More Awards

The Rush Limbaugh Award for not knowing when to keep your trap shut goes to...J-Hole! For walking up to the bar and giving away the result of the upcoming football game. Now, he knows better than that, and some think it should cost him ten beers, but we at Nihowdy are content to just let him wallow in the pit that is his own shame. This time. Should it happen again, we will have to force him to wear a Rams jersey, LANCE'S Rams jersey!
And on another sad note, the New York football Giants lost to the Colts, but keep a stiff upper lip, my faithful, the Super Bowl is still within our grasp.

Last Chance

to get into week 1 of the football pool. sheets are going fast, so hurry on down to FuBar and plunk down your hard earned "matchsticks" (wink, wink), and go up against some of the best prognosicators in the business, or at least on Soho St...John "The Angry Texan", Jerry "The Greek", and Laoban (stumbling and bumbling).
NFL/NCAA at FuBar:
Today: Ohio St. @ Texas 2:30
Monday: Indy @NY Giants 6 pm, Seattle @ Detroit 8:30 ISH!
Tuesday: Minnesota @ Washington 6 pm, San Diego @ Oakland 8:30 ish.
Wednesday: Dallas @ Jacksonville 6 pm, Replay- Viewer's Choice

and here, in honour of the US Open winner, is the HOTW, better late than never. more like the HOWIGATI (figure that out, and get a free beer.)

College Football Live! (almost)

The number 1 and 2 teams will meet Saturday for the top spot in Austin, Texas. Ohio State seems to be the favorite, especially considering that UT cornerback, Tarell Brown, will be on the sidelines( unarmed) possibly accompanied by His Whine-ee-ness, Jake Gylakasdhalll. Nevertheless, us Taichungians can view it Sunday, 2:30pm at FuBar. College football fans come out and support the Longhorns in this game. Afterward we plan to go to the school and throw the pigskin around.

P.S. D-Wayne says he'll give you your first beer free if you're in time for kick-off and drink two more ( or so I have written).

Im Never Keeping Others Business Afloat!!

I Hold the Award with Pride!

I had some shit to figure out back here , mentally , physically and all that stuff! But im sorry mother fuckers but now you got me ! I have a thought that pops in my head ITS ON THE BLOG !!!! LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh its true , love it or hate I DONT CARE , read it you will , comment, probably not but hehehheehhhehhehehehehehhe YEAH BABY IM BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!! BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Award Time

The Pain in the Butt Award goes to...Bread! - for disappearing the banner photo and making me relocate the code to insert pictures again.

___________________________________________

The Eternal Turkey Award goes to...Karl! - for once again setting himself up for my amusement.

__________________________________________________

The Knute Rockne Outstanding Technological Achievement Award goes to...D-Wayne! In a category that had been dominated by veteran hunt-and-pecker, PJ, rookie D-Wayne snatches the coveted leather helmet in his first outing. In recording all but the final 3 minutes of the NFL opener, he was able to use thousands of more dollars to achieve what PJ could do for a buck-eighty.

I BOW TO THE BRASS!!!!!!

Well done IJ , hahahahahah!! NICE!!!

Change the God Damm Vote thing!

Good Lord i swear the brass at this Blog are the laziest bunch of JABRONI"S I have ever witnessed , honestly change the %^%^$$%%&*% vote thing ! May I make a suggestion! WHO IS GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!! Good God , oh and trivia what flag is that , city and state?????

Am I Going to Hell??????

Does this rule only apply to thos slack jawed yokels in Houston and the rest of Texas??? Big John?? IJ?? Does it apply if when you are staying in bed screaming OH GOD , if you are by yourself??? Maybe I need to join a church on Sunday!! Oh wait , its Football season! I'll take my chances ! GO EAGLES!!!!!!!!!! Brettski good luck in school ! Deano , where are you nowadys???? Lance you are a neandrathal!!! Everyone else keep on keeping on!!!! RIP Croco Hunter!!!!

JUST WATCHED FIRST GAME!!!

AWESOME GAME I CANT BELIEVE THE _____________________________________________________________ WON AND THEN THE QB FOR ________________________________________________________________ DID THAT AFTER THAT RUNNING BACK _____________________________________________________________ UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God football has started!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I REMEMBER NOW!!!!!!!

