My Fellow Right-Wing Nutjobs:

Sauntering around the Internet yesterday I saw several posters who were Aghast! Yes! Aghast! that the Texas Rangers wore a one-time-only special jersey that had Los Rangers in place of the normal Rangers.

• " I'm not watching another game."
• "Major league baseball (and all professional sports) have become part of the state sponsored "bread and circuses" package that sap our national strength and distract us from taking steps necessary to save our civilization."
• " What an insult to the Texas Rangers."

Well, I must tell you, my usual comrades-in-thought-control-arms, that I am Nonplussed! Yes! Nonplussed! by your off-target, hyperbolic responses. While mistakenly trying to tether the jerseys to other political events, you ignored the Rangers hat-trick of Cs: Capitalism ( live viewing privileges were not free), Charity ( the jerseys were raffled off) and Cultural-ish-ness ( 3 letters of the alphabet were ingeniously re-arranged to form a word from another language!). Why, if you had your way, we would be one flag short of an amusement park and would wish us bodily harm every time we lisp an order for a cerveza.

Your time would be better spent on the true targets of this cultural influenza - the Irish and Chinese. Every year the Irish hold huge rallies celebrating their drunken, malignant demigod, the leprechaun - who only because of their well-known fear of water have yet to invade our shores. Also yearly, the Chinese incrementally attack the oh so scrutable round-eye with their fireworks and their animal totems. I urge haste. The leprechauns will surely overcome their aversion and I abhor becoming the lickspittle of them or some giant, cloth-covered, H.R. Pufnstuf doll dressed like Liberace. In the meantime, we in Texas will continue to listen toTejano, speak non-lisping, bad Spanish while we talk with our amigos over a cerveza.