Axis & Allies Week-end Report

This week Malv won. He landed about 10 tanks on Hans Island and our Canadian infantryman didn't put up much of a fight. With that final humiliation, our country dissolved into bickering independent provinces.

If we weren't playing with the new United Nations rules, I think we could have swung Britain and the USA to our side. Instead we rolled two 4's and they friggin' abstained!

Meanwhile Malv as Denmark managed to get the E.U. to become a functional superpower by researching Anti-Americanism up to level 8 and as icing on the cake rolled a 1 to absorb the Soviets on turn 2.

All we could manage on offense was to get the Diao Yu Tai islands back in Chinese hands, though we had to cede some Turbot fisheries rights to Japan to do so.

Next week we're playing as the Islamics since they actually pull some clout.

More on Canada's Occupation of Hans Island

Here's some links to more news on Canada's sinister occupation of Hans Island.

CBC propaganda

Canada does not have the ships, submarines or helicopters needed to prevent foreign vessels from travelling through its Arctic waters. The United States, for example, still considers them to be international waters.

Graham was not clear on exactly how Canada will assert its sovereignty without the equipment to keep foreign vessels out of Canadian waters.

See how they are taking a completely pro-Canada line? Their complete unquestioning support of the Canadian government makes me sick.

CTV propaganda (including a map with a big red star to show where these commies are occupying Hans Island.)

A Foreign Affairs official said Ottawa would examine any formal request but was in no hurry to reopen talks.

Sounds like they are waiting for Cuba, China, and California to join up for some 6-way talks over this issue...just like it sounds, the C countries ganging up on the poor little D country.

Meanwhile this reminds of a famous on-tape quote from a Taichung resident:

Foot draggin', knee knockin', P****, if you ever do that I'm gonna divorce you!

For anyone truly schooled in the nuances of international relations and Realpolitik, it's obvious that this is NOT about a fabled Northwest Passage or oil rights. The Danes are mainly upset that Graham snuck onto the island and drank the bottle of brandy that the Danish left in 1984 without replacing it. Dude, that is so Chico State of them.

BREAK DANCING UPDATE:

Some Canadian rag goes nuclear by using the headline "Hands Off Hans Island" as if Denmark's editors had not already thought of that one, "Mittens Öpp Unseren Hansel Iselan." Is there nothing a Canadian won't steal? (Okay, it should be "Hænderne væk fra Hans Ø")

And yes, this war has gone GOOGLE. Though, I must say the Danish guy at least tries some logic to convince you. My theory of 5th Generation War is that in the far future wars will be fought using cyberspace ads and robot death squads.

UPDATE: Canada "occupying" Hans Island

Personally, I'll be working hard on the campaign for a worldwide boycott of Canadian products until they end this gobsmackingly vile occupation of Danish land.

BREAKING NEWS

Kevlar sent an SMS message - the doctor says the baby should come out today.

UPDATE: Baby was born...not much more for now. Any pics, Kevlar?

Goodbye to my Canadian friends

It was really great knowing you.

I am saddened that your nation is going to war with Denmark and that you are all being drafted for the invasion of Hans Island.

Make sure to bring warm clothes, a change of underwear, and your government issued wooden spear capable of penetrating a slightly hirsute Danish soldier's blubbery amor.

p.s. In the spirit of our alliance and solidarity, we promise to abstain in anyUNSC resolution votes.

Weekend Errata

Poker Night: Lost money. Had a nice long talk with Brit Brett.

More on that guy working for the Guardian, Dilpazier Aslam: he's been fired by the Guardian. Here's the guy's original article.

And Karl's right. This is exactly like Jeff Gannon, except he was not an anti-semitic apologist for terror. But gay prostitute is lot funnier, and as we now know, I do think that comedy trumps socialism or other politics.

Mugabe is pronounced Moo-Gah-Bey. He did not attend Sandhurst or any other British institution of buggery, though he did get some degrees via correspondence. He has in the past attacked the gayness of Tony Blair. Recently, he has decided to look to China to bankroll his nation. If China turns him down, may I suggest he try Taiwan? AFAIK, we only have one gay in the village, aka Ponce.

