Reflections on New Brunswick

1. It's cold. Made Montana feel like the inside of a lantern .

2. Candle Pin Bowling is a nice way to pass an evening, though it is not a game for the prideful as scores in the 80s often win games.

3. Stoney still cheats at computer baseball (pitching when you're not looking, convincing you to be the Braves then, after you've selected them telling you he's traded Maddox, Smoltz and Glavine AND your starter is Russ Ortiz, stacking his expos with the likes of Pedro & Co., etc.). Fortunately I was onto his ways and we split a two game set.

4. Sandy looks better than ever, and that's saying something. I can't believe my country let her go to some remote outpost on the edge of nowhere. And yes, I'm aware that makes Maine nowhere.

5. Burl and Ivo are pretty cute. Burl likes to walk around dancing and doesn't care who's paying attention. I respect that. Ivo likes to eat the sprinkles off the top of his donut and ignore the rest of the sweet Tim Horton's goodness. I can respect that, too.

6. A witches tit is not even half as cold as that god forsaken iceberg of a province.

7. UNB has a distinct lack of talent. Probably the only disappointment of my entire stay (other than the weather -- have I mentioned that yet?).

8. The border station near Woodstock has the best selection of cheap booze I've seen, about ten bucks a bottle for things like Campari (mmm, orange peel liquor), Kettle One, and Iceberg Canadian Vodka. The poor border guard on the American side saw I had a couple of bottles extra, decided it was too damn cold to bicker with me and waived me on by. Yes!

9. Stoney's mother makes Peanut Butter cookies, sews up ripped down jackets for wayfaring strangers, and quilts at the local church. Stoney's father drives his truck over the lawn so he can get the best angle for the jump because it's too damn cold for a car to start on its own, watches George Bush in high definition (not for the faint of heart), and drinks beer nightly. He also puts beans in his chili.

Anyhow, a couple of photos (taken with my cell phone so of admitted poor quality):


This is Stoney candle pin bowling. Three balls which fit neatly into your palm, don't clear the pins until the end of the frame, and lots of beer. Notice the pose at the end -- reminds me of him playing the shoot 'em up games at the arcades in Taiwan (when he would physically duck to hide from an ambush).



This is the world's longest covered bridge, situated in the suburbs of Woodstock. I would have taken a lengthwise shot, but then I would have had to stop and exit the car. Exiting the car was not an option unless it was for booze or broads.

Final 49

A quick follow up on the Obama songs. The final list here.

Taiwan's Vouchers

Supposedly only about 17% of the rebate checks sent out in the USA last yeat were actually spent. Most probably went to one-off payments on debt instead. (This is why economists say temporary tax cuts don't do as much to stimulate demand as permanent ones do.)

Now, Taiwan is trying to get around this by using a voucher system, where you have to spend the rebate. I will be interested to see if this system does better. Since money is fungible, people may simply use their vouchers on things they would have bought anyways and then save their "real" money.

This of course will be a very academic sort of interest on my part since the wife grabbed my vouchers out of the issuing clerk's hands before I even could glance at them.

Warning signs

Are we ready?




??

Top 100

Here are the Top 100 songs voted in by CBC radio listeners.

Some of them aren't too bad actually.

Probably not enough Stompin Tom on there but what are you gonna do?

Would a playlist for Bush contain different songs?

Obama Songs

In news of the gay, CBC Radio is making a mixed CD for incoming President Obama.

Canadians were invited to vote for the canuckiest of songs. 49 will be chosen.

Polls closed last night. I'm happy to not hear the promo anymore.

Despite what the thought bubble on this link says, I think "Go For A Soda" will make the list.

That or "Patio Lanterns".

You gotta have patio lanterns.

I forgot to vote. PIMP? Kevlar? DW?

Going to Guam tomorrow. Any requests? Karl, you still need beef bouillon?

Front page picture, print edition, from the Taipei Times. Hey, it works! I sure as hell laughed. Watch out China Post, they're coming after you.

Good news for D-Wayne. Pop has upgraded him ( with no prompting from me ) from "the one who just points and doesn't ask" to " that Canadian" at Southern Command. Chris has yet to receive any moniker and I think AJ's is "the guy I don't understand when he talks about gout."

The Taiwan Green Party is urging people to spend their vouchers wisely. Wisely means you spend it where they want you to spend it. They should not be used on frivolous items such as cars, gas, and disposable items. Damn! We're almost out of toilet paper. Maybe I can borrow some of the costumes from the Green Party Street Theater Troupe to tidy my heinie. Really, if they want to be taken seriously they need to get a new director, better costume designer and props man. Well, that and about a billion other things, but...One guy is holding a voucher with what looks like some sort of shriveled claw. In the foreground is what I take to be a giant condom ghost watching the other members dressed as...costumed troupe people? hold vouchers that seem to be drifting into the huge hole in the earth left by the levitation of the Leaf continent. None of them look too happy about whatever is going on. Maybe they're pissed their photo got bumped from the front page by an egg and a clown.

