M a e H e a d

Arrival beach to "Turtle" Island.....
Koh Tao:)


Boga

B a n g K a o

Southern Koh Samui
Nice place to just chill:)


1-way al

I bought a new one

Over the weekend I visited several shops and I bought this bike at a drug store across from Carrefoure on DaDwun. Baby store 2900, Carrefoure 2500, Bike shop near my house 3100. I paid 2500 and thought I got a better product. I prefer my old bike, it was dialled in and reliable. This shiny blue one is pretty but the chain came off on the second day. I used the money I saved to buy a few locks.
I need this kind of bike.
I need to be more careful about where I lock up my bike.
Bike thieves suck.
Replacing the stolen bike was a good idea.

For John

sweet dreams fella

Bread posts it (again), it must be true!

Either Bread's long-term memory maxes out at one year, or someone is in denial about MTM.

下 一 項

Official Northern Command Web Site (aka, The Eight Drunken Fairies). Good, cheap bear and good, pricey food. Photos of the facility as well as bilingual menu.

下 一 項

The Council of Agriculture's Easy Agritourism web site lists Taiwan's top 10 tours. The Chinese site is much more extensive, listing contacts, travel packages and more photos, but the English site has some valuable info as well. For example, when you choose a location and click on Travel Tips on the left sidebar you can discover that in Alisan plants can attack. Their bites may be mean, but they won't cause death. Also, you should refrain from being Mister/Miss-too-adventurous into the bush.

Under the Speaking Chinese section you will find useful phrases suited for each location, as seen in the example below. Be careful, though. The lady speaking likes to shout, and I really mean shout, at least one of the words for each phrase.

(The third one sounds interesting.)

最 後

Today, I found out how to say herpes zoster in Chinese. For those interested it's 帶狀皰疹 - dai4 zhuang4 pao4 zhen3 - ㄉㄞˋ ㄓㄨㄤˋ ㄆㄠˋ ㄓㄣˇ

The Interminable Winter

Woke up to two more inches of snow this morning, April 23. We've been above freezing for about five days since November. Global Warming is such BS.

Dear Asshole,

Just like to send out a warm "Nihowdy-get-bent,you-fucking-jerk" to the man who stole my bike while I was eating dinner.
It is just not cool. I had so much fun with that bike, should I replace it? Should I tell a cop? Should I flood my neighborhood with M.I.A. posters. ex: Dear Shithead, buy your own bike. I need that one.
It is ironic to have my bike stolen just when I thought of a new use for it.If I had a car I could park anywhere and use the folding bike to taxi,ferry myself.

for John

The King says it, it must be true. This should put an end to your delusions of grandeur regarding Mary Tyler Moore's bosom.

Andrea Bocelli

I thought having already seen Jose Carreras and Luciano Pavarotti with my wife would have earned me enough husband points for life. Honey, I need a week in Vegas with the boys. No, problem. More like, no way. I had to complete the classical music trifecta last night with the Andrea Bocelli concert. Worse yet, was that it was the same day as the Chili Cook Off. She presented me with a fait accompli - tickets purchased without my knowing and then springing the concert on me as I was telling her about the meat I needed from Costco for my chili. Refund them! Can't (though I think she conned me on this one). Scalp them! There are still a few tickets left, can't take the chance. Give them away? They're $2,400NT apiece ($80 US). Ouch. Okay, what time's the concert?

Traffic in Taiwan. Motorists are like spoiled children who have been told once by their parents ( the police ) not to do it and then continue to push the boundaries to see how much they can get away with until mom and dad react. They're still pushing. Generally, they'll do what the other kids are doing until someone starts doing something different and enough people are doing it, making it safe for them to join in.

This night, most motorists were driving in the lanes for cars and not the narrow motorcycle lane on the side. Having policemen standing in the motorcycle lanes and making the cyclists swerve around them probably deterred them. That, or they thought they couldn't get to an ATM quickly enough to pay off the cops after hitting one of the lane-standers. I am sure their tickets were more expensive than ours and they were not going to risk being late. All except one lone taxi.

This little-taxi-who-wouldn't was zipping in and out of the motorcycle lane, looking as if it was trying to score a hit on any type of vehicle. But the cool crowd that night was having none of it. He just couldn't convince anyone else to come and play in the motorcycle lane, so he concentrated only on the motorcycles. He would feint to the inside lane and let a scooter start to accelerate past him in the motorcycle lane and the veer back over to the side, forcing the scooters to suddenly veer away or stop and turn off their cell phone to ask the person on the seat behind them what just happened. When he had eased up beside me in the car lane, he started to try to squeeze me off onto the sidewalk. I maintained 40 kpm and a straight bearing. His rear door finally started pressing against my leg so I took the opportunity to slam my fist into the door and yell a healthy string of constructive criticism at him. To my surprise, another scooterist joined in on my side encouraging him to reflect deeply upon his actions. Usually, messing with taxis is bad. Messing with Taiwanese is bad. I blame it on their math skills. They see 1 to 1 as too simple. They need something more complex, like fractions. So, being their country, they get to choose - denominator or numerator. They inevitably choose the denominator and will visit your house in forms ranging from 1/11 to 1/23 and beat you to a 1/100 of your life.

This time I was fortunate. He had pulled over to the curb and I pulled up beside him. Again, not the recommended move. The car was loaded. But it was loaded with Ma and Pa Chang and four more of their kin. My wife, yes, my wife, started into them before I could. I joined in explaining the obvious violations they committed. It wasn't to them. They gave us a big smile, bigger nonsense and then we scooted away.

From this point, things were different. For a two-block radius around the stadium there existed a traffic paradise. Cars obeyed the signals - and the several hundred cops - respected the pedestrians and followed the rules. It was as if the traffic cop honchos decided to give this enforcement of law thing a shot for once. Unless they conscript half the population into the Traffic Corps, I don't see this being replicated on a larger scale. But finally, we were in.