Axis & Allies - Ponce & Red A vs. Malv: Our new strategy to pray to Cthulu for better die rolls paid off with an amazing Yahtzee roll of five Ones that pretty much was Malv's Stalingrad. There was also a Waterloo where Karl smote most of Germany's tank forces and all of their fighters.

We got in trouble cuz A.J. brought beer over. I hope Karl enjoyed his punishment.

All in all, a nice week-end.

scorched Earth

taiwan terror
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

I am leaving the country side. The drunken neighbor had a fight with his imported Chinese wife and burnt his rice fields. Shocked neighbors went to get some shot glasses. The booze was flowing and gossip dispersed. Being the only visible foreigner for kilometers I was attacked. With their car horns and plastic spoons. I saw one guy with a sicle, he dropped it and jumped into his rice combine (horn blarring). Eat the zhong zi A-doe-AH.
"Take me back to the great big city where the grass is green and ..."

Things to like about Taiwan

Mama
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Kids like to shop.

Prep luch, catch snake

Get the hotdog buns and marshmallow sticks.

"I think I can, I think I can"

I know I can get to the fire

I need some help!

I'm trying to decide on a gift for Ponce - his Imaginary Birthday is coming up on the Chinese Lunar calendar, and I'm having a tough time deciding between these three books.

Book 1

Book 2

Book 3

Which do you think he'd like more?

I'd buy this book for him, but since he's ex-Army, I think he might be offended by the USMC parts.

WARNING: My lucky hours are from 9:00 p.m. - 1:00 a.m. according to my Chinese Astrology link - expect me to be playing every hand during that time period, and fold accordingly.


BONUS LINK: Do not look for a loyal Russian bride from this place.

MacDonald

phone pics cat 182
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

The cat the prefers the great indoors. The cat the sister in law is afraid the dog will eat.

The cat with two names Hae -Pi and Happy. This little guy is alot of fun.

Haitang surrivor cat house

phone pics cat 184
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

http://photos21.flickr.com/26249909_0d1e359567_m.jpg Macdonalds. Mian http://photos23.flickr.com/26249910_7145331a51_m.jpg Hae -Pi http://photos22.flickr.com/26249908_1d4fd9299f_m.jpg The cats made the transition from the city to the country. One week after it was finished Two cats moved into a small barn. The other left for the neighbors tractor shed. Cats don't like cages. Cats won't run away as long as you feed them and play with them. Some local mistook me for a cat lover adn offered me two more. The wife thinks I should return to the city with the cats. I'm telling everyone no thanks. well maybe one cat to keep me company and give me something to do. If the kid would come out I could settle on one thing to do. Come on Kaia hurry up I gotta go back to work.

Light reading

phone pics cat 186
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

The book on the left was written in the 60's and is about the early Angels and their gay leather, motorcycles, sex and fist fights in california. The book on the right is based on the true story of a French Canadian Angel who killed bad guys in the early 1990's. Much more interesting read. In exchange for sell-out testominies the killer will be granted a new identity and be released after serving 15 years. (2007). Future book reports should contain quotes but I have to give up my 10 minutes of internet.

Door to table

phone pics cat 191
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

At the prodding and pushing of the in-laws I sliced and diced and expensive door to make a beer table. It had to be done their way. It should have a "..." and a "..." and it can't be too heavy. " Oh now it is too big." They have a barn full of these door that must have fallen off a cargo ship. Anyway it is finished. " Oh the wood is so expensive." " Are you finished yet?"

???

A free drink for anyone who can work out what these equations are for. No surfing the web to find out.

Ponce be Warned

The Hot Tea PJ

Had an opportunity to sit with Frenchie, Big John, and Drug Dealer Kevin two nights ago (needless to say we were not discussing the recent elections in Suriname). Turns out Drug Dealer Kevin (heretofore referred to as Dumbass) has a bone to pick with one six foot six blogger that wears gay hats. He wants him to meet his wife, so she can sort him out with her 'connections.' Apparently he wasn't very appreciative of Karl's recent post regarding the ass kicking Dumbass received at the hands of PJ. Well, there are many other sordid things which were discussed, but then Dumbass decided to go to the back and take some white powdery stuff.........and by the time he came back, he was lacquered up nicely. Which led to and exchange with Kat involving parts of the female body which aren't mentioned in polite company. Which led to Kat's husband Don putting Kevin on the ground. From what I gather, the primary difference between the unrelated ass kickings is that once Don had put him on the ground, he walked away. PJ was not so kind. Anyhow, Don, if you read this, you owe me a drink, mine was on the table you knocked Dumbass onto before he hit the floor.

