Transporter 12

The livestock edition: chickens, pigs, water buffalo & a goat

And yes, that is a goat on the back of that scooter..........

Wonder where they are heading?






Klink

Top Ten Things I Say on a Scooter That Have No Cussing

1. You have no headlight.
2. You have no taillight.
3. You have no brake lights.
4. You have no lights.
5. Don't turn off my lights.
6. I said, don't turn off my lights.
7. You know, the full-face, dark visor you wear to protect you from the sun's rays may be okay during the daytime, but at night, you might want to rethink that.
8. That big bag of produce in front of your headlight...ooh, nice cabbage...is illuminated very well. However, your vehicle and the road in front of you are not.
9. Blithering idiot.
10. Incredible nincompoop.

下 一 項

College football - Of course you have the national championship game with UT and Alabama, but you also have a more locally (Taichung) interesting game going on. That being Texas Tech vs. Michigan State. I, of course, support the good guys, Tech. My friend, Sam, a Michigan native, went to State and at the moment sorta supports the Spartans.

If you want to watch the game live, let me know. D-Wayne proposed using his computer and FuBar's wireless to watch it outside on SoHo Street. I'm thinkin that might be a bit cold and windy. An Internet cafe sounds a bit more hospitable to me. D-Wayne, Mr. Bean,let me know, but let's watch it.

Merry Christmas to all at NiHowdy!

Top Albums of the Decade

Why don't I post these albums and we maybe we can get a forum going of albums I've missed.

1. Absolution - Muse
2. Hot Fuss - The Killers
3. Parachutes - Coldplay
4. Funeral - Arcade Fire
5. Wintersleep - Welcome to the Night Sky
6. Bob Dylan - Modern Times
7. Neil Young - Prairie Wind
8. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
9. Snow Patrol - Eyes Open
10. Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand

Special Mention to Radiohead, The Strokes and Queens of the Stoneage.
Albums I want if you feel generous
Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver

I would say Muse is my favorite band of the decade!

Griz Update

After coming from 27 behind in Round 1, winning 51-0 in Round 2, and playing the game of the year (for any level) in the snows of Missoula in Round 3, the Griz fell two points short on Friday night, falling to Villanova 23-21. After squandering an early 14-3 lead, the boys were simply outclassed in the second half, ruining my chance at the rare double alma mater football championship. Alas.

IJ pick up your Cowboy shirt at Fubar

See Keron.....

What I did at the Airport this Trip

On the way out, in Hong Kong airport, two mainland Chinese cut in front of me (and many other people) in the immigration line. You know, the arrival line that has miles of roped areas to form a perfect, snaking line.

I let the first youngster do this, but next it was Grandma. Then I spoke up and told them off.

"Don't cut in line. This is an international airport and everyone has to stand in line. Please don't let the Chinese people lose face like this."

They were suitably embarrassed and I hope the HK airport staff figure out that this is really their job, not some job for slightly-buzzed good Samaritans to be doing.

So, guess what happens when I arrive back at Taipei airport?

Sure enough, again two Chinese cut in front of me. (Why do they try this in pairs?)

I did an encore performance. (Maybe did not mention the losing of Chinese face this time - that is a pretty harsh thing to drop - I am sure those folks had nightmare where Confucius, Mao, andHu Jin-Tao visit them as the Ghosts of Chinese Face.)

The Taiwanese hall monitor then stepped up and corralled the Chinese mustangs back to the rear of the line.

I encourage everyone to speak up and stop this sort of activity whenever you see it. The airport in Taipei was packed to the gills with Chinese tourists and so was Hong Kong. Best to nip this in the bud before you are fighting for your place in line with half of Guangzhou.

Also, its fun to watch them freak out when someone calls them on their line-cutting. These people can afford the plane ticket - they ain't peasants who just fell off the cabbage wagon.

D-Wayne needs our prayers

According to D-Wayne's co-worker, D-Wayne went to the hospital this morning to receive a stent for angina. No word yet, because he is being kept in ICU for 2 days with no contact - as in visitors. According to the co-worker, that includes his wife. He went to work this morning and very shortly thereafter drove himself to the hospital. His school received a phone call from the hospital telling them that he would not be returning. His wife went to his school and informed the principal and the co-worker about the situation. Please remember that the only thing that is certain is that D-Wayne is in the hospital with a heart condition and does need our prayers.

The NBA

Full disclaimer: I have not watched an entire NBA game on TV in years. The sport generally bores me as the superior athletes have taken it from a "How'd he make that pass?" league to an isolation league with minimal passing (with a few notable exceptions). However, it is still the best sport to see live because of those same superior athletes. TV just doesn't capture the skills these people have.