We had tickets midway down the first base line on the lower level. The stage was in the outfield section, straightaway center. Behind the orchestra and chorus was a big screen. There were two others flanking the stage. A final two more were posted at the 325 mark on the sides. Things seem to be starting on time. This announcement was repeated often. Welcome to the Andrea Bocelli Tenor Concert. Dude, beverage photoGRAPHY and foaming are not allowed. Thank you for your cooperation. I had to listen several times before I discovered that dudes and foaming were okay, but not food or filming. PhotoGRAPHY was a coin toss.

From left field comes a group of about 10 people to applause from about the same number. Woman behind me to her child: That's Ma Ying-Jeou. Ma Ying-Jeou. Do you see Ma Ying-Jeou? Oh, you don't know who he is. Well, I know who he is, but didn't know until today's paper that he was actually there. Whoopee! Celebrity proximity!

Warm up for the orchestra. Wow, this is really running smoothly. Now the conductor, Marcello Rota, enters. Thank goodness for the big screen, because people in the outfield look tiny from the first base line. If he pursed his lips, he could be the Italian Mr. Bean. Looks like they are starting. The program states the first number as one for the chorus. It's got a long Italian name and I'm not going to type it. Anyway, the show is starting. What! What the hell is this? This isn't any classical song from Nabucco! People are confused just like me, and about 10 seconds into the song, it hits everyone at the same time and...we...stand up. This, people, is the national anthem! Last heard by me at a movie theater years ago. No one ever sings this...wait, we are singing it now. Everyone. We finish. There is a lot of happy applause. The mood lifts and brightens noticeably. Well, I'll be.

Rota escorts Bocelli onstage and before we can rev up our anticipation, he begins. Songs are performed, Bocelli is escorted offstage, others - Maria Luigia Borsi, Gianfranco Montresor and Heather Headley - are rotated on and off. There is no time wasted. It is not rushed, but, however, proceeds at a brisk pace and never stagnates. The music. I cannot accurately comment on this type of music. I can say that it all sounded like what I thought it should. Bocelli's voice was sharp, clear and strong. The others as well, though I thought Montresor's baritone, while accurate, just seemed a little muddy compared to the clarity of Bocelli's tenor. The orchestra ( Evergreen Symphony Orchestra ) and chorus (Taipei Philharmonic Chorus ) were both tight and strong. This first half was over and we had a brief intermission which was timed to the second.

I recognized more songs in the second set. I also saw what I believe to be was my first classical music video. During a duet with Ms. Borsi, the screen behind the orchestra was showing Bocelli and another woman, maybe Borsi, in a video for the same song. Bocelli was standing on some red-carpeted stairs in front of a palace, library or someplace with columns and hundreds of marble stairs. There wasn't much to the video. Women would come to him, spin, wave their arms and he would extend a hand, tilt his head and occasionally turn his torso. Not much he could do being blind in the middle of all those stairs. Nonetheless, I'm counting it as a music video.

Equally impressive, to me, was the production quality. For the 15,000 in the stands and probably most of the 1,000 on the field, the screens were absolutely necessary. I have not seen camerawork, fade shots and shot selection this good on any TV show in Taiwan. If the oboe was being featured, the camera was already there with the shot. We got close-ups from different angles of the same person, overhead shots into the tuba, smooth pull-away shot, and great crane shots ( Johnny LaRue 萬 歲 !).

Call it the Italian in them or the KMT in me, but this was a well-run enjoyable event. I apologize for not commenting more on the music, but visit their sites and listen. They all have extremely incredible voices. That I do know. My wife loved it. I did also. I thank Mr. Bocelli for coming to Taichung ( his only other Asian venue is in Seoul) and sharing his music and now making my beard acceptable to my wife.

Men in a River

When I first moved to Taiwan I remember watching on National TV as three men clung to a rock in a rising river while the local government, the army and the hospitals determined whose duty it was to save the men. They eventually drowned as we all sat there captivated and disgusted. Even the helicopter filming never thought to fly down and save the men, apparently that would have been bad TV. Does anybody remember this incident? Can somebody find a Youtube link? I tried, but alas, no luck. I think it was down in Tainan, but I'm not sure. Much appreciate the help.

Northern Command notes last night -

John is eschewing tomorrow's chili cook-off on Soho St in favor of seeing blind tenor Andrea Bocelli in concert at 6 pm. This will be his 3rd tenor concert in Taichung, the first two being Carreras and Pavarotti. Rock on Opera John! Make sure you request Con Te Partiro. It's one of his best. Listen to how the crowd goes nuts for this tune!



If that doesn't get you going, here's a link to the techno version

I saw D-Wayne earlier in the week and he's going to be at the chili cook-off for sure. And just so everyone knows he's gonna get "...fucking hammered!"
Anyone for an over/under on how many of the 9 bands he moons?
Let's set it at 3...

Finally, we voted against any more pics of two faced babies on the blog...

Poor John's been afraid to come here all week.

Oh, and Aaron, can you lend John Civ III? Poor bastard tried to load Civ II the other night but couldn't play because it had no sound....

In search of a new drug

If you haven't heard, Kevlar gave up smoking.

If you ask him about it, all he'll say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time and that now he needs a new drug.

Help Kevlar choose a new drug.

Tasteless Post

Following a Fark link to a story about a female teacher who has been caught having sex with a student for the second time (different kid, too) I see this pretty amazing link within the story.

PHOTO GALLERY:
Click here for the photos of female teachers around the country who have been accused of having sex with students!

Yeah, it does need that exclamation point. 65 photos in the gallery!

Gobblers

Got home tonight around 7pm. Stopped to watch the aforementioned/photo'd turkey do an elaborate dance only to be shunned by the five females hanging in the yard. After thirty minutes, he gave up. Doesn't he know persistence pays off (occasionally)?