Fuck , it has come to me again! I was thinking Eagles but then Im not sure if you guys in taiwan have heard the news yet that Jerry (Commander Cardy's) beloved team has gone the route of the Cowboys.. One would think a team coming off a Superbowl year wouldn't have to resort to such tactics.. Needless to say they are from Seattle and to be honest I think thier new team logo is hot!!!!!

Attention, Karl!

Not even 12 hours had passed (including recounting-my-money time and sack time) since I left Karl's home from a night of poker playing until I was able to secure a couple of bags of black-eyed peas for the Commander and myself. A three minute drive to Hsiang Shang (向上) market and a stop at the first stand that sold beans was all it took. So, to respond in kind to Karl's " Black-eyed peas in Taiwan? No way, dude," I say, "Way."

That was the easy part. The hard part was trying to get a real answer from the boss of the store.

Me: I would like fresh peas. Do you have any?
Boss: You want to grow them?
Me: No, I want to eat them.
Boss: But you just bought some.
Me: I know. But I want to buy fresh ones.
Boss: Ahhhh.
Me: Do you sell any?
Boss: Not many people eat black-eyed peas in Taiwan.
Me: I know. Do you sell any?
Boss: Not many people buy black-eyed peas in Taiwan.
Me: Can I buy fresh black-eyed peas in Taiwan?
Boss: I don't know.
Me: Where do you get the dried ones?
Boss: They're difficult to find.
Me: Where do you get them? Are they imported?
Boss: I don't know. Maybe.

You see, black-eyed peas just happen to be my favorite non-meat. They are a staple for people in the South and Texas. I grew up thinking everyone knew what they were and always ate them. I grew up thinking wrong. Many of my friends, who now know better, had never heard of them and (gasp!) didn't know you always ate them on New Year's Day for good luck.

Ignorance remedied is acceptable. Continued obtuseness is not. I remain miffed that I still see all these recipes that call for dried peas. Not everyone has access to fresh peas I know. But, when I see southern cooks use dried over fresh, I become nonplussed - yes, nonplussed. Where are the snaps? They come in a pod, you know. You shell about 3/4 of the peas and break the rest into pod-intact snaps. More texture, color and flavor. If you can, buy fresh, shell and snap them and you will thank me. This isn't even opinion. It's fact (just as it's a fact that steamed dumplings are far superior to water dumplings).

But sometimes we make do with what we have - dried peas. Still no problem. There are many recipes, like Hoppin' John, but I prefer them without rice, by them beautiful selves. Before cooking you need to soak them. You can cover them in water and let soak overnight, drain and rinse, or you can use the quick soak method. Again, cover in water, bring to a boil for about 1 minute, kill the heat, cover and let sit for about an hour. Drain and rinse and you're ready to cook. Chop up a little pork belly or sausage and brown. Add the peas, water to cover, your seasonings and cook until done but not mushy. A popular variation is Texas Caviar. I'll post a recipe from Tom Perini's cookbook later - I'm giving you credit, Tom, so don't sue me. I always go to your steakhouse when I'm home.

If you're ever in Texas, you can visit the "Black-Eyed Pea Capital of the World," in Athens, Texas (in the middle of Trinidad, Lake Palestine and Gun Barrel City). Attend the Black-Eyed Pea Jamboree or the monthly Pea Pickers Square and Round Dance. Or, you can join the International Black-Eyed Pea Appreciation Society, founded by Rip Torn's father, Elmore Rural Torn (if you can find them).

I forgot my point???

I swear I did have a point to this post, hmmmmm????What was I trying to say?? Oh well if it comes to me I'll post another!!!!!!!!!

That time again

Time for NFL football pools. Sheets for the whole season will be available at FuBar tonight at 7:30 and since I am late in getting them out, everyone gets a freebie for the Thursday night game, which i will show on Friday night at 6. Same old, a yearly pool and a weekly.
Super Bowl prediction: Giants/Colts

Damn! Where was this in the 80s?

Turns out teens are performing oral sex at a much more frequent rate recently. I'm gonna try this line out the next time some cutey tells me no:

Oral sex can be safer than penetrative sex: It dramatically reduces the risk of contracting HIV and reduces the effects of some other sexually transmitted infections (although you can still pick up herpes, warts, and thrush). An infection that might have made a girl infertile instead gives her a sore throat.

Yep, just a sore throat honey....