Even to the sports haters (Ponce), if you get the chance to sit in the third row of an NBA game, take it. There are no fat slobs playing in the NBA (sorry golf and football), the action is quick (sorry baseball), it does not settle its champion by having everyone line up and make free throws (sorry soccer), and despite some dodgy officiating from the Fabulous Forum it is generally real (sorry wrestling). The only sport that can match its intensity live is (believe it or not) tennis, but until the ball girls start looking and dressing like the Laker Girls, I'll cast my vote for the NBA.*

Oh, and Kevin Durant? He's a man.


*I'm aware there is a sport played on the tundras north of the border, but it doesn't even allow girls in the arena to my knowledge. Get some puck girls and I'll reconsider.

Random Thoughts

Spent the weekend in Vegas:

When you are hot in a game, stay with it. Whenever I hit the Bacarat table I won, whenever I played anything else I lost. I finished the weekend up $900 (enough to cover my expenses, including airfare, plus a little extra), but would have been much better off if I had played only Bacarat. Up about $2K on that game alone...Blackjack, Pai Gow Poker, slots and poker machines were not so kind.

When playing Bacarat, do not bet against a streak. Just roll with it. $500 dollars made at one point on a nine hand streak for the Bank. Woo-hoo!

Did win $300 on the Horns. Placed the bet when I got there with a line of 27 1/2, watched it go down to 26 and then had to sweat out a 31 point victory.

New York New York is a maze (a maze which is made worse by geometrical shapes in the carpet). Getting to the room after a bout of boozing is not a pleasant experience and I will not stay there again. Whenever I did get back to the room, I just wanted to vomit.

The hotel room did have a hot tub. I won't do that again -- it's not worth the extra money since you are never there.

Old downtown is still worth the trip over for a night, but stay away from the $8.99 prime rib dinners. Plenty tasty, but the next day is hell.

Wayne Newton still plays. Tom Jones, too. We opted for neither.

Other things:

Assuming Montana and Richmond win their opening round games, they will play each other in two weeks in a rematch of last year's title game. If it happens it will be in Missoula. Hopefully it will be cold and snowy, otherwise the Spiders' speed will get us. Dean, we shall have a bet on this game I presume. First two drinks next time we meet?

Driving to Durango, Colorado for Turkey day. A friend got tickets to the Jazz-Thunder matchup on Tuesday night (Salt Lake is on the way for the geographically impaired), third row behind the Thunder bench. If I do not get arrested for stalking Kevin Durant to sign my Sonics jersey it will be a small miracle.

Will commence studying for the bar exam in a couple of weeks. Ugh. Check in every now and then to ensure I am still kicking.

Pollution in China - Pictorial

pictorial

Warning: Towards the end they start showing people who have been disfigured or disabled by pollution. Its not a pretty sight.

The Tonka XXIII issue, vol 22

Built to last......






Rouse! Rouse!

Remembrance Day Undead

Grandmother to Burl: Those red flowers are called poppies. They're so we can remember the soldiers who fought in the war.

Burl: Oh?

G: Your great grandfather fought in the war.

B: Is he dead?

G: Yes, he's dead now.

B: Maybe he a zombie.

I-Pod Nano

My Ipod Nano went through the washing machine. The laundry place was quite sorry about that and returned it to me. I did not blame them - its really small and I missed it too.

Well, I powered it up - and it still worked! The files were even still there.

Either flash memory does not get fried when wet, or there is one hell of an o-ring inside the Ipod Nano.

Transporter 11

Kep th'em doggies movin.......
Til the end ov our ridddddde........







Luftwaffe

Dylan Doesn't Disappoint

When I was young, I explored all types of music. By about grade ten, I owned just about every Neil Young album I could afford. A huge Rush fan, countless hours of Pink Floyd but I couldn't ever relate to my father's fav......Bob Dylan.
This past Saturday night I had a chance to go and see my father's idol, with my father. Standing behind his organ Dylan played the songs I have only recently learned to appreciate. A collection of songs off the new album Together Through Life , a few off of Modern Times and Time Out of Mind along with a few of his greats. Dylan has really changed his sound and if you are familiar with any of these albums, you know what I'm talking about. This was really evident with the revamped song Highway 61 Revisited which blew me away! If this song isn't evidence of times they are a changing I don't know what is.
I wasn't really going to see the Bob Dylan of old but rather the musician he has evolved to be today. In reality I walked away understanding why he is the legend he will always be. Two thumbs up and then some.

