The Sage Wore Green

Well, the Oracle has spoken. I have listened. Dressed in his Terrell Owens jersey, the greatest prophet of our generation laid out the immediate future for all of us one Tuesday morning over Bloody Marys and the NCAA Championship Game. With the gift of the internet, we can now share some of those projections:

Projection #1: If Michael Jackson is found guilty, he will commit suicide immediately
Projection #2: South Korea will shun the Americans and align themselves with the Chinese in the next five to ten years.
Projection #3: And finally, the NT Dollar will continue to strengthen against the US Dollar, all the way to 23 to 1 (currently at 31.66)

Now you may or may not be willing to wager on these projections, but let it be known that this is not some case of a simple man running his trap. These nuggets of information are not laid out as mere probability. These are certifiable events already destined to happen. My friends, the future cannot be changed, so buy your last copy of Thriller, convert your South Korean Won to NT, and prepare for Chinese terrorists on Formosa.

On another note, I project that if a certain Texan's bar tab exceeds a certain Frenchie's bar tab for another month, a certain Texan's wife might confiscate the ATM card from his wallet.