The coolest part was watching his face turn from red to a cool white and back again. He also kept his feathers up the whole time (no comment necessary) thereby giving me multiple opportunities to film some unsuccessful turkey foreplay. Unfortunately, I still don't own a camera.

One Dollar Koi

Cool Origami
At this web site can be found
in dollars not yen

Olympic protest news you probably already knew

From the Big Lizards blog, a post of a possible Chinese agent provocateur in the Paris incident in which a wheelchair-bound woman, who was carrying the Olympic torch, was pulled from her wheelchair by a Tibetan protester. Japan-based bloggers found a very different, interesting picture of the man who committed the act. Read all to see the Chinese bloggers' reactions.

Note: Link from Big Lizards to Japanese blogs offers one or two extra pictures, but the language is all Japanese.

North Korea Videos

There are about 14 in all. I haven't had a chance to watch them since I am at "work" but I suspect I will enjoy them.

Some people want to climb Everest before they die. I want to visit the last totalitarian communist regime with the added bonus of being Korean - a country that knows how to do chauvinism and xenophobia the right way!

Medical Marvels

I thought the story of the two- faced baby was so interesting I had to post after Red A's report on the lady and the lizard (good name for a short story). While searching for a good photo I came across several other wonderful stories.




Click here if you'd like to learn more about the world's smallest girl. Scroll thru some of the other interesting photos on this link.















Honestly, what about this story? A woman takes hormones to become a man, then gets pregnant?
This is not a hoax, but maybe old news. I just heard it a few weeks ago and you can check out the story here.
More on story here.




Who could resist mini muscleman Romeo Dev?









Finally, check out this couple . In love with strange tastes to say the least.

15 Years in Taiwan

and I still see things that are completely surreal.

Today I was driving to work and I saw a woman walking down the street wearing one of those flower-print face and head coverings that female construction workers sometimes wear here.

So far, so normal.

Then I noticed she had a large lizard perched on the back of her head. The lizard was about the size of an iguana but thinner and its head and body was about 10 cm into the air.

Both parties seemed pretty happy with the arrangement, so it must be a pet lizard, but it still made me do a double take.

I wonder if its some new fad that's just come over from Japan.

Wish I had a photo, but I was driving.

Must Be Nice

Check this out. Two hours for a passport.



HOWIGATI


Ponce drinking mescal again

Topless in TO

The Blue Jays wore their old powder blue road uniforms for the home opener against the Bosox last Friday night.

In the 9th some topless chick jumped onto the field with a guy and sprinted into the outfield. He was also topless.

Video here from the 1st base side and here from what looks like the upper deck in right but is the best shot of security tackling the male "streaker".

Olympic Protests

Here you can see the phalanx of Chinese security guarding the Olympic flame.

Miss Huq, one of 80 torchbearers said: "The men in blue perplexed everyone. Nobody seemed to know who they were officially or what their title was. They were very robotic, very full on, and I noticed them having skirmishes with our own police and the Olympic authorities before our leg of the relay, which was confusing.

"They were barking orders at me, like 'Run! Stop!' and I was like, 'Oh my gosh, who are these people?'

"They kept pushing my hand up higher when I was holding the torch, so they were...interesting."

Some guy named Lord Coe called them "thugs" in the article.

Might I suggest if the Chinese must have blue-suited paramilitary guards escorting the Olympic flame, they should have used female air force officers instead of males as the security team. No one minds getting pushed around by a hottie.

Yes, Ma'am, I have been a bad boy and welcome your punishment.

p.s. I can't decide if I support some kind of boycott or just don't care. Any opinions?

This photo finds me and some friends hanging out on my porch drinking martinis. Harry Fritz is a professor emeritus at the U (History) and has written several books on Montana history. Helia is an immigrant, US citizen, and only Persian chick in Missoula.

Harry knew how to call turkeys, and thus the male gobbler in the center of the photo is fanning (for Harry, not the hen). Click on the photo and you'll notice the turkey's head has changed to red, indicating the beginning of the mating season (normally their heads are blue).

Senator, Congressmen Please Heed the Call

Obama was in Missoula on Saturday. We were about 15 ft. away and were able to shake hands following the speech (notice how I framed him and the Montana flag together with my great photography skills). Love him or hate him, the man can speak. He had 8,000 of us eating out of the palm of his hand for the better part of an hour. Almost makes you believe in America again, especially when he discusses the chances of a black man with big ears running for president in Montana being not so high. Sadly, his race was noted at various events, as our resident White Supremists picketed the event in Butte and wrote graffiti on the local law offices of the Obama campaign.

Montana holds its Democratic primary on the June 3rd, the last in the nation along with South Dakota, meaning candidates (and spouses) are actually campaigning here. This week we saw Hillary, Bill, and Barack visit our fair state. No word on when Gravel is coming.

The Tonka IX issue, vol 8

Thai Tonka , building a better lady boyhood:)

Would u believe?

W U X W u x i

Did You Know?

• Over 19,454 passengers can travel out of WUX every week.
• The longest flight from WUX is 1,160 miles.
• There are 15 nonstop flights per week departing from WUX.
• There are over 14 international flights per week from WUX.

6 carriers servin this location each week.
1 of them is CUA (China United Airlines).
I wounder if they r a member of Star Alliance?


13

W u x i

Next stop..... W U X A P




forty four

WEL COME COMING

45 minutes outside Shanghai


eighty6

Let's take a little walk...

I know Bread's been to Spain....did you walk this path?

Update:
The wikipedia entry for this walkway is interesting as well.

