HP IV: Lutger the German

Lutger loves beer. So does John. So do a lot of people. The following discussion took place some years ago at the New York Pub in the heart of Changhua city. It began with what was a seemingly harmless hypothetical question from John...

J: So, Lutger, if you were going to get a tattoo, what would you get?
L: I would not get a tattoo.
J: Yeah, but if you were to get one...
L: But I would never do that.
J: Supposing you decided one day that you wanted a tattoo, what would it be?
L: That would never happen.
J: What if you were drinking with some friends and ended up in a tattoo parlor with all kinds of images on the walls, what would you get? An eagle, a motorbike...
L: I would get nothing.
J: Come on, for fun. I understand you don't want one, but what would you get if you got one?
L: I cannot say.
J: Why not?
L: It would never happen.
J: But if it happened, what would you get?
L: I get nothing. It would not happen.
J: (getting exasperated) OK, let's say that eight large men force you into a chair and say you are getting a tattoo whether you like it or not and you must choose one of the tattoos on the wall.
L: Why would they do that?
J: I don't know, just because.
L: There must be some reason. It makes no sense.
J: You're tied down to the chair and you can't leave until you get a tattoo. You gotta choose one.
L: I do not choose.
J: But you might as well choose something cool. Something you can live with.
L: I choose nothing.
J: But you must!
L: Why must I? I do not choose. You choose for me.
J: But they or I might choose something really stupid. You should at least choose something you may remotely want.
L: No. How can I choose a tattoo when I don't want one?
J: You're not making sense!
L: I do not choose. Bah! We drink! I am Lutger!
J: (flummoxed as all hell)

If I recall correctly, JW agreed to drink but never again asked a German engineer a hypothetical question. I could be wrong of course as my wire tap at PJ's has recently fizzled.
Some say this is what made JW pack up and move to Taichung.