6/28 BFP Round 2

6/28 Beer Fest Pics

Random

Joke of the Day

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golfballs and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, 'Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?'


Training Day






WHY?



What do the video clip and the pic have in common? (see labels for answer)

Look, Listen and Live

Good advice anyway u look @ it......





123 main st

$100NT / $3.30US Haircut

Located inside of the Carrefour building, next to the entrance, is CQ2. CQ2 is a four-seater haircut place. No frills and usually no waiting except for back-to-school time when Moms take their tykes to get shorn.

I took this picture after getting my buzz cut. The little boy is David, one of my wife's students. You can notice that his shirt and right pants leg appear to be wet. That is because he threw up on himself and was sitting, happily, waiting for his mother as she went into Carrefour to buy him a new pair of pants.

At CQ2, you place your $100NT into the machine that David is leaning against and get a ticket with a number on it. When your number is up, enter and let them work their low-level magic. When you are finished, they vacuum you. You can see one of the white vacuum hoses hanging above the purple $100NT sign on the left.

Everyone knows who wears it but who said it?

WANT ADS

I need a substitute teacher, so I can take a vacation. August 4 - 8. Kindy/ESL. 9am -5pm, off from 12 til 2. I might have someone who can do mornings, so even someone who can cover afternoons would be great. Spread the word!

Smell my shoe! And my pit!

Watching sportscenter in English this week has been an absolute pleasure. Setting lineups in fantasy leagues at supper time as opposed to 6 AM has been equally wonderful.

I'd never seen a manager protest a call like this before.

Minor league manager Kash Beauchamp telling the ump he stinks.

AXN Sunday Afternoon

Man Vs. Beast II

5 midgets will race against a 1,500 lb. camel.

If anyone knows who won, let me know, because I changed the channel.

No Hitters, Stoney's move, and Murakami

Went to a ball game in Helena the other night. The visiting Osprey scored a single run in the top of the first (after loading the bases with no outs). And a good thing they did, as three Osprey pitchers (including Jesse Orosco, Jr.) combined to throw a no hitter. The game took two hours flat and would be the last win the Osprey would post until....? Yes, the current, post no hitter losing streak is at 10 (pending the outcome of this evening's game against the Idaho Falls Chukars) and none of the games have been close. Depressing times in the world of A ball.

Stoney has returned to this side of the Pacific, meaning our list of contributors is now balanced between North America and Eastern China. Good luck on this side Rye, enjoy clean air, large women, and beast f...er's ranch porn.

Finally, I made a rule about reading Murakami at night during law school. I simply will not do it. He tends to leave me perplexed and staring into the darkness at three in the morning grasping to understand exactly what I have just read. Well, I broke my little rule for his lesser known novel South of the Border, West of the Sun. The novel centers on a middle aged man twisting around in life, recounting his own past, etc. -- typical Murakami stuff. I thought surely I could read it for an hour and put it down. Alas. I read the whole thing, meandered to the living room, sat down on my carpet and wallowed in my own confusion until sunrise when I had to go to work. Lesson: self imposed, stupid rules are there for a reason (like don't take home girls who have more rings on their face than on their ears) and should not be broken lightly. I will not be reading Murakami at night again.

Poker

My house, Saturday night. Call if you can make it. Iron cross will be permitted, but I ain't playin.

No cover charge, and no games with the unlikely name of "Karl's game with