Houli horses!

The last day of the 4-day New Year's vacation, Petra, my niece Joanne and I went on a little day excursion to Houli (后里). Just a little north of Taichung, it is easily reached by train in 30 minutes or less. I wasn't sure what we would do, I just knew that my wife said we would ride horses. Really? Well, arriving at the Houli train station we started looking around for help. There were plenty of students working part-time offering assistance to tourists. We rented bikes at the train station to ride to the "Hores" Station. They offer bikes for all sizes (except Karl). I had my seat raised to its maximum height and still was unable to extend my legs past the Big Wheel stage. If you go, I would go to the front of the Hores Station to rent a bike. They have a better selection. Bikes for little ones, bikes with training wheels, tandems, 3-seaters, all with the option of an electric motor.

The Houli Horse Farm (Chinese link) , as the local government calls it, was about what I expected. The riding is done in a small pen. Children must be led around the pen by a worker - 2 laps for $60 NT. Joanne is pictured above getting ready to be walked around on good ol' No. 299. Adults can ride by themselves for half an hour. I don't know the price because I got tired of waiting for good ol' No. 288 finish his lunch and left. While waiting for 288 to finish, we toured the area. One good thing about the farm is that you can ride your bike into and around the place. Joanne just started riding a bike a couple of months ago and is still pretty green. This was a nice,safe place for her to practice and gain some confidence. She learned how to and when to change gears there before we went biking around the area. There is an area for archery, a small playground, a couple of dilapidated, vacant houses and lots of construction going on to kill a good 5-10 minutes. You can pet the horses, and the Great Dane who is stabled next to the horses if you dare, as well as feed them if you bring your own horse chow.

Okay, horsie time was over and my navigator told us we were going to ride on the Hou-Feng Bike Path ( 后豐鐵馬道 - the 鐵馬 characters don't mean iron horse, but rather the Taiwanese pronunciation of bike). No cars or scooters are allowed and bicycle cops patrol the path to make sure... well, I'm not sure what they do because unless you can lift your scooter 2 feet off the ground there is no way for a scooter to enter. But, they are there, just in case. We were riding at noon on Sunday - bike rush hour. The ride is pleasant and the path is paved and divided into two lanes, which surprisingly, most people followed. After crossing under the highway we came to Tunnel #9. This 1.28 kilometer tunnel was built by the Japanese as a rail line. Exiting the tunnel you come to the bridge pictured above. Still nice and sturdy. However I forgot about my wife's fear of bridges when I began shouting at her. She was leading the way with Joanne in the middle and me bringing up the rear. What caused me to shout was seeing her plow down the middle of the narrow bridge forcing oncoming cyclists to break left and right around her. She maintained perfect posture, head never turning left or right, until the end of the bridge. No wrecks and only 3 or 4 forced stops. Maybe I should have spent some time with her at the horse farm.

Our last stop was the winery above. It is owned and operated by a young Taiwanese woman who trained at wineries in Napa Valley. They are renovating the building and hope to open in time for Chinese New Year. They will have a tasting area, bar and restaurant. She speaks good English, is very friendly (she practically forced us to sample every one of their wines) and informative ( she used lots of wine words that I played like I understood ). They offer Taiwanese style wines as well as a couple of traditional ones. The plum wine ( I usually don't like anything plum in Taiwan ) tasted like what I think a semi-sweet white wine would. The ice wine was good. How good I do not know. I just know I can drink it and not be put off. We ended up buying two bottles of Red Onion Red Wine. There are two versions. One is more for medicinal use and tastes like it. The other is made exclusively for drinking and taste. This was the one I chose. Semi-sweet with a hint of Funyun. I am almost out and will reorder. She delivers free of charge.

There is a nice garden as well as outdoor seating with a table made from 20 foot long and 3 foot wide piece of driftwood. This was washed down the side of the hill in a typhoon and they bought it from the government. In Taiwan, all driftwood belongs to the government. What about the fish and the trash? Do you also have to pay to remove these from the water? The table is spoiled somewhat by an inevitability - the wooden mock choo-choo Wine Train at the head of the table. Oh well. Trying to remove kitsch from Taiwanese is about as easy as removing the dermis from the epidermis and the subcutaneous fat. Still, we plan to return for a meal and a brace of Red Onion.

