Every four years like clockwork mC CP (aka, Colin Powell) returns to the scene with more certifiable gold. Who can forget the 2004 straight-to-bootleg release cover of "Knuck You if Buck Freestyle" (There is only one China. Taiwan is not independent. It does not enjoy sovereignty as a nation) ?
I've had my nose in the books for too long this year. Fortunately this week at work has been S L O W. So I now have time to read about baseball and I can't wait for the season to start. Lots of things have been keeping me busy away from the office and I suppose the details of those events would be better left out of a baseball prediction column. I will add this it was a sloppy fantasy draft and the E's were unorganized and uninformed. The Liriano pick really shifted my game not to mention Swisher. Anyways, on to the column. AL EAST Look at the intensity in this man. He seems determined and tenacious, which best describe the Red Sox. I hate this team for obvious reasons but I have to predict them to finish at the top of the East for a second straight year. Even without oldman Schilling the Sox look to have a great pitching staff. I like the offense and I expect Mr. Attitude to have a bounce back year. It all spells trouble for other AL East teams.
The Yanks and Jays will battle things out for second in the division and all although "Mulliniks, who will be working 65 games as an analyst for Rogers Sportsnet and CBC, is calling the Jays to win the World Series" I don't find this even a possibility if the Jays continue to limp. As for the Yanks, if the team is counting on the arm of Mussina to be their number two guy? Oops Pettite? Do you get the message? Yanks need someone to break out this year to compete. Speaking of break out, I like the young talent the Rays have and feel they will upset a few series this year. Probably all against the Jays. Baltimore is awful, thank god the Jays can pound on them to boost up their record. AL CENTRAL I can't help but love the Tigers again this year. With the big trade they aquired Mr. Pound the ball Cabrera and Mr. Sloppy Joe Willis who might not even finish the season as a starter. It doesn't matter, I love the new big bat at third and a veteran led bullpen. Pitching is good enough to keep this team in an offensive battle and Verlander will win 20. I also like the Indians for the wildcard. I didn't think they had it last year, but I stand corrected. Look for a big year from Hafner and Sizemore and the Tribe will definately need Sabathia and Carmona to have twin seasons to last. I think the Sox will bounce back from a horrid last season. I'm sure they've got to have a sleeper pitcher but I'm not too sure who that is. This team loaded? Rumour has it Swisher will bat lead off? Old bats, could win. The Twins remain a team who will remain competitive but are in the rebuilding process. They have always had a great farm and I expect similar win totals to last year. The Royals will win more but still remain out of contention. AL WEST Look how you this team is. They were winning last season but to be honest it's going to be a toss up. The Angels bats are fierce and some say the pitching is strong in Seattle. I personally like the Angels, but where's the pitching? Santana can pitch at home and Lackey is a solid #1 . I doubt Hunter will have a repeat season and the whole AL West smells fishy to me. Perhaps the Rangers can rise up from an era of mediocrity and steal this division or the money ballers from Oakland play money ball again. Anyways, I could care less but I take offense over pitching in this division. Angels.
I was quite proud of picking A-ROD to be MVP even though I can't stand him and I'll go with him again. He's the real deal and I believe he should be compared to the legends of history. I think this year I'll pick Verlander to win the CY.
Playoffs Tribe over Boston , Detroit over Angels Detroit over Tribe
I think I know why March is not the tourist season in Germany. It's 3 degrees here in Mainz and raining and snowing and such. Spring has arrived!
Also, this is secular Germany and its Easter weekend, so almost nothing is open. Thank God the Turks keep the Kebab shops open, or I would have been starving. The Doner Kebab standard is great, but I tried a burrito-like Durum which was good as well.
Usually when I am in Germany I try to avoid eating German food (except for breakfast which they do so well you don't really need lunch or dinner.) But the employee has to try it. So we sit in some dark and musty "traditional" restaurant and I ordered her a Schweinhaxe, which is pretty much what it sounds like: some part of the pig hacked out and served with massive amounts of potatoes and sauerkraut.