I especially like the supply and demand concept of oral sex. Nothing beats integrating economic theory and oral sex. Except intercourse of course. That beats it hands down.

Congratulations Dean-O

Hope abounds. Knocking off D-1 programs is nice (right A.J.?). Now, if they can just do the same in roundball.

bummer

'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin speared through the heart by stingray. Dead at 44...

As our fearless leader mentioned we had the 3rd annual Soho St. NFL draft yesterday. First overall pick was Larry Johnson, and the last was Matt Leinart. The Commander walked away happy, since he got his Pin Up Boy, Alexander. Here are a few snippets of overheard conversations. And a bonus pic of HOTW.

1) "Ahman Green??"

2) "Who's the idiot that took a kicker?"

3) "You F***er! I wanted Eli!"

4) "He's got the best tight end, and I've tried them all."

5) "Marty Booker!!"

6) "Where's Jeff and Dave?"

7) "What do you think happens when you pass out?"

8) "Who's turn is it?"

9) "Is he taken?"

10) "MARTY BOOKER!"

Bob Dylan - Modern Times

Thanks to Dean-O's prodding, I picked up Dylan's new album today. Wow. Solid all the way through and without question his best since Saved! Who knew he still had it in him? I mean, Time out of Mind and Love and Theft were solid enough, but his voice was still grating more often than not. Modern Times beats the pants of off them. Many positive reviews have been written about this latest album, most of which I figured were hyperbole. It's not Highway 61 Revisited, but then what is? Nice effort for a senior citizen. Nettie Moore (track 8), When the Deal Goes Down (track 4) and Thunder on the Mountain (track 1) are highlights, but the whole album is stacked. Cheers Dean-O for the forwards and pick up a copy yourself.

Not sure if you guys are aware, but Dylan is hosting a radio show for XM radio on Wednesdays called 'Time Radio Hour', most of which can be downloaded from various torrent sites. He basically is chatting with his guitar and going through some serious early roots shit. Fantastic program if you happen by it.

CHAD VADER EPISODE 3 - NIGHT SHIFT MANAGER

here's a link to their home page - Blame Society Productions

The second best fantasy sports post ever

Yes, we had a fantasy football draft. Let me give you the nuts and bolts of it for those of you who are not familiar with it: We draft, we drink, we win or lose and repeat the last two until the season is over. That's it. Usually, that is the way it is. However, this time Dave ( real name, Dave) purchased a one month old barber chair for $2,000 NT from the dead fashion store across from FuBar.

This season, we have all agreed that the last place finisher will get the privilege of sitting in the chair and getting a Kojak. Not a close crop. A cut and a shave. If you're really lucky, you might get Captain Beer to buff it, too.

Beer Factory Tour 8-6-06

Well, it wasn't exactly a tour...

it was more of a sit-down-and-drink-cheap-Taiwan-Draft-beer activity...

the topics... Texas vs. Colorado... Lance's D-Wayne fetish...

D-Wayne's exhibitionism... Big John spreading the love as usual ...

This all went down 4 weeks ago today...

NSFW...

Comments Please

Now before I delve into an argument with which I have done no research whatsoever, I would like to hear others views on the recent recommendation that four soldiers accused of planning and then carrying out a slaying of civilians in Iraq be put to death. Views from our resident hawks (J-Hole and Red-A), resident dissenters (AJ and Dean-O), resident ex-military (Ponce), wanna-have-a-vote Canadianers (Big-El, Stoney, PIMP), don't give a shit Canucks (Frenchie, Kevlar, etc.), and anybody else would be greatly appreciated.

My problems with this idea are many, not the least of which is my abhorence of the death penalty itself and sincere hope that it be abolished in the USA. However, that's more of a non-issue here, since it is, after all, policy. However, if the act of premeditative murder did occur, and if they were not just following orders, are we sending a message to Iraqi's that we are serious about punishing our own (in a cultural/penal setting they can relate to and appreciate) or are we sending it to our own citizens by saying that we will not tolerate such deeds? Are we imparting a message to our own soldiers to act with civility or are we scapegoating them for our failures? Wish I had some answers for this myself, and the story seems to hinge on the soldier that witnessed the act and was allegedly threatened if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

Of course, if the three accused soldiers' story is true, that presents a whole host of problems well beyond the scope of the initial comment request. Thoughts?

