GREAT WHITE NORTH GEOGRAPHY LESSON

D-Wayne's right!!! Canada Day is tomorrow!!!! In preparation, watch as Bob and Doug take you on a tour of the GREAT WHITE NORTH...

They even go as far to mention Canada's neighbours...Florida and Mexico...

Canada Day, Eh?

THE GREAT WHITE NORTH! It's Canada Day tomorrow. Hosers and non-hosers alike are invited to a free chicken BBQ at FuBar.I know J-Hole will be there in spirit (he being a great lover of all things Canadianer). Even bloggers that dislike Canadianers, and he knows who he is, are invited.

4 things i hate about World Cup...

1. the games are on too freakin' late.
2. Diving
3. Players and coaches complaining about other teams diving.
4. Soccer

What you have been waiting for..

another installment of D-Wayne's HOTW. I mean, if you like girls.

Kevlar Har Har

We've been going to the batting cages at lunch time for the last few months now. With school officially over for the summer, it'll be awhile before we resume whackin' them balls. This is not Kevlar's best moment but hey it is a moment...

He's really not that bad.

JOIN THE PEOPLE'S LIBERATION ARMY!

11 votes can make you president of the USA

The Skeptical Optimist explains how just 11 people can make someone president.

The blog also has a lot of very educational posting on economics and the national debt. If you are into that sort of thing. For example, a nice graphic on comparative national debt and good news for Canadians (well those that aren't earning their income in NT dollars that is.)

Oh, but what does it matter anyway if you spent NT$ 14,000 at a KTV to celebrate the end of the school year? Here's something to cheer you up. (You know who you are.) Kevlar also knows.

Color Photos and Video from WW II

A really neat website full of color photos and video from WW II.

Henry on the Er Hu

Henry on the Er Hu

Watch the video

Zeng Yan-qiao on the erhu. National Taiwan champion for his age group.

Not a video

One image of a podium. Rye fell off his high horse and plans to give all future speeches from ground level to better reach the common man. One pic of a three wheeled motorcycle carting a wall up the street. The new Segway, with a single prop and a small gas engine. New laws state this wind driven machine is suitable to Taiwans eco-friendly traffic laws. A traffic cop on the scence informed me the traffic laws have been changed so the new Segway will be allowed to attach a paraglider, and avoid traffic snarls.

Giant Centipeds Part II

This time instead of eating a rat, it eats a bat.

I for one welcome our giant centipede overlords.

Bonus: You really have your head up your ass. Errr, I mean the elephant's ass.

one for all you kindergarten teachers...

courtesy takapaiki...

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!

Some kid said this exact thing to Kevlar the other day.....

NSFW. Or kids...

HAPPY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL EVERYBODY!!!!

It's Thursday

That means another HOTW. Ali Landry, Doritos. 'nuff said.

short South Park clip

as long as we're showing comedy this week...

World Cup Match: Turkey vs. Brazil

Okay, it's an old 2002 World Cup photo, but I think it's still relevant.

NSFW.

This Hour Has 22 Minutes "Talking to Americans"

Kids in the hall .. Running Faggot..

Ok one more.

Kids in the hall.. Canadian Comedy

BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS!

METROSEXUAL IS NOW "OUT" AND MACHOSEXUAL IS "IN."

This links up with New Yorkers thinking 70's porn and mustaches are now cool.

Now, all we need is Howard Dean to confirm that he thinks Machosexuals should be allowed to get married so Bread and J-Hole can have one of their patented arguments where they shout over beers despite the fact that they actually agree with each other.

Then Bread yells "Because they are faggots" at the top his lungs thereby confirming that gentle, nurturing folk from Montana are really quite frightening after a few vodka crans.

Okay, enough reminiscing (sp?) let's distill the article to find out what we need to do to be Machosexual. I will use a bullet point list because that seems sort of macho.

• be competent, be traditional
• be in touch with your feminine side but don't wear it on your sleeve
• work in a coal mine and rush into burning buildings
• kill spiders and drive a hybrid car
• wear a suit and tie for the office

Frequently Asked Questions:

• I assume that as a machosexual I can no longer drink wine coolers, wine spritzers, or any alco-pops. Does that also include the new Taiwan gold medal beer designed to be sweeter for sissies?
• I'm not sure a suit and tie are really appropriate for rushing into a burning coal mine. Could I wear a colorful pair of overalls instead?
• If I can't wear my feminine side on my sleeve, where should it be placed? Could I store it in my 'taint' area as that place doesn't get too much play as it stands?
• I get the deal about driving over spiders in my hybrid monster truck, but in my family, traditionally the males are lazy sloths. How do I reconcile that with being competent? Or is that referring to the bare minimum "legally competent?"
  