Now, the employee is an asian female, so the waiter puts us up in the "romantic" balcony. Later on another whitey/asian female couple is sent up. Then a family comes up - asian father, German mother, with offspring. I am getting nervous. Should I feel comforted by all of the diversity, or are the Germans segregating us for some nefarious purpose?
I made the mistake of using my actual voice to order the Schweinhaxe and not pointing at the numbers, so the waiter insists I read my order as well, uhhhh, Bauernschamewaggggeh? I believe it is a version of the farmer's breakfast...so you can see, the Germans truly do breakfast correctly. Dr. Atkins would not approve.
Somehow I really fit in here in Europe. On Day 1 three different people asked me for directions, twice in Dutch and once in German. This has happened to me before. Next time I plan to have a massive Canadian flag on each piece of clothing and luggage to put a stop to this. I have a big suspicion that Karl might get similar attention in Germany except that everyone is asking him for weed, not for directions. That dude looks frickin' German. Like Rye looks Israeli-French. or J-hole looks Bosnian refugee.
Paraphrasing of Lord Acton's "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
Spoken by? President-elect Ma Ying-jeou last night after his victory. This short report from the China Times has several of his other promises in Chinese that is not too difficult to read with a little assistance from the Yahoo dictionary.
I should add that when Ma spoke the words about power, he said he acknowledged the truth of this and would strive to be careful and not abuse it.
My first attempt at sloganeering in Chinese came in response to the pathetic attempts by the pan-blues to recall President Chen Shui Bian. After much anger and little thought, they came up with 倒 扁 (ㄉㄠˇㄅㄧㄢˇ) - Topple (Ah) Bian. Add a down turned thumb and an upturned nose and you have the equivalent of a six-year old sticking out his tongue and calling you a poopy head. In classic four-character Chinese style, I came to their rescue with 壓 扁 阿扁( ㄧㄚ ㄅㄧㄢˇㄚ ㄅㄧㄢˇ) - Flatten Ah-Bian. This has the beauty of using his own name coupled with 壓 to mean flatten. It also might be an inside rhyme, but I would have to check with DJ Red A to be sure.
For the KMT I have a terse, polite response when confronted by all the flag waving, larynx-enhanced Hsieh supporters: 不 謝!
For the soon-to-be-disappointed Hsieh followers, I have prepared this for after Ma is sworn in. This works better visually, but I'm practicing making it work well when spoken. 馬 總 統. ( You have to look closely, but the second character has a strikethrough. Now do you get it?)
For neither of the above: 選 馬 , 不 謝 . Figure it out yourself.
Much has been made about the Japanese internment camps here in the United States during WWII. What is often forgotten are the Germans and Italians which were similarly interned. Fort Missoula 'hosted' over one hundred Italians during the war, including Alfredo Cipaloto. I had the honor of singing with Alfredo over the past few years in a community men's chorus which he founded some 60 years ago.
A couple of weeks ago, he did what I thought impossible. He got me into a church, in a suit, and singing. His funeral that week filled the church with over 400 people. An amazing tribute to an amazing man. Click on this link to read about Alfredo and then click the link to the top right to see him in the Broadway Market which he ran up until his late eighties. The Greatest Generation indeed.
The Taiwan presidential election is tomorrow. Here are the most recent TV ads by the candidates. The first one is from Ma Ying-jeou. It starts with various supporters stressing the need for change: change the times, the future and the current predicament. Then others from different areas around the country state their readiness. Ma then comes out after the horses run around and says that for the sake of Taiwan's future and next generation, Taiwan must...yes, change This is the DPP's Frank Hsieh's commercial. His theme is guard and protect. He reminds us of Taiwan's experience with authoritarianism and the negative results. Oh, and parents, you need to teach your children well - especially about the things at the first of the commercial and the scary Mr. Ma pointing at you in the TV in the background.