Typhoon Blogging

So, my Mom arrives on Saturday night and tells me there is a super typhoon coming. Maybe I need to pay attention to local news at some point?

It hits on Sunday night and then Monday morning became quiet and relatively still. Then it pick up again on Monday night and has been raining sense.

We cruised around Feng-Jia doing some errands and there was extensive tree damage and signs blown down. I hope to have some photos up eventually, though they will probably suck.

Maybe if Kevlar isn't too busy becoming a Daddy or Bread isn't too busy wandering around Rye's house in his birthday suit they can get some shots up, too.

mahjong

mahjong
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

I played three games (total 5 hours plus). I lost about 800 nt. I had plently of unwanted assistance from on-lookers. My shoulder got sore from my nervous tension. I passed some time... What can I do next? This baby has got to pop soon. Yesterday was Bretts b-day. He is now 31? Well really old anyway. I'm sure he is having fun Happy BIRTHDAY BRETT. It looked like Kaia might come out yesterday but she was just teasing.

The taichung is hot and the fishing is poor

the tank
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

O-ring check. no leaks check. Pump and hoses check. fish no check. mosquitos (only in the garden) Cotton filters check. flow check. Ebb check. Aspirin check Added all the available salt and it is not enough. Check.
Math question : size of main tank 60 by 60 by 105cm = 378000 cubic cm = 378 litres = 99.85 Us gallons. ok that is probably right. Then probably another 20 gallons for the bottom filter. So how much sea salt is needed to get that up to the right level.. oh yeah ask the fish guy. Duh? ( i have yet to find him helpful). Am I supposed to leave the pump running. suppose I can wait until the salt levels are correct.
By strange conincedence I moved three airconditoners adn a fish tank yesterday.

IVO in OHIO

IVO happy sink

Land of Cleves

Burning River Beer

Does anyone remember back in the 70s when the Cuyahoga River caught fire and Cleveland got a bad rap for being an environmentally unsound city?
Well, our first stop after Grandma Schaeffer's house was the drink store where I came across this little gem. Great Lakes Brewing Co. is marketing this Pale Ale. I gotta say it's a pretty hai hao beverage but the Dortmunder Golden Lager is quite tasty.

We flew from Bangor thru Detroit to Cleveland last Sunday. Back to NB tomorrow reverse route. It's been a regular SchaefferPalooza all week with all of the Sandstress' six siblings and attached others coming and going. On Monday we went to Ohio City's (an inner city city) top used clothing store. It was half price day and man what I gotta admit a bit of culture shock. ALL kinds of people were there and it was kind of like looting but everyone was paying. Sandy said I should have gone to the DMV for a more intense cultural experience...
Tuesday we ate at Uncle Mike's pub, Brendan O'Neill's, an Irish style bar and grill. Tasty, tasty Wasabi Avocado Burger and a couple of pints of a really great beer called Smithwick's. Dark and hoppy. Back to Uncle Mike's for the All-Star game which, I gotta say, was kinda ho-hum. The NL was never really in the game after the 2nd. Jones' bomb off Rogers was pretty sweet.
Last night we all went to Jacobs Field to see the Indians take on the White Sox. It was a great pitcher's duel, Millwood vs. Contreras... final score 1-0 Chisox. We're going again tonight, CC Sabathia vs. Freddy Garcia and I think we've got really good seats. D-Wayne look for us on MLB.com if you're tuning in...
I'm giving Cleveland a pretty good score this trip...
More later...

Still waiting to hear about Kevlar's baby. Any news?

Haikus at 6 o'clock!

Waiting like a dog

while Windows slowly re-boots

I hope Bill Gates dies.

