck with your Mom's Compaq with varying 1-touch screen deletion and no USB port.
  • First meal back in the States: found a lovely place in Inglewood across from the race track called Beer and Liquor with a sign advertising New, Taller Attendants. Had Crunchy Cheetos (Bonus Bag) with an IceHouse beer. Main course was pickled sausage and spicy jerky accompanied with more IceHouse. Ooh La La!
  • I think LA has a 24-hour Becker station.
  • Stalked Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in the Southwest terminal to get a photo and almost got mine taken by LA's finest.
  • Sat next to two 9 year-old Taiwanese boys on their first plane trip on the way over. They got a kick out of constantly ordering different kinds of alcohol from the stewardess. I got a kick out of it too and gave them some hints after they ran out of ideas.
  • Had a bilingual "discussion" with a female official at passport control at CKS with 20 minutes to boarding. We "discussed" her job responsibilities - she in English and me in Chinese. Grabbed my passport and took off while she pondered exactly how she worked for me.
  • Fei Gou Bus Company really sucks. I ended up taking a $ 80 US taxi ride to the airport. Their clock was 40 minutes slow and I kept believing the It's coming right now line. Should've known better, especially after reading the help-wanted sign for station attendant, ticket seller, and bus driver.
  • 2-for-1 steaks at the supermarket on July 4th
  • Constant 100 degree dry heat
  • Being first when the Krispy Kreme Hot Now sign flicks on (thank you jet lag).
  • On the plane to Lubbock, Texas Tech basketball recruit, Decensae White from Serra High School (Tom Brady's and Barry Bonds' school), related to me how many high school athletes in California have what he called an attitude problem. They seem to have no problem letting their coaches know exactly what they think is wrong at any time.

I promised a more thorough introduction to Lubbock musicians, but unfortunately, due to some terrible events, will have to rely on sources other than I had planned. Nevertheless, I leave you with this question -

Which Lubbock musician taught John Lennon and Mick Jagger to play blues harmonica?

Googling for Lubbock musicians is okay, but not for the specific question.

Gay Pride parade

Nova Scotia and several other provinces legalized same sex marriage last year. Many "partners" are adopting children. ( I had no idea)

Brit Video 44 sec

Built in 1866

This is a 7 ton cannon, lying and waiting for the French. When will The Canadian branch of home security come to collect this weapon.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sunday Haiku

Just back from Hong Kong.

An overstay is not age


Friday, July 21, 2006

Heading to China

After you get a wife and a toddler, business trips suddenly become much more pleasant for some reason:

The Week Of Living Dangerously Lyrics

I got out of work and I headed for the neighborhood beer joint
I sat around and had a beer with the boys like I always do
Well I didn't have nothin' to say anyway there ain't no point
There's just something 'bout a Monday that always makes me blue

Well it was well after dark so I knew my wife and kids were waitin'
And I guess I took a left where I generally take a right
Well I filled her up with gas, checked the oil at the Texaco station
I threw the car seat in the dumpster and headed off into the night

There's somethin' 'bout a Monday that always makes me blue

Well I headed south on 35 hell bent for vinyl
I hadn't never had her up past 55 before
Well somethin' 'bout that little red line always looked so final
Buddy you'd be surprised how fast a Chevrolet truck can go

*Now, down in Mexico they've got a little place called Boystown
Where a man's still a man if you know what I'm talkin' about
Well, I walked into the Cadillac bar and I laid my cash down
I said "there's plenty more where that came from" and the lights went out

Well I woke up in a county jail 'cross the line in Laredo
With a headache and a deputy staring at me through the door
Well he said "Now how you got across that river alive, I don't know
But your wife just made your bail so now you're really dead for sure"

Now my wife, she called my boss and cried so I got my job back
And the boys down at the plant, they whisper and stare at me
Yea well my wife can find a lot of little jobs to keep me on the right track
Well, but that's a small price to pay for a week of living dangerously

That's a small price to pay for a week of living dangerously
Thanks Steve Earle. Unlike J-Hole I don't mind that you sang some dumbass song about Johnny Walker Lindh.

*Okay, I will avoid that kind of fun, but I will take SLEEP, SLEEP, AND MORE SLEEP PLEASE.

Thanks Steve Earle. Unlike J-Hole I don't mind that you sang some dumbass song about Johnny Walker Lindh.

