Timmy! Get Your Guns, uh, Hands Up!

Sports fans are no doubt aware of Timmy Smith's most recent troubles. Well, I don't think I saw this coming but sure did have doubts about his future after me and some friends witnessed Timmy in action one night at a local bar. First, a little background. Smith grew up in Hobbs, NM and went to college at Texas Tech. He went on to play for the Redskins, and after minimal production in the regular season, ran for 204 yards in the Skins' Super Bowl win. Prior to this cocaine bust, Timmy had been having child support problems. At one point he fled back to Hobbs to avoid being arrested for non-payment. Which brings me to his stupid little stunt at a place called the Lone Star Oyster Bar. It was one or two weeks after the Super Bowl on a Friday or Saturday night out at the bar when Timmy walked in. Cheering, yelling and sloshing of beer. Timmy's king here. Everyone's congratulating him and he's loving it. The O Bar is a small, narrow place with a counter for beer and shrimp and oysters. Timmy is holding court at the counter waiting for his drink. The bartender turns his back to pour and Timmy pulls out a move he withheld from the Super Bowl. He looks slyly to the left and right. Good. No one's looking. But everybody is looking. He's our local hero in a shoebox bar jammed tight with a lot of glad-handers. It's impossible not to see him. Especially when he then belly flops onto the counter ( not the tallest guy) and reaches over and down. Head pops up with a big smile and he slides back down to a standing position while stuffing his pockets full of boiled shrimp he just snatched. We all saw it except the bartender. Silence. The silence of bewilderment and despair. We no longer had a hero and went into overdrive convincing ourselves that Billie Joe Tolliver was a great quarterback, even if he would blast a receiver's hands off at 60 yards but always bounce pass a 7 yard screen. And much beer was drunk.



Tassy says: " Today's Chinese is - hellfire missile. 獄 火 飛 彈 (yu4 hwo3 fei1 dan4). Ask for it by name."