I Swear to God Officer, They told me they were 18!

Chile is a difficult place for a man like me. I didn't mean to meet these three young ladies on the beach, it just kind of happened. I was sitting there peacefully, minding my own business, when they sat down next to me. Thirty minutes later, we were discussing Gringohood and planning an evening of debauchery in Vina Del Mar. They were Argentinian university students (studying philosophy no less) on summer break, I was sad to go home. Now I'm stuck here in Montana, watching it snow, and kicking myself that I ever left South America. When I finish this law school bit, I'm going back to South America and not coming back. You are all welcome to visit.
The picture doesn't do the one in the middle justice by the way, she was a knockout. In real life she looked much older than twelve, I swear. I remember when I moved to Taiwan I had to institute the Taiwan Five policy (adding five years to whatever age I thought a girl looked like). Maybe in South America that will have to be increased to ten.