Notes from Southern Europe

1. Grecian men on the beach have hairy backs. They make Kevlar look like Kojak.
2. Albania is cheap and cool and beautiful and in ten years will be as expensive as the rest of the continent.
3. Montenegro chicks are not that hot, but Montenegro mountains are pretty cool (above photo).
4. Serbians think that every nation in the Balkans are a part of Serbia; the other nationalities seem to have a problem with this line of thinking.
5. Italy is filled with bad guys; they will steal your sunglasses off your head when you are sleeping in a park and then try to sell them back to you from a kiosk near the train station.
6. Croatia, though once beautiful and trendy, is now overrated at best.
7. Europe in general is too expensive for the services which you are supposedly getting. No wonder everyone lives with their parents until they are fifty.
8. I have little need for a return visit.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Another week older

and deeper in debt

Laurence Fishburne's Early Career

Check out this rare video of Laurence Fishburne's stint in Bollywood.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Comedy Podcast

I've been having good results listening to this podcast by Jimmy Pardo and friends.

It seems to make my bushiban commutes a little less painful.

If 6 were 9

If 6 were 9 then I'd be remembering Bread's birthday on time.

Happy belated!!!

Here's Gordon Lightfoot doing the Bread song, 1970...

My little road trip

20 degrees in the morning(7am). 30 in the afternoon. 20 after 6pm. Sunsets at 9. Great weather here.

Chad Vader, dayshift manager at some supermarket, part 1.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Just had the model sign the release

Now I need to publish it before she reneges....

More Fiona Fotos

Monday, July 17, 2006

Jellyfish Lake - Palau

Watch the video
Swimming with jellyfish Aug 2004. Music by MMW

Some of you have seen this footage before. Here's the short version.
Though it's only Monday I recommend getting buzzed before viewing.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Congratulations Dalton Lynch and the Kingwood Colts!

My nephew's team, the Kingwood Colts, just won the USSSA Coach Pitch World Series for 8 year-olds and under at Lake Charles, Louisiana. They had a perfect series in a double-elimination tournament, twice beating the home team. Dalton is on the second row, first one on the right.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I found all my camera stuff. Here's a photo of Fiona taken today. As you can see, she gets angry when she is woken from her nap.


Thursday, July 13, 2006


Just the way you like 'em, Kevlar.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

CN Tower, Who knew it was so tall?


Tapei 101 508 metres ??? Sears Tower 526 metres?? CN tower 553 metres

CN tower (antenna king) is billed as Canada's wonder of the world.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


Lately Fiona has been pointing to any male in photos and saying "Daddy."

Being mis-identified as Patrick Stewart is bad enough, but calling me Kim Jong-Il is beyond the pale.

Buddy Holly Days

All the Buddy Holly talk got me to thinking about the first time I met JW. It was back in the summer of '98 and I'd just arrived. I met Petra, Tahoe Tom and Stinky Will the same day and we all went up into the hills outside Changhua to drink beer and play hacky-sack by some feng-shui placed furniture overlooking some dense puckerbrush. Tenn Jeff was there too. Remember him? I asked John where he was from and when he said Lubbock, I replied, "Oh, the home of Buddy Holly!" I recall he looked surprised and nodded, "That's right. Goddammit, Pey-tra, yall hear that? Wow man! Nice to meet ya!" I don't recall what was said when I told him I was from New Brunswick.
Anyway, we got to talking about Buddy and John told me about the Buddy Holly-day or Buddy Holly Days that are celebrated every year in Lubbock in honor of his memory.
I thought that was a pretty cool idea and we drank some more beer. Later, John complimented me on the wearing of my ball cap under my motorcycle helmet, "That's very Taiwanese of you, Ryan." I later realized that JW doesn't think much about the way Taiwanese drive scooters. What are the 3 peeves? Knee-knockin', elbow-tuckin', foot-draggin' somethin' somethin'?
So when is Buddy Holly Day anyway? I've never been to Lubbock but summertime seems like as good a time as any to do it. Is there a parade? Buddy impersonators?

*My mother always had Buddy's greatest hits on cassette in her cars throughout the 70s and 80s. My fav was "Oh Boy". Looked for it on the tube but the sound is off a second or two so here's a nice short version of "That'll be the Day".

Short Road trip

Took the fam around the cape. Kaia doesn't like my driving... Later in the week I plan to hit a wild life park. Wife keeps bugging me.. But Where are the deer?.. and what does please do not litter mean?