Yee Haw

Tomorrow is draft day, where the men are separated from the little girls (that's you, Frenchie)
This year will be different, I will not be denied!
Here's the HOTW.

Drift Racing part 2

Here's a longer clip of the drift racing. Enjoy!

Seduce

I haven't been to seduce in a few years. I may return one day. Here's why.
That's some serious bikini party!

Drift Racing in Taiwan

During my ass-kicking at poker last night, we were discussing drift racing in Taiwan. Some people have never heard the term, so I thought I would try posting my video footage and a pic.

This is a short clip from a close angle. (Congrats Pimp on your first youtube.com posting)

The short clip was recorded at Encore Gardens. Rumour has is they race quite often up there. I will try and find more info and post a date for anyone interested.

A second clip will follow providing this clip works.

Library card

The art museum has a large collection of English childrens books. The library card is free and allows you to take out six books for a month.

Secrets of Gambling

Chinese believe that long nose hair leads to the loss of money. Before playing MahJong or cards it is wise to trim those nose hairs. Hogwash! I said.
After being forced by Rye and San to watch Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, I felt compelled to invest in this gadget. Sogo tenth floor next to the manly refrigerators and appliances 888 nts.
Last night in a quiet game of poker I walked away with plenty-o-cash.
Shaving will help you find love.
Trimming will help you win money.

FOOTBALL PREDICTIONS!!!!

Alright so it is that time... I will win the fantasy League , that goes without saying! Who is that high school grad on the far left?? Honestly who goes to thier grad drunk??? Anyway , Eagles win , who cares about the rest ! GO EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One unhappy Representative

Nice to a hear a legislator actually showing some emotion. I swear I thought he was going to have an aneurism right on the floor of the US house. Now I just need to find out who in the hell this Tim Ryan fellow is and what his proposal on adding more troops is (if indeed that is what he is proposing in the last sentence).

Mr. Ni Howdy 2006 Finalists

Talent competition at the Wu Ri Beer Factory

Mrs. Ni Howdy 2006

Petra Sue Lynch

YEAH BABY!!!!!!

Ok lets see , the cowgirls acquire T dot O and the football world is in a frenzy , COWGIRLS!!! COWGIRLS!!!! Blending that pompous arrogant kevlaresque bastard with the Tuna is a recipe for disaster, good luck to you Cowgirls... Now what do the eagles go and do , they trade for a receiver who appreciates the game and the TEAM concept who happened to get nearly 1000 yards and 7 TD's last season!! GOOD RIDDANCE AMOEBA ! GREETINGS CATALYST FOR SUCCESS ! EAGLES FLYING HIGH BABY!!!!!!!!! Pimp sorry i missed you in Ontario , was in North Bay, somethings i had to take care of **cough cough meeting son for first time cough**8 GO EAGLES YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taipei Zoo Hot as Hell

I can't find where it says on the Taipei Zoo website where it says the Education Center and most concession stands and all souvenir shops are closed on Mondays... The nocturnal animal house was open but most of the animals were sleeping. Well, not really but yes a lot of them were... that alone was the sole source of AC...

The people we talked to about it were really nice but seemed surprised that we didn't know this as we stumbled onward through the heat... parched and dehydrated... "...Your friends really should tell you these things..." Yes, yes they should ...Kevlar was reduced to scoping it out in just his loincloth for god's sake...the humanity!!

The kids were sleeping by 2...

Other than that everything was great.

A dictionary of slang and euphemism

Check on the second entry "Aarons rod". I have a feeling I'm the last one to know where his nick name came from. This book won't make it to my classroom, maybe J-hole could use it for his computer classes.

Went to the zoo.

Teach: Ok. Can anyone tell me what colour is a zebra?
Junior1 student.: Hey teacher a Z-bra is red, yellow, black or purple.
Teacher: No, I think a zebra is black and white.
Junior 1 student: No teacher they come in many colours
Teacher: I saw a zebra at the Taipei Zoo and zebras are black and white.
Junior 1 student: I saw Z-bras at Easy Shop and they come in many colors.
Teacher: Go stand at the back of the class!
Junior 1 student: Ok I will stand at the back. Before I go could you tell me why you are wearing a faggy queer T-shirt.
Teacher: My friend Rye gave it to me.
Junior 1 student: Is your friend queer?
Teacher: No. Now go piss cutting-er somewhere else!

Can't find someone??

