Housework, school work and $49NT draft beer have conspired against me to limit my blogging recently. Two have been taken care of, and the third is fixin to take care of me. As a rule, home improvement will suck. The rule remains unbroken. We now have a deck in the front part of our "yard" and new paint - again - in the living room and kitchen. The deck unites the sidewalk and the grass. No more stepping in or over the gutter. Some, mainly Canadianers, will say that the deck is slanted. I say "Ha!", it's just a trompe l'oeil using the crafty technique of raising one side higher than the other. In any case, Canadianers will not be allowed to touch or utilize anything wooden at my house.

The painting was left to true experts. The last pair of painters were not considered this time because they were too drunk at KTV to come and bid. Instead we hired the electrician. He turned out to do the best job of anybody. The living room is very important to my wife and her work. Therefore, she secured the services of a Taiwanese interior designer (Please shudder here). She suggested either a pale, industrial green or a "safe" corn silk yellow. "Safe" for everybody but Col. Mustard. Apparently he and his kin have been exploded onto our living room walls. Which just goes to show you, Taiwanese interior designers are like gas barbecues-nonexistent. The kitchen color was left to me. Under orders to lighten up the room a bit (from white?), I choose a light sky blue. Which it turns out, is perfect for when Barbie and her friends come for tea. Which just goes to show you, I would have made a helluva Taiwanese interior designer.

Word from the Oracle is that A.I.T. will set up a small consular office in the library at Taichung Park. Initially, it will serve only as a reference room for those interested in going to the States. But, we have been assured that it will provide the same services the mothership provides in Taibei. Give credit to Amcham Jack. Hooray! Okay? See, there's credit. Apparently he pushed the a-holes in Taibei into this. Once-a-month service at Morrison has been stopped for about 8 months. No more long drive and putting up with the barely sentient help. It's only a few minutes away.

Jamie and Jeff will host an open-mike at PJ's on Sundays beginning next week. Musicians are welcome to come and join in. Spoken-word freaks, DJs and didgeridoo players are not.

Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew. Now, very near my house on Zhong Min Nan Road, three doors down from the Sinon. $30NT a can AND buy 5 get 1 free. Derek! I'm givin you the Finga!