Monday, July 10, 2006

Baseball 101

-Take the Quiz- 50 questions - the early years, deadball era, golden age etc. til present. Some tough ones, some gimmees. I got a 31 but forgot to answer a few. I got mouse problems you see. Is that World Cup thing over yet?

Dixie Chickens

Lubbock is a deep-pockets contributor to Texas music, a fact that many inside and outside of Texas are not aware of. Austin bills itself as The Live Music Capital of the Multiverse, but the musicians must come from somewhere, and many come from Lubbock and West Texas - Amarillo, Littlefield, Levelland, Wink, Turkey, Brownfield and Monahans to name a few. All are part of this distinct style that is bred from, not led by, passion. I'm sure there are many native Austin musicians, but, except for The Uranium Savages, none come to mind.

Texas music is about Texas places, food, women, drinking, desolation, storms, trains, cowboys, in-laws and outlaws and of course, Texas music. Like its culinary kin, barbecue, Texas music is the product of a keen choice of ingredients; processes both regimented and inspired and, variety. Variety - the crux of originality and freshness. Like hot sauce, picante, salsa and pico de gallo - kissin' cousins providing a prodigious palate-ial passel of pickins for our pleasure - variety continually sparks our synapses and stimulates our senses. Pigeon-hole Joe Ely for me and I'll buy you a case.

On this note, I will quickly deal with the Dixie Chicks. There has been a bit of a to-do concerning them - one that has gone on too long and probably should be referred to the student council for adjudication. My concern has less to do with their politics than their music. Therefore, I will give a brief and comprehensive summary of events.

Natalie Maines was born and grew up in Lubbock. Her father , Lloyd, is a steel guitar wonder as well as successful producer. Her uncles had one of the most successful bands in the Hub City area for years. The Chicks became successful, Natalie said something. People were offended. She was offended that people were offended. Daddy didn't like Lubbock anymore because some Lubbockites were offended. Then she offended again both in print and song and it began all again. I really don't care about all of this. The offended parties should just meet in Dirt Square after school and settle once and for all so we can bitch about something important like water-rate hikes. Seems to me that too many celebs don't remember the Entertainment Prime Directive: Entertainment pacifies our souls - Infotainment tries pacifists' souls. So, when they (Natalie) state - I hear they hate me now. Just like they hated you (talking about Buddy Holly), Maybe when I'm dead and gone I'm gonna get a statue too - they have sorely tried and taxed my soul. Their one-two punch of a lie (Lubbock hating Holly) and a bucketful of self-aggrandizement begs for a visit from a member of BWBA/BWSA.

So, what's it all about, Senor Alfie? Nothing other than these ladies have diverted the musical spotlight away from musicians and onto themselves. The Chicks just are not Texas music. They have the ingredients, but nothing else. Maybe they used to have the rest, or maybe they never had them. The bottom line is that they are musical amputees and should consider moving to the candy-pop-country city of Nashville to pose and opine in.

Computer willing, a good introduction into Texas music via Lubbock musicians will be coming soon.

Canada is great.

The weather here has been perfect. I am having a wonderful time making the rounds.

* Walmart in town.
* Sobey's is Canada's second largest supermarket chain
* McCains is the world's largest frozen foods distributer
* 400 fine for not yeilding to a pedestrain in a cross-walk area
* 110 fine for not having a kid under 8 in a safety car seat.
* Drinking and driving ZERO tolerance.
*( more penalities, fines, laws, lines on the street, helmets... I have to pass a course to stick a 1 hp outboard on the canoe.. Motor boat operators license (WOW)
* Beer on air canada is advertised for sale at 5 dollars US or 5 dollars CDN
* Every shop I have been in accepts USD
* Nova Scotains talk to me like we are all in one big happy place, everyone is friendly .
* Fort McMurray Alberta, BIG MONEY, lots of jobs, drugs, people(20% female pop.)
* There are some funny TV commericals ( I've watched 20 minutes of tv this week)
I'll drum up some pictures later.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Get screwed in NS

A Canadian named Odie sent this to me.

A pretty, young, woman in Nova Scotia was so depressed that she
decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She
went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when
handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. We're off to
Hawaii in the morning. If you like, I can stow you away on my ship.
I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her waist and added, "I'll keep you
happy, and you'll keep me happy." The brunette nodded. What did she
have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Hawaii would give her life new

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in the bowels of the ship.
From then on, he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit
every night, and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later,
she was discovered by the Captain during a routine inspection.
What are you doing here?" he asked. "I have an arrangement with
one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Hawaii,
and in return he's screwing me." "

He certainly is," said the Captain.

