Saturday, March 19, 2005

Something no one talks about, well i never heard of it

Last night I was sick and tired fully intending on sleeping off my cold and resting my weary head. Alone i peacefully lay. At 8:10 AM I was awoken by the sound of puking. I sat up with a grand "What in da H.E. double 'Ockey is this nonsense?". My pillow was covered in spew. The cat buddy, the frickin' cat blew chunks on the pillow next to my head. Well I did what any sane person would do I bitch slapped the cat and moved to the cold side of the bed with the clean pillow. I have a cold I need to rest. At the grand hour of eleven O'clock i felt warm liquid on my thigh. It wasn't me! I tore off the sheets to see the little critter meowing cause he is hungry. Yellow vomit on my leg, sheets, bedspread. I GOT OUT OF BED.
I have had a life long dislike of cats, i truly never cared for them much. This little guy is kinda fun, so i got online to see what is wrong with the little christ-er. Guess what? Cats puke all the time. cat lovers write stories about their little darlings blowing chunks. Some cat lovers buy dogs. Apparetnly dogs love to eat cat vomit. There are stories of dogs and their abilities to consume mass quantities of steaming liquid cat stomach.
So I am prepping the laundry, and cleaning up the mess. I should go borrow John's dog. I'm sure he would love to help me out of this mess. It would be great cause dogs love to eat cat crap stomach contents.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

the whole scene is disgusting and still we love you - but don't you have a bedroom door? who gets puked on twice in one night? by a cat? you don't have any moral or legal obligation to sleep with it...

Bread said...

maybe you could start packaging the puke and selling it to dog lovers as a delicacy.

Bread said...

or just send your cat over to karl's house, he pukes regularly as well.

Chaon said...

Now you see- It hurts me when people disrespect my incessant puking.