Chili Cook-Off

That's c-h-i-l-i, no two l's in this word (sorry Illinois). See? Only one sentence and I've already raised some hackles - if I'm doing my job right. Let me see. Tomatoes? Ciao baby. This is chili, not Ragu or even ragout. Beans? Ha! Blasphemous teat-suckling mama's boy. Meat? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. Truthfully and sadly, though, most people will put either tomatoes or beans in their chili, and the truly evil will use both (even in my beloved Texas). I believe in the Texas Trinity of Fat, Fire and Meat with chary use of other additions. Some will argue that chili came to Texas from the Canary Islands, but most evidence points to the Islanders exporting their Mojo sauce (vinegar, chiles and spices). Whether the addition of meat as the main ingredient was by them or others living in Texas, what we now know as chili was most probably done first in the Lone Star State. The point is not so much as who or where, but what. The absence of tomatoes and beans in early recipes is striking.

But let's not quibble. That is best saved for the actual Chili Cook-Off this Saturday, April 22nd at 2:00. Beer, big mouths and music confined on one little pedestrian street in Taichung will certainly entertain you if our chilis do not. For out-of-towners or house-hermits, the address is Da Yeh Rd, #23 (大業路23號 - 大業路跟精誠街東興街口).

Final notes

• I believe all chilis should have a name. If it doesn't, demand that person buy you a drink and/or call that person an incredible nincompoop.
• If you can suck it through a straw, toss it.
• Remember the red comes from the chiles, not from Hunts.
• If it has no heat because the person is afraid it might be too hot for others, find the hottest chili you can and challenge that person to a chili duel.
• If the first thing you see is beans, remove them and spell out Doofus on their table.
• There is no such thing as vegetarian chili. " I'd like a wheat-free club sandwich, please." Eat it. Enjoy it. But call it what it is - a chef salad.