Last Anime Stewardess

This links up with EW's post....if you have unsafe sex with an anime stewardess, you may end up with a kid screaming for a teddy bear. "Forewarned is forearmed."

Uhhhh, I don't think the condom goes on the forearm, you know.

D u r e x

Surgeon General says......




Mash

Anime Flight Attendant III

Coffee, tea, or me?

Beer here, dear?

Oh! You have to go too?

I don't care that everyone has to work today.

It is a make-up day for having Jan.2 off. More like wake-up it's Saturday, now go to work!!!
Jan.1 fell on Thursday, every asshole got a four day weekend. Everything kinda crowded. Now this!!


In an effort to enforce the regulations more effectively, those who report violations will be rewarded with 5 percent of the fine. People seeking to collect the reward may take photos of smoking in the act, ashtrays, lighters, and signboards of the venues as evidence


Public venues where smoking is banned include restaurants, karaoke bars, Internet cafes, coffee shops, indoor workplaces with three or more people, and public transportation stations and waiting areas.

Under the revised rules, people who take a drag in smoke-free areas will be fined from NT$2,000 to NT$10,000.

Anime Flight Attendant II

I believe this is Zoe? They all have names. 

She's asking you if you'd like to try her hot and steamy buns. (熱騰騰的包子)

Anime-style EVA Air Flight Attendant Dolls

What is she thinking? NT$ 680 for her thoughts.

Inspirational moments

Get Smart

Stick Shifts in Taiwan

Our car is being repaired, so I have been driving the loaner from the dealership.

It's manual transmission. I have not driven a stick shift in 20 years.

Turns out, its like riding a bike - you won't forget how. Yeah, there were some moments of "if you can't find 'em, grind 'em" but that's cool because then you can say "if you can't find 'em, grind 'em"aloud and relive your salad days.

The main problem with stick shift driving in Taiwan is Taiwanese drivers. They poke along slowly, pull to sudden stops, and then shoot out of intersections. Maybe my shifting skillz are not up to scratch yet, but I find myself switching between 2nd gear and 1st gear way too often as the driver ahead of me cannot decide to creep along at 2 mph or to stop a few times, and then creep along again to get to the green light ahead of us.

So my advice is to NOT buy a manual transmission car in Taiwan.

Mike Leach on 60 Minutes

60 Minutes profiled Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach last night, calling him the Mad Genius of college football. (video link - 11:30)

Included are replays of this year's come from behind win over UT (sorry Bread). Moneyball author Michael Lewis comments on his success despite not having access to the cream of the athletic crop.

Must see for Tech fans.

Now if only Blue Jay fans could look forward to this kind of story about JP Riccardi. He did work for Billy Beane for a while, did he not?

The Transporter 3

My wife and I managed to get out to see a movie for the first time in two years. I let her pick the movie and she chose The Transporter 3. 

Here is her decision-making process.

1. Must see an action movie, because they require the least amount of thinking.

2. Choose a sequel if possible.

2. Ask 14 year old son if this movie is any good.

As you can see, this process will lead to lots of bad movie choices and The Transporter 3 was no exception. It had a bad plot, bad writing, bad acting, and even bad casting.

Bad Plot: The basic plot is that a U.S. company wants to ship toxic waste to the Ukraine for dumping, but the minister of the environment there won't let them, so the company hires the Bad Guy to kindap the minister's daughter until he signs the contracts that would allow them to dump their toxic waste. Our transporter is forced to be the guy moving the daughter around Europe.

Hmmm, some problems here. Contracts signed under duress would be easy to nullify once you got your daughter back. Besides, ministers of the environment in the Ukraine probably welcome toxic waste dumping, and maybe a bribe would work better than kidnapping the guy's kid?

Bad Casting/Writing/Acting: The chick in the flick is an absolutely ugly red-head - Carrot Top's female equivalent. She also cannot act and her lines sucked, too. Apparently Luc Besson found her on the street. I believe that.

Look, I can live with some impossible stunts like driving between two semi trucks with your car on the side or inflating some duffel bags from your car tires to make the whole car float. (That seems to be against physics but whatever.)

But casting the eye-candy equivalent of Taiwanese dried salty plums as the female lead forces me to hate the movie. Meanwhile the male lead, who does his best to keep the film afloat, is forced to strip down TWICE in the movie.

DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE EVER.

Put on yer Taiwanese high school male thinking cap

Click here to watch the Racecar

You need to turn down the sound if you are at work.

Indoor Tropical Frost

There was a weird cracking sound, and then someone dropped the dishes. POP! five tiles shattered, a dozen more just lifted.