And what about this part?

It's about competence, care and being there to value and care for family and children."

The new macho yet sensitive role models are actors such as Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman and Heath Ledger, Perrine said.

It's seems very confusing to consider Russell Crowe a role model for "being there to value and care for family and children." Unless that's code for visiting German strip clubs.

By the way, my nanny has gone back to Vietnam, so now I am never going to get out of the house. Yeah, not much of a change, except before I could imagine it being possible. Now it's only theoretical if say the USA gets into the World Cup Finals.

Korean Girls want sex with Americans

-OR-

They have watched Team America too many times. Fuck Yeah!

UPDATE: This was originally just a one-off joke post...but I thought since we had some interest in North Korean photos before...

I guess they don't have much internet access in South Korea, or maybe these girls would be aware of how close they came to a different sort of lifestyle. Read the related story, then watch the video. Notice how they are erecting the posts even before the verdict is given...

36,576 fucking Americans died in Korea.

At least two North Korean defectors re-entered North Korea to secretly film those executions...I think I respect them a little more than the Hello Kitty Kommunist girls. (The protest is a far-left South Korean teacher's organization.

DOUBLE UPDATE: I think this photo might be old, because there is a Korean song with the same name...so maybe the songwriter should be sueing the South Park guys...and as Andre in comments says, let the kids have their fun. Okay, okay, as long as I get to drink Hite Prime.

Ahem, Kevlar!

I will be leaving these on the corner of Mei Tswun Road and Hsiang Shang Road at 7:00 pm this evening so you can beat all the old Taiwanese scavengers to it - they'll all be in bed prepping for 4:00 am the next morning, or drunk on moonshine Gao Liang. Put them in the tank of that motorcycle or scrape some off and put in on toast to counter whatever indigenous psychedelics you've been ingesting lately. Regardless, I'm sure you'll find a use.

Awards

Kirin is telling me Dean-A, El Dino, Dean-diggly-Dee// Dean-o-rama-a-lama-ding dong. Should win an award. Shouting him a beer is not enough. I think he should have a house party, kinda of a house-warming, cold beer event. Something to kick off the summer. Maybe some Zoots and some tunes. Before too many skip town. Something fun.

I am not the only one who wants to get out and paint some towns red.
Back to the point. What awards should Dee-anne-De be nominated for? Monday is coming, What wonderful things will he pull off then? Who knows, but I think he should get an award.

J-hole should host a HELL-IT-IS-HOT end of spring, WELCOME summer BBQ event. With enough promo, that dick Bread might even make an appearance. St-R-inky is itchin to paint a chapel. A-Roder should return soon.
And to quote Frenchie " So you see, my point is, is this, ya see" .
It is Sunday night, B and Q is still open. Lets stir some paint. See if something will not happen.

Next weekend is coming. WILL YOU BE PREPARED??

Feel free to list awards for various bloggers, and De-An-La.

BWBA /BWSA

Problem: High school graduates' and theater majors' incessant bitching and moaning about the world (read: the US) and the importance of listening to them.

Solution: Big Wresting Brothers / Sisters of America. Under this program, selected celebrities would be paired with peer guide wrestlers for a period of 3-4 months, or until their death, whichever comes first. Celebrities would be given demonstrations of separating entertainment from reality, learn the names of the other 48 states and master taking a punch. Celebrities would be paired with wrestlers who could attend to, and remedy any of the celebrities' particular cognitive defects.

Suggested Pairings: Michael Moore and Dusty Rhodes

Dusty: Ahh, Mr. Moore. A gen-u-ine puh-leasure to make your acquaintance, sir.

Moore: Likewise. So, I hear you and I have something in common. We are both salt-of-the- earth people who care about the common man.

Dusty: Ah, Brother Moore. Ahm soo glad to hear you sayin dat. I AM the American Dream.

A humble son of a plumber, Ah came out o poverty to entertain millions and I just thank

Gawd, people like yourself believe in the American Dream, Ah...

Moore: American Dream! American Dream! What are you talking about you right wing stooge? I...

Dusty: Funkylikeamonkey. Funkylikeamonkey. FUNKYLIKEAMONKEY!

Moore: What are you.....? Oh, my.... SPLATTTT!

Dusty: I see you met the Bionic Elbow. Thank ya very much, suh.

