Howl at the moon, shoot out the lights - Taipei, Friday night.

After seeing what transpired last Friday the 26th in Taipei, I'm sure that shootin' and howlin' would be one of the more restrained responses for anyone at all who gives a damn. It's a tale of two events that highlights the superficiality of Taiwan's political society and the futility of hope for change by those tired of the status quo.

The first was a Friday morning conference hosted by the Taiwan Foundation for Democracy titled "Towards a Global Forum on New Democracies." Those attending included five former heads of state.

The event will feature retired heads of state from around the world, who will share their experiences and lessons on democratization and discuss ways to work together to promote democracy - TFD

It seems that right now in the Taiwan political arena, if you haven't been accused of some sort of corruption, you ain't trying. Figures from both main political camps have investigations looming over them. Pettiness and hypocrisy abound on both sides, though the majority party, the KMT, are the old pros at it. Lose an election? Storm your party's headquarters. Lose another election? Attack government buildings, like... umm, let's say a library! Smash the glass in front of the police? No problem. The KMT mayor of that city (Taichung) will put his arm around your shoulder, lead you off the field of battle and call for a right-hander. Play ball! So, when President Chen is discussing difficulties encountered by new democracies during the day ( something that a casual surf around the channels at lunchtime resulted in the briefest of mentions only), most people are gearing up for the next event - a wedding!

Not just any wedding. This was a was at least a JFK Jr. and Carolyn on the marriage scale. 侯蘊華's (bride) and 蔡君飛 's (groom) wedding banquet was broadcast live on at least four TV stations. Why? Who are these people? Well, they both have famous daddies. The bride's father is 侯孝賢 (Hou2 Xiao4 Xian2) a famous, international movie director ( 悲情城市 - City of Sadness) and the groom's papa 蔡冠倫 ( Tsai4 Guan4 Lun2) is an international crime lord ( 4 Seas Triad -murder, prostitution, extortion, blah, blah, blah). I wasn't very interested so I asked my wife what all the hullabaloo was about. Well, the godfather was there and he "looks nice." One interviewee said that they would rather talk to him than a politician or celebrity (okay, I'll concede that one) because he was more straightforward ( down 2-0). But still, straightforward? I will be taking $10,000 a month for protection. I will be killing you on, oh,,, say the 5th. I will need your daughter to carry this cell phone and be ready at all times.

Still, I was not into it. Until. I saw a balding pate I recognized. Yep. That was 王金平 ( Wang2 Jin1 Ping2) trying to play Chang to the godfather's Eng. Happy, smiling, (copping a feel?) he was on stage congratulating him on the wedding and another day of life. Oh, Wang Jin Ping? He is the president of the Legislative Yuan. The same guy who calls for operations (掃黑) against the 4 Seas Guys. The same guy whose website features his wholesomeness with sub-par South Park animation and text by the China Post. Tear up and smile sweetly while you view Time of Peacefulness, New Good Man and Growth: Master of Both the Pen and Sword - The Kidult. Other major gangsters were there ( in Chinese), including the boss of the United Bamboo Triad mingling with Wang on TV. No wonder the cops feel it's a good day when they can give me a ticket for turning right on a red. They cannot or will not do much more.

On one side of town the President of the country is saying "Going back down the old road is not the answer." On the other, the president of the Legislative Yuan is doing just that and pretending he's not.