Ahh, maybe expanding air pockets? A trail of steamy footprints from the shower? One of those tiny indoor earthquakes that knocks over drinks?

The tiles wanted to leave because it is too cold.

A Southern Command New Year's Eve

Sessions at Southern Command all begin the same. I get a beer, open my paper to the crossword and the security dog, Bao Bao, jumps on top of my paper, rolls over and paws at me until I rub her belly. Well, that's okay because I like dogs and we get bathroom privileges - providing we close the door. Pop always reminds me to tell the others, especially "the one who just points and doesn't ask" (D-Wayne).

Five o'clock comes round and people start gathering. D-Wayne and Chris are first. It's cold. How cold I do not know. But one of the cold-sounding Celsius numbers. We three get a head start on debunking the alcohol-will-warm-your-body myth. Esquire Willy and AJ are next and the table is crowded and the neighbors start putting in their earplugs. Steve is last (or Brown as Esquire calls him. I thought we pretty much had a moratorium on using last names in Taiwan but the Esquire nose-whistles his own tune).

Many motions are agreed upon: the Cowboys sucked, we still hate the Eagles, it is still cold and it is best not to open a bottle of beer one-handed while using the same hand to talk on a cell phone. The Esquire tried that and opened it up into a hundred pieces on the ground.

The cold inspires Steve to go inside and buy a couple of the heating pads pictured above. These are small bags that once activated by rubbing, crumpling and/or slapping, produce a constant heat for several hours. The bag is filled with iron fillings, water, active carbon and salt. My wife says her elementary school students know the formula and can make it themselves.

The ad at top says they maintain an average temperature of 50-55 degrees Celsius, with a max temperature of 66 for 20 hours. Well, I don't know about the 20 hours, but they were still quite warm by bed time. Students can always be found with these in their hands. Steve and I experimented with other locations. They are great as bun warmers. One in each pocket. I enjoyed leaving it on the back of my neck, getting a nice shot of heat down my spine and up my neck. Steve used them as earmuffs by securing them with his toboggan, yes, I said toboggan. Let me explain. Growing up in Lubbock, big snows were rare. The usual winter snow was a 1-2 inch dusting that disappeared quickly. We just weren't snow mavens. Whereas the Eskimos have a baker's buttload of words for snow, we ( or just me ) had only one word to cover all things snow related - and mine was toboggan. I didn't have any Canadianer friends at that time so I didn't know about toque. Now that I do, I still don't say it. So Steve was delighted wearing his heating pads inside of his toboggan.

AJ tried to warm up by buying whiskey - he wasn't there for the earlier debunking session. When he went to buy the second bottle I decided it was time for me to go and pass the New Year in my preferred manner - not dead. When the clock struck midnight I was asleep and alive, dreaming of black-eyed peas.

They are my favorite vegetable and you can get them in Taiwan. I have only found dried but my wife asked the person selling them and she said they were grown somewhere in southern Taiwan. I eat both kinds, but fresh black-eyed peas with snaps are better, better , better. So if anyone in southern Taiwan reading this...oops, that was stupid. If anyone reading this ( a little better) knows anyone in southern Taiwan who might know about fresh black-eyed peas, let me know and I'll send you a signed picture of Lee Deng-Hui.

Things were a little more lively in Taipei, where Jack Donaghy blew up Taipei 101.

Overheard at A.I.T.

Official: What do you do for a living?

Supplicant: I'm a private equity banker.

Official: Where will your wife live in the USA? We will need to see some documentation, maybe a utility bill in your name with the address or something like that.

Supplicant: Actually, I live with my parents.

...

In defense of this guy, I heard the CEO of Bear Stearns just moved back home with his Mom too.  And his Mom won't give him an advance on his allowance until all the chores are done.

p.s. The Burger King next to AIT served an awful meal this time. I'm thinking of skipping it in the future. Any suggestions for lunch?

Invincible?

Yesterday was definately one of the more enjoyable football Sunday's in a few years!

Finga's Pie

Season's Greetings

The inlaws came to my house Christmas Eve. I knew they were bringing the turkeybird. I went to Jason's, Capitian'ns (yumahu) and Sinnon. Getting vegetables, looking for cranberry jelly, and stove top stuffing.

After failing I hit Finga's for this 480nt$ eight inch apple pie. It was tasty, but pricey. Then to a supermarket for wine, vodka, lime mix.

The odd thing was that I wanted Bailey's, vanilla ice cream and apple pie. I got carried away with having Christmas day off.