New New blue Who knew?

new smokes
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Seven lights has followed the boy blue theme to the extreme. New summer packaging that has me smoking a pack a day. Store clerks baffled by the color change. More English speakers read the labels and start smoking " The superbly balanced mild seven blend offers an inspiring moment of satisfaction". Who could give up on betel nut girl whispering that in you ear.I also like the swirl nike-esk logo

crabby game

crabby game
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Honing the skills of the hunter gather is not lost in modern Taiwan. For ten kwai a pop, drunken youths slay wild crab and seduce the arcade maidens. When green peace finds out perhaps they will boycott Taiwan computer parts. Immagine the poster children " Taiwanese claw crabs to death!" " Stop the use of robotics for fishing!"..

highway restroom

highway restroom
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Sometimes educators and parents need to be reminded. Let the kid wash his hands. The child can use a basin. Don't beat the basin.
I think the translation is off.

Some of yall might be familiar with Kinky Friedman, and then some of yall might just be culturally deprived. Kinky is a musician, novelist, essayist and now, a politician. He's not your ordinary pseudo-celeb politician. He started out in music with Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. He then moved on to writing novels and articles, notably for Texas Monthly. I prefer his articles. Anyway, the Kinkster was in town and I went to get a book and listen to what he had to say. He is focusing on education, which went over well with the crowd of educators and graduates. Texas spends the least amount of money on education (along with Mississippi)in the nation. The current legislature is convening in a special session concerning that very issue trying to figure out who to take the money from this time. Kinky has an idea. He calls it Slots for Tots. Video Poker terminals in bars will receive a small profit of the take. A local charity will receive a slightly larger portion and the rest will go to education in Texas. His other idea, my favorite, is called The Five Mexican Generals. In this scenario, employers list their need for laborers. Mexicans are documented and assigned jobs to fill the various needs. All others are asked to go back to their casa. The Texas/Mexico border is divided into 5 zones, with a Mexican general designated to oversee their zone. A million dollars is deposited in an account for them for a period of time (couldn't hear that part). For every illegal that is caught coming from any general's zone or the corresponding area in Texas, $5,000 is deducted. After the stated period time is up, the money is the general's. I also I heard him say that he's asked Willie Nelson to be his Energy Advisor, has Jesse Ventura's campaign staff coming down to help and WWE wrestler Goldberg helping to... to... hell, I don't know. Kick some ass, probably.

Taiwan Governance

This post is inspired by Professor Turton's latest posts about Taiwan's goverment's effectiveness. I will run down in no particular order some personal observations of 13 years here.

The Good

• Vast improvement of visas - much streamlining and elimination of paperwork. Remember when exit permits had to be applied for? I also recall trying to register at various local police stations, etc., where the cops didn't even know how to do it. A nightmare.
• The little "dian che" commuter trains from Taichung to Changhua/Fengyuan- with ice cold air conditioning too.
• Helmet law. I thought that would never fly. Changing the motorcycle left turn rules to use the informal technique already popular. That takes some thinking outside the box.
• Broadband. And many government forms can be filed on-line, too.
  

The Mixed

• The attempt to make doctors separate the pharmacy from their operations and cut down on pill prescribing is not working too well.
• The no plastic bag rule. I do think it was partly successful, but I wonder if they could not have simply specified that only one plastic material would be allowed for making bags, and thus make them easy to recycle. But for sure, I use way less bags now and don't miss them.
• Charging for Parking. I like it, but wonder why the truck with the ad on it sat by McDonald's for a month. Oh, and I will credit the EPA with removing abandoned cars after repeated warnings. I think my old Sanyang went this way without me even noticing. R.I.P.
• Improvement in foreign investment rules. Back in The Day, foreign investors had to pay a higher tax rate on profits than Taiwanese. We also can now buy homes. Yay!

The Bad

• Regulation of Cable TV monopolies.
• Import labeling laws, specifically for beer. Too much nitpicking and draconian fines. Example: Heineken had to sue the government to accept the product name could be "beer" instead of the letter of the law "beer type" or face NT$ 1,000 / bottle fines. (Do the math.) Another example, the Taipei authorities suddenly switched to only accepting "production date and expiry date" as opposed to the rest of Taiwan which accepted "production date and a shelf life." (Meanwhile local companies are free to put huge American flags on domestically produced items.) Yes, local language labeling is important for consumers, but decide upon the format and keep it for more than 6 months.
• Why the hell doesn't the high speed train link up with CKS airport? If I am wrong about this, let me know.
  