D o n g g u a n I I I

National Day celebrating the big 60!





Carter

One Too Many

Poker Report

First, not worth the hangover. Then, Omaha or Spit. Next,the piles were forever being pulled around the table. Finally, it was a "friendly gentlman's game", it is not "ha ha fun " social. "Learn the rules, then learn to play".

Blow Here

Dumbass in breathalyzer costume gets busted for drunk driving.

*order your own here

L i R i v e r

Home of the artwork on the back of a 20 RMB note......

Can u name the locations pictured on the back of a 10, 50 & 100 rmb note?




Heroes

Christmas is around the Corner

Here are some suggestions for the person who has everything:

Confederate Flag Fabric Shower Curtain Rebel Dixie

ships FOB New York City.

"Cassidy" Hot Sexy Stripper Pole Dancer Statue Figure

or

"Suggestion" Tattoo Statue Nude Woman Fetish Statue

a tasteful gift for your female friend that suggests the gift you would like in return.

U.S. Air Force Human Skull Money Bank Piggy USAF

"Now made with 10% real Taliban skulls!"

Cuba Flag Western Rodeo Belt Buckle Cuban

Just in case you know a Cuban communist cowboy who needs a rodeo belt buckle.

If you're married to a Taiwanese lady, show your solidarity to her country by getting one of these:

What? It shows that I like Taiwan and naked ladies in silhouette!

Sundays

Hole lot a sinnin goin on......
but it is hump day, so it's ok.






13

Humpday

I figure everyone needs something to motivate them on Humpday.

Lingerie Football League

"Honey, I'm going to see a football game with the guys..."

Last night D-wayne said next week was Philly at New York...

Philadelphia Passion vs. New York Majesty 10.30 at Reading, PA

Texas Police Very Prescient

Now we know why they stopped the J-hole from trying to steal branches from the park to make an Indian sweat lodge.

They weren't being dicks. They were saving lives.

No wonder that was a felony offense.

p.s. Jhole, did one of those cops look like Jean-Claude Van Damne?

TIME COPS - SENT FROM THE FUTURE TO PROTECT THE PAST.

China just got a big break on its Carbon Bill

Apparently, we should eat our dogs because they can create a carbon footprint as large as driving a Toyota Land Cruiser around. (Ed. - next time use Land Rover for the doggy pun.)

Cantonese people are eager to start selling offsets to angst-ridden German utility executives.

"Send us your beloved hundchen and we will give you an official carbon offset certificate along with a tasteful photo of the banquet platter."

p.s. Should it be "Carbon Pawprint?"

p.s.s. Eskimo with a sled team is equivalent of driving like 12 cars at once.

p.s.s.s. That crazy cat lady owns like 50 cars!

Funeral Update

I am only doing this because I need closure. I know, its boring and creepy.

Last night they erected a massive tent outside the normal funeral area, blocking half the street. (This is right next to my local 7-11, which is maybe why I am paying such close attention.)

Today the professional monks came and did their chanting and bell ringing. Very nice.

It should be over soon. The stacks of Mr. Brown Coffee and Heysong are on the tables.

I asked some coworkers about the length of these things, and they said its due to choosing an auspicious date. So maybe that's why it is an especially long funeral. You get a long dry spell of bad days and they have to hold off on the ceremonies.

Now, my wife chose a C-section birth for our child because that way the date of birth would be certain to be an auspicious date rather than taking your chances with a natural birth.

I wonder if elective euthanasia would become popular with Chinese culture for similar reasons?

UPDATE

Funeral still there. No chanting.

But jackhammers are now going on full force - ahhhh, back to normality.

I also have noticed that every morning there is some weirdly muffled music with a catchy fast beat being played in the environs of my mancave. I can sort of feel it more than hear it.

Today I figured it out. There is a printer a couple of doors down. Its their massive 4 color process printer thumping out the beat. Or I am hungover and its my head throbbing.

Question about Buddhist Funeral

Do they normally keep going on for weeks?

I swear I have never seen one last for more than a week or so.

This one by my house has been there for 2 weeks + now.

The chanting has stopped though.

Oh, but then a Buddhist sound truck came by this morning to make sure I got my daily ration of Buddhist chanting.

I really don't mind this, except it clashes with the idyllic Buddhism in my mind...silent meditation in a mountain temple...maybe the occasional deep "BONG" of a bell ringing.

I also don't like those "GO VEG. SAVE THE PLANET" bumper stickers.

We all know that the diet best suited to saving the most animals actually is a beef, dairy, and vegetable diet.

EAT STEAK. SAVE THE PLANET.