The pie was gone quickly. The leftover bird bits went in the steamer, on a plate with veggies and a little gravy. J-hole once mentioned the steam cooking. The steam really rejuvenates the meal. Why did i ever put meat in a microwave?Today I am gonna attempt Turkey Soup.Don't worry I won't be posting pics.

Puntland Prez: Red A Fodder

I see that this week the Chinese have sent destroyers into the waters off the Horn of Africa to protect their shipping interests from pirates.

Much of the piracy is based in Somalia and Puntland. (govt site)

Now I'm sure this would have been mentioned at some point if I were still around Taichung so here's the Red A fodder part (and in some oddly perverted way, I actually kinda miss his malicious digs at Canada) - enjoy!

The president of Puntland, Mohamud Muse Hersi ran a gas station and raised a family in Ottawa between 1979 and the mid 1990s.

I am picturing palm rubbing and grin-giggling.

CBC story - Former Ottawa gas station operator rules home state of Somali pirates

He has repeatedly denied profiting from Puntland piracy.

Transporter 5

Where do they get that crap?




Shoe phone..

Uranium Savages

J-hole,

Sorry I lost that Uranium Savages tape and your cowboy hat (though I still claim you never gave that to me.)

To make up for it, please find this link to the Uranium Savages web page, complete with downloadable MP3s...

You want to go to discoteque?

Red A Family Christmas Tree

Complete with weird kid-shaped black hole.

Even Christmas Tree lights cannot escape it!

Info Month Expo - Taichung

Petra and I made it out to the expo last Sunday. We left without purchasing anything, which was good because there were so many people there and so crowded I had more than the usual trouble of trying to think. There were computers, cell phones, office equipment, televisions, games, software and more. Jordan's Language School had a booth with their dragon mascot and his co-host, a young Taiwanese woman with an eardrum-piercing,screechy-high, rah-rah voice, putting on an English demonstration in Chinese. The National Palace Museum's booth featured some truly neat-o software. Petra and I played with it for a while and as we were leaving the booth I asked her why she was not considering getting it. She said that it was part of their web site and we didn't have to buy it. Great. But it was not part of their web site and it was indeed software. I only found this out two days later.

This is leaving the expo. It was at the old Shui Nan Airport and on arrival you turned off of Da Ya Road, wound around a minute on a small lane and emerged on the taxiway. As the group of cars and scooters I was following hit the taxiway, we all broke into a high-speed picket line formation and floored it the 1 kilometer to the expo building. I considered it a highlight.

These guys are wearing boxes, clacking little, plastic megaphones to call attention to their printer leasing company. My wife says companies like this are popular right now.

Outside the expo building was a mini-night market complete with games. This vendor caught our eye. Fried shrimp or oyster xiao long bao ( usually meat-filled steamed buns). You can see the buns at the bottom left, before they go into the deep fryer vat. Should have just had them like that. The bun turned out not to be very suitable for deep-frying. While the filing - we had the shrimp - was okay, the bun itself tasted like a big,hot, greasy glob of Bazooka bubble gum.

I am holding champagne milk tea. I am wearing the proper expression for one who has just drank some. If you are wondering, it tastes like creamy bubble gum and cyan.

Christmas lights

Is your house on fire, Clark?
No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.


Happy Holidays:)



would you believe?

Old Alert

Wow, for the first time in a while (perhaps ever) I feel old today. Let me explain. Christmas is just around the corner and as I now work in an office I'm to participate in a Secret Santa. So of course me being a bit of a joker was discussing the gift exchange with one of my younger colleague's (22 + attractive) trying to mislead her. i told her I had Kenny (who is African American) and that I had decided to buy him the new Guns and Roses CD. The flaw in my thinking was she had never heard of Guns and Roses and therefore took my suggestion seriously (which I thought was clearly sarcastic) and mentioned to one of my co-workers that I had pulled Kenny's name from the hat.
This girl in turn said she also had Kenny causing panic throughout the office that somehow someone had made the devastating mistake of putting two of the same names in the hat. Anyways, I'm sure all of this is getting very confusing but can you believe........someone on this earth has never heard of Guns and Roses.

I asked my colleague when she was born and she said 1986. I believe Appetite for Destruction was released in 87. Now I feel old.

Ponce de LeSmith

Chaon has recently declared war on us here at Nihowdy. Wow, nothing like an overweight, undersexed 7 foot goofball lining up his A&A pieces to take us down in a moment of Jihad. The interesting thing about his little pissing contest? In order to be a successful jihad, isn't it imperative that he die in the name of his atheism? And if he does indeed die in this endeavor, does that mean his wife is on the market for other lovers of ninja lesbians, like this ninja bunny?