Tim Robbins and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Robbins: Rock, good to meet you my Afro-Samoan oppressed brother of color.

Johnson: Uh, yeah. Call me Dwayne. Rock is my stage name, you know?

Robbins: Stage name? Hardly. You.Are.The.Rock. The People's Rock. You came up through a corrupt system that tried to stifle your advancement and...

Johnson: Excuse me, but I got a scholarship to the U of Miami in football and got my B.S. in criminology. How about yourself?

Robbins: Uh, I proudly graduated from UCLA.

Johnson: Hey, that's great. What did you study?

Robbins: Theatre.

Johnson: I'm sorry. What did you say?

Robbins: THEATRE! Okay?

Johnson: Did you pronounce that with a -re? You did, didn't you?

Robbins: Umm.... Hey! What about the gay marriage thing? You're political right? Because my partner and I have been actively working to get everyone to support the right of gay marriage.

Johnson: Your partner? I didn't know you were gay.

Robbins: I'M NOT, YOU...you misunderstood me. I meant my spiritual guide, soul-mate, life-affirming partner through life.

Johnson: Oh, your wife!

Robbins: NO! She is not my wife! She's my spiritual guide, soul....what I just said, that!

Johnson: Oh, I see. You're shacking up with her.

Robbins: Yeah.

Johnson: So why do you want me to support an issue that you don't deem valuable enough to be part of your own life?

Robbins: It's not about me or my partner. It's about the others that are being denied the same privileges and rights that your and your wife enjoy.

Johnson: But you don't really support it or else you would get married. At least for your childrens' sake. Are you sure you're not gay? Thinking about?

Robbins: You obviously did not acquire the proper critical thinking skills at...

Johnson: Shhhhh! Hear that? Incoming!

Robbins: Ohmygod! Is it Cheney's Black Hordes! KERSPLATT!!!

Johnson: Nope. That was the People's Elbow, punk. Maybe Anderson Cooper could explain it to me.

North Korea Pics

This is a repeat of the previous pics, but now someone has translated the Russian notes. There is another set from someone else on page 5 or so of the message board.

Also, Hitler Cats.

God is Dj

In case you haven't seen it, the link God is Dj is quite the link over on Chewin in the Chung.
About a year ago, a good friend of mine known as Garrett (made in Canada with pine trees around forearm), gave me this link.
Breakdancing Transformers. The creator of this vid could be God and is also quite a good DJ.

Road Paint in June

Stay safe.

Co-worker of the year

This young man who never reads this blog has been slugging away for two weeks growing his beard. His students sometimes sit and watch it grow. I recently gave him one of the combs Bread couldn't throw away, to keep the beard hair RICE FREE.
He enjoys reading, talking and playing word-tricks on Canadians.
He has no freetime, and he enjoys most things to the fullest. He recently purchased a hunting vest so he could keep his cel phone, PDA, i-pod, Mp-3 and chinese cue cards closer to his breasts.
Rye was un-able to attend the co-worker of the year ceremony, because he can't find time to be civil. Rye is now painting the inside of his cave and chanting words that rhyme with nipple.

Bike for sale: Slightly used

I think this little lemon is beyond repair. 10 nt says the teenager driving it is pretty sore.

Here Here D-wayne

I have no idea who these girls are, where they come from or what hit tv series they are from.

I do know that they are into water sports.

As am I.

I post this photo as a challenger to D-wayne's hottie of the month.

NSFK/R

In an effort to prevent Ni Howdy from becoming known as a gay blog, not that there's anything wrong with that, I am instituting HOTW (Hottie of the Week). First up is one of my personal faves, Elisha Cuthbert. Miss Cuthbert hails from Calgary, Alberta, CANADA. You have seen her on the hit show 24, and on the cover and inside of magazines such as Maxim. She is everything i look for in a girl. Namely, she is of the female variety.

Just a reminder!

Michael Moore could be watching you from inside your television tonight if you tune into HBO at 9pm.

For those of you who don't know, this documentary is pure fact. Nothing has been exaggerated at all. I'm sure every Texan owns a hard and soft cover version of the book. Their shelves are filled with VCD's, DVD's and VHS cassettes. When you finish watching this movie you should immediately watch loose change @ http://www.loosechange911.com/ .
The Truth is out there! (play spooky music here).

P.S. To show your appreciation, you may order hats from Karl.

Young John Cool

18 year old John. Courtesy takapaiki

Is that Will Ferrell with him in the pool?

John Bobbit Wuz here

Are there any good wrestler's today?

