rainning rainning ya

rainning rainning ya
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Driving a scooter in the dark and rainy night sucks donkey stool. Driving the car is no fun either.

Ryans milk

Ryans milk
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Ryan's visit to the Taichung zoo was very rewarding. He bravely fed the pig and joked about taking pork chops home to Mamma San. Taiwans EPA is promoting re-use waste with their adopt a pig program. the Sandstress smacked her lips and was over heard chanting "Bring me the apple sauce".

Greg

greg
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

This northern Canadian has denounced his Danish roots. He proclaimed he was born in France and has decided to go to Thailand to Tan his arm pits. He just " Had to tell us one thing..". When he gets the call he will board some planes and have a good time. Good Luck Greag we will all miss you.

I got's a new haircut! Thanks Mom!

I brought back some jalepeno seeds from a farmer's market in Lubbock. About 2 fingers of a baggie. What is that? A lid? Half a lid? Canadianers, help me out with the lingo. I'm willing to give some to anyone who thinks their thumb is green enough to get results. The only catch is that I get a cut of the product if the ones I plant don't turn out - highly likely. Think about fresh jalepenos. No more pickled, vinegary, mushy canned ones. Jalepeno poppers. Fried, baked, raw, their all good. Note: Blogger spell check for Canadianers is Condemners.


Someone mentioned over a beer that you can get Big XII football games online. Where? On a similar note, would anyone be interested in playing EA Sports NCAA '06 College Football with me if I should get it? Texas Tech wound up ninth in the final poll and their QB won the Heisman in EA's simulated season. UT was nowhere to be seen. Ha, ha, Bread.

Poker tonight? Ever again?

Cricket. What were they doing when they thought of this game?

kevin pietersen
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Here is a sport. This guy is one of the worlds best bowlers. So they gave him a bat and a mask.
These are some of the many fans. Don't they look rowdy. Check out those clothes. What if these sports were contrasted with baseball. Someone could compare football and rugby (but they are clearly both sports with fans). Make a comment. Say whatever phrase or rule or snipet you know about this game. TRY.

TV Guide

While doing nothing in Lubbock, I did watch some TV. Be warned that most of it is as gut-churning as Jerry making everybody hold hands at PJs during a football game and sway. Therefore, should you go back home I have prepared a guide for acceptable viewing.

*The History Channel - No surprise here, but they have added newly released footage and colorized it. My favorites were Secret Aircraft of WWII (I only saw the Japs and Germans) and The Color of War.

*The Sci-Fi Channel - Made the cut on the basis of one show only, Battlestar Galactica. This is the new one. Edward James Olmos as Adama, a drunk for Col. Tigh, a hot Cylon that talks about God, and an equally hot human/Cylon whose spine glows red when having sex. It's dark, gloomy and confusing. I still haven't found out how or why the Cylons make replicas that act the same as their human counterparts. Cinemax Asia is showing it on Sunday nights (TV schedule here) . It's on about episode 5. Don't worry about jumping in late. I saw the whole danged thing and still haven't figured it out.

*CMT - That's Country Music Television for you, Karl. While some of the videos and music are indistinguishable from Channel V crap-pop, they premiere a lot of new artists: Shooter Jennings, Waylon's son; Mando Saenz and the Del McCoury Band - not new, but new to me. Good 'ol twangy bluegrass. Their American Revolutions: Southern Rock showcases the Allmans, Skynyrd, Charlie Daniels and the Marshall Tucker Band with above-grade reporting and good video. Cowboy U is worth an episode just to see male-models and hairdressers play cowboy and get the crap kicked out of them by a steer.

Honorable Mention: VH1 - Yes, VH1. Hey, it's right between the History and Sci-Fi channels, I had to stop and take a look. And boy did I get a look. I watched the entire season of The Surreal Life 4 one night. In this show minor and washed-up celebs live together for a couple of weeks, get drunk, have sex and break down. Now, if you're questioning my taste, just think about this. About 10 minutes into Episode 1, Verne Troyer (Mini-Me), gets supremely loaded, hops on his little motorized, grocery-store vehicle and bounces around the house until he finds a corner in the exercise room and starts to pee. Oh, yeah. He's buck naked the whole time. View it here (Mini-Me's Gotta Pee) and then call me wrong in my selection. Equally delightful was watching 5 of the 6 refuse to brand a calf so they could eat steak and lobster. They got stuck with a can of pork and beans. Jane Weidlin of the Go-Go's get so distraught that she threw a fit and cried. The cowboys had a good laugh at that. VH1 has a gazillion reality shows. Watching all those celebs preen, complain, mangle language and sweat and convulse while trying to cogitate makes it very easy to pass on the rest of the channels.

