The in-laws are coming. Okay... They're going to stay at my house. Well... okay. They're going to stay for 2 weeks. HOLY HELL! NO WAY. GIVE THEM MONEY AND MAKE THEM GO AWAY! NOW! Ah, I got ahead of myself. These are the Hong Kong in-laws, not the Taichung in-laws. Yep. Two sets of in-laws from the one, and only, wife. Blessed I am.

Actually, they've already been here a week. Let's take a look at the two sets and see if we can discern any reasons for their behavior regarding me and the one-and-only wife. I have truly gained much and learned from both sets. The Taichungers introduced me to parts of Sino-Taiwanese culture that, for the most part, remains hidden from prying Round-Eye. Let's take Patriot Day. Bet you didn't know about that one. Well, on this day, all loyal patriots eschew all things foreign. Don't look at it as a denial, but rather as an affirmation. I stupidly scheduled our wedding on that day and have since come to realize why they weren't able to make the 5 blocks to the courthouse for our wedding. If I wrongly felt disturbed, no worry. Reconciliation Day follows soon after. Here, salaried foreign devils are encouraged to bequeath a sum of money to show their remorse at failing to understand fully the intricacies of the culture.

For the Hong Kongers, something even less prosaic, if that is possible. H.K. dad is a pork butcher. H.K. mom is a pork cooker. And a beef cooker. Shrimp, oyster, chicken, clam and fish cooker as well. True carnitarians. Never without smiles and often laughing, their response to a question about vegetarians was overjoying and opened my wallet to them forever - "We despise them." Said with a giggle and a smile. Two weeks is too short. The fridge, kitchen counters and shelves have been cleaned. The curtains in our bedroom were washed and cleaned. No scolding. Just wanting to make the house better for us. Coming home from work their first day here, I found Dad asleep on the couch with my dog, Tassy, asleep on his stomach. They have talked to and loved Tassy more in one week than the Taichungers have done amongst themselves in a lifetime. I am judged caring when I put out juice to warm up for my sick wife. Loving when I initiate the cleanup after supper. Sufferance is granted on the premise that my wife is first, as it should be - but is not always practiced. Should I stray, I know that Mom would be on a plane here from Hong Kong to kick my butt before I could get on one to escape. I ain't even gonna think about testing that one out. What do I have to worry about? Nothing. And like she just said,"You don't know? So what? Mom knows everything."