Talking With CoWorker

CW: Feel free to slow down anytime. We're not in any big hurry.

H: We're barely over the speed limit. Relax.

CW: Hey! Check it out. Isn't that a '57 Chevy?

H: Uh, actually that's a '55.

CW: How would you know the difference?

H: Well, the '57 has those famous tailfins and the '56 is more squared off.

CW: Oh great. Another car guy, just like my husband.

H: Actually, I'm not much into cars at all.

CW: Hey, he's pulling into that car show. Lets stop for a bit and check it out.

H: Sounds good. Just have to find a place to park.

CW: There's a spot right next to that Mustang.

H: Uhm...that's a '67 Cougar, not a Mustang.

CW: I thought you said you're not a car guy.

H: I'm not.

CW: Then how do you know exactly what it is?

H: I don't know. I grew up with these cars. I can tell you the make, model & year of just about every car produced between '65-'75. In fact, so can most guys my age.

CW: Every car?

H: Most anyway. Some of those 20' yachts you saw on Hawaii Five-O managed to escape my attention.

CW: Why on earth would you guys remember all of this stuff?

H: It's how we spent our youth. It was where we partied. Where we met chicks. It's etched into our memory banks & apparently only alzheimers is gonna scrub it out.

CW: So fifty years from now, when your eyes and memory are failing you, you'll still be able to tell a '67 Cougar from a Mustang.

H: Yup.

CW: I guess that's why guys thought Marissa Tomei was so hot in "My Cousin Vinny."

H: Marissa Tomei would be hot in anything. But yeah, that whole posi-traction bit definitely didn't diminish her sex appeal. What I had trouble with was her & Joe Pesci together.

CW: Maybe she had a Helen Keller moment.

H: A Helen Keller moment?

CW: Blind wouldn't cut it for Joe Pesci. You'd have to be deaf too.

H: Gotcha.

CW: So why don't you sell cars for a living?

H: I don't know anything about cars today except that they all have names like Alero and X-tera. I guess they want us envision ourselves driving on the moon or something.

CW: So why not sell vintage cars?

H: Cause I'm not a car guy. I be spotted as a fraud in two seconds.

CW: But you know so much about them. How could you be made as a fraud?

H: Because they don't get me excited like they do car guys. I have more of a matter of fact appreciation.

CW: So what gets you excited?

H: Well, Marissa Tomei for starters.

CW: Never mind. What's that thing doing here?

H: The Miata? It's in the show. They're good looking cars & fun to tool around town in.

CW: Yeah, I know, but isn't it a bit out of place with all these classics?

H: Well, it's a small car show and sometimes they bring these in to fill out the lot.

CW: But wouldn't people make fun of him.

H: No. That's the beauty of car shows. Car guys appreciate anyone else who shares their passion, and don't care what you drive in. It's the same with air shows. They just want to talk cars or planes for a while.

CW: So they're not very judgemental at all? I expected the opposite.

H: It's kind of cool. In fact, I should try to become more like these people & be less judgemental.

CW: What about dog shows and Star Trek conventions?

H: You're right. It'd never work. I might have a Charles Manson moment.

CW: Charles Manson had a harem of women who did anything he wanted. Wouldn't guys want that?

H: But they were all crazy.

CW: Sounds like a small price to pay.

H: Ok. Imagine this: You're a guy. You have 3 girls who'll do anything you want them to do. Sounds good so far right?

CW: Real good.

H: Ok. Now imagine their names are Paris, Lindsey and Britney. Now imagine you have to spend every waking hour of every day listening to them.

CW: Wow! It's a wonder he didn't kill more people.

H: I'm not sure he actually did any killing, but I'm sure glad I'm not Charles Manson.

CW: And I'm glad I'm not Hellen Keller.

H: Don't wanna be deaf and blind?

CW: Don't wanna be mute. If I were, I'd have to write out all of my stupid conversations.

H: Good god! And someone would have to read them.

CW: Exactly. Besides, I wouldn't be able to see the cars.

H: Enough already.

CW: I'm glad we stopped. Car shows are pretty cool.

H: Yeah. I think so too.