I have been intrigued by both candidates rush to the center. Hsieh has distanced himself from President Chen and Ma made a remarkable, in my mind, turnaround this week. He had previously stated that the future of Taiwan was to be decided by people on both sides of the strait, i.e., Taiwanese and a billion-plus Chinese. Now he says that decision is reserved only for Taiwanese. He is also the loudest voice advocating a potential Olympic boycott. Pretty bold talk for a handsome KMT hand puppet.
The KMT has made much about other officials having green cards in the past (if they be DPP). An election eve announcement without ample time to respond to or question Shaheen could/will/might/won't harm Ma's lead. I say this with such confidence because I am confident of only one thing concerning Taiwanese voters. There's no way in hell you can ever tell what they are thinking.
There probably are better explanations, but I thought Ma enjoyed about a 20% lead in the polls. My wife has been in the States for the last 10 days and I haven't had my usual daily news fix, so pardon any obvious reasons I have overlooked.
If I recall correctly, D-Wayne and Rye were pretty much of the same opinion. Ma is an asshole...and many other bad-word things. He definitely has a green card. He is a jackass. He is going to win the election. He is a horse's ass. And, this is where D-Wayne sorta confused me, after he wins China invades and he takes his millions and goes to China. Where he will live the life of a rich, privileged asswipe.
Sorry if I didn't get it down correctly, guys. But you can post and correct any errors.
Finally, I would like to know your ideas about the new Ma and election predictions and post-election results.
Broken Link on the Hsieh video. I will fix it soon, but both his and Ma's sites are down due to so much traffic. So, in its stead, here is a Hsieh girl video.
I am heading out tomorrow to Germany and Holland to visit customers. It should be a fun trip since its slushy and cold in Europe and I get to enjoy raising prices for my products by 20% as steel prices have soared last month. Nothing I like better than getting my teeth kicked in by a customer.
So far, I have seen my kid for about 5 days this month. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and her new Filipino accent is pretty cute too. (She actually does know there are two ways to say "elephant" E-luh-funt like Dad and E-Lah-Font like Violetta.)
Lucky for me the near collapse of the American economy coupled with ever-rising raw material costs means I could be seeing my kid a lot more. As in unemployed levels of quality time. I'll probably end up with a Filipino accent, too. Silver lining.
Can somebody please tell me the difference between Dior Fahrenheit 0 degrees and Fahrenheit Summer? I've been going metrosexual lately and need this question answered.
Once they are finished, the Chinese can invade Taiwan safely. Now, I am sure the pan-blue election results will make that a non-starter, but let's go back in a time-warp to see what was said about an invasion of Taiwan in 2006.
Most of the initial fighting would be in the Zhong Zheng District, Taipei, which contains the Presidential Building, the Ministry of National Defense, and the Legislative Yuan.
Thank God I live in Taichung!
Infiltrators might receive some assistance from sympathetic elements within Taiwan's military and police, who are believed to be at least 75 percent pro-Kuomintang (KMT), and hence, pro-unification. Many could use taxis to move about the city unnoticed. Mainland Chinese prostitutes, already in abundance in Taiwan, could be recruited by Chinese intelligence to serve as femme fatales, supplying critical intelligence on the locations of key government and military leaders at odd hours of the night; death is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
No, I did not make that quote up. Lay back and think of China.
Except for special forces and the marines, it is unlikely that the rest of Taiwan's infantry brigades scattered across the island would do much. As the saying goes, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that matters." Taiwan's military is rife with lethargic and ineffectual troops just begging for their 20-month tour of duty to end so they can go back to their girlfriends and jobs.
Lethargic and ineffectual. That's what she said! (Joke courtesy of Malv.)
Taiwan's navy would have little to do in this war scenario, except sink like rocks.
Sink like R-O-C's.