Tibet WAS,IS,and ALWAYS WILL BE a part of China

Supposedly, it was this video that lead to the establishing of the anti-cnn web site by Chinese dissatisfied with CNN's and other western media outlets' coverage of the current events in Tibet. The web site sucks. Not because of the content, but because of the quality - and the use of simplified characters. Especially that. The use of simplified characters is right there with A-1 on you steak in terms of dumbness.

I only watched the first video which purported to show the anti-Chinese slant used by the media when editing. The last part of the video features an Indian TV interview with a Tibetan(?) woman. The English and Chinese subtitles match. However the women's spoken words do not match the Chinese subtitles. My problem is that her mouth doesn't seem to match the words she is supposed to be saying. It very possibly could be the video quality. She, whoever she is, also seems to have a stronger northern retroflex than what I remember hearing from those speaking Mandarin in Guangdong. Yes, I know the two are distant. Maybe others could help out in pinning her accent down, again, if that is her actually speaking in the first place.

But now on to the video. I watched and learned several important things. First, they use they same National Geographic map of the peoples of China that I had in high school. Can they tell me where I can get another? Secondly, whenever they get around to updating this video's title to include Taiwan, they need to change their maps. Not one of the three (well, the first two are a little difficult to make out, but the Ching Dynasty map is very clear) show Taiwan as being part of China. Thirdly, Europe is going to be very crowded. Fourthly, we must deal with a lot of things. One of them being (Fact 1 ), Tibet was,is and always be part of China because there are 56 ethnic groups in China.


Next is , well I sorta got lost thinking about my map. Watch it all. Lots of pretty pictures, except when talking about the Dalai Lama's Tibet.

Pumpin' out the Hits!

Every four years like clockwork mC CP (aka, Colin Powell) returns to the scene with more certifiable gold. Who can forget the 2004 straight-to-bootleg release cover of "Knuck You if Buck Freestyle" (There is only one China. Taiwan is not independent. It does not enjoy sovereignty as a nation) ?

He's at it again with the Wheelchair Thugz covering,again, Gangsta Nation (the biggest threat to a peaceful relationship with China would be Taiwan declaring its independence.
"And, frankly we can keep that from happening).

Great work, mC CP! Can't wait for 2012!

Fantasy Reading

Sandy pointed this out to me:

Otto von Bismarck at the Bat - The fight for the soul of my fantasy baseball league

Sexy CG vs. Realistic & Ho-Hum Holds?

Message for Ponce

Red State Update has moved here. Man those guys crack me up. Enjoy the Bill Richardson - Barack Obama interview.

Baseball Season 08 Predictions

I've had my nose in the books for too long this year. Fortunately this week at work has been S L O W. So I now have time to read about baseball and I can't wait for the season to start. Lots of things have been keeping me busy away from the office and I suppose the details of those events would be better left out of a baseball prediction column. I will add this it was a sloppy fantasy draft and the E's were unorganized and uninformed. The Liriano pick really shifted my game not to mention Swisher. Anyways, on to the column.
AL EAST
Look at the intensity in this man. He seems determined and tenacious, which best describe the Red Sox. I hate this team for obvious reasons but I have to predict them to finish at the top of the East for a second straight year. Even without oldman Schilling the Sox look to have a great pitching staff. I like the offense and I expect Mr. Attitude to have a bounce back year. It all spells trouble for other AL East teams.

The Yanks and Jays will battle things out for second in the division and all although "Mulliniks, who will be working 65 games as an analyst for Rogers Sportsnet and CBC, is calling the Jays to win the World Series" I don't find this even a possibility if the Jays continue to limp. As for the Yanks, if the team is counting on the arm of Mussina to be their number two guy? Oops Pettite? Do you get the message? Yanks need someone to break out this year to compete. Speaking of break out, I like the young talent the Rays have and feel they will upset a few series this year. Probably all against the Jays. Baltimore is awful, thank god the Jays can pound on them to boost up their record.
AL CENTRAL
I can't help but love the Tigers again this year. With the big trade they aquired Mr. Pound the ball Cabrera and Mr. Sloppy Joe Willis who might not even finish the season as a starter. It doesn't matter, I love the new big bat at third and a veteran led bullpen. Pitching is good enough to keep this team in an offensive battle and Verlander will win 20. I also like the Indians for the wildcard. I didn't think they had it last year, but I stand corrected. Look for a big year from Hafner and Sizemore and the Tribe will definately need Sabathia and Carmona to have twin seasons to last. I think the Sox will bounce back from a horrid last season. I'm sure they've got to have a sleeper pitcher but I'm not too sure who that is. This team loaded? Rumour has it Swisher will bat lead off? Old bats, could win. The Twins remain a team who will remain competitive but are in the rebuilding process. They have always had a great farm and I expect similar win totals to last year. The Royals will win more but still remain out of contention.
AL WEST
Look how you this team is. They were winning last season but to be honest it's going to be a toss up. The Angels bats are fierce and some say the pitching is strong in Seattle. I personally like the Angels, but where's the pitching? Santana can pitch at home and Lackey is a solid #1 . I doubt Hunter will have a repeat season and the whole AL West smells fishy to me. Perhaps the Rangers can rise up from an era of mediocrity and steal this division or the money ballers from Oakland play money ball again. Anyways, I could care less but I take offense over pitching in this division. Angels.

I was quite proud of picking A-ROD to be MVP even though I can't stand him and I'll go with him again. He's the real deal and I believe he should be compared to the legends of history. I think this year I'll pick Verlander to win the CY.

Playoffs
Tribe over Boston , Detroit over Angels
Detroit over Tribe

Just for fun. Check this out

3 degrees of separation

I think I know why March is not the tourist season in Germany. It's 3 degrees here in Mainz and raining and snowing and such. Spring has arrived!

Also, this is secular Germany and its Easter weekend, so almost nothing is open. Thank God the Turks keep the Kebab shops open, or I would have been starving. The Doner Kebab standard is great, but I tried a burrito-like Durum which was good as well.

