Canada v. Taiwan

Here are yesterday's box scores. Today is an off day.

I was at the Canada - Taiwan game last night in Taichung.

It was one of the best live baseball games I've ever seen.

Of course, it was all the sweeter because Canada won.

It was packed tight. And it was loud. Real loud.

Our seats were in the upper deck right behind home plate. Great view of the field.

Here's a quick run down.

Top 1 - Canada bats. We go down in order.

Bottom 1 - With men on first and third, our shortstop throws away a sure DP. TW scores 2 unearned runs. 2-0 TW.

Top 2 - 2 bunt singles, a sacrifice and a couple hits tie it up. 2-2.

Scoreless through the 3rd and 4th. Both pitchers settle in a bit. We go for a beer run and a smoke.

Top 5 - A hard slide into second breaks up a Taiwan DP and Stubby Clapp scores. 3-2 Canada.

Top 6 - Nicolas Weglarz launches a laser beam over the right field fence. 4-2 Canada.

It gets almost quiet in the place, but not really. We celebrate wildly.

Bottom 6 - The real drama starts. The wave circles the park a couple of times. Canada quickly gets 2 out. Shortstop Lin Chi Sheng singles off our 3rd baseman's glove. Chang Chi Hsien lines one off our shortstop's glove. 1st and 2nd. Luo Kuo-hui drives a 3-1 pitch over the right centre field wall. Shit. The stadium erupts. 5-4 Taiwan.

I actually had my camera rolling for that homer and caught some of the initial madness on digital. I stopped filming pretty quickly. Don't know why. I think I was in shock. Or annoyed. Definitely drunk by this time. It happened so fast.

Here's 8 seconds of it...

Luo's 3 run shot, crowd goes nuts
Uploaded by ryanator

I snap out of it for minute and take these 12 seconds of a happy Taiwanese crowd...

Taiwan Baseball Fans
Uploaded by ryanator

Top 8 - Still 5-4 Taiwan. Taiwan starter Ni gets lifted with 2 out in the 8th. Reliever gives up a single to Jimmy Van Ostrand. Walks Weglarz. Up comes Emerson Frostad to pinch hit. We're on our feet. Frostad lines a hard liner into shallow right. For some reason the Canadian third base coach sends Van Ostrand. The throw from right field beat the runner easily and he bowls over the catcher with an excellent hit, trying to dislodge the ball. Third Out. Shit. Crowd goes crazy. The catcher, Yeh, I think, then spikes the ball at the feet of Van Ostrand as he walks back to the dugout. Van Ostrand takes issue with this. There are words. The Taiwanese manager emerges pointing a finger at someone. Benches clear. There's pushing and shoving. Some assholes in the crowd start throwing bottles on the field. The bottles are being thrown deliberately at the Canadian players and bench. There seems to be the impression throughout the crowd that the hit on the catcher was out of line. I don't think it was. (And I've just now watched the replay on TV. It wasn't.) "THAT'S BASEBALL!" we shout. My throat is killing me. I curse a blue streak in the general direction of the bottle throwers. "THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!" god we're worked up. Police are deployed throughout the stadium and the game is delayed at least 20 minutes.

I'd like to send out a big Ni Howdy Fuck You to those assholes who threw shit on the field last night. You're a disgrace to your country and the game of baseball.

Interestingly, the replay on TV tonight didn't show any of the melee and none of the bottles being thrown on the field.

Top 9 - With 2 out and nobody on Stubby Clapp gets an infield hit on a close play at first. There's hope. Wild pitch. Oh baby. Stubby's on second. Mike Saunders singles to right. Stubby rounds third and slides. Safe! Ohhh BABY! Yeah! We freak out. My throat is on fire. 5-5. Stubby does some acrobatic flips on the way to the dugout. He's mobbed by his teammates. The crowd is stunned and gets quiet for a few minutes before the side is retired.

Nothing across for the Taiwanese in the last half of the 9th.

Top 10 - We get a lead off single followed by a double to the gap in right centre. We score. 6-5 Canada. We get a third hit and actually have 1st and 3rd with nobody out but can't push any more across.

Bottom 10 - Taiwan gets 2 hits and 2 men on before grounding into a game ending double play. We go nuts. We can't believe it. I am so happy I hug Dwayne and rub his belly. We stagger out. Dwayne is wearing a Canadian flag as a cape.

We talk to a lot of Taiwanese after the game. A lot of them want to take Dwayne's picture. They shake our hands and say congrats, good game. Excellent sportsmanship shown. All of them apologize for the behavior of the bottle hoodlums and want us to know that is not representative of the majority of Taiwanese.

Fantastic.

Canada v. Korea Thursday night in Taichung.

See you there.

Announcements

Congratulations to our man Dean for getting married on Friday afternoon.

We here at Ni Howdy wish him and Elena all the best.

Also, I am nominating Dean Baseball Fan of the Season for spending his entire honeymoon/wedding weekend at the ballpark (Taichung and Dou Liu, 4 games total) drinking beer with his buddies while his new bride worked.

Way to go, Deano.



*EDIT 3/11 - Dean's wife's name is Helena, not Elena as written above. Damn silent H's.

More Box Scores

I'm a poor correspondent.
Here's a link to Saturday's box scores. We caught Canada's drubbing of the Saffies but left early cause some guy in the press box threw a ball back into the crowd and hit the Sandstress on the head. She was nursing Burl at the time. She's fine. Indignant but fine. Thankfully it didn't hit little Burly or the other 2 babies sitting there with their mothers.

Korea smoked the Aussies. No, eviscerated would be a better description. It was painful. And the Korean section was really noisy about it too. Damn those plastic bats. They had hot cheerleaders though.

Here are Sunday's box scores. The Krauts gave CT a run and only lost 2 - 0. I watched that game on TV cause I couldn't find the Canada - Australia game anywhere. They showed a replay later but only after I already knew the score. I knew that OZ wasn't as bad as the Koreans made them look on Saturday night. Canada fell 10 - 5. Sad news. I received a couple updates from Deano in Dou Liu. There sure wern't many people there...