This little device can be placed in a car, scooter or bookbag. The owner can call the Minibond company to locate the device. web site or just call 0800221195
I don't have one, but I could think some people out there might like one.

Sports and them dang Chinese

Finally, a sporting event that I want to watch and am able to watch live - the World Basketball Championship. We are able to watch some MLB, but that is my number 3 sport and in Taiwan you mostly get Yankees games being shown three times in a row or the Red Sox. Slim pickins. So, let me share with you what I have gleaned from the games I've seen.

1. ESPN's Gregg Easterbrook rightly complains about the NBA's acceptance of traveling as part of the game, so he'd better not watch any of the WBC games or he'll have an aneurysm. To the Europeans and China, taking those extra steps is not just okay, it's mandatory. Start with a Flintstone foot shuffle, two of what Easterbrook calls "the hop through", alternate feet and pivot 10 feet, and then you may choose to shoot or add some more steps for style points.
2. Yao Ming sucks. He's a baby. So, he averaged in the 20's in the first round. They won two games and one of those was against Senegal. In the round that counted, he scored 10 and his team got routed by Greece. Sofoklis Schortsanitis (scrutinize that name carefully), 9 inches shorter than Yao, showed him how to take it to the hoop. He also scored 10, but in half the time (oh, do look at his picture). Against the U.S., he chased the ref to half court to complain about his bulldozing of Battier. Against Greece, he threw an elbow at their center (not Schortsanitis) after a gimme dunk. He does not know how to face up to the bucket in the paint. His best move is to kick it back out and let Yi Jian-lian score.
3. Number 14 for China, Z.Z. Wang, won't make any headlines as a b-baller, but the name on his jersey definitely could as the name for a Taiwanese Tai Ke band.
4. The Greeks have the best passing I've seen so far.
5. The Italians take dives in basketball, too. You know the soccer move where another player enters into your sphere of influence and you flail about and moan as if you just stepped on an anti-personnel device...well, I saw the Italians do it 3 times against Lithuania.
6. I would pay a lot of money to see a Brit team play basketball. I can't imagine the first thing as to how it would look, but it would definitely be hilarious.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666

Not quite professional level athletics, but professional level bitching

At the International Children's Games in Bangkok this last week, Chinese athletes and officials used force to take the R.O.C. flag away from Taiwanese medalists who had it draped over their shoulders at the medal ceremony. I guess that the Chinese Spiritual Civilization Steering Committee needs to add a couple more groups to their list. Maybe the Chinese should take a look at the ICG's home page before they attack more teenagers.

How not to make a good impression in Australia

Say yes to flight in Decatholon. Manly say you can handle anything. Fly around with father of friend for two hours. Before landing request some tricks. After the Barrel Roll and the big loop, say that was nothing. After the simultaneous Barrel Roll and loop-de-loop, land on your friend's property and relocate your breakfast on the yard. Good Times.

Not a Blue Light Special

Well, I made my first trip inside a WalMart in some ten years today (personal boycott temporarily suspended due to a desperate quest to find a reasonably priced desk lamp). Besides the overwhelming amount of junk available and the largely overweight customers (average weight 260lb/male), one thing struck me as unreal.

Price for a coke from the pop machine at WalMart: 50cents
Price for a coke from the pop machine at KMart: 60 cents

Unbelievable. Not only can mom and pop shops not compete against the evil that is WalMart, large established companies can't even equal (much less beat) them on a can of soda. Incredible. This information alone sent me back to the Goodwill and secondhand shops to find my lamp. The way I figure it, I just used WalMart for their AC and added extra wear and tear on their parking lot. I am sure I cost them .000000001 of one cent. Of course, the free advertisment I just gave them in Coca Cola advertising will probably counterbalance even my most minisicule of victories.

Man Sits on Tent Peg

HMMMMMMMM

GOD BLESS SHOPPING IN THE WEST!!!!!!!
WHAT DOES CAPTAIN BEER HAVE TO DO WITH THE POST??? I DONT KNOW , BUT THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HAVING A CRAVING AND JUST BEING ABLE TO GO GET IT! THE ONLY PROBLEM FACING ME IS , WHAT DO I DO WHEN I CRAVE CAPTAIN BEER??? WELL, I GUESS JUST DO THE SAME AS ANY OTHER , PRAY!!!!