Canadian Special Forces caught on Hans Ø

Denmark's foreign ministry has announced that Danish reconnaissance troops caught Canadian troops red-handed on Hans Island. The ministry released the photo to the right showing a member of the Canadian special forces' arctic warfare unit (commonly known as the Baby SEALS) in full battle dress. The photo was reportedly taken on Hans on the night of July 31 by Danish dog sled troops based out of Greenland.

Other evidence shown by the foreign ministry included several empty Perrier bottles, a canister of Binaca, and a Canadian issued ribbed condom.

The Canadian foreign minister had no comment. At least in English. Maybe the spokesperson said something in French, but budget cuts at NiHowdy have eliminated our translation service in several minor languages including French, Cajun, and Maritime Patois.

Sooey Razorbacks!

Hey! Time for some more kiddie photos. Now, not having any of my own, I have to borrow. This here is my 9 year old cousin, Garrett Rose. On my only trip outside of the Hub City on my vacation, I went with my wife and mom to my cousins. They live near Medina, Texas, which is about an hour northwest of San Antonio. They have almost 500 acres in the hill country and have one of their houses resting atop one of those hills. My cousin, Lance - Garrett's father, set up deer feeders spaced around their land. Now an ex-hunter, he said he did so just because he likes the animals. No more shooting of Bambi. However, the free grub also attracts others, most notably, feral hogs. These are not javelinas (I think) but just plain old hogs that got loose and bred with...something else. Or so said my Uncle Don. Maybe my cousins can clarify if they read this. These hogs wreck the feeders and very capably destroy roads. Therefore, they are varmits in need of being put down. And there are few in that area more precise with a firearm than Garrett. One night, I noticed a hog come up behind the house and start to mess with a feeder. Garrett promptly got one of his guns - a .223 rifle, single shot, Thompson Center - climbed a tree and took aim. Against admonitions from Uncle Don to not try a head shot, he did just that. Look here for a pic of the shot from 120 yards, at night,in a tree.

Alcohol Chicken

Image(247)
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

The wife has started the secret chicken diet. Ever wonder what a Chinese farmer keeps in the wine cellar. This company is out of business, most of these bottles were hoarded away when the government imposed a few extra taxes about 3 or 4 years ago. It is 22 percent and rising. It was supposed to be the best rice wine company. It makes an awesome lunch. As for eating it three times a day... if only I was still on summer vacation. It is really tasty.

New Dad

Image(266)
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Stuggling to hum a new version of the ABC's. This little Dad has yet to master the grandparents 6th tone secret clicking tongue sound that instantly soothes the child into "curious stary gaze" . She is healthy, alert and hungry. She seems to have caught on to the concept of crying and getting someone to talk to her. She will soon be starting day six.

In more or less chronological order here are selected, concise highlights of my 5 weeks back home.

• Actually, the first one begins on the bus ride to the airport. The Fei Gou bus driver refused to unlock the bathroom door and told me to wait until we got to the Ching Shui Lu stop. I did. He still refused and told me to go outside, hurry up and piss. I asked the attendant at the stop to talk to him and his wife, who was riding shotgun. Turns out, I got back on and he still hadn't unlocked it. Had to wait till we got to the airport. Well, I'd been liquoring up before I boarded and still needed to go. In the end, I used my Reebok lockpick, did my business and got off the bus. No problems on the way back.
• I did my best to make sure no U.S. beef made its way to Taiwan and harm anyone. It was 15 days till I ate anything but steak or Mexican. Oh, and that cow? It was born 5 years before the ban on feeding cattle protein or bone meal made from cattle or ruminants was put in place, and was taken out of the for-consumption herd as soon as these measures were instituted. Tests from 67 cattle in the same herd came back negative. Time to buy your MSG in bulk, get a sledgehammer and borrow Dee Snider's vampire teeth if your gonna be wanting to eat steak here nowadays.

That's pretty much all of them that won't have pictures to accompany them (once I go and pay the bills). My vacation was as low-key as I could make it. Good to be back and see my friends, not so great to be back and not be able to go to the store at 3am, get a steak a grill it. Same for Mexican. I'll be a little down for a while, so come by and offer my a frosty, adult beverage. I'll accept.

P.S. - More than 7,100 underage Mexican immigrants have been deported this year. Them Mexican generals better hope ol' Kinky don't pull off the election.

Axis & Allies Week-end Report

This week Malv won. He landed about 10 tanks on Hans Island and our Canadian infantryman didn't put up much of a fight. With that final humiliation, our country dissolved into bickering independent provinces.

If we weren't playing with the new United Nations rules, I think we could have swung Britain and the USA to our side. Instead we rolled two 4's and they friggin' abstained!

Meanwhile Malv as Denmark managed to get the E.U. to become a functional superpower by researching Anti-Americanism up to level 8 and as icing on the cake rolled a 1 to absorb the Soviets on turn 2.