Tonight Canada plays CT. I'm headin out there assuming the rain hold off.
CT and Korea are both 3-0. Canada, OZ are at 2-1. Complete standings here.

March 7th IBAF Box Scores

Canada beat Mexico in a barnburner, CT routed the Spaniards, OZ beat Germany, Korea shut out the Saffies.

Baseball Coming 7th- 14th

Baseball Saturday afternoon at the intercontinental stadium in Taichung.

Canada vs. South Africa at 12:30.

Dwayne and I are taking out families up for the game. Come join us!

Hope to return later in the evening for the Korea - Australia match up.

John Kuhel and his minions from Tainan will be there.

Sunday baseball has Canada vs. Australia at 12:30 in Dou Liu.

Dou Liu is 45 minutes south of Taichung on the 3, I think.

Word is that ballpark may be the nicest in Taiwan.



I know Dwayne and Dean are planning to go.

I may talk the fam into a Sunday drive as well.

Korea v. Mexico at 6:30 same ballpark.

Monday night in Taichung Canada v. Chinese Taipei.

Dwayne and I already have tix. Deano's coming too and another feller.

They supposedly have outfield bleachers now installed at the intercontinental stadium so it'll no doubt be easier to just show up to the host games and get a seat.

Canada v. Korea 6:30 Thursday the 13th in the Chung too.

Top 3 teams advance to the Olympics in Beijing.

See yous at the ball park

The Tonka VIII issue, vol 7

Tha front end loader issue.........

P a r i s

Not Texas!
Watch ur step.......

L A X L o s A n g e l e s

Did You Know?

• There are 1,585 flights per week flying on small aircraft from LAX.
• There are over 4,502 domestic flights per week from LAX.
• There are over 2,643 long haul flights per week from LAX.
• There are 59 airlines operating out of LAX.

56 airlines daily.........

It's a beautiful day so far and before I go and meet Mr. Bean at the mom & pop ( where I can run a tab ) for a frosty adult beverage or two, I'll leave with one congratulatory remark, a question and a suggestion.

• Congratulations to the Red Raiders. After getting walloped by A&M by 44 points, they beat the Teasippers, 83-80, in Lubbock. Yes, they are probably going to be watching the tournament on TV, but it was a good win. New coach Pat Knight has evidently watched Mr. Woodcock recently.
• Beer Factory? On Saturday, huh? Well, I was there at the scheduled time and failed to see any co-drinkers. D-Wayne, i am there ?
• Five links that I think are worth your time to view. Two are about the Laffer Curve. It includes both conservative and liberal misconceptions. Another two are about income disparity in the U.S. The final one is part of the Drew Carey Project for reason.tv.

Laffer Curve Part I (video)

Laffer Curve Part II (video)

The Upside of Income Inequality (article by a Nobel Prize and the Clark Prize winners)

You Are What You Spend ( NY Times Op-Ed from two guys at the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank)

Education Revolt in Watts (reason.tv video)

What's goin' on.

Well, it's been a little over a month since I stepped out from behind the bar, and all is good. More time with the family, which is great. And having weekends off is cool, but I do miss seeing everybody on a regular basis. And paying for beer is not pleasant at all. The last night at FuBar was a heck of a party. The beer was flowing, people were happy and my dad was hammered and trying to pick up the local talent. After meeting my dad, people have a better understanding of why I am like I am. Thanks to all for making my two years as Laoban extremely enjoyable.

We went to Taipei on Thursday to get my passport and decided to go to the zoo. It wasn't too cold and the place was very busy.


in the penguin house

spanking the monkey, literally

near one of the food stands

Trey has reached a critical point in his development where he needs to know all. So he asks "Why?" All the freakin' time. "Why?" I tell him to go ask his A-Ma. She knows everything.

Wives sure are funny sometimes. I got a text message from Dino regarding the bash at the beer factory and was trying to figure out a way to broach the subject with Winnie (seeing as everytime I go there, somebody spikes the beer). And she mentioned it to me. Even asked if I needed any money!! Glory Glory! Praise Jebus!

Here's a HOWIGATI.

And the MVP.



one for the Grand Poobah

git yer, uh, guns up!

Dino's Road Trip

Saturday Taiwan Brewery.
Possible 2 to 6pm afternoon.
Debut of three new micro brews.
Could be one hell of a debriefing.

S h a n g h a i

The Bund........


Control

The Tonka VII issue, vol 6

TONKA TUG

Tuggin ur way 2 a better boyhood...

Eighty6

We're being nice for a day

Do this. Find one or more actual policy statement for each of the presidential candidates that you agree with. Let's omit the wiseassing this one time. Also, no slogans or aspirations. See if you can do it. I took mine from the candidates' own web sites.

Hillary - Eliminate No Child Left Behind

Obama - Cut pork barrel spending. He starts with a concrete proposal and then gets a little vague: Obama will slash earmarks to no greater than year 2001 levels and ensure all spending decisions are open to the public. His actual record is not bad. Most or all of his earmarks were for non-profit organizations. Hillary clobbered him with her earmarks. McCain had zero.

McCain - Cut the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%. Not low enough for my tastes, but a step in the right direction. Ireland, anybody? 12.5%. Also, Taiwan's cabinet has just announced its plans to lower their rate from 25% to 17.5%, making it the second-lowest in the world.

Update - Thanks Red A. 17.5% is not the second lowest rate anymore.

Lantern Festival

The Rat is back.
The fireworks were terrific. I have never seen amazing horizontal fireworks. I took three pictures. Everyone and his dog had a camera running around. Most of these people seem to be taking video with their digital camera, so I guess you could look on youtube. I went to the weshin amphitheatre park. I didn't seen many lanterns. Apparently the show is at Taichung park.
I don't think I have ever been in such a large park with hordes of people. It was a family event but it was overrun by teenagers and Mickey Mouse lanterns.
I plan to go again some quieter night.