Costco again

I know that I have been 0-for-ever in my previous Costco reports, but I'm betting the farm on this one. Situated on Da Dun South road between Wen Hsin 3rd and 5th streets is the location for the Taichung Costco. What makes me so sure this time? I've upgraded my sources. My wife teaches the 11 year old son of the personal secretary to mayor Jason Hu. She spoke to him (the secretary) last night and he swore up and down it's a done deal. He even told her the lot number. Ground will be broke next year and it will be completed within two. For those not too familiar with the streets, the site is off of Wen Hsin road about 5 blocks south of Wu Chuan West road. It's not far from Tony Chen's language school for those unfortunate enough to know. There's a big Buddhist temple behind it (I thought it was an apartment building). So, why is this important? Because Carrefour sucks.

In 2005 Carrefour and Tesco swapped some money and stores. Tesco got Carrefour's stores in Slovakia and the Czech Republic, while Carrefour got Tesco's stores in Taiwan. So, what's wrong with Carrefour? They were the first store that I had been to in Taiwan that forced me to visit every floor of their store before I could get to the floor that I wanted. When living in Changhua, I entered at ground level, went up one floor and then descended two to reach the supermarket, even though there were stairs leading directly to the basement supermarket. We were not admitted and forced to make our trek. The one in Taichung is not as bad as that and maybe the one in Changhua has changed, but that is still supreme suckage.

Let's move on to selection. Initially, Carrefour provided a good selection of their own branded products such as green beans, mushrooms, good red wine vinegar, soups other than cream of corn and other French stuff that I'm sure was probably pretty good to chow down on. So, what have we now? None of that. Carrefour simply has most of what every other store has, but all under one roof. You would think that at least they would preserve their cheesy heritage. You would be wrong. Tesco slaughters them in selections of cheese. Even the Taiwanese supermarket, Sinon (damn the usurpers) has a better cheese selection. Maybe you say that Carrefour must adapt its product lines to the Taiwanese market. Yes, they probably do but they don't have to replicate them 100%. Taiwanese are adventurous eaters. They are willing to try new foods. Hell, they demand it. Ten years ago you wouldn't have been able to find half the things that now stock local supermarkets. I just don't buy the line that one local restaurant owner, Fatty, of Fatty's, told me - Squid ink pasta? Never! They would never touch it. You have to change it for them. Crap, hooey, bunkum, malarkey. So, Brits, say goodbye to your baked beans and all the English curry and cheer for Costco.

A BIKINI!!! NOT NUDITY!!!!!

Well now i just feel terrible!!!!! Mind you it was a bikini , not nudity!!!!! I suppose the only thing I can do is to show the kids my mom getting into her truck to head back home... Please kids NOTHING IS HOW IT SEEMS!!!!!!!!! Day and Night really...

HI EVERYBODY!

another installment of HOTW. Tried to find a pic of Frenchie's mom, but she keeps them all.

48 seventh graders say, "Thank you, Frenchie!"

In Taiwan, the start of the fall school semester begins next week for most schools. However, most junior and senior high school students are already in school, as they are encouraged to attend a month-long summer session, or summer camp, as my school calls it. Truthfully, it is more like a camp than school. Students don't receive grades, go one trips to Sun Moon Lake and prepare skits and acts for the opening ceremonies. So, with a shortened summer vacation, students and teachers both enjoy a casual month of gradually preparing ourselves for actually having to work.

I teach both junior and senior high school students. Both are enjoyable, but it's seeing the newly arrived 7th graders that tickles me the most. A couple are bigger and taller than I am, and some could fit in my pocket. Some look like Charles Schulz drew them, and some look like perfectly proportioned 3-foot tall adults. Our junior high classrooms all have a PC that is connected to a projector that displays whatever is on the computer monitor onto a large screen at the front of the classroom.

Today, we were cruising around the Internet, visiting different kinds of sites, exploring their functions and learning how to navigate them in English. We had finished with music, news, community and photo sharing sites and were moving on to blogs. Well, I thought. Why not use Ni Howdy? We could even do a short post as a class. Good idea, right? Well, I pressed enter and stood up to get ready to point out the different features on a blog. The screen was behind me to my left and I was looking at some notes when the little people let out a great hullabaloo. I wasted time looking among the students thinking someone puked on another student again and then saw them pointing to the screen. There was Frenchie's "mother" smiling pleasantly at us all. Now, Frenchie, I know I have often commented on how late Taiwanese learn to socialize, but I'm not sure this was what I had envisioned. You definitely made their last day of class, but what am I going to do for a follow-up - and not get fired? A little help here.