I think that's enough - any more can be put in the comments section.

Is live furniture kept outside or inside?

Is live furniture kept outside or inside?
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

I asked the topless clerk. Yes! She does come with the live furniture. She said that she likes to drink water everyday, icecream is a turn on. Her favorite color is brown. Her biggest dislike is people who put the parking break on while sitting at a green light on taichung harbor road. She also likes rub tug wax and polish.

It is raining

It is raining
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

One day in the canal there was some water. This machine was seen doing the backstroke. Fortunately the operator was napping under a tree and was un-hurt. He informed the police that he would like to report he lost his favorite ACDC CD , his wife, the dog, his girlfriends phone number and his complete set of hello kitty magnets.

Who is that?

Who is that?
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

In the background quietly slept A-holes secret formula. His master plan to teach his children to say " I -pee- AY". Stealthly the child learned to be more Canadian. Each word ended in AY. " book-AY", "song-AY" "DAD - AY". Overwhelmed A- hole moved to beverly hills Canada.. Truro Nova Scotia. He opened a sand shop, selling tropical beach sands to snow bound Canadians. Offering hopes and dreams. His children singing " the sun will come out tomorrow.." to the tune of O- Canada. After his partner sold the sands of Daytona beach A-hole was overheard telling his taiwan business partners " If we did it my way we would be done by now!".

Guess who?

Who is this?
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Who is that?

Man seen smiling loudly. Inside sceaming "Who's your Daddy?, I'm your Daddy!" "Where's your Daddy?, Here's your Daddy! Boom boom cha ca la ca boom boom

Ditch pig

Ditch pig
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

This speed demon can't climb hills, and just made the free way on ramp. threee cats, tools and a helpless lptop. Traveling with CDs and ACs is awesome. It returned itseld to the lovely nest yesterday and gracefully parked itself in front of its roost. I removed all the weeds and mud from under the bumpers. Then I returned to the dreaded fish tank project.
This vechicle is capable of carring 10 sticks of lumber each 346 cm in length. If Ryan doesn't know how in the F*&#$ to get the back seat to fold down I will never tell. 5 minutes to figure that.. Geez! my smoke was almost out . opel is not a color.. it is a pep less way of saying I wouldn't go even if you pushed me

Bob Geldof's call rallies millions of GED aspirants to invade Africa. At least that is the message I got. While watching one of the approved channels - History Channel, ESPN2/FOX SOUTHWEST, and CMT, I was bushwhacked with a Live 8 report. Now, I had been desperately trying to avoid any coverage of that. I'd already had more than my fill of pre-concert pablum from the musical mentalistas. However, at the end of a Toby Keith song, CMT cut to the finale and a short sermon from Sir Bob. The screen was filled with rockers musical-type people of all sorts climbing over each other to shout the lyrics to "Hey, Jude." Then the Knight Rattus told us of the day's efforts to eliminate poverty. The next shot showed the aftermath of the 9 concerts. The butt-crack flaunting young concert goers displayed a political acumen that will make aging 60's hippies think twice before ever uttering "Woodstock, man!" ever again. With the mountains of garbage they created they will immediately enfranchise thousands of clean-up crew workers to the middle class. However, the money spent by governments on the clean up will probably kill Mauritania.

I was relieved to hear that they didn't want my money (yet). They wanted my voice. Voice to do what? Wait for the G8 and then ask for money? No. They don't want money. Sir Bob would not lie and break the knights code. I think Bob wants my voice to tell the European nations to stop giving money to the governments and start channeling it to NGOs and private businesses. So, I can only surmise that he is calling for a full scale invasion of the impoverished nations and set up a sub-Saharan chain of Wal-Marts.


July 4th. I need first-hand accounts and toxicity reports for yall's July 4th celebration. Please include chili cook-off results. I, myself, am now off to enjoy the festivities of the Hub City.

NB Travel Report

Grand Lake

We landed on a hot and humid Saturday, walked on the tarmac to the terminal in the blinding sun to meet Ivo's grandparents. Even the heat couldn't melt their enthusiasm. Tropical like weather doesn't often visit the Maritimes and we think it may have been stuck to our clothes.