Two Strange Things at Costco Today

1. New Balance running shoes Made in the USA...on sale in Taichung, Taiwan, shoe manufacturing capital of the world. How the hell any shoe factory remains in the USA is beyond me. I'd almost be scared to buy the shoe. It's like the French whiskey that was making the rounds at Chinese weddings for a while. (A word of advice, don't drink French whiskey.)

2. Some foreigner with a long pony tail wearing a beret. Maybe he's a wannabe Che kind of guy, but he was not wearing it at a rakish angle, but straight on, so he looked completely foolish. I mean, berets are supposed to be at an angle, right? Google seems to confirm this. Three pages of images and no one is wearing it completely horizontal.

Bonus Factoid: When I lived in Indonesia they sold a very cheap vodka called Mansion House vodka. List of ingredients was: Alcohol, water, vodka concentrate.

Microdiscectomy

After two months of severe pain (and moderate pain since last March), I have given in. This Friday I will be having back surgery. I have tried Chinese medicine, Acupuncture, Homeopathy, Steroids, Epidural Steroid injections, Physical Therapy, Walking laps in a pool, all to no avail. So now I go under the knife to remove the disc at L5S1 from my sciatic nerve sheath and release the pressure which has been causing the inflammation which has kept me more or less bed ridden since Christmas. Read all about the procedure here and think of me at the Friday night poker game. I will be under the knife at 10AM, which translates to midnight on the Rock.

Regret

As most readers know, I'm not much of a photo guy -- I haven't owned a camera since I lost my Kodak Disc (6th Grade?). However, when I was reading a story about the frontier town of Ade, Chad some regret took hold. I spent four days there camped on the Sudanese border waiting to get across back in 2003. Now all the people I met there are living a much different hell than I can imagine. I wish I had some photos of their faces from the days of relative tranquility. More importantly, I wish we'd give some of the $9 billion we spend monthly in Iraq to them.

I specifically remember an elderly lady whose sole occupation in Ade was to sell the equivalent of Soul Glow to a people who keep their hair short. She must have won the lottery on this gel; she had boxes of it, all the same brand. Her store sold nothing else, and to be honest I don't know how she got by just selling that. But she was nice and we shared beans and smiled at each other. Where is she now? Where is my photo of her?

Olympic Baseball Qualifying Tournament in Taiwan

Here is the schedule for the tournament. Games will be played in Taichung at the Intercontinental stadium and in Dou Liou (斗六) at the 朱丹灣 stadium. Yes, that Dou Liou in Yunlin county, south of Changhua county. The city web site lists the population at 103,00 and is known to me as the place I never thought about visiting. If you would like to attend the games, they do have a nice stadium. My co-worker told me that was why Dou Liou was chosen. It seats 15,000 and looks nice, clean and modern. Here is the web site with pictures, address and stats (Chinese only).

Tickets - I have found two ways to purchase tickets. Well, I found my friendly, reliable co-worker Johnny and had him find it. Nevertheless, you can purchase online at this site. It lists all the games and lets you start ordering your tickets with a click. It is in Chinese only. Be sure to read it carefully. Johnny tells me the site says that after you order you must wait 2 to 3 days for their confirmation.

The other way is to go to 7-11 and use the ibon machine. This is a new machine only at 7-11 that allows you to print, download pics, ringtones and other things, scan, pay bills and fines, reserve tickets for sports, travel and concerts and buy basic car and motorcycle insurance.

Kosovo's Flag

Looks like someone ripped a hole in it. I have to say Taiwan's shape is far more aesthetically pleasing than Kosovo's. Maybe Kosovo should consider some cosmetic border surgery to look better? You know, cut some flab from the sides and add a bit of Serbia on top?

Some Place in China

It looks very beautiful.

Of course, the "five color pond" is created by different electroplating effluent being released.

or not.

Kim Jong Il Is Born

For Red A

GOOD Magazine: Kim Jong-il is Born
Uploaded by goodmagazine

I have conflicting dates on when this PSA originally aired, but it was in '69 or the early '70s. I was just a very young boy, about 6 or 7, when I saw it and it only took me a couple of viewings to learn the words and start singing along - not that I had any idea what I was singing about.

I only knew that I wanted some. After all, it was for everybody, and all the people looked so happy having it. Don't hog it all for yourselves. I don't know how or when I found out the true meaning of the ad, but it's stayed with me for almost 40 years. Neither do I know why I got to thinking about it again recently. Maybe it was Valentine's Day or maybe it was talking to some coworkers about their New Year's vacation to the Philippines.

Regardless, watch, sing along and substitute any of your favorite afflictions for theirs. What is the role of the young girl and the children in this ad? Brought to you by the Ad Council.

I just received a complaint

Dear Nihowdy,

Why hasn't anyone on your blog posted something about the Edison Chen sex photo scandal?

Sincerely,

Your readers

.............................................................

Dear Readers,

Thank you for your constructive criticism of Nihowdy's coverage of the Edison Chen sex photo scandal. Please find our replies below:

J-Hole: It was a bad day in the lunar calendar to have sexual relations, therefore I had to avoid the sex photos.

Kevlar: I was going to blog about those sex photos, but unfortunately my keyboard suffered some damage from repeated contact with sticky liquids.

P.I.M.P.: Sorry, its still snowing in Nunavut, so we can't access the smoke signal internet service.

Frenchie: Between pulling a double shift at the plant and mourning the Pats loss, I have no time to google for Edison Chen pics.

Bread: I am afraid of the lawsuits that would be forthcoming.

Esquire Willy: I only do airports and heavy machinery. Low and slow.

D-wayne: Northern Command. 4:20

Rye: Who cares about Hong Kong celebrity bullshit anyways. Wait, are the chicks hot?

Red-A: The wife just told me to download the pics and I have to figure out if any of them would be considered offensive by J-Hole's mom or AJ.