Once Taipei was captured, a new government chosen by Beijing would be sworn into office. There would be plenty of Taiwanese politicians to choose from. It is well known there are many pro-China legislators who have investments in China and more than a few who have had private meetings with Beijing officials. The inauguration would be conducted in the spotlight of the international media, giving it some psychological legitimacy in the eyes of the international community. There would be too many pro-China people in the US State Department - privately relieved the Taiwan issue was finally settled - to say anything in Taiwan's defense.
Panda-huggers at State - what can't they do? Its a funny story in some ways, where the Chinese execute their plan flawlessly while the Taiwanese bumble along and are pro-China anyways. My experience in China is that ordering a meal there is a trial of great difficulty, let along organizing a combined armed invasion of the island of Taiwan, but they have been improving their service in the restaurants, and the PLA cannot be far behind.
Yesterday I sat in the library from 1pm - 10pm, then went out with some friends and consumed mass amounts of vodka (and cranberry juice). Ended up at the Ox getting some late night Chicken Fried Steak. Stumbled back to campus (where my car was), determined I was too lit to drive it, and proceeded to crash on the law school sofa in the break room until now. It's 9am and I'm working a shift at the library, reeking of booze and cigarettes and listening to jackhammers go off in my head. I think I'm too old for this shit.
Climbing over the Great Firewall to learn that the Canadians have been fighting with Taiwanese on TV. Why do I have to miss all the good stuff? I could have gone around town wearing a USA flag patch on my backpack to make sure all the locals know that I am not one of those god damned Canadians.
I also missed Tom coming to town. Thanks for the text message invites.
Friday Boxes... Everything was pretty much settled anyway. Korea beat Taiwan 4-3, Canada edged Germany 2-1, Mexico over Spain by the same score and the Saffies finally scored some runs! 11 of them but they gave up 13 in a loss to Oz...
My Taiwanese co-workers have swallowed what the Taiwanese media has said about Canada being "rude, rough, and unsportsman like". This photo stirs the pot in my office.
Canada hung on to beat the Koreans 4-3 in Taichung tonight. We took a 4-1 lead into the 9th and almost blew it. Korea has a scary offense. The 30 or so Canadians in the crowd were invited onto the field for a group pic with Team Canada after the game. We have officially qualified for the Beijing Olympics with the win. First defeat of the tourney for the Korea.
In other games the Aussies took down Spain 9-0, Taiwan beat South Africa 4-0 and Mexico shut out Germany by the same score 4-0.
Germany v Canada tomorrow in Duo Liu.
Koreans play Taiwan at 6:30 which is sure to be a packed house here in Taichung.
The title says "He did it on purpose!" I am looking for more info because the 5th grade is confessing to throwing trash at the Canadian team. I only caught the 9th and 10th innings. I checked the Taipei Times. It said after making contact with the taiwanese catcher the Canadian was out. In celebration the catcher threw the ball up and it hit the Canadian on the helmet... which led to both benches clearing.
click the title for the link to the Taipei times article.
I was at the Canada - Taiwan game last night in Taichung.
It was one of the best live baseball games I've ever seen.
Of course, it was all the sweeter because Canada won.
It was packed tight. And it was loud. Real loud.
Our seats were in the upper deck right behind home plate. Great view of the field.
Here's a quick run down.
Top 1 - Canada bats. We go down in order.
Bottom 1 - With men on first and third, our shortstop throws away a sure DP. TW scores 2 unearned runs. 2-0 TW.
Top 2 - 2 bunt singles, a sacrifice and a couple hits tie it up. 2-2.
Scoreless through the 3rd and 4th. Both pitchers settle in a bit. We go for a beer run and a smoke.
Top 5 - A hard slide into second breaks up a Taiwan DP and Stubby Clapp scores. 3-2 Canada.
Top 6 - Nicolas Weglarz launches a laser beam over the right field fence. 4-2 Canada.