We went to eat at the Irving Big Stop where you can order breakfast and lunch at the same time all day so we did. At the table next to us sat three pigs. They had ordered quite a spread. They started with hors d'oeuvres: the first pig had chicken wings with all the dipping sauces, the next one had jalapeno poppers and the third must have been really sweaty 'cause he had a tall, cool glass of Maritime water.

These farming communities sure can be colourful. We skipped hors d'oeuvres and went straight for the main courses; the servings were huge as expected. Ivo sat in a high chair for the second time, the first being at Friday's on Friday with some favorite uncles. So then, the pigs' main courses arrived. The first pig had a hot roast beef sandwich with a side of poutine smothered in gravy. The second pig had mashed potatoes, vinegared fiddleheads and big slab of fresh brook trout. The third pig had a pitcher of lemon ice water which he drank down with abandon.

The restaurant was really crowded and we couldn't believe that pigs were allowed to sit inside. We didn't say anything 'cause we didn't want to come off as rude. There were some soldiers waiting to be seated. They were wearing kilts. We didn't say anything about that either.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying their meals very much. Ivo was getting to know his Grampy and Grammie. The bottomless black coffee was coupling nicely with that initial return home buzz you get after long stays away.

Finally, it was time for dessert. Being completely stuffed and ready to get on the road for home, we all declined. The pigs seemed to be ready for more however. As the waitress hovered, the first pig ordered a whole apple pie topped with Rocky Road ice cream. The second pig had strawberry shortcake drowned in whipped cream. The third pig again had a tall glass of water. At this point, curiousity got the better of me and I leaned over and said to the third pig, "Aren't you hungry? Why aren't you eating any food?" To which he replied, "Well, someone's gotta go 'Wee, wee, wee' all the way home."

Joke courtesy 8 year old relative. Thanks. I can hear the shhh-ing from here.

One week it has been. One week of sleep, Mexican food, steaks, 5am shopping trips to Super WalMart and watching Nickelodeon with my niece and nephew. Now, however, I can have some real quiet time. The family left for Colorado for 1 week to pass the 4th of July. Me, I prefer to stay here and eat Mexican food and steaks, go early morning shopping, ride my bike in the 103 heat and continue watching Nickelodeon (most of the other channels scare the bejeezus out of me). Lubbock has wi-fi out the wazoo, but few - zero to my knowledge - internet cafes. I'm using my mother's Compaq notebook that doesn't even have a USB port. I've got plenty of posts waiting, just looking for a better place to do it from.

P.S. - If you want to place orders for anything, put it on the comments and state in what manner you will reimburse me.

Taiwan Food Innovations

New forms of rice developed in Taiwan.

New form of eating developed in Taiwan. It saves time by combining other bodily functions.

Have a nice week-end.

Oil Trust in Iraq

I think we should have set up an oil trust in Iraq similar to Alaska's system, where oil royalities are not given to the government to spend, but to individual citizens in the form of a monthly check.

Reasons?

A. This would have hit hard at the idea that theUS is there for the oil.
B. The chance for corruption or misspending of oil wealth would be lessened.
C. It would have been an excellent weapon against the insurgency.

1. The populace would grow angry with any attacks on the oil infrastructure.
2. The Iraqi government would be seen as a clear benefactor.
3. The checks could be used as a carrot to insecure regions by denying them to areas where "it is not safe to deliver the checks." In other words, report the insurgents, tell your son to lay off the RPG attacks and you might get your checks.

Now, there may have been good reasons not to implement this kind of system or there may be drawbacks that I cannot think of.

If anyone says "the reason it wasn't done was Bush wants the oil" then I guess point A is completely correct. Though, there would be no reason under such a system that Halliburton et al could not get the same contracts and business as they would under other systems. It's only a matter of how to distribute the government's portion of the oil income.

Maybe the reasoning against it was that the Iraqi government will need lots of funds or that they should pay for some of their own reconstruction. A partial solution would be to implement a flat 50% witholding tax on the checks specifically for "war and reconstruction." Yet another incentive against the insurgents, because the checks would get bigger once the insurgents are dead.

I wonder if it's too late to encourage them to set up such a system?