Friday, September 28, 2007

MLB

There once was a time when Red A, J-Hole, Kevlar, Rye and myself would meet at my apartment on Friday afternoons to unwind after a long hard work week of 22 hours. Adult beverages were consumed, bullshitting was expected, and computer baseball was played. Why am I rehashing old times? Because it has come to my attention that Rye thinks I'm competitive because I used to kick his ass at computer baseball, take his money at poker, and break his toes in real football. I call that being better than him, he calls it hyper-competitive nature. Whatever.

Funny thing is, Rye is uber-competitive himself (for a Canuckistani). One day he showed up at my house and challenged me to baseball. Started talking smack and doing some new move with his baserunners. I figured out what he was doing and decided to not allow any baserunners for the rest of the game (I occasionally let him get on base lest he take his toys and go home). Next day I called Kevlar and he told me he was over at Ryan's.

This may seem like an ordinary, innoculous statement. However, anybody who knows the three of us knows that we were basically attached for the better part of two years. If Kevlar was at Stoney's house and I wasn't there, I was at least informed prior to arrival. Something fishy was going on. Next week at baseball Stoney throws some new pitch or something and I realize he has been practicing. Strange, being as I was the one with the game. So I asked if he had been practicing. He became evasive (practicing what?). He became beligerent (Screw You). He became cocky (you're just pissed because I struck you out). Finally I asked: Did you buy a copy of the game? Yes. And have you been playing with yourself (Sandy was still putting out at that point so he knew what I was talking about)? And have you and Kevlar been having covert sessions? Busted. The S.O.B. was so determined to beat me he bought the game, practiced with our best friend, and never said a word. Like a kid who tries to convince his parents that he just found the cookie jar empty.

Rye, you got Sandy, you got two kids with eighteen names, and you got rid of Grace. YOU WIN!

3 comments:

Chaon said...

Who is Grace?

Rye said...

Grace was my/our former supervisor. She's the one who once removed all the garbage cans in the language center because there was "too much trash lying around".I didn't really get rid of her though. She defected to the main office. And so far this year, I gotta say, things are running pretty smoothly without her. Go figure.

Rye said...

OK, most of that story is true. Some liberties were taken, but hey, I forgive the Bread Machine. Just so you know, there is nothing worse than listening to Brett talk trash, especially when he's winning. Yall woulda done the same!