Hannibal: Do you know they have excellent microbrew in Colorado?

Wok 'n Roll

Wait for the singing.

Happy Birthday J-Hole

Insert suggestions for Valentine's Day gifts HERE...

A horoscope that tells it like it is

So. How was your Saturday on December 22?

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed - Unleashing The Tech

New game due out on Xbox, PlayStation and maybe other platforms this summer. Haven't gamed in years but looks good. Geek Boys - Karl, AJ - give a look and your opinion.

Here's a link to the official site with trailer.

Vanity Fair's tech review, yes Vanity Fair, reports this nice bit of info - In a particularly inspired casting choice, Matt Sloan, who is the voice of Darth Vader’s heavy-breathing, black-helmeted supermarket-manager brother in the popular YouTube parody Chad Vader, lends his pipes to the real deal.

Chinese New Year

Today's Itinerary

5:00 a.m. Tian Shang Sheng Mu Temple (Taoist temple)
5:45 a.m. Tsai Shen Temple (God of Money)
6:30 a.m. Tu Di Gong Temple (Land God)

Hey, but we beat all the traffic.

Happy Chinese New Year

Well, it's Day 1 of the New Year and I'm already breaking about 50% of the taboos for the New Year holiday according to The China Post's Must-Know List of Taboos for Chinese New Year.

New Year's Eve - I took their warning that everything must be cleaned by this day (including the eldery), especially when coupled with their first item that All brooms, brushes, dusters and dustpans must be put away to mean that no cleaning should be done on this day. I argued with my wife fervently, even showing her the article and quoting from it. She then doomed us by crumpling up the newspaper and throwing it outside on the porch - Trash is treated like treasure, and horded; it should not be taken out of the house. And then we cleaned.

Day 1 - It's early and I've already washed my hair. Looks like I'm in for (another) bad hair year. But on the plus side, I don't see myself killing any animals, giving away meat or eating gruel. No. The last two are pretty much a lock.

If you are not able to purchase or set off fireworks where you live, do what the Taiwanese government encourages you to do: Play their audio file of firecrackers popping. That's right. Firecrackers are dangerous, loud and they create a lot of trash. Play this file and they're only loud - if you have good speakers. The page is only in Chinese. If you must hear this, click on the above link and look for the blue box in the middle-left of the page. Next to it you will see two files with some Chinese characters. Number 1 is 35 minutes of continuous firecracker popping, accompanied with festive music. Number 2 is the same, without the music. 35 minutes of firecrackers. No bottle rockets, roman candles, twisters, or ufos. 35 minutes of listening to smoke bombs would be better.

Superbowl Monday Pics

The Joys of Winter

For many Canadians, winter is considered a dismal time of year. Days in and out of slushy weather, grey skies and temperatures so cold your nostrils will freeze together when you breath in. For some they call it the winter blues.
For me, I have learned to appreciate this kind of weather….for the time being. Today in Kitchener it’s been snowing like mad. I think the forecast has predicted 25cm of snow or more. I’m not sure how much it’s actually come down but I’m sure it’s reaching that mark. Big fluffy flakes of snow in slow motion, picturesque tree lines dabbled with streaks of white and cars driving at a snails pace. I was out shovelling my mother’s drive and while looking around it dawned on me. For the average working class citizen winter brings the blues (if you aren’t into your winter sports) however, for the average retiree winter is heaven.
Take my mother’s mate as an example. He’s retired and doesn’t have much to do. Of course my mother carefully prepares a list of things for him to do before she leaves for work. But as any man might confirm after a while they become tiresome. Unload the dishwasher, hang the shelves, clean out the basement, take out the garbage. The list is probably growing repetitive and tiring. But a predicted big dump of snow will light up Ken’s eyes. “It’s gonna be a big snow tomorrow boy” he’d say repetitively throughout the evening. “Have you seen the weather forecast? At least two feet!” and he’d wander around the house like a small kid waiting for Christmas morning.
The following morning I’d hear “I told you so! Look at it!” taking credit as if he were Nostradamus. Anyways, getting back to my point, I get home from work and start shovelling the little snow left around the cars on the drive and I see Ken all the way down the street with his snow blower. He’s done the sidewalk on either side of the street and is continuing to blow out our neighbour’s drive five houses down. LOVING IT!
The next thing you know our other neighbour gets home from work. I hear the deep purr of his ATV 4X4 and he comes ripping out of his driveway looking to plow away the scraps Ken has left over. He plows down the street towards Ken and I see them talking. This is what I believe they are saying.
K: Look at all this snow! Can you believe it?
N: It would have to happen on a Friday eh?
K: No shit, I’ve been out here all day! Got your drive plowed out just in time!
N: I tried to get home as soon as I could.
K: I knew it was gonna snow like hell eh? You remember last winter? I haven't seen snow like this since then.
N: I know! There was this one time it snowed so much…….
My neighbour sees and area across the street not quite fully plowed, roars away in his ATV and cleans it up as fast as he can. A frown comes over Ken’s face as if he hadn’t done a good enough job and motors his blower back to the house. I continue shovelling the little scraps of snow around the house thinking…..I can’t wait to get me one of them toys and I wonder who will wake up first.

A good screen grab of one of my favorite pieces of art, Grote Tandaanval, by Joop Westen Weide.

World Learner Chinese provides 15 minute audiocast Chinese lessons. The majority are basic level lessons - Buying a Bookcase, Do You Like Small Animals? , A Bit Swollen...

The Intermeditate lessons are a bit more, topical, I guess - A Mother's Postpartum Rest, Factories and Exhaust, Environmental Protection, Martial Artist and Have You "Been" Hit?

