Friday, January 23, 2009

Reflections on New Brunswick

1. It's cold. Made Montana feel like the inside of a lantern .

2. Candle Pin Bowling is a nice way to pass an evening, though it is not a game for the prideful as scores in the 80s often win games.

3. Stoney still cheats at computer baseball (pitching when you're not looking, convincing you to be the Braves then, after you've selected them telling you he's traded Maddox, Smoltz and Glavine AND your starter is Russ Ortiz, stacking his expos with the likes of Pedro & Co., etc.). Fortunately I was onto his ways and we split a two game set.

4. Sandy looks better than ever, and that's saying something. I can't believe my country let her go to some remote outpost on the edge of nowhere. And yes, I'm aware that makes Maine nowhere.

5. Burl and Ivo are pretty cute. Burl likes to walk around dancing and doesn't care who's paying attention. I respect that. Ivo likes to eat the sprinkles off the top of his donut and ignore the rest of the sweet Tim Horton's goodness. I can respect that, too.

6. A witches tit is not even half as cold as that god forsaken iceberg of a province.

7. UNB has a distinct lack of talent. Probably the only disappointment of my entire stay (other than the weather -- have I mentioned that yet?).

8. The border station near Woodstock has the best selection of cheap booze I've seen, about ten bucks a bottle for things like Campari (mmm, orange peel liquor), Kettle One, and Iceberg Canadian Vodka. The poor border guard on the American side saw I had a couple of bottles extra, decided it was too damn cold to bicker with me and waived me on by. Yes!

9. Stoney's mother makes Peanut Butter cookies, sews up ripped down jackets for wayfaring strangers, and quilts at the local church. Stoney's father drives his truck over the lawn so he can get the best angle for the jump because it's too damn cold for a car to start on its own, watches George Bush in high definition (not for the faint of heart), and drinks beer nightly. He also puts beans in his chili.

Anyhow, a couple of photos (taken with my cell phone so of admitted poor quality):

This is Stoney candle pin bowling. Three balls which fit neatly into your palm, don't clear the pins until the end of the frame, and lots of beer. Notice the pose at the end -- reminds me of him playing the shoot 'em up games at the arcades in Taiwan (when he would physically duck to hide from an ambush).

This is the world's longest covered bridge, situated in the suburbs of Woodstock. I would have taken a lengthwise shot, but then I would have had to stop and exit the car. Exiting the car was not an option unless it was for booze or broads.


Red A said...

Nice post! I think you're supposed to visit NB in summer, not winter.

Sandy said...

Yay Brett! Come back in summer!

mr. bean said...

Grate to hear you made the trip up to see Rye & family. Your last e-mail to me said you were headin' to sunny, warm Key West, FL. Looks like you're hittin' the weather extremes of N.America.
Hi Rye & Sandy ! Glad to hear all is well. Happy Chinese New Year !

Anonymous said...

Yeah! Happy Chinese New Years to all!
Aj and Sian