I'm sorry, but if you are a wrestling fan, or were a wrestling you need to check out this link from sports illustrated.

The top 10 wrestlers of the 80's and 90's.

Hilarious! I just watched the famous Hogan vs Andre match of Wrestlemania III. I haven't seen it since I was a kid. Check out some of the other great links.

I would have to agree with a lot of the list. However, a few of my favorites would have to be .......

1) Jake "the Snake" Roberts and the DDT BOA combo
2) "The Macho Man" Randy Savage for the lovely Elizabeth
3) and if Stone Cold Steve Austin wasn't responsible for bringing back wrestling in the 90's I don't know who was.

Cast your vote today!

I want one

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This guy has a great idea. I think it is time to go to the hardware store.
Now I just installed firefox.. if this link works firefox is better than Safari.. which is better than mac explorer (which always crashes). or just google poorman steadycam. he has cool demo video

Hell on two legs

A three year old genius. She was trying to plug in various appliances into a power bar to get them to work. First you plug the power cord into the power bar, then the other end into the device. Then push the power button and a green light comes on. Then you un-plug both ends of the power cord and go back to step one. She did a phone charger, tv, computer LCD screen and a hair dryer. I had to secretly un-plug the powerbar behind the sofa... to avoid her from having WAY too much fun. Which caused her to go back several times to check the switch on the powerbar.
Her guardian, had only left the room for a few minutes when she began imitating what she had seen the adults do.

You don't have to ask. I have my fingers crossed.

My new nephew

Fresh from the oven. Weighing in at 3100 g.

Pepper here and there, but no salt.

Does anyone know the correct ( better) names for these vegetables?

For Red A

This guy's got a neck beard too!

Here's lyrics to song devoted to your kind!

Moustaches are cool again

According to this article, New Yorkers are growing moustaches again. Whatever.

But for some reason I googled one of the names in the article, "ultra-trendy fashion photographer Terry Richardson" and clicked on "images." I wanted to see what kind of moustache he had.

Boy oh Boy oh Boy oh Boy - I think ultra-trendy fashion photographer in New York translates into pornographer everywhere else! NSFW...

Who took 1970’s porn esthetic and made it fashion chic? Terry Richardson. Who made the trailer park trendy and the tractor hat de rigueur? Richardson again. Who’s equally at home in Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Purple and Vice? Our boy Terry. Who uses his fashion money to fund an X-rated website? Yes, Richardson. And who can’t resist getting his clothes off and jumping in front of his own lens? Well, that would be Terry Richardson as well.

Porn stars, supermodels, transsexuals, hillbillies, friends, pets, and celebrities all do for his lens what they’ll do for no other. And if anyone ever wonders why they did it, just blame it on Terryworld, where taboos are null and void, and fashion finds sex a perfect fit.

Now, when does the NECK BEARD become cool? Cuz I got that one covered.

Alas, the neck beard and myself will be in China for one week. Wish me luck with my very important meeting with a chain store that's name starts with the word "Office."

Na Na Na, gonna have a good time.

Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, The Banana Splits, Condorman (Japanese - definitely check this out and note the Condor car and the villain with the cigarettes), all those scary Sid and Marty Kroft shows, The Dukes of Hazzard, Welcome Back Kotter and mucho, mucho mas! Retrojunk has lots of TV intros for shows from the 70s, 80s and 90s.

I have decided. My new dancing style will be based upon the Oak Ridge Boy who looks like Bobby Bittman. It's all in the arms! Or arm! No footwork and a little leaning. It's perfect for me. Definitely not the hippity-hopping of the Doug Henning Oak Ridge Boy. Kevlar, can I borrow your suit?



Dallas 90 - Miami 80 - Why did the Mavs win? Haven't watched it yet but looking at the box score, I think this might have something to do with it: Miami shot 36.8% from the line. And that doesn't count two that were erased by lane violations (evidently they have a new zero tolerance policy on that). Wade was 6-10 and Shaq was 1-9 (not counting those other two). ONE FOR NINE. For crying out loud, hire Dennis Hans, Rick Barry or Felix Unger. Or let Shaq shoot them left-handed (or Karl using two hands) and give him a point for every time he hits the backboard. Mavs in 6.

Kazz Part II

This is Kazz of Miracle Saru playing solo early early Saturday morning April 8th at the Liu Fu farm site outside of Kending.

My first stab at an embedded youtube video... I just gotta try whatever Kevlar does...

Colbert roasted Bush a while back.....

If you haven't seen it yet here's the complete Stephen Colbert roast of Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents' dinner. Seriously funny!