The dialogues are not as dry as the titles may suggest and a good deal better than most textbooks that I've seen. The dialogues for all levels are reletaviley short. Which I believe is good, as I will explain in a moment. There are three readings followed by a sentence-by-sentence parsing. Two instructors, one Taiwanese and one Western, explain tones, tone changes, vocabulary and it usage. In the intermediate lessons you get the added benefit of listening to the Taiwanese instructor explain these things in Chinese. So, actually, you are getting two short lessons in one. Memorization of dialogs can be helpful, but much more useful is listening to how native speakers describe and explain, much more valuable skills. What are you gonna do when you don't have the word that you want to use in your vocabulary? If you have the skills to do so, you explain it. If not, you ( like many students) say sorry and shut up.

I would recommend this site for learners up to the mid to mid-high intermediate level, if only to polish up some of your syntax and pronunciation. I mentioned that the dialogues were short. That's fine. We don't need to be overwhelmed. Language learning theory, according to Krashen, states that we need comprehensible input, i.e., input that is just a tad over our current level. Comprehension comes before production (speaking, writing) for every language learner , native languages included. Therefore the more input we process, the more that becomes available for output. Our passive skills, listening and reading, will always be greater than our productive skills so it is important to keep topping off the tank.

Bonus - Is Your Chinese Better Than an Australian Prime Minister's?

Here is Prime Minister Rudd speaking Mandarin in an interview. Even when the reporter uses English, he sticks to Mandarin. Click and scroll down to view. You could YouTube P.M. Rudd, but go to this site and look around.

Philipines

Ran into PJ and drinking beer from 2am to now 6 am. Off to Malapascua see some sharks.

Customs & Immigration Ramblings

So I was standing in line at Customs at the airport and the Taiwanese guy in front of me started bitching at the immigration officers that they should have opened more desks.

First off, he was already through customs.

Secondly, there were about three people in line for each desk. That is far, far better than anything you see in many other countries.

And, seriously, is it ever a good idea to pick a fight with customs and immigration in any country?

I can only guess that maybe he was a Citizen who was using our Foreigner line because it was shorter (usually the other way around) and they took issue with this, and he felt they should have had more Citizen lines.

Personally, I don't know why they have separate lines. Any ideas why they do that?

They should not have separate lines for each desk - instead they should use a single line that feeds into a bank of desks. This is how most banks now operate because it means customers no longer have to worry about "choosing the slow line."

My tip for clearing Hong Kong customs upon arrival used to be to avoid being in line behind the Nigerians, Pakistanis, or Filipinos, as they took forever to clear customs. Now I don't have to worry about feeling quasi-racist since there are no slower or faster lines anymore - just one big line. For departure, they still have single lines, but since you're leaving their Godforsaken polluted little ex-colony they don't care so much.

China now has feedback buttons at the immigration window, at least at Sha To Jiao. You can push Green, Yellow, or Red buttons depending on how satisfied you are. Watch out if you dare to push Red, they put a bullet through your brain and charge your family.

Saddest customs story ever that does not involve Frenchie:

I'm in line at Macao immigration, behind a family of Filipinos (all women and children.) Customs has those little bowls of candy out in front of the counters to show they care. One of the Filipino kids gets a piece of candy as they are being processed, and a Macao customs officer actually comes out and removes the candy bowl from our line. What a piece of shit.

Most useless book I have seen

A Vietnamese-Taiwanese language workbook. But the Taiwanese portion is all in romanized Taiwanese, which I have yet to meet a single Taiwanese who can understand.

Wait. I met one Taiwanese guy who could, a Christian. Because the Bible is translated to Taiwanese in that system.

I guess Linguistics professors in Taiwan need something to do for their research grants. I feel sorry for the Vietnamese mail-order bride who is trying to use this book to learn Taiwanese.

The Muppet Show!!!

Back in the day it seemed like John Denver was on the Muppet show every other week. This was his first performance on the Sunday evening variety show. I especially like the part where Kermit and Miss Piggy debate the relative merits of their homelands (swamps vs. pigsties). The site has a ton of shows besides the Muppets, so have a gander.

Weather

Weather is a funny thing. Normally, 24 degrees Fahrenheit is pretty chilly. However, an Arctic blast has left the great state of Montana struggling to reach 0 degrees for the better part of two weeks. Well, today we finally climbed out of our hole and reached 24 degrees. I went out in a t-shirt -- it felt like 24 degrees Celsius.

Last week columnist Gail Collins came up with a novel way to select an appropriate presidential candidate. Choose the person you would try to avoid standing next to in a long line at a supermarket. Great idea. That would be all of them except for Fred, and he's not even in it anymore. No, better would to see how each would handle the issue of long supermarket lines.

The Republicans

• McCain - Would propose some sort of multi-elongation bill mandating that supermarkets must have lines of varying length, including establishing and enforcing lines that reach out the door.
• Romney - Would promise to use his private sector skills to ensure that everyone had a checkout line for themselves. Like maybe some newfangled gadget that let's the customer do his own checking-out. Yeah that's it!
• Giuliani - Would require proof of fiscal responsibility and capability. Those that cannot will be expelled from the store and not allowed back in. Strict enforcement of the 10 Items or Less lane. Offenders will be expelled from the store and not allowed back in. Provide choice and quality access to other supermarkets, such as Wal-Mart with their automated self-checkout lanes.
• Huckabee - I have no idea and don't know how anyone could.
• Fred - Wouldn't do a thing. People don't like it, they will complain until the manager does something about it or go elsewhere

The Democrats

• Obama - Would implement policies, increase research, develop innovative approaches, reach out to both the patient and impatient and disburse $100 vouchers good at any supermarket. Failing that, he will ask you to bring real - and exact - change to the checkout line.
• Hillary - Would implement her comprehensive plan ( the only candidate with one ) to ensure that long lines never occur again. That, and $50 dollars more than whatever Obama promises.
• Edwards - All customers from Evil-Bad-Rich America ( $75,000 + ) would automatically line up at the back of the line and donate $500 to one customer in the line ahead of them from the Good-True-Not Rich America. It might not solve the line problem, but after a few years there would be true equality, with only a One-Long line America.