G u i l i n

Not a bad rainy day vacation........





Schultz

Where have you gone Captain Lou?

Captain Lou Albano has shocked the world once again. The rubber band ornamenting, Cyndi Lauper siring heavyweight has become the first wrestler to die of natural causes since Gorgeous George. Small obit available here.

Re: 2012

I've got some students who are refusing to do any work because of coming apocalypse in 2012.

I'm thinking about showing some kind of documentary that offers a balanced overview of the science (or lack thereof) behind it. Any recommendations?

That trailer's not gonna cut it.

Transporter 10

More than meets the eye......



Kinch

A Wedding and Poker Game

My pal Dwayne is having his Taiwan wedding on Sunday afternoon.. Then he will open up FM for drinks. I will be directing people to tables, Yipee! I think Monday morning is going to hurt. Wanna crash a wedding party?
Saturday Scream'n Steve is hosting a 500 Hold'em Tournament. 500 to start. In the event you go all-in on the first hand with an ace jack, you can pay again and re-start your evening.

M P H M a l a y

Did You Know?

• There are 407 flights per week flying on small aircraft from MPH.
• There are 4 airlines operating out of MPH.
• Over 21,862 passengers can travel out of MPH every week.
• The smallest commercial aircraft flying out of MPH is a L4T with 19 seats.
• MPH connects with 3 cities nonstop.
• The largest aircraft flying out of MPH is a 146 with 83 seats.
• The longest flight from MPH is 244 miles.
• There are over 407 domestic flights per week from MPH.

Klink

Mom & Pop

1430101009

Red Willy reunion........



stalag

Don't worry about the economy or Iran

Looks like we will have bigger problems in 2012.

The Tonka XXII issue, vol 21

Extreme Tonka...





Hogan

Canadian Catholics

Is this what happened to Kevlar?

Double Ten

Double Ten is coming up. I am expecting to see the hot new weapons of the ROC armed forces on parade. Here is a taste of what they have...

A day off

Been busy recently writing country songs for a Paint Your Wagon-inspired Taiwanese musical. But, now I have a bit more free time to clean out all my notes and clippings from the papers that have been stuffing the storage area in my scooter. Writing songs is a time-consuming and thirsty business. However, it's never too time intensive to stop reading The China Post - for even one day!

Why, just this Saturday, there was an unattributed photo and mini article on Crocs-style plastic sandals ( The article has since been traced to the Consumers' Foundation in Taiwan). An article so important that it might just save our own Esquire's Willie. 40% of the Crocs rip-offs contain excessive plasticizers which may lead to infertility and feminization in boys. As for all your latex product purchase, quality does matter.

Brands that contain some unsafe models are: Rooster, Ja Her Fang and RegentA. Shoes from Crocs, Adidas and Sparkle are okay, though I suspect Sparkle doesn't need the extra plasticizers to get Little Jimmy started on Sea Breezes.

下 一 項

How do you know an article is worth reading? Five words - The China Post news staff. Not only did the article's title Drunken husband kills virago wife send me to the dictionary, but the staff furthered my education in unbiased, objective reporting: The wife was a heavy shrew. Well, of course. It's on her ID card. Mrs. Lin burst into the dining room, shouting at her midget husband for drinking too much.

If you will excuse me now, I am off for coffee and The China Post.

Right in my Backyard!

Opened the newspaper this morning.
Bob Dylan is coming to Kitchener, Ontario.
I'm pretty pumped. Tickets go on Sale Friday.

I went to the Bob Dylan web page, pre-order. I'm now sitting with four tickets!

I have only started to get into Dylan recently. Deano passed on the album Modern Times which I think is pretty good. One thing led to another and I now have several Dylan albums on the ipod including highway 61 rev, Time out of Mind (produced by Lanois) and of course Biograph 1995. I'm really into the Dylan Blues!

When MJ died, I wasn't really all that upset. But I do believe he was one of the most influential artists of our time. I believe the same of Dylan and can't wait to see him in my backyard.

Does not compute

Kids in the U.S. spend more hours in school (1,146 instructional hours per year) than do kids in the Asian countries that persistently outscore the U.S. on math and science tests — Singapore (903), Taiwan (1,050), Japan (1,005) and Hong Kong (1,013). That is despite the fact that Taiwan, Japan and Hong Kong have longer school years (190 to 201 days) than does the U.S. (180 days).

Anyone think this is right? I am not even considering cram schools...

Also, I would figure the biggest obstacle to a longer school year is not the students but the teachers and their unions.

Why do we trade?