Great to the see the Family again but....

This past weekend my family and I went to Wasaga Beach just outside of Toronto , a good time was had by all but hanging out with mom was a tad unsettling , needless to say we fought for sharing her bedroom! Is that wrong???/

DEADLINE, DISCO DAVE

This beautifully designed hand carved octoganal folding poker table is currently residing in a nook in a house that is unable to host. Due to lack of playing time it has demanded to be traded to another abode. GM Kevlar swapped it for a cigarette weeks upon weeks ago but the buyer, DISCO DAVE, has yet to claim it. THAT SMOKE IS WELL LODGED AND VAPORIZED. I had never seen a table pout before but let me tell you, it's a sorry sight to behold. "DISCO DAVE GOT SUCH A SWEET DEAL I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HASN'T PICKED ME UP YET. I FEEL SO UNWANTED." That' a direct quote by the way. Rumours are swirling that D-Wayne Mendoza is looking to claim it on waivers. The poker table is reportedly geared up at the chance to be played upon on the South Side of Soho...

I suggested to Kevlar we give DAVE a week to claim his prize but Kevlar is so HARD LINE this week he said, "No, 24 hours." Cold and cruel.

The fate of the unclaimed poker table is yet to be decided but I'm leaning towards a couple of options. I thought it might be kinda funny if we torched on the street on the next auspicious burning day. Hey, it's GHOST MONTH anyway right? We'll TAI KE it up...

The GM has said he will entertain other suggestions or offers 24 hours from the time of this post...

Bike with display stand

This bike has a stand that resembles a sheet music stand. It is light as a feather and has 36 or 27 gears. The owner spent a fortune to keep the wheels off the ground, but only 200 nt for the chain to lock it up. For the cash this baby cost I would think the owner would park it in a nice secure airconditioned office.

Private Ryan saved

Here is a picture of Sgt.Rye. Dispensing orders and taking commands from the Eight Fairy centre. He is really becoming difficult to work with. His mis-mash of instructions seem to only add to the confussion. He is promoting new books, adult classes, a bushiban, part-time staff, more computers in the office, girls high school uniforms for the female teachers, mops made of spaghetti, and a ONE bin re-cycles all program.

Probably good for a caption contest

Buy Yourself a Beer

Blogging is hard work, but thanks to the tireless effort of our contributors (Captain Beer excepted) we are getting something like 48 views per day. Subtract ourselves from that total and then charge the remaining viewers NT$ 1.0 a pop, and we could be making enough mad internet money to buy ourselves a cold Busch from 7-11. EVERY DAY.

Younger siblings "more amusing"

We laugh with: J-Hole, Bread, Frenchie

We laugh at: Rye, Kevlar, Red A

We scratch our head at: Captain Beer, D-Wayne, PIMP

From the FARK wire, THE HISTORY OF MOONSHINE

Have child need to blend

My wife told me not to feed my kid bananas. Well if that is going to be the case, then I am going to drink them: from a pitcher with a blender and some ice and of course a little rum.

I wonder if I will be late for work tomorrow.. I might also try and watch Basic Instinct II in one sitting.

Love of water pressure

My local used airconditioner people called this guy. He came to my house where we discussed two options: A) Installing a pump on the roof to improve my hot and cold water pressure. Down side being it cost more and would take several hours.
B) installing the pump on the hot water heater. Upside Takes less than an hour and is cheaper.

I went with option B. My problem was that my hot water would shift from too hot to no hot water. My cold water pressure was tolerable.

Problem solved.
I also learned that because I am on the top floor I have the lowest pressure. First floor apartments should have excellent water pressure because of gravity drawing the water from the roof.

The guy who installed it prefers to speak Taiwanese.. but his service was great and the price was fair. From the time I contacted him until it was all done was about two and a half hours. This included me fumbling for language and him having to go to the store to buy the wires, pipes and pump. Why I didn't do this years ago... Only reason I can think of was that I was hungover.

Woo Hoo, Y'all!

J-Hole at FuBar. Told ya not to drink the tequila!

Rules??? Visa's?? Oh Athelete!!