How many kids could you take in a fight.

Linked from my good buddy Peaky.
15

M a c a u

Fishermen from Fujian and farmers from Guangdong were the first known settlers in Macau, when it was known as Ou Mun, or "trading gate", because of its location at the mouth of the Pearl River downstream from Guangzhou (Canton). During ancient times port city was part of the Silk Road with ships loading here with silk for Rome.

86

The Tonka VI issue vol 5

Boat Tonka:)

Building a better boyhood

Control

C a o u t u n

Good food, drinks, music and paint ball:)


Would u believe

H o u j i e

I think this is where the Chinese "Back Street Boys" got started.......


123 Main Street

Voting and You (Americans) - caution, smoking in content

Voting and YOU!
Uploaded by declareyourself

Muslim Super Heroes (short report) - the 99

Weather in Vietnam

Its nice and warm here. And you can access blogger.

No airport pics. Sorry.

It's Alive

Well, I suppose its about time for a short synopsis as to the wherabouts and goings on in the wonderful world of Frenchie.. But first a few football predictions.. Its seems the obvious choice to pick the San Diego Chargers in a complete rout of the surprise Cinderella squadron from New England, but if being an Eagles fan has taught me anything , its that anything can happen, so I'm choosing to go against the norm and will take the New England Patriots in a surprise thrashing of the injury riddled Chargers!!! Now , on to the NFC.. Now, Im not sure if I speak for myself here, but I personally CANNOT handle six hours of Superbowl pregame listening to how great Brett Favre is. so for that reason alone, I choose, and BEG to the football gods that the football Giants from New York defeat the Packers at home... In Early December my brother and his wife had a baby girl Catherine Elizabeth, 6 pounds 9 ounces. My mother is thrilled to have her first legitimate grandchild!! I too am thrilled, she is absolutely adorable.. Apparantly she looks identical to my brother and I as young infants , so I advised her to enjoy her cuteness and loveability while she can. We all now what the future holds for her esthetically!! Work is going well, I am a supervisor at a large recycling and manufacturing plant, and have obtained both bobcat and forklift licenses, Blue collar has always been my way and apparantly will be for the future.. In the love department I have found the woman of my dreams and forsee a wedding in the year of 09. My task for this year is to figure out the best time for the "big question" I dont fear her answer because, well , really who could say no to this!!! Other than that , its all systems go as normal!! Our winter here has been surprisingly warm, perhaps Al Gore was onto something, although I wont make my decision until Michael Moore makes a documentary claiming the Bush Administration has something to do with the abnormal weather patterns!! Anyway that is all from me for now, as for all of you remaining in Taiwan I wish you all a Happy New Year and warm tidings.. For those of you who have departed and are living back wherever it is you do, the same regards are sent. And of course to Brettski, who im not sure has a computer out in the wilderness, God Bless ya!!!!

F U B A R

Thanks Wayne Wayne!

99

Going to the doctor and you want to do more than point and say 好 and 不好 ? Here's a decent site that has basic medical Chinese with traditional and simplified characters, pinyin romanization and translation. This is for doctors, so the information is in the form of a question. It is very easy to turn this into a statement even with the lowest level of Chinese. The terms can be found on the Yahoo dictionary link, but this site is grouped into ten topics with all information on one screen.

There are useful words and phrases for everyone here. For example:

D-Wayne - 看著我的 ____. kan4 zhe wo3 de _____
Karl - 我覺得房間在轉動 wo3 jue2 de fang2 jian1 zai4 zhuan3 dong4
Angie - 吞咽困難 tun1 yan1 kun4 nan2
Bread - 請脫衣服 qing3 tuo1 yi1 fu2 and 淋病 lin2 bing4

下一項

Time to click on a link. Don't be lazy, do it. This is a very good article about the Chinese trying to break into the US auto market at the Detroit Auto Show.

Surreal, Illegal Test Drive of Chinese Hybrid Through Cobo Arena

Listening to my wife and many other Taiwanese I spoke to, you would have thought that last Saturday's election triumph for the KMT was for the presidency and not the legislature. Their grievences were vague but intense and all had Chen ( President Chen ) as the common denominator. No matter that the pan-blue camp ( 泛藍營 ) of the KMT and PFP has had the legislative majority since Chen's first term. No matter that Chen was elected as president, not selected king, and had to deal with a hostile opposition. No, it was all Chen's fault. I asked my wife to make a list of three specific complaints she had and two expectiations she had for the new pan-blue legislative behemoth. I am still waiting.

Chen and the DPP were not saints, saviors or savants. They were, and are, politicians. Their tactlessness on many issues just increased the Taiwanese voters' tendency to view politics as a battle of personae and not issues.

Enter the Persona-to-be-in-Chief, the presidential frontrunner of the KMT, Ma Ying-jeou. On Thursday he asked the public to play the political futures market. For eight years of the presidency he will give Taiwan 100 years of peace and stability.

Always needing more number-titled policies ( easier to score at home), he unveiled his 3 Noes: no pursuit of unification, no Taiwanese independence and no use of force ( He doesn't like force, and you wouldn't like him if you force him to face the use of force - [I will] object to the use of force by either side of the Taiwan Strait to unilaterally change the status quo). Lobbing (unarmed) missiles across the strait doesn't count. He culminated by getting down to brass tacks by vowing to "uplift" and "upgrade" the nation's democracy. Now that, is a plan. Even if it doesn't have a number.

These remarks came from a speech in Taipei sponsored by the the New Taiwanese Foundation and the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute. I have not yet found any transcript or mention at either site. Here are reports from the Taipei Times and The China Post. Ma conducted the speech in English, so the Times account is probably more accurate.

Ogden The Inappropriate Yoga Guy Part II - Yoga, Bitch!

Cranberries?