"This is the Dartmouth ferry."

Thursday, July 06, 2006



Canadian Ramblings

Well, after hearing Intellectual John's ultimatum for a better output, I sat thinking of what exactly to write about.. Nothing at all came to mind so I have decided to write about one of my all time favorite topics........ ME!!!! Most of you are gunning for that arrow key to scrolll through this which is more than understandable... Well, where to begin ?? I am living in Barrie, Ontario by myself of course in a bachelor pad, it by far doesnt compare to those in Taiwan , but none the less I am enjoying the dim lighting , the carpeted floors , the four element plus oven range , the washing machine and dryer and of course how could i forget the bath tub that enables you to actually lye down ...... As for my career I am working at a plastics Injection company, I of course am in the factory which is both male and female , we manufacture parts for the automotive industry... Not the most stimualting of work but it pays well, full benefits and keeps me occupied between the hours of 11 pm to 7 am..... It is not a career but for now it is a means by which to pay bills, bank money and leave my days free to ponder what it is exactly I want to do with my life.. There is no despair for many of us still dont know that... Socially I have been keeping busy , many a trip to Toronto to visit my Corporate Attorney brother who at the age of 32 has become a partner.. He is the go getter in the family it would seem... I have been to see Pearl Jam, Tool and tried desperately to get into Much Music to see Paris Hilton but she eluded me once again. Thats NOT Hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am wooing a young lady at the moment and when I say young I mean 19 , heheheh ahem where was I .. Plans for school in the future are still up in the air , I have no idea what I want to take and I am not going to let my brother spend the money if I am not 100% as to what to take (um , i mean me pay the money, yes that will do) I have two cats now , one goes by the name of Whisky , and the other a delightful orange and white blend aptly named Mochafrappachino, I see them as a warm up for kids, im doing quite well, they are spoiled little bastards. Thats really all in my life as of now, I suppose now I will jump to my rap on sports.. First off the Oilers made a gallant effort , even though they put out my beloved Red Wings I still chose to support them.. But really who cares about hockey.. It is almost time for another football season and my prediction is this .......EAGLES EAGLES and EAGLES, and in regards to Fantasy I will win this season and that is a guarantee.. I hope everybody is alive and well and enjoying themselves and keeping each other sane ... I miss all of you , and hopefully next Chinese New Year we can organize some sort of debauchery in some strange land..... For now I bid you all a fond adieu !!!!!! Frenchie

Henry on the Er Hu - part II

Henry finishes what he started....

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Advice for Canadians returning from Taiwan

Please do not urinate on the National War Memorial on Canada Day. Or sit on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. During the rest of the year, it's okay though.

Does the photo look like anyone we know?

UPDATE: For some contrast, check out these rules and procedures:

"Then you enter the palace proper, and walk the length of a very large hall, at the end of which there is a statue of Kim Il Sung, a little smaller than the one outside the Revolution Museum, against a beautifully lit pastel coloured backdrop, with soft music playing. I was advised that I should pause in front of the statue, and look somber, but not bow at that point. However, my guide said “If you feel it is necessary to wipe a tear from your eye, that is permissible”.

After standing before the statue, visitors are then led into the darkened hall where Kim Il Sung lies in state. The North Koreans have done a great job of embalming their eternal president. He looks like he is just sleeping. As the guards direct the line of visitors to make a complete circuit of the coffin, you are required to bow three times, once on each side and once at the bottom. The hall is very quiet, but you can hear the sounds of some of the women visitors sobbing (not the foreigners, the North Korean women that is) and as you emerge, most of the Korean women will be wiping tears from their eyes."

Sunday, July 02, 2006

J-Hole Wisdom

oh mighty one, lead us from this debacle.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

A list

In celebration of Canada Day, the 139th Birthday of the best country on the planet, here is a list of some of my favourite (notice the u in favourite), cool Canadianers, in no particular order.

Donald Sutherland
Wayne Gretzky
Elisha Cuthbert
Mike Myers
Jim Carrey
Pamela Anderson
Neil Young
The Tragically Hip
Don Cherry
Trey Michael Worden

Hope it was a great day for all Canucks.

what's a canadian?

more John Candy on SCTV

see what's on CBC this fall...

Garth and Gord and Fiona and Alice

An SCTV take off on the classic Canadian film "Goin' Down The Road". Pt I.

Starring John Candy...