All we could manage on offense was to get the Diao Yu Tai islands back in Chinese hands, though we had to cede some Turbot fisheries rights to Japan to do so.

Next week we're playing as the Islamics since they actually pull some clout.

More on Canada's Occupation of Hans Island

Here's some links to more news on Canada's sinister occupation of Hans Island.

CBC propaganda

Canada does not have the ships, submarines or helicopters needed to prevent foreign vessels from travelling through its Arctic waters. The United States, for example, still considers them to be international waters.

Graham was not clear on exactly how Canada will assert its sovereignty without the equipment to keep foreign vessels out of Canadian waters.

See how they are taking a completely pro-Canada line? Their complete unquestioning support of the Canadian government makes me sick.

CTV propaganda (including a map with a big red star to show where these commies are occupying Hans Island.)

A Foreign Affairs official said Ottawa would examine any formal request but was in no hurry to reopen talks.

Sounds like they are waiting for Cuba, China, and California to join up for some 6-way talks over this issue...just like it sounds, the C countries ganging up on the poor little D country.

Meanwhile this reminds of a famous on-tape quote from a Taichung resident:

Foot draggin', knee knockin', P****, if you ever do that I'm gonna divorce you!

For anyone truly schooled in the nuances of international relations and Realpolitik, it's obvious that this is NOT about a fabled Northwest Passage or oil rights. The Danes are mainly upset that Graham snuck onto the island and drank the bottle of brandy that the Danish left in 1984 without replacing it. Dude, that is so Chico State of them.

BREAK DANCING UPDATE:

Some Canadian rag goes nuclear by using the headline "Hands Off Hans Island" as if Denmark's editors had not already thought of that one, "Mittens Öpp Unseren Hansel Iselan." Is there nothing a Canadian won't steal? (Okay, it should be "Hænderne væk fra Hans Ø")

And yes, this war has gone GOOGLE. Though, I must say the Danish guy at least tries some logic to convince you. My theory of 5th Generation War is that in the far future wars will be fought using cyberspace ads and robot death squads.

UPDATE: Canada "occupying" Hans Island

Personally, I'll be working hard on the campaign for a worldwide boycott of Canadian products until they end this gobsmackingly vile occupation of Danish land.

BREAKING NEWS

Kevlar sent an SMS message - the doctor says the baby should come out today.

UPDATE: Baby was born...not much more for now. Any pics, Kevlar?

Goodbye to my Canadian friends

It was really great knowing you.

I am saddened that your nation is going to war with Denmark and that you are all being drafted for the invasion of Hans Island.

Make sure to bring warm clothes, a change of underwear, and your government issued wooden spear capable of penetrating a slightly hirsute Danish soldier's blubbery amor.

p.s. In the spirit of our alliance and solidarity, we promise to abstain in anyUNSC resolution votes.

Weekend Errata

Poker Night: Lost money. Had a nice long talk with Brit Brett.

More on that guy working for the Guardian, Dilpazier Aslam: he's been fired by the Guardian. Here's the guy's original article.

And Karl's right. This is exactly like Jeff Gannon, except he was not an anti-semitic apologist for terror. But gay prostitute is lot funnier, and as we now know, I do think that comedy trumps socialism or other politics.

Mugabe is pronounced Moo-Gah-Bey. He did not attend Sandhurst or any other British institution of buggery, though he did get some degrees via correspondence. He has in the past attacked the gayness of Tony Blair. Recently, he has decided to look to China to bankroll his nation. If China turns him down, may I suggest he try Taiwan? AFAIK, we only have one gay in the village, aka Ponce.

Axis & Allies - Ponce & Red A vs. Malv: Our new strategy to pray to Cthulu for better die rolls paid off with an amazing Yahtzee roll of five Ones that pretty much was Malv's Stalingrad. There was also a Waterloo where Karl smote most of Germany's tank forces and all of their fighters.

We got in trouble cuz A.J. brought beer over. I hope Karl enjoyed his punishment.

All in all, a nice week-end.

scorched Earth

taiwan terror
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

I am leaving the country side. The drunken neighbor had a fight with his imported Chinese wife and burnt his rice fields. Shocked neighbors went to get some shot glasses. The booze was flowing and gossip dispersed. Being the only visible foreigner for kilometers I was attacked. With their car horns and plastic spoons. I saw one guy with a sicle, he dropped it and jumped into his rice combine (horn blarring). Eat the zhong zi A-doe-AH.
"Take me back to the great big city where the grass is green and ..."

Things to like about Taiwan

Mama
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Kids like to shop.

Prep luch, catch snake

Get the hotdog buns and marshmallow sticks.

"I think I can, I think I can"

I know I can get to the fire