59 things a man should never do past 30

How many of these rules have you broken?

I know one NiHowdy contributor broke the first rule:

1. Never Coin Your Own Nickname.

Now guess who broke the following rules.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.
41. Purchase fireworks.
44. Sport an ironic mustache.

I'll give you a hint: in an ideal world he'd be elected to be the mayor of Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Disclosure: Red A is well known for breaking rule 39 a lot. C'mon, what am I supposed to do, man? Life's so unfair. Dude, you drank my last beer.