China launches probe into imports of US chicken

BEIJING — China on Sunday started investigating complaints that American chicken products are being dumped in China and are unfairly benefiting from subsidies, adding to a string of trade disputes with Washington.

Well, obviously, the USA is dumping chicken feet into the Chinese market at below cost. That's because American consumers don't put much value into chicken feet while Chinese consumers do. Thus USA chicken farmers have an abundance of chicken feet that they used to throw away (or make into hot dogs) and now they get shipped to China as a delicacy.

But Chinese chicken farmers had been selling chicken feet as a delicacy for years at higher prices, and must be upset that the prices is now going down with a flood of US imports.

You'd think the Chinese would figure out that you could substitute "abundance of cheap labor" for "unwanted chicken feet" and decide discretion is the better part of valor/creating an economy based on exporting manufactured goods.

On a more interesting note, I wonder if China now consumes more chicken feet than chicken bodies?

Maybe there are ghost chickens roaming the Tyson plants in Arkansas that can never go to heaven because their feet are in China?*

allusion to Chinese eunuchs keeping their penis' in a jar, much as a married man lets his wife keep his....

Chen Wants a Piece of Obama

Of course you can leave prison, travel to Washington, and testify in an american court. Link to China Post article in the title.prison sentence article

Late nite

Gonna miss u Michael J.
But we still got OJ:)



13

Saturday thoughts

First off, congrats to tech for keeping it within two scores last night. A mighty improvement on past trips to Austin. Now for some reflections:

1. Texas is not near as good as I anticipated. McCoy spent too much time listening to how great he is this past summer and not enough time practicing it appears.

2. Jhole has graciously listed several southern states running on E.S.T. While that's all well and good, the fact that John partakes in liberal east coast elitism by giving us times on the east coast when nobody who reads this blog lives in that particular time zone is surprising given his obsession with Fox "News." I wasn't aware the internet had made it to South Carolina yet. My bad.

3. I didn't say I was going to kick Paul's ass, I said he was off the friend list. I mean really, what joy is there in whipping up on an asthmatic Indian from Canukistan who calls himself Pokey? It's like taking money from a drunk Texan in Iron Cross. Wait, that's fun. Nevermind the analogy.

4. It appears the Twins are trying to give us at least one decent divisional race. Thank god, because this baseball season has been extremely lame. So lame that mid market owners are scaling back payroll for next year, meaning the somewhat sense of parity we have had over the past few years is going to be shot. Teams like Houston, Seattle, and San Diego which have been decent over that period of time are cutting payroll, citing poor attendance. Hmmm, you mean sucky teams draw worse? I have an idea, let's make our team more sucky and then blame the fans for not coming!

5. Fall has finally reached the Northwest. Birch trees are yellow, Maples are red, the tamaracks are copper and for the first time since I've been back, I'm not entirely prepared for what comes after fall. Ugh.

6. Going to rob some bees of their honey today. Haven't done that for a while...

7. Special shout to Dean's Spiders. At 3-0 with wins over Duke (an FBS team) and Delaware (a perennial contender in the FCS), the champs are rolling. The Griz are also 3-0, but haven't played much of anybody (but they did whip Jerry Glanville's Portland State squad yesterday!).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_9UTvESBIc

Guns are Up in Taiwan!

Front row: My colleague Paul, me, my colleague Andre

Back row: the Generalissimo CKS Teasipper, UT class of 1907

Texas Tech vs. Texas, 8:00pm Saturday

下 一 項

This was sent to me from my mother. It's a promo for Texas Technological College from 1947. Not positive, but the homecoming parade might have a bit of insensitivity towards others displayed.

Commodity Prices & Pig Farmers

Pig farmers in southern China are stockpiling copper and zinc to the tune of tens of thousands of metric tons, in speculation of higher prices going forward.

No word on whether copper miners are purchasing frozen pork bellies.

Transporter 9

Movin.. movin... movin....
Keep em moving............





Cockroach?

The Tonka XXI issue, vol 20

Beach Tonka.......




col.

S W A S h a n t o u

Did You Know?

• SWA has 70 flights departing per week for short haul destinations.
• There are over 11 international flights per week from SWA.
• The longest flight from SWA is 1,242 miles.
• There are over 116 domestic flights per week from SWA.
• The largest aircraft flying out of SWA is a 737 with 180 seats.
• There are over 18 long haul flights per week from SWA.
• The shortest flight out of SWA is 197 miles.
• There are 10 flights per week flying on small aircraft from SWA.

Staggering....





FM

Unemployment in China

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEDFgJACMcQ

But how many are funemployed?