*I must confess, I'm with him on the Tonka posts, but if we mention we're tired of them Willie will post more just out of spite. So keep posting Big John, they're really fascinating.

Hope Dashed

Well, I posted a couple of weeks ago about Obama and how neat the evening of his election was here in Missoula, MT. I didn't vote for Obama (and certainly not McCain) because I feel he is second coming of Clinton, that he will kowtow to industry, and that he will basically shoot the progressive movement in the foot. The right has become so adept at defining anything left of Rush Limbaugh as liberal propaganda that we have started believing them. A brief look at Obama's cabinet:

Sec. of State: Hillary. Pro Iraq war, no meaningful foreign policy experience, friend to India at a time when an even hand is needed, voted for the latest round of wire tapping and the "Patriot" act and has stated speaking with foreign leaders we do not agree with is a bad idea. You're right Hillary, let's just bomb them instead.

Sec of Defense: Gates. Not much to add here, it's pretty clear where he is coming from.

Sec. of Education: Duncan. A beleiver in test taking and no child left behind (interesting considering Obama said he'd do away with the law during the campaign). enemy to teacher's unions everywhere.

Sec. of Interior: Salazar. I cannot begin to describe how awful this pick is. Supported the ultimate science hater gale norton, voted for ranching subsidies on public lands, threatened to sue fish and wildlife for putting prarie dogs on the endangered list, voted against fuel efficiency standards for cars, voted to end offshore drilling restrictions, and the list goes on. Agency Capture Continues in Interior should be the headline.

Sec. of Treasury: Geithner. What the F...? Looks like treasury will continue in the same direction it has been going under Paulson. I understand the need for institutional knowledge, but this department has been a disaster and Geithner has been standing right there the whole time (allbeit from just outside).

Sec. of HHS: Daschle. Couldn't do Hillary Care in the 90s, why will this be any different?

HUD: Donovan. Honestly don't know much about him, so no complaints yet.

AG: Holder. Marc Rich, really? To be honest, I kind of like this pick. Tough on corruption, big on curbing executive power, will speak his mind and stand up to Obama if he thinks he is legally wrong and not show Obama how to get around a law he doesn't like -- all in all we could have Gonzalez back, right?

Commerce: Richardson. Clinton retread, again, don't get me started on this corrupt son of a bitch.

Agriculture: Vilsack. I'm not sure people realize how important this position is, being as it controls food standards, national forest leasing, farm subsidy policy, etc. He is an agribusiness hack and a huge supporter of "biofuel," whatever the hell that means. Disgusting choice.

Energy: Chu. A nobel laurete and believer in science! Yeah!

Homeland Security: Napolitino. No idea whatsoever what these people do. Seems like your main job is as a public administrator, making sure people get what they need when they need it and ensuring the intelligence agencies aren't getting so jealous of each other they withhold information.


So there you have it, a cabinet defined as "liberal" for all the world to see. Yet the only liberal policies they espouse are biofuel, which is stupid in theory and practice, protectionism, which is stupid in theory and practice, and universal health care. Maybe science is a liberal idea now, I'm not sure. I'm also not sure where this revolution of change is coming from given the people Obama has chosen. Other than Chu, Holder and possibly Napolitino, I wouldn't vote for any of these people to be dog catcher. Looks like four more years of Clintonian center right (which is better than Bush far right) and that's just poo.

Mess with the Taiwanese

I'm back in Taiwan now, and just successfully messed with my wife's head again.

Every time I'm in China, I try to learn a new phrase that is used there but not in Taiwan.

Then when I get back, I start using it continuously to the annoyance of my KMT-voting but slightly anti-China wife.

This time the two phrases were:

"Da4 Guai3" and "Xiao3 Guai3" literally Big Turn=Left Turn and Little Turn=Right Turn

The trick is you have to casually use these phrases as if they were completely normal Chinese - and, why, yes they are. Then when your Taiwanese counterpart acts flustered, you repeat them louder and louder. What? Don't you understand Chinese? Ha ha ha!

Griz v. Spiders

A special shout out to Dean-O, alias Mr. Bean, whose Richmond Spiders defeated Northern Iowa to advance to the finals of the FCS for the first time. They will be joined in Chattanooga, TN by the Montana Grizzlies for all the marbles. Some friends and I were contemplating the drive, but being as we have an afternoon final the day before, it just wasn't happening.

In other news, the temperature is holding steady at -7F today (about -22C), just cold enough for the old nose hairs to freeze up* after two seconds outdoors. Fortunately, I and a couple of friends spent the day in some hot springs (photo below) about an hour out of town. One is returning to Japan soon and wanted one last American experience. I was happy to oblige.