Usually when I am in Germany I try to avoid eating German food (except for breakfast which they do so well you don't really need lunch or dinner.) But the employee has to try it. So we sit in some dark and musty "traditional" restaurant and I ordered her a Schweinhaxe, which is pretty much what it sounds like: some part of the pig hacked out and served with massive amounts of potatoes and sauerkraut.

Now, the employee is an asian female, so the waiter puts us up in the "romantic" balcony. Later on another whitey/asian female couple is sent up. Then a family comes up - asian father, German mother, with offspring. I am getting nervous. Should I feel comforted by all of the diversity, or are the Germans segregating us for some nefarious purpose?

I made the mistake of using my actual voice to order the Schweinhaxe and not pointing at the numbers, so the waiter insists I read my order as well, uhhhh, Bauernschamewaggggeh? I believe it is a version of the farmer's breakfast...so you can see, the Germans truly do breakfast correctly. Dr. Atkins would not approve.

Somehow I really fit in here in Europe. On Day 1 three different people asked me for directions, twice in Dutch and once in German. This has happened to me before. Next time I plan to have a massive Canadian flag on each piece of clothing and luggage to put a stop to this. I have a big suspicion that Karl might get similar attention in Germany except that everyone is asking him for weed, not for directions. That dude looks frickin' German. Like Rye looks Israeli-French. or J-hole looks Bosnian refugee.

Chinese Phrase of the Day

絕對的權力使人絕對的腐化

ㄐㄩㄝˊ ㄉㄨㄟˋ ㄉㄜ˙ㄑㄩㄢˊ ㄌㄧˋㄕˇㄖㄣˊㄐㄩㄝˊ ㄉㄨㄟˋㄉㄜ˙ㄈㄨˇ ㄏㄨㄚˋ

Paraphrasing of Lord Acton's "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Spoken by? President-elect Ma Ying-jeou last night after his victory. This short report from the China Times has several of his other promises in Chinese that is not too difficult to read with a little assistance from the Yahoo dictionary.

I should add that when Ma spoke the words about power, he said he acknowledged the truth of this and would strive to be careful and not abuse it.

TRICKS

• DPP accuses KMT of resorting to `non-traditional' tricks

• KMT Chairman, Wu Po-hsiung - "The number of dirty tricks that the DPP may resort to exceeds four or five hundred."

SLOGANS

• My first attempt at sloganeering in Chinese came in response to the pathetic attempts by the pan-blues to recall President Chen Shui Bian. After much anger and little thought, they came up with 倒 扁 (ㄉㄠˇㄅㄧㄢˇ) - Topple (Ah) Bian. Add a down turned thumb and an upturned nose and you have the equivalent of a six-year old sticking out his tongue and calling you a poopy head. In classic four-character Chinese style, I came to their rescue with 壓 扁 阿扁 ( ㄧㄚ ㄅㄧㄢˇㄚ ㄅㄧㄢˇ) - Flatten Ah-Bian. This has the beauty of using his own name coupled with 壓 to mean flatten. It also might be an inside rhyme, but I would have to check with DJ Red A to be sure.

• For the KMT I have a terse, polite response when confronted by all the flag waving, larynx-enhanced Hsieh supporters: 不 謝 !

• For the soon-to-be-disappointed Hsieh followers, I have prepared this for after Ma is sworn in. This works better visually, but I'm practicing making it work well when spoken. 馬 總 統. ( You have to look closely, but the second character has a strikethrough. Now do you get it?)

• For neither of the above: 選 馬 , 不 謝 . Figure it out yourself.

Alfredo Cipaloto

Much has been made about the Japanese internment camps here in the United States during WWII. What is often forgotten are the Germans and Italians which were similarly interned. Fort Missoula 'hosted' over one hundred Italians during the war, including Alfredo Cipaloto. I had the honor of singing with Alfredo over the past few years in a community men's chorus which he founded some 60 years ago.

A couple of weeks ago, he did what I thought impossible. He got me into a church, in a suit, and singing. His funeral that week filled the church with over 400 people. An amazing tribute to an amazing man. Click on this link to read about Alfredo and then click the link to the top right to see him in the Broadway Market which he ran up until his late eighties. The Greatest Generation indeed.

Flights to Canada, now boarding

The Taiwan presidential election is tomorrow. Here are the most recent TV ads by the candidates. The first one is from Ma Ying-jeou. It starts with various supporters stressing the need for change: change the times, the future and the current predicament. Then others from different areas around the country state their readiness. Ma then comes out after the horses run around and says that for the sake of Taiwan's future and next generation, Taiwan must...yes, change
This is the DPP's Frank Hsieh's commercial. His theme is guard and protect. He reminds us of Taiwan's experience with authoritarianism and the negative results. Oh, and parents, you need to teach your children well - especially about the things at the first of the commercial and the scary Mr. Ma pointing at you in the TV in the background.

I have been intrigued by both candidates rush to the center. Hsieh has distanced himself from President Chen and Ma made a remarkable, in my mind, turnaround this week. He had previously stated that the future of Taiwan was to be decided by people on both sides of the strait, i.e., Taiwanese and a billion-plus Chinese. Now he says that decision is reserved only for Taiwanese. He is also the loudest voice advocating a potential Olympic boycott. Pretty bold talk for a handsome KMT hand puppet.

Last night at Northern Command I asked D-Wayne and Rye why they thought this was happening and what the possible results might be. First let me add my thoughts. Ma is doing this because he is afraid that former AIT chairwoman Therese Shaheen will announce at Hsieh's election eve party tonight that his green card is still valid.

The KMT has made much about other officials having green cards in the past (if they be DPP). An election eve announcement without ample time to respond to or question Shaheen could/will/might/won't harm Ma's lead. I say this with such confidence because I am confident of only one thing concerning Taiwanese voters. There's no way in hell you can ever tell what they are thinking.