WOO HOO! The New York Football Giants upset America's Team on Sunday, 21 - 17. It was a close game and came down to the final play when Mr. Jessica Simpson threw a pick in the endzone to seal the cowgirls' fate. Our own Hole was busy and couldn't make it. ( can't wait to hear this one!) THE Manning was efficient, and the vaunted G-Men defense was the difference. Bring on the Pack! In other, less important, playoff games, the Chargers upset the Colts. Looks like I will be taking the Super Bowl off work after all.

Bonus HOWIGATI. ( seems people liked the last one)

FOOTBALL!

Division games start tonight. FuBar will show Green Bay/Seattle at 3 pm on Sunday, followed by New England/Jacksonville. Monday night will have Giants/Dallas at 5 30.

In other news, my parents are in town, decided to come see their only grandson. Got here on Thursday night and here for a couple weeks. Surprising, since my dad is scared shitless to fly, but it was a uneventful flight, and all is good.

The countdown has begun, less than a week till FuBar changes hands. Time is running out to abuse me. Cuz Steve and Mad Mike take over next Sunday, for a bigger and better FuBar. Things should stay basically the same: sports, beer and mediocre service.

Here's a HOWIGATI.

BP Impressions III

Saved the best one for last.

Brit Paul does Brett doing Brit Paul.

News You Can Use - Really. Especially if going swimming with Europeans

An unnamed, 28-year-old male research assistant got a lesson in cultural differences when a visiting Spanish professor at Academia Sinica (中央研究院), Jesus M.De Miguel, 61, offered to help the assistant with his project.

Having met at a gym the day before, the prof suggested they meet again at the gym the following day. They met the next day and the prof suggested they first have a swim.

After the swim, while they were in the showers, the professor burst into the assistant's room and began applying body wash to the assistant's head, back and abdominal region, and then touched his genitals.

The assistant gave up on further research help and ran away from the Spanish clean-freak.

The professor however insisted that a misunderstanding had occurred due to cultural differences, and explained that Europeans tend to expose their bodies and touch others in ways that are different in Asia.

I'm not planning any European trips in the near future, but there are plenty of Europeans here so I would appreciate anyone with knowledge sharing other, lesser known (to me) cultural Do's and Dont's.

BP Impressions II

Brit Paul does Kevlar. (video)

Bored at Work

Feel better about wasting time playing internet games by playing this word game.

FREE RICE

As you play, free rice is donated to help end world hunger.

There is a FREE HOPS drinking game planned, but it won't end world sobriety.

Montana Girls

Spent the holiday down in Texas. Went out a couple of times and remembered what hot women looked like in real life. On the way back I went through Salt Lake. For those of you who don't know, Salt Lake has the hottest women in the United States. I don't know what is in the Mormon water, but it is something. I remember a writer once described his shock at realizing Weber State had hotter cheerleaders than UCLA during an NCAA tourney matchup. Anyhow, as I meandered through the Salt Lake airport I was constantly reminded of how hot they are down in Utah. I started dreaming of sitting next to one of these pretty young things on the airplane and a whole world of fantasy opened. But then reality struck. I knew I had arrived at the Missoula gate when the only women to be found were 200 lbs. minimum. There was one hot girl at the gate...she had read her assignment wrong and quickly scuttled off for St. Louis. Damn. Now I'm back here in the land of landlocked whales and hippie chicks. Maybe Texas isn't so bad after all...

Brit Paul: Impressions

BP does an American

Getting into Shape

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The
next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50-pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."

He lost 63 lbs that week.

What do you think about Roger Clemens?

Survey by Quibblo

High Speed Rail 7-11 Question

If you have ever driven on Taiwan's highways and used the rest areas, you might have noticed that the convenience stores inside the rest area don't sell Coca Cola products. They only sell "local" brands like Sars, Vitalon, and Supao. It was annoying because I wanted a diet Coke. Not a big deal, but apparently since the rest areas are state-owned, so was the store, or at least it bowed to pressure to sell only "local" brands or demanded a stocking charge that Coca Cola wasn't going to pay. I believe those stores were actually state-owned and operated, so I think it was a conscious decision not to sell "foreign" brands. (This might have changed but was the case several years ago.)

Now I was just in the 7-11 at the High Speed Rail station when I noticed they only sold Taiwan Beer and TsingTao Beer (now also made in Taiwan.) There were no other beer brands available, though Coca Cola was. It guess it could just be an issue of space, but I doubt it as they had room for more brands. And if I had to choose beer brands to sell on the basis of sales alone, I would sell Taiwan Beer, Kirin Beer, and maybe Heineken.

I wonder if instead that the 7-11 stores only carry "made in Taiwan" products because they are in state owned property. Which would be rather hilarious when you are using a rail system primarily built by foreigners. I guess forcing us to buy Taiwan made beers in the 7-11 helps offset the profits those Japanese train makers made.

Now, again, I may be fully off base here - maybe it was just a space decision and TsingTao really outsells Kirin in retail stores, so let me know anyone knows anything. I think that at the regular Taipei Train Station, the 7-11 does sell foreign beers. I know for a fact that at the Taichung train station I used to be able to buy German tall boys of Veltins.

UPDATE: After some research, I found that Taiwan beer (and associated brands) retains 80% market share for beer in Taiwan. Okay, I have no problem with stocking Taiwan beer (and Gold Medal.) But is TsingTao really the next most popular beer? According to this article it was for a while. Maybe it still is. So maybe that's the correct mix for a limited size 7-11. According to the article, American beer actually outsells Japanese beers. For some reason I keep thinking that Taiwanese like Kirin. Maybe they really do drink Miller.

p.s. For all of those who drink TsingTao at the bars...is that what you drink when you buy at 7-11? I somehow doubt it. Let me know, though.

The Brutal Honesty of Children

Niece: Uncle Brett, are you married?
Uncle Brett: No.
Niece: Why not?
Uncle Brett: I'm too young.
Niece: You're young? Are you still a student?
Uncle Brett: Yes, in fact I am.
Niece: But you have gray hair!
Uncle Brett: School does that.
Niece: If you have gray hair you cannot be young.
Uncle Brett: Thank You.
Niece: If you don't marry soon, you will be all gray and nobody will want to marry you.
Uncle Brett: Thank you again.
Niece: Are you really a student?
Uncle Brett: Do you know what a knuckle sandwich is?