*this is also known as "ice snot"

一中街 / Yi Chong Street

Taichung's Yi Chong (or I Chong, how do you Romanize it?) Street is very popular with students, young people and wives who want their husbands to go someplace other than establishments providing frosty, adult beverages. It is actually one or two main streets with many alleys feeding off of it and gazillions of people feeding themselves and the vendors. Action is busiest on the weekends and holidays and that is when my wife told me that we were going. We were looking for Christmas gifts. We found none. I'm sure there are things there I would buy - 90% of my students' accessories come from there or the Feng Jia area. However, this was truly a 人山人海 situation (people mountain people sea: huge crowds of people). Final score: Other people - 0, Me - 4. I got four sets of matchboxes with classic themes: Elvis, Bruce Lee, Clint Eastwood, old Chinese adverts and Chinese Huangmei opera films.

I also met these guys. College students giving out hugs. Their goal was 10,000. Get a hug and sign your name. I got one from each of the seven pictured but don't know if that counts for seven or just one, me. Anyhoo, they were very nice and spoke English very well and confidently. That was a nice experience.

My continuing quest for good dumplings was not as nice though. I tried the first soup dumpling stand that I came upon. 5 dumplings for $20 NT. Dumplings, yes, soup...no. Well, you get what you pay for, so I tried a different stand nearby selling the same amount for $25 NT.

Me: Do your soup dumplings have any soup in them?

Unhappy Girl Helper: ( Nothing is said. Just looks at me like a tree full of owls.)

Me: Excuse me. Do your dumplings have soup in them?

UGH: ( Still nothing said but her expression changes to one of disgust and amazement at my stupidity - dismazement. She then slowly points to each character on the sign indicating that this is a soup dumpling stand, nodding her head slowly at each character, hoping round-eye can understand and order or go away. I'm gonna send the Hug Squad over here and order her a double.)

Me: I know this is a soup dumpling stand, that's why I'm here. But I just came from that one there and there was no soup in his dumplings. What about yours?

UGH: ..........Boss!

Boss: What's the problem!

Me: No problem. I just want to know if your dumplings have soup in them. That's all.

Boss: What do you mean? Of course! You want them or not? ( Hug Squad, where are you?)

Me: Yeah. And give me a spoon, please.

Boss: What do you need a spoon for?

Me: Uh...nothing, I guess.

I guessed right. Nothing. After carefully making a little hole in each of the dumplings to let the soup drain into the clear plastic bag, that is what I ended up with. Not even one drop. Well, I'm going to pay a little more and go back to the soup-friendly dumpling places I know of

PIMP, I saw that you requested a recipe for the broth. Follow this link and have your wife translate. It's a copycat recipe for Ding Tai Feng's 小籠包 (xiao3 long2 bao1).

The Tonka XVII issue, vol 16

One 4 the road...........





New York Mets win doubleheader

Y I W Y i w u

Did You Know?

• The smallest commercial aircraft flying out of YIW, CN is a 737 with 166 seats.
• There are 7 nonstop flights per week departing from YIW, CN.
• YIW, CN has 21 medium sized aircraft departing each week.
• The largest aircraft flying out of YIW, CN is a 737 with 166 seats.

KAOS in Control

Two Things

1. If I am ever in charge of a US company who sends overseas vendors Excel Files to fill in for pricing, etc., I will make the forms fit A4 size. I bet you can even buy that in America. 8.5 x 11" is annoying as hell.

2. 10 hours in van with customer wasting my time while they think about using the competitors we are visiting. You know, the ones we set up meetings with and planned out when we could have been doing our own products.  This is not a good time to claim that our QC service % is too high and that we really don't do anything. I was ready to walk away. He claimed I was "threatening him." WTF? You think its not a valuable service so I say, fine, I won't do it. That is not a threat but a promise, in fact. Does he think people should work for free?

Barotrauma

Five dives, food, accommodation and transportation from Taichung to Green Island. Lots of fun!!, 8000nt.

.
Six days later I went to China medical to get my left ear sorted. After testing my options were A) A needle and meds. B) Meds, wait two weeks and then a needle if necessary.

.
I choose option (A). After the doc used a syringe to extract the fluid from my middle ear my hearing instantly returned.
Over the next ten days the eardrum was cloudy and occasionally clear. Now it is A-one.
.
This is the second time I have had fluid trapped in my middle ear. I was careful to take my time and equalize, on my way up and down.
.
On my next dive trip how can I prevent this "Barotrauma"? My ear doc agreed with my suggestion for decongestants. But I think we may have had a minor communication issue. Any suggestions?

Air shows

I'll b ur wing man......