There probably are better explanations, but I thought Ma enjoyed about a 20% lead in the polls. My wife has been in the States for the last 10 days and I haven't had my usual daily news fix, so pardon any obvious reasons I have overlooked.

If I recall correctly, D-Wayne and Rye were pretty much of the same opinion. Ma is an asshole...and many other bad-word things. He definitely has a green card. He is a jackass. He is going to win the election. He is a horse's ass. And, this is where D-Wayne sorta confused me, after he wins China invades and he takes his millions and goes to China. Where he will live the life of a rich, privileged asswipe.

Sorry if I didn't get it down correctly, guys. But you can post and correct any errors.

Finally, I would like to know your ideas about the new Ma and election predictions and post-election results.

Broken Link on the Hsieh video. I will fix it soon, but both his and Ma's sites are down due to so much traffic. So, in its stead, here is a Hsieh girl video.

Red A's Spring Offensive

I am heading out tomorrow to Germany and Holland to visit customers. It should be a fun trip since its slushy and cold in Europe and I get to enjoy raising prices for my products by 20% as steel prices have soared last month. Nothing I like better than getting my teeth kicked in by a customer.

So far, I have seen my kid for about 5 days this month. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and her new Filipino accent is pretty cute too. (She actually does know there are two ways to say "elephant" E-luh-funt like Dad and E-Lah-Font like Violetta.)

Lucky for me the near collapse of the American economy coupled with ever-rising raw material costs means I could be seeing my kid a lot more. As in unemployed levels of quality time. I'll probably end up with a Filipino accent, too. Silver lining.

Fahrenheit

Can somebody please tell me the difference between Dior Fahrenheit 0 degrees and Fahrenheit Summer? I've been going metrosexual lately and need this question answered.

Beijing Olympics

Once they are finished, the Chinese can invade Taiwan safely. Now, I am sure the pan-blue election results will make that a non-starter, but let's go back in a time-warp to see what was said about an invasion of Taiwan in 2006.

Most of the initial fighting would be in the Zhong Zheng District, Taipei, which contains the Presidential Building, the Ministry of National Defense, and the Legislative Yuan.

Thank God I live in Taichung!

Infiltrators might receive some assistance from sympathetic elements within Taiwan's military and police, who are believed to be at least 75 percent pro-Kuomintang (KMT), and hence, pro-unification. Many could use taxis to move about the city unnoticed. Mainland Chinese prostitutes, already in abundance in Taiwan, could be recruited by Chinese intelligence to serve as femme fatales, supplying critical intelligence on the locations of key government and military leaders at odd hours of the night; death is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

No, I did not make that quote up. Lay back and think of China.

Except for special forces and the marines, it is unlikely that the rest of Taiwan's infantry brigades scattered across the island would do much. As the saying goes, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that matters." Taiwan's military is rife with lethargic and ineffectual troops just begging for their 20-month tour of duty to end so they can go back to their girlfriends and jobs.

Lethargic and ineffectual. That's what she said! (Joke courtesy of Malv.)

Taiwan's navy would have little to do in this war scenario, except sink like rocks.

Sink like R-O-C's.

Once Taipei was captured, a new government chosen by Beijing would be sworn into office. There would be plenty of Taiwanese politicians to choose from. It is well known there are many pro-China legislators who have investments in China and more than a few who have had private meetings with Beijing officials. The inauguration would be conducted in the spotlight of the international media, giving it some psychological legitimacy in the eyes of the international community. There would be too many pro-China people in the US State Department - privately relieved the Taiwan issue was finally settled - to say anything in Taiwan's defense.

Panda-huggers at State - what can't they do? Its a funny story in some ways, where the Chinese execute their plan flawlessly while the Taiwanese bumble along and are pro-China anyways. My experience in China is that ordering a meal there is a trial of great difficulty, let along organizing a combined armed invasion of the island of Taiwan, but they have been improving their service in the restaurants, and the PLA cannot be far behind.

Fu Bar in the News

John PlaGreco, who owns Fu Bar located in the building that was crushed, said he feared one of his employees was dead in the rubble.

"Our bar is done," he said. "The crane crashed the whole building. If I wasn't watching a Yankees game, I would've come to work early and gotten killed."

Karl is prepared to sue them for violating Trade Dress or some other arcane IPR law, but he needs a free beer first.

College Life

Yesterday I sat in the library from 1pm - 10pm, then went out with some friends and consumed mass amounts of vodka (and cranberry juice). Ended up at the Ox getting some late night Chicken Fried Steak. Stumbled back to campus (where my car was), determined I was too lit to drive it, and proceeded to crash on the law school sofa in the break room until now. It's 9am and I'm working a shift at the library, reeking of booze and cigarettes and listening to jackhammers go off in my head. I think I'm too old for this shit.

Back from China

Climbing over the Great Firewall to learn that the Canadians have been fighting with Taiwanese on TV. Why do I have to miss all the good stuff? I could have gone around town wearing a USA flag patch on my backpack to make sure all the locals know that I am not one of those god damned Canadians.

I also missed Tom coming to town. Thanks for the text message invites.

IBAF Over and Out

Friday Boxes... Everything was pretty much settled anyway. Korea beat Taiwan 4-3, Canada edged Germany 2-1, Mexico over Spain by the same score and the Saffies finally scored some runs! 11 of them but they gave up 13 in a loss to Oz...

Final Standings here

Canada, Korea and Taiwan qualify.

Over and out.

My new screen saver at work

My Taiwanese co-workers have swallowed what the Taiwanese media has said about Canada being "rude, rough, and unsportsman like". This photo stirs the pot in my office.

Canada Beijing Bound

March 13th box scores.