Convenience Stores in Taiwan

I need to confess something.

I have always been a loyal 7-11 customer, but lately I find myself more and more often visiting the local Family Mart, eschewing 7-11 altogether.

God, I hate the word eschewing, and here I am using it just so I can tell you I hate that word. It seems like it really should be a new kind of nut they found in Venezuela. "Here try one of these eschews. Tastes pretty good! You should try the wasabi ones. Deeeeelicious."

Okay, anyways, why am I in the Family Mart? To buy Yebisu "The Hop" beer which is actually somewhat close to a microbrew pale ale in terms of taste and mouth feel. Mouth feel is not what you want to do to Jessica Alba, but is used to discuss the texture of beer in one's mouth. Wouldn't it be great to have Jessica Alba floating in a vat of beer so you could talk about mouth feel with her? "Firm, full bodied, with a natural perfume."

I have had a couple of Yebisu "The Hop" Beers lately that did not taste as great, so your mileage may vary, but I recommend trying one of them. If you can get Jessica Alba to cooperate I will go halfsies with you on the cost of filling the beer vat.

Slap ma fro!

Ni Howdy now available in JIVE

Here's a sample from some previous posts yo.

"Raz'tus led me t'dis site jibjab. Co' got d' beat! It's fine funny. Slap mah fro! Unfo'tunately ah' can't embed da damn video so's..."

John, you just gotta ask people about shizznit the right way...

"Help Needed - ah' have some high farm student, Buckwheat, dat ah' have taught fo' about some year-and-half durin' his time at I-Nin'. He gots always been some hard wo'kin' English student. Man! Unlikes most students, he snatch'd de initiative, approachin' me and oders t'engage in conversashun and snatch'd responsibility fo' his English learnin'. De last two years he gots been practicin' magic (and testin' out his tricks in English) and he's not baaaad. Not great eider, but he's always wo'kin' and might be one day. Slap mah fro! Yesterday he came upside to me and ax'ed when ah' wuz goin' back t'de States. ah' told him ah' wuz goin' back in de summer. Ah be baaad... Dat be too late. He graduates dis year and ah' gots'ta not be back befo'e he leaves our farm. His request be a U.S. half dollar fo' use in some magic tricks. If any sucka gots one dat dey would be willin' t'cut up, ah' and Buckwheat bod would greatly appreciate it. Man! He real be a great kid. Let me know, so cut me some slack, Jack. Danks."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CONGRATS to MONTANANS on dere drinkins. AHHH... be Baaad!

I am a Canna What Flower Are You?

Remember that post buried under a mountain of wiki stats?

Okay, so nobody got anything for Christmas and no one has a half dollar they are willing to part with for the edification of a would-be illusionist. Fine. This non-action only strengthens the call of the Dark Arts for him. Soon enough he'll be walking around school with his shirt open, disappearing playing cards into the mouth of his Ma Ying-jeou tattoo on his chest or growing a furry mustache and wearing a clinging neon green spandex shirt constantly cheering us with the chant "It's Magic!"

下一項

百步笑五十步 - Huang Kuang-kuo ( 黃光國 ) is mad as hell and he's not gonna take it without a press conference. Mr. Huang, convener of the Democracy Action League (民主行動聯盟) is upset with the upcoming vote on the referendum of Taiwan's admission into the U.N. The KMT is sponsoring one using The Republic of China as it's name, while the DPP is using Taiwan.

( A digression. Interestingly, the U.S. is only displeased with the DPP's proposal because entry into the U.N. with the name Taiwan would imply that Taiwan is an independent country and thus upsets the One China, status quo policy. However, using The Republic of China would be entirely different. Well, not really. The ROC was offered the choice of dual representation for China, but Peanutheadissimo CKS refused and the PRC entered the UN as China's rep. I don't think that the PRC will suddenly allow a do-over and let Taiwan enter as the R.O.C. This would establish two Chinas (or two countries using the name China) and nobody i.e., the U.S. and China, want that. More boat rocking. The other possibility would be for the PRC to allow themselves be subsumed by the R.O.C. It would be a one-China, but just not the right-a-one.)

Meanwhile, back at the conference... Central Scrutinizer Huang was warning

• "The two major parties are cheating you out of your votes."
• the referendums on Taiwan's admission to the United Nations are a dirty trick to get votes for Kuomintang standard bearer Ma Ying-jeou and his DPP rival Frank Hsieh.
• the DPP and the Kuomintang both want to lure more voters to the polls to boost the chances of their respective candidates to win the presidential race.
• both the DPP and KMT want to win the election ( He didn't actually say that, buy I'm sure it was on his talking points.)

So, what was his concerned response? Organize another party. What is it? I'm gonna lead with The China Post's - 萬 歲 ! - translation, the League for Boycotting Referendums and here be the Chinese, 拒領公投票聯盟. The D.A.L. is joined in this super league by 6 other smaller groups of revellers:the New Party, Non-Partisan Solidarity Alliance, Home Party, Citizens' Party, Taiwan Farmers Party, and Hakka Party.

What will the Ju-Ling League do? They will (1) fight the Blue and Green camps' manipulation of the referendum in using up too much of society's resources, (2) expose the evil nature of the two camps and (3) 呼籲選民將政黨票投給小黨 - call upon the voters to give their votes to small parties. But there won't be any cheating, pulling any dirty tricks or, gasp, luring, or, heavens, boosting. Well, they didn't say that either.

Extra credit - Match the Chinese and the English parties. Which one is the Home Party and why?

民主行動聯盟與新黨、紅黨、無盟、台灣農民黨、聯合公民黨、客家黨 、新黨

All errors and omissions courtesy of the China Post staff