Dead Cowboy

Phasors on stun

A B C on gun control

Set fazors on stun.........







Kisses For KAOS

Tech will not be going to a BCS bowl game despite being ranked #7 by the BCS. The BCS guarantees a meeting of #1 and #2, but for the remaining four BCS bowls, conference champs get bids. So, we have #13 Cincinnati and #18 B.C. in the Orange Bowl. Tech will be in the Cotton Bowl against Ole Miss, which is not in the BCS Top 25 (they are 22 in the AP, though). Tech will get to play in Dallas, which will make it much more convenient for fans to attend. But why not match us up with #8, Penn State? The BCS goes to lots of trouble to pair up their numbers 1 and 2, why not do it for the rest of the Top Ten? Yes, I am a Tech partisan, but I would rather see Tech play in a bowl commensurate with their ranking than getting a handout. I would feel like they just hadn't earned it. Teams that had finished in the Top Ten should get the benefits of exposure from being in a BCS bowl game. Only Tech and #9 Boise State will not be in a BCS game. Boise will be in the Humanitarian Bowl.

On the brighter side, Tech has offered Coach Leach a new contract proposal including a raise and 3-year extension, running through 2013. With Washington and Auburn apparently looking elsewhere for coaches, this is good news. Especially when considering that Coach Leach loves the Hub City, wants to stay, wants a fair contract and didn't want to wait until the season was over to work out a deal. Well, AD Gerald Myers got it to him, though maybe not as quickly as a lot of Tech fans would have liked.

Equally bright, potentially brighter, cleaner and more sanitary, is the news of Tech researcher, Seshadri Ramkumar, who supervises the Nonwovens and Advanced Materials Laboratory at Texas Tech, who has developed a decontamination wipe designed by researchers at The Institute of Environmental and Human Health (TIEHH) at Texas Tech University which has proven itself the best for cleaning up chemical warfare agents and toxic chemicals.

The evaluation of the nonwoven dry wipe product, called Fibertect was performed as part of a study by the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory using mustard gas and other toxic chemicals. Researchers found that the Texas Tech-created product out-performed 30 different decontamination materials, including materials currently used in military decontamination kits.

The Tech Athletic Department has a rush order in for a gross of cases to decontaminate the football uniforms after getting the kee-rap beat out of them in Norman.

But...Fibertect? Come on! I've never drunk Taterade or Gamerade, but I have drunk Gatorade. This is a no-brainer. It's gotta be FiberTech, dammit!

But even Fibertect is better than the captioning of the picture in the wipe link.

Hooters

上海 波霸
(shàng hǎi bō bà)

八六

Random Sentences put in an Incohesive Post

Kevlar is discussing politics? Maybe he can become the next Usher of the Black Rod (thus supplanting crazy Kenny).

Steven Harper is what we thought he was!!!

Went to Vegas over Thanksgiving Holiday....and surprisingly came back with more than I went with. I managed to hit four dueces on the flop of Triple Play poker, paying out about 1G (on a four dollar bet). That paid for the trip with room to spare. Looks like a good Xmas for the nieces and nephews.

Speaking of which...the boycott is ending early. Nobody else in the family is making the pilgrimage to Texas, meaning have my mother endure a long, lonely holiday or sucking up my pride and covering for my siblings (who covered me for ten years while I was overseas). Think I may parlay it into a trip to the Florida Keys, we shall see.

Finals blow ass. And if anyone ever thinks of forming a partnership here in the States, one word of advice: get someone else to do your taxes. Subchapter K (which covers Partnerships, LLCs and S corps) is without question the most confounding area of hell imaginable. Pass through entities suck. After taking a class specifically in the field of Partnership Tax for the past four months, I'm no further along in my understanding of it than I was after my simple Business Organization class. Final next Wednesday, updates to follow. Maybe I'll even post a question for our eager readers.

Steve Avery is in big trouble for using the term "sloppy seconds" in relation to his ex-girl's relationship with a current member of the Calgary Flames. Really? This is a suspendable offense in this day and age? How did this even get out? Did someone from the Flame locker room go running to the league saying "he called that sweet little blonde sloppy seconds, the big meany!" I understand Avery is a prick, a gnat and all kinds of bad things, but suspended? The interesting thing was that when Zidane headbutted that dude for badmouthing his sister, everyone was on the Italian's side saying "get over it, it's sports." Memo to Calgary: GET OVER IT.

And finally, how dumb is Plaxico Burress?

Prorogueys

Parliament prorogued.

Canadian coalition crisis explained to Americans. (or anyone else thinking WTF?)

Michaelle Jean's role.