Canada hung on to beat the Koreans 4-3 in Taichung tonight. We took a 4-1 lead into the 9th and almost blew it. Korea has a scary offense. The 30 or so Canadians in the crowd were invited onto the field for a group pic with Team Canada after the game. We have officially qualified for the Beijing Olympics with the win. First defeat of the tourney for the Korea.

In other games the Aussies took down Spain 9-0, Taiwan beat South Africa 4-0 and Mexico shut out Germany by the same score 4-0.

Germany v Canada tomorrow in Duo Liu.

Koreans play Taiwan at 6:30 which is sure to be a packed house here in Taichung.

Wednesday Boxes

Recap of Wednesday's games.

Yang Chien-fu pitched a complete game 4 hitter against the Aussies for the hosts.

Canada waxed the Spaniards. Korea skinned the Krauts and qualified. Fernando Machado struck out 18 as Mexico handled the Saffies. Box scores at this link.

Tenth Inning Canada VS Chinese Taipei

Interesting for the crowd and the audio of the Chinese coach with the umpire.

Monday Game Picture

This misleading picture maybe implying that Canadians are violent.

Monday Nights Game

The title says "He did it on purpose!"
I am looking for more info because the 5th grade is confessing to throwing trash at the Canadian team. I only caught the 9th and 10th innings. I checked the Taipei Times. It said after making contact with the taiwanese catcher the Canadian was out. In celebration the catcher threw the ball up and it hit the Canadian on the helmet... which led to both benches clearing.

click the title for the link to the Taipei times article.

Canada v. Taiwan

Here are yesterday's box scores. Today is an off day.

I was at the Canada - Taiwan game last night in Taichung.

It was one of the best live baseball games I've ever seen.

Of course, it was all the sweeter because Canada won.

It was packed tight. And it was loud. Real loud.

Our seats were in the upper deck right behind home plate. Great view of the field.

Here's a quick run down.

Top 1 - Canada bats. We go down in order.

Bottom 1 - With men on first and third, our shortstop throws away a sure DP. TW scores 2 unearned runs. 2-0 TW.

Top 2 - 2 bunt singles, a sacrifice and a couple hits tie it up. 2-2.

Scoreless through the 3rd and 4th. Both pitchers settle in a bit. We go for a beer run and a smoke.

Top 5 - A hard slide into second breaks up a Taiwan DP and Stubby Clapp scores. 3-2 Canada.

Top 6 - Nicolas Weglarz launches a laser beam over the right field fence. 4-2 Canada.

It gets almost quiet in the place, but not really. We celebrate wildly.

Bottom 6 - The real drama starts. The wave circles the park a couple of times. Canada quickly gets 2 out. Shortstop Lin Chi Sheng singles off our 3rd baseman's glove. Chang Chi Hsien lines one off our shortstop's glove. 1st and 2nd. Luo Kuo-hui drives a 3-1 pitch over the right centre field wall. Shit. The stadium erupts. 5-4 Taiwan.

I actually had my camera rolling for that homer and caught some of the initial madness on digital. I stopped filming pretty quickly. Don't know why. I think I was in shock. Or annoyed. Definitely drunk by this time. It happened so fast.

Here's 8 seconds of it...

Luo's 3 run shot, crowd goes nuts
Uploaded by ryanator

I snap out of it for minute and take these 12 seconds of a happy Taiwanese crowd...

Taiwan Baseball Fans
Uploaded by ryanator

Top 8 - Still 5-4 Taiwan. Taiwan starter Ni gets lifted with 2 out in the 8th. Reliever gives up a single to Jimmy Van Ostrand. Walks Weglarz. Up comes Emerson Frostad to pinch hit. We're on our feet. Frostad lines a hard liner into shallow right. For some reason the Canadian third base coach sends Van Ostrand. The throw from right field beat the runner easily and he bowls over the catcher with an excellent hit, trying to dislodge the ball. Third Out. Shit. Crowd goes crazy. The catcher, Yeh, I think, then spikes the ball at the feet of Van Ostrand as he walks back to the dugout. Van Ostrand takes issue with this. There are words. The Taiwanese manager emerges pointing a finger at someone. Benches clear. There's pushing and shoving. Some assholes in the crowd start throwing bottles on the field. The bottles are being thrown deliberately at the Canadian players and bench. There seems to be the impression throughout the crowd that the hit on the catcher was out of line. I don't think it was. (And I've just now watched the replay on TV. It wasn't.) "THAT'S BASEBALL!" we shout. My throat is killing me. I curse a blue streak in the general direction of the bottle throwers. "THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!" god we're worked up. Police are deployed throughout the stadium and the game is delayed at least 20 minutes.

I'd like to send out a big Ni Howdy Fuck You to those assholes who threw shit on the field last night. You're a disgrace to your country and the game of baseball.

Interestingly, the replay on TV tonight didn't show any of the melee and none of the bottles being thrown on the field.

Top 9 - With 2 out and nobody on Stubby Clapp gets an infield hit on a close play at first. There's hope. Wild pitch. Oh baby. Stubby's on second. Mike Saunders singles to right. Stubby rounds third and slides. Safe! Ohhh BABY! Yeah! We freak out. My throat is on fire. 5-5. Stubby does some acrobatic flips on the way to the dugout. He's mobbed by his teammates. The crowd is stunned and gets quiet for a few minutes before the side is retired.

Nothing across for the Taiwanese in the last half of the 9th.

Top 10 - We get a lead off single followed by a double to the gap in right centre. We score. 6-5 Canada. We get a third hit and actually have 1st and 3rd with nobody out but can't push any more across.

Bottom 10 - Taiwan gets 2 hits and 2 men on before grounding into a game ending double play. We go nuts. We can't believe it. I am so happy I hug Dwayne and rub his belly. We stagger out. Dwayne is wearing a Canadian flag as a cape.