Now im not one to gripe and moan.. Ok, yes i am but lets evaluate this guy , decides to split on his team in russia , and somehow gets into Canada and the US now with no visa what so ever... Now for the hundred of thousands americans that bitch about immigrants in their country who work harder than them, have at him ... AHHHHHHH wait he is important , he is an athelete ... Why not let the ones who work and respect the country stay , and kick the dude who can skate out??

Just so you know...

I'm putting this one up as a reference. It's not exactly new news if you visit Tealit on a regular basis as these revisions date to last May...

On a tip from the Commander, there are some changes to the labour laws concerning foreign teachers working the bushiban circuit.

Did you know the max amount of hours you can legally work is 32? The minimum amount of hours you can work and still get an ARC is 14...If you get a second job, it must be for at least 6 hours per week...You can work for a maximum of 4 employers at a min of 6 hrs. per week ...If you're working for 2 employers providing you with at least 14 hours per week, either can give you your ARC...If you leave your job, you have 14 days to find a new ARC sponsor...And on and on and on....

Here it is in all it's glory...

I'm sure teachers and employers alike will be lining up to follow these new regs just like drunk drivers always take cabs and teachers' salaries are always declared in full...

Teacher Looking for Job

Can anyone help this guy out? He's got a lot of experience with kids.

Check out his resume on jobs4teacher.com




According to his resume, he's actually visited Taipei before, and probably has a little Chinese under his belt.


He wouldn't be able to work right away, as he has some legal issues to take care of, though.

p.s. Does anyone get the pun, and if so, is it beyond the pale?

Betel Nut Girls Taiwan

from Big Nose Productions a short preview for a documentary they did on bin lang culture. Damn, I haven't had a chew in a long time...

Les Arthur's Comic World Taiwan, last weekend in Taipei...

You'll probably recognize some of the characters from TV or 7-11 ads or your kids' stickers, pencils and notebooks and such...

Flintstones smoking Winstons

Saw this on another blog.

Yep, this is Taiwan

Yankees pitcher, Wang Chien-Ming (王建民), has stopped giving interviews to theTaiwanese media for the time being because of their hounding of his parents. Reporters moan that he is abusing freedom of the press.

Well maybe they won't stand up for their own country, but put some oil around some rocks in the ocean with all kinds of yummy, edible sea-things and they'll have their headbands on, chanting a most uninspiring protest chant, 抗議 (literally, protest) faster than Air Supply can sell out the Taipei Dome. Several Taiwanese activists went to a group of disputed islands, the Diaoyutais, to assert claims of sovereignty for Taiwan / China / Greater China? Uh, well...just NOT Japan! Armed with a strong sense of country but not much sense, the warriors (rocks they brought along), lost the naval contest with the Japanese coast guard (guns, rifles, exploding things).

Take time to answer some questions from the Taiwan driver's license test.

【True and False Questions】

2.Respecting traffic laws and orders is just good driving and has no connection with driving morals.

8.To avoid dust, the car behind overtakes me. I also hate dust, so I overtake the car in front.

10.When starting to drive, changing gears, turning and braking, the driver should pay attention to the passenger's safety and comfort.

14.I have driven for many years and have good driving skill. Therefore, when I'm driving, I often joke and sing. This shows my driving skill and will not affect the safety.

17.If a driver has no driving moral, it is a misfortune for him and others.

18.If I'm taking the old, pregnant or handicapped passengers, I should increase the charge

【Multiple Choices】

2. At night, when behind another car, you should(1)use lower beam(2)use upper beam(3)not use light

10.The driver obey the law because(1)he fears punishment(2)of responsibility, honor, and for personal and other people's safety(3)he is under surveillance

15. If drivers wish to uphold national honor, promote social state ability and family happiness, they should(1)have driving morals and obey the law(2)have good driving skill(3)not drink or smoke

17.The driver's clothes and appearance should(1)have no limits(2)be clean and dignified(3)are not important

19.At the intersection, if you see an amber light after crossing the pedestrian crossing, you should(1)stop(2)reverse to be hide the pedestrian crossing(3)continue forward

320.When the blood sprays out continuously, that will be the bleeding of (1) vein. (2) capillary. (3) artery

321.If a car is burning in car accident, the injurer is easily to get (1) shock. (2) choke. (3) emesis

Kai-wen ze me le?