Various Links

Video of Canadian troops machine gunning Jihadi car bomber in Afghanistan.

I don't know what super secret technology the Canadian soldiers used to camouflage themselves as a fat American and a little girl, but it definitely freaked me out. I wonder if a lot of little girls grow up in Canada dreaming of being in Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry, in the mistaken belief that it's basically like a My Little Pony army unit? BTW, their motto of "Once a Patricia, always a Patricia" also applies to my aunt and daughter, so please don't hunt me down and kick my sorry ass.

Important infomercial for Kevlar and maybe AJ. Personally, if I added an optical inch, I'd scare off the ladies. Click around, the site has lots of fun stuff.

Here's something useful for Rye in case the Sandstress ever leaves him alone at home for a week.

and one more link guaranteed to satisfy...can anyone spot the errors?

Instituto Hemingway, Bilbao, Review

Okay, strange request. Please refresh this page ten times. I am trying to move up on the google list and apparently that's done through number of hits. You'll be able to read the whole story later...

See what? Am I viewing this correctly?

Is it just me, or is this not an extremely strange story?

Aaron my friend, when you go to China don't drink the water!

It's amazing how this story hasn't received more publicity. I guess there is hope for X-men fans after all!

Click here for a link to the story.

american fish, canadian chips

yer a banana

Citoyens Canadiens Seulement

I figure this is sort of a public service announcement for all Canadians at NiHowdy.

Attencion! Attencion! Achtung! Achtung! Selamat Hari Raya! Selamat Hari Raya!

SECRET Canadian Eyes Only. (English version in PDF file)

Citoyens Canadiens Seulement (Version francais NSFW except in Quebec regions)

Sunni fundamentalists are out to get you. Is it the poutine or the massive beer consumption?

Or do they just hate hockey?


Posted mainly because how often do you get to reveal secret Canadian documents on your blog?

Captain Beer

Is Lance? I think I may have to resign my position as leadoff hitter due to fear of fellow team members throwing pitches at my ribcage. Can I be the announcer who hands out critiques from afar, kind of like Uecker?

Happy Trails, Jimbo.

(at least from most of us)

short vid to tease my friend

short vid to tease my friend

Watch the video

This vid only seems to work on the MAC

AJ is an Alien! Here is some evidence.

1. He has been in the TW for 183 days a year for the past five years.
2. He believes 7-11's should have a drive thru. He stated the "drive-thru would sucessfully un-snarl TW traffic issues"
3. He covers his ears when I start talking.
4. He used Jedi mind tricks to get his beautiful wife to say "Yes to marriage"
5. When asked about his mother he said "The mother-ship will return"
6. He can bench press 270 pounds (the weight of my family)
7. He stores large quantities of water in his apartment.
8. He spent time on boats and underwater exploring locations to fill his UFO with stuff.
9. He doesn't care about money. He is always giving "Two Cents" away.
10. His apartment has a lot of storage area for his specimens.
11. The roof of his building is covered in old TV antenas that assemble into a robot he uses to talk to the taipei alien cell.
12. He wears a beard in the hot month of June to cover his gills.
13. His pouch or belly baby nurses on whisky. The infant exits the belly pouch at sunrise while he is sleeping.
14. He knows the names of all the Star Trek epiosodes. He belives the trouble with Tribles is based on truth.
15. He treats food and cooking as a science. He takes liberties with himself and probes his regions to examine "?" matter.

Embedded video. Listen for his alien influences.

Captain Beer

how do I put this pic on my profile.

Citizens! Citizens!

Warning: If you see this man do not try to apprehend him or his band of peace drum banging hooligans. Reliable sources have informed us that he will be at his preferred gentleman's drinking establishment, FuBar, tonight around 9:00 in a brazen show of effrontery before attempting to flee this island and Lady Justice, once and for all. If you should happen to find yourself proximate to this scoundrel, we suggest you arm yourself with a brace of Beam's or Gold Medal's before initiating any social intercourse.

Since J-Hole likes Boondocks so much

Enjoy a moment.

Poster from a train station

In pursuit of wooden blocks

I went to TOYS ㄌ US looking for this toy and wooden blocks. I got lucky, Sesame Street makes this toy with sound for 999nt. Or I could buy the very last one from this company in the bulk bin reduced for quick sale. Guess I will be off to SOGO for the blocks, I think they are about 850nt.

Yes. Pimp I bought a scanner

I am just looking for stuff to do with it. I bought an all-in-one HP. So far it is working fine.