Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Hole lot a sinnin goin on......
but it is hump day, so it's ok.



I figure everyone needs something to motivate them on Humpday.

"Honey, I'm going to see a football game with the guys..."

Last night D-wayne said next week was Philly at New York...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Texas Police Very Prescient

Now we know why they stopped the J-hole from trying to steal branches from the park to make an Indian sweat lodge.

They weren't being dicks. They were saving lives.

No wonder that was a felony offense.

p.s. Jhole, did one of those cops look like Jean-Claude Van Damne?


China just got a big break on its Carbon Bill

Apparently, we should eat our dogs because they can create a carbon footprint as large as driving a Toyota Land Cruiser around. (Ed. - next time use Land Rover for the doggy pun.)

Cantonese people are eager to start selling offsets to angst-ridden German utility executives.

"Send us your beloved hundchen and we will give you an official carbon offset certificate along with a tasteful photo of the banquet platter."

p.s. Should it be "Carbon Pawprint?"

p.s.s. Eskimo with a sled team is equivalent of driving like 12 cars at once.

p.s.s.s. That crazy cat lady owns like 50 cars!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Funeral Update

I am only doing this because I need closure. I know, its boring and creepy.

Last night they erected a massive tent outside the normal funeral area, blocking half the street. (This is right next to my local 7-11, which is maybe why I am paying such close attention.)

Today the professional monks came and did their chanting and bell ringing. Very nice.

It should be over soon. The stacks of Mr. Brown Coffee and Heysong are on the tables.

I asked some coworkers about the length of these things, and they said its due to choosing an auspicious date. So maybe that's why it is an especially long funeral. You get a long dry spell of bad days and they have to hold off on the ceremonies.

Now, my wife chose a C-section birth for our child because that way the date of birth would be certain to be an auspicious date rather than taking your chances with a natural birth.

I wonder if elective euthanasia would become popular with Chinese culture for similar reasons?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Funeral still there. No chanting.

But jackhammers are now going on full force - ahhhh, back to normality.

I also have noticed that every morning there is some weirdly muffled music with a catchy fast beat being played in the environs of my mancave. I can sort of feel it more than hear it.

Today I figured it out. There is a printer a couple of doors down. Its their massive 4 color process printer thumping out the beat. Or I am hungover and its my head throbbing.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Question about Buddhist Funeral

Do they normally keep going on for weeks?

I swear I have never seen one last for more than a week or so.

This one by my house has been there for 2 weeks + now.

The chanting has stopped though.

Oh, but then a Buddhist sound truck came by this morning to make sure I got my daily ration of Buddhist chanting.

I really don't mind this, except it clashes with the idyllic Buddhism in my mind...silent meditation in a mountain temple...maybe the occasional deep "BONG" of a bell ringing.

I also don't like those "GO VEG. SAVE THE PLANET" bumper stickers.

We all know that the diet best suited to saving the most animals actually is a beef, dairy, and vegetable diet.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

G u i l i n

Not a bad rainy day vacation........


Where have you gone Captain Lou?

Captain Lou Albano has shocked the world once again. The rubber band ornamenting, Cyndi Lauper siring heavyweight has become the first wrestler to die of natural causes since Gorgeous George. Small obit available here.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Re: 2012

I've got some students who are refusing to do any work because of coming apocalypse in 2012.

I'm thinking about showing some kind of documentary that offers a balanced overview of the science (or lack thereof) behind it. Any recommendations?

That trailer's not gonna cut it.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Transporter 10

More than meets the eye......


Friday, October 09, 2009

A Wedding and Poker Game

My pal Dwayne is having his Taiwan wedding on Sunday afternoon.. Then he will open up FM for drinks. I will be directing people to tables, Yipee! I think Monday morning is going to hurt. Wanna crash a wedding party?
Saturday Scream'n Steve is hosting a 500 Hold'em Tournament. 500 to start. In the event you go all-in on the first hand with an ace jack, you can pay again and re-start your evening.

M P H M a l a y

Did You Know?

  • There are 407 flights per week flying on small aircraft from MPH.
  • There are 4 airlines operating out of MPH.
  • Over 21,862 passengers can travel out of MPH every week.
  • The smallest commercial aircraft flying out of MPH is a L4T with 19 seats.
  • MPH connects with 3 cities nonstop.
  • The largest aircraft flying out of MPH is a 146 with 83 seats.
  • The longest flight from MPH is 244 miles.
  • There are over 407 domestic flights per week from MPH.


Thursday, October 08, 2009

Mom & Pop


Red Willy reunion........


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Don't worry about the economy or Iran

Looks like we will have bigger problems in 2012.

The Tonka XXII issue, vol 21

Extreme Tonka...


Monday, October 05, 2009

Canadian Catholics

Is this what happened to Kevlar?

Double Ten

Double Ten is coming up. I am expecting to see the hot new weapons of the ROC armed forces on parade. Here is a taste of what they have...

A day off

Been busy recently writing country songs for a Paint Your Wagon-inspired Taiwanese musical. But, now I have a bit more free time to clean out all my notes and clippings from the papers that have been stuffing the storage area in my scooter. Writing songs is a time-consuming and thirsty business. However, it's never too time intensive to stop reading The China Post - for even one day!

Why, just this Saturday, there was an unattributed photo and mini article on Crocs-style plastic sandals ( The article has since been traced to the Consumers' Foundation in Taiwan). An article so important that it might just save our own Esquire's Willie. 40% of the Crocs rip-offs contain excessive plasticizers which may lead to infertility and feminization in boys. As for all your latex product purchase, quality does matter.

Brands that contain some unsafe models are: Rooster, Ja Her Fang and RegentA. Shoes from Crocs, Adidas and Sparkle are okay, though I suspect Sparkle doesn't need the extra plasticizers to get Little Jimmy started on Sea Breezes.

下 一 項
How do you know an article is worth reading? Five words - The China Post news staff. Not only did the article's title Drunken husband kills virago wife send me to the dictionary, but the staff furthered my education in unbiased, objective reporting: The wife was a heavy shrew. Well, of course. It's on her ID card. Mrs. Lin burst into the dining room, shouting at her midget husband for drinking too much.
If you will excuse me now, I am off for coffee and The China Post.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Right in my Backyard!

Opened the newspaper this morning.
Bob Dylan is coming to Kitchener, Ontario.
I'm pretty pumped. Tickets go on Sale Friday.

I went to the Bob Dylan web page, pre-order. I'm now sitting with four tickets!

I have only started to get into Dylan recently. Deano passed on the album Modern Times which I think is pretty good. One thing led to another and I now have several Dylan albums on the ipod including highway 61 rev, Time out of Mind (produced by Lanois) and of course Biograph 1995. I'm really into the Dylan Blues!

When MJ died, I wasn't really all that upset. But I do believe he was one of the most influential artists of our time. I believe the same of Dylan and can't wait to see him in my backyard.