It gets almost quiet in the place, but not really. We celebrate wildly.
Bottom 6 - The real drama starts. The wave circles the park a couple of times. Canada quickly gets 2 out. Shortstop Lin Chi Sheng singles off our 3rd baseman's glove. Chang Chi Hsien lines one off our shortstop's glove. 1st and 2nd. Luo Kuo-hui drives a 3-1 pitch over the right centre field wall. Shit. The stadium erupts. 5-4 Taiwan.
I actually had my camera rolling for that homer and caught some of the initial madness on digital. I stopped filming pretty quickly. Don't know why. I think I was in shock. Or annoyed. Definitely drunk by this time. It happened so fast.
Top 8 - Still 5-4 Taiwan. Taiwan starter Ni gets lifted with 2 out in the 8th. Reliever gives up a single to Jimmy Van Ostrand. Walks Weglarz. Up comes Emerson Frostad to pinch hit. We're on our feet. Frostad lines a hard liner into shallow right. For some reason the Canadian third base coach sends Van Ostrand. The throw from right field beat the runner easily and he bowls over the catcher with an excellent hit, trying to dislodge the ball. Third Out. Shit. Crowd goes crazy. The catcher, Yeh, I think, then spikes the ball at the feet of Van Ostrand as he walks back to the dugout. Van Ostrand takes issue with this. There are words. The Taiwanese manager emerges pointing a finger at someone. Benches clear. There's pushing and shoving. Some assholes in the crowd start throwing bottles on the field. The bottles are being thrown deliberately at the Canadian players and bench. There seems to be the impression throughout the crowd that the hit on the catcher was out of line. I don't think it was. (And I've just now watched the replay on TV. It wasn't.) "THAT'S BASEBALL!" we shout. My throat is killing me. I curse a blue streak in the general direction of the bottle throwers. "THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!" god we're worked up. Police are deployed throughout the stadium and the game is delayed at least 20 minutes.
I'd like to send out a big Ni Howdy Fuck You to those assholes who threw shit on the field last night. You're a disgrace to your country and the game of baseball.
Interestingly, the replay on TV tonight didn't show any of the melee and none of the bottles being thrown on the field.
Top 9 - With 2 out and nobody on Stubby Clapp gets an infield hit on a close play at first. There's hope. Wild pitch. Oh baby. Stubby's on second. Mike Saunders singles to right. Stubby rounds third and slides. Safe! Ohhh BABY! Yeah! We freak out. My throat is on fire. 5-5. Stubby does some acrobatic flips on the way to the dugout. He's mobbed by his teammates. The crowd is stunned and gets quiet for a few minutes before the side is retired.
Nothing across for the Taiwanese in the last half of the 9th.
Top 10 - We get a lead off single followed by a double to the gap in right centre. We score. 6-5 Canada. We get a third hit and actually have 1st and 3rd with nobody out but can't push any more across.
Bottom 10 - Taiwan gets 2 hits and 2 men on before grounding into a game ending double play. We go nuts. We can't believe it. I am so happy I hug Dwayne and rub his belly. We stagger out. Dwayne is wearing a Canadian flag as a cape.
We talk to a lot of Taiwanese after the game. A lot of them want to take Dwayne's picture. They shake our hands and say congrats, good game. Excellent sportsmanship shown. All of them apologize for the behavior of the bottle hoodlums and want us to know that is not representative of the majority of Taiwanese.
Congratulations to our man Dean for getting married on Friday afternoon.
We here at Ni Howdy wish him and Elena all the best.
Also, I am nominating Dean Baseball Fan of the Season for spending his entire honeymoon/wedding weekend at the ballpark (Taichung and Dou Liu, 4 games total) drinking beer with his buddies while his new bride worked.
Way to go, Deano.
*EDIT 3/11 - Dean's wife's name is Helena, not Elena as written above. Damn silent H's.
I'm a poor correspondent. Here's a link to Saturday's box scores. We caught Canada's drubbing of the Saffies but left early cause some guy in the press box threw a ball back into the crowd and hit the Sandstress on the head. She was nursing Burl at the time. She's fine. Indignant but fine. Thankfully it didn't hit little Burly or the other 2 babies sitting there with their mothers.
Korea smoked the Aussies. No, eviscerated would be a better description. It was painful. And the Korean section was really noisy about it too. Damn those plastic bats. They had hot cheerleaders though.
Here are Sunday's box scores. The Krauts gave CT a run and only lost 2 - 0. I watched that game on TV cause I couldn't find the Canada - Australia game anywhere. They showed a replay later but only after I already knew the score. I knew that OZ wasn't as bad as the Koreans made them look on Saturday night. Canada fell 10 - 5. Sad news. I received a couple updates from Deano in Dou Liu. There sure wern't many people there...
Tonight Canada plays CT. I'm headin out there assuming the rain hold off. CT and Korea are both 3-0. Canada, OZ are at 2-1. Complete standings here.
Baseball Saturday afternoon at the intercontinental stadium in Taichung.
Canada vs. South Africa at 12:30.
Dwayne and I are taking out families up for the game. Come join us!
Hope to return later in the evening for the Korea - Australia match up.
John Kuhel and his minions from Tainan will be there.
Sunday baseball has Canada vs. Australia at 12:30 in Dou Liu.
Dou Liu is 45 minutes south of Taichung on the 3, I think.
Word is that ballpark may be the nicest in Taiwan.
I know Dwayne and Dean are planning to go.
I may talk the fam into a Sunday drive as well.
Korea v. Mexico at 6:30 same ballpark.
Monday night in Taichung Canada v. Chinese Taipei.
Dwayne and I already have tix. Deano's coming too and another feller.
They supposedly have outfield bleachers now installed at the intercontinental stadium so it'll no doubt be easier to just show up to the host games and get a seat.
Canada v. Korea 6:30 Thursday the 13th in the Chung too.
There are 1,585 flights per week flying on small aircraft from LAX.
There are over 4,502 domestic flights per week from LAX.
There are over 2,643 long haul flights per week from LAX.
There are 59 airlines operating out of LAX.
56 airlines daily.........
It's a beautiful day so far and before I go and meet Mr. Bean at the mom & pop ( where I can run a tab ) for a frosty adult beverage or two, I'll leave with one congratulatory remark, a question and a suggestion.
Beer Factory? On Saturday, huh? Well, I was there at the scheduled time and failed to see any co-drinkers. D-Wayne, i am there ?
Five links that I think are worth your time to view. Two are about the Laffer Curve. It includes both conservative and liberal misconceptions. Another two are about income disparity in the U.S. The final one is part of the Drew Carey Project for reason.tv.
Well, it's been a little over a month since I stepped out from behind the bar, and all is good. More time with the family, which is great. And having weekends off is cool, but I do miss seeing everybody on a regular basis. And paying for beer is not pleasant at all. The last night at FuBar was a heck of a party. The beer was flowing, people were happy and my dad was hammered and trying to pick up the local talent. After meeting my dad, people have a better understanding of why I am like I am. Thanks to all for making my two years as Laoban extremely enjoyable.
We went to Taipei on Thursday to get my passport and decided to go to the zoo. It wasn't too cold and the place was very busy.
in the penguin house
spanking the monkey, literally
near one of the food stands
Trey has reached a critical point in his development where he needs to know all. So he asks "Why?" All the freakin' time. "Why?" I tell him to go ask his A-Ma. She knows everything.
Wives sure are funny sometimes. I got a text message from Dino regarding the bash at the beer factory and was trying to figure out a way to broach the subject with Winnie (seeing as everytime I go there, somebody spikes the beer). And she mentioned it to me. Even asked if I needed any money!! Glory Glory! Praise Jebus!