We talk to a lot of Taiwanese after the game. A lot of them want to take Dwayne's picture. They shake our hands and say congrats, good game. Excellent sportsmanship shown. All of them apologize for the behavior of the bottle hoodlums and want us to know that is not representative of the majority of Taiwanese.

Fantastic.

Canada v. Korea Thursday night in Taichung.

See you there.

Announcements

Congratulations to our man Dean for getting married on Friday afternoon.

We here at Ni Howdy wish him and Elena all the best.

Also, I am nominating Dean Baseball Fan of the Season for spending his entire honeymoon/wedding weekend at the ballpark (Taichung and Dou Liu, 4 games total) drinking beer with his buddies while his new bride worked.

Way to go, Deano.



*EDIT 3/11 - Dean's wife's name is Helena, not Elena as written above. Damn silent H's.

More Box Scores

I'm a poor correspondent.
Here's a link to Saturday's box scores. We caught Canada's drubbing of the Saffies but left early cause some guy in the press box threw a ball back into the crowd and hit the Sandstress on the head. She was nursing Burl at the time. She's fine. Indignant but fine. Thankfully it didn't hit little Burly or the other 2 babies sitting there with their mothers.

Korea smoked the Aussies. No, eviscerated would be a better description. It was painful. And the Korean section was really noisy about it too. Damn those plastic bats. They had hot cheerleaders though.

Here are Sunday's box scores. The Krauts gave CT a run and only lost 2 - 0. I watched that game on TV cause I couldn't find the Canada - Australia game anywhere. They showed a replay later but only after I already knew the score. I knew that OZ wasn't as bad as the Koreans made them look on Saturday night. Canada fell 10 - 5. Sad news. I received a couple updates from Deano in Dou Liu. There sure wern't many people there...

Tonight Canada plays CT. I'm headin out there assuming the rain hold off.
CT and Korea are both 3-0. Canada, OZ are at 2-1. Complete standings here.

March 7th IBAF Box Scores

Canada beat Mexico in a barnburner, CT routed the Spaniards, OZ beat Germany, Korea shut out the Saffies.

Baseball Coming 7th- 14th

Baseball Saturday afternoon at the intercontinental stadium in Taichung.

Canada vs. South Africa at 12:30.

Dwayne and I are taking out families up for the game. Come join us!

Hope to return later in the evening for the Korea - Australia match up.

John Kuhel and his minions from Tainan will be there.

Sunday baseball has Canada vs. Australia at 12:30 in Dou Liu.

Dou Liu is 45 minutes south of Taichung on the 3, I think.

Word is that ballpark may be the nicest in Taiwan.



I know Dwayne and Dean are planning to go.

I may talk the fam into a Sunday drive as well.

Korea v. Mexico at 6:30 same ballpark.

Monday night in Taichung Canada v. Chinese Taipei.

Dwayne and I already have tix. Deano's coming too and another feller.

They supposedly have outfield bleachers now installed at the intercontinental stadium so it'll no doubt be easier to just show up to the host games and get a seat.

Canada v. Korea 6:30 Thursday the 13th in the Chung too.

Top 3 teams advance to the Olympics in Beijing.

See yous at the ball park

The Tonka VIII issue, vol 7

Tha front end loader issue.........

P a r i s

Not Texas!
Watch ur step.......

L A X L o s A n g e l e s

Did You Know?

• There are 1,585 flights per week flying on small aircraft from LAX.
• There are over 4,502 domestic flights per week from LAX.
• There are over 2,643 long haul flights per week from LAX.
• There are 59 airlines operating out of LAX.

56 airlines daily.........

It's a beautiful day so far and before I go and meet Mr. Bean at the mom & pop ( where I can run a tab ) for a frosty adult beverage or two, I'll leave with one congratulatory remark, a question and a suggestion.

• Congratulations to the Red Raiders. After getting walloped by A&M by 44 points, they beat the Teasippers, 83-80, in Lubbock. Yes, they are probably going to be watching the tournament on TV, but it was a good win. New coach Pat Knight has evidently watched Mr. Woodcock recently.
• Beer Factory? On Saturday, huh? Well, I was there at the scheduled time and failed to see any co-drinkers. D-Wayne, i am there ?
• Five links that I think are worth your time to view. Two are about the Laffer Curve. It includes both conservative and liberal misconceptions. Another two are about income disparity in the U.S. The final one is part of the Drew Carey Project for reason.tv.

Laffer Curve Part I (video)

Laffer Curve Part II (video)

The Upside of Income Inequality (article by a Nobel Prize and the Clark Prize winners)

You Are What You Spend ( NY Times Op-Ed from two guys at the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank)

Education Revolt in Watts (reason.tv video)

What's goin' on.

Well, it's been a little over a month since I stepped out from behind the bar, and all is good. More time with the family, which is great. And having weekends off is cool, but I do miss seeing everybody on a regular basis. And paying for beer is not pleasant at all. The last night at FuBar was a heck of a party. The beer was flowing, people were happy and my dad was hammered and trying to pick up the local talent. After meeting my dad, people have a better understanding of why I am like I am. Thanks to all for making my two years as Laoban extremely enjoyable.

We went to Taipei on Thursday to get my passport and decided to go to the zoo. It wasn't too cold and the place was very busy.


in the penguin house

spanking the monkey, literally

near one of the food stands

Trey has reached a critical point in his development where he needs to know all. So he asks "Why?" All the freakin' time. "Why?" I tell him to go ask his A-Ma. She knows everything.

Wives sure are funny sometimes. I got a text message from Dino regarding the bash at the beer factory and was trying to figure out a way to broach the subject with Winnie (seeing as everytime I go there, somebody spikes the beer). And she mentioned it to me. Even asked if I needed any money!! Glory Glory! Praise Jebus!

Here's a HOWIGATI.

And the MVP.



one for the Grand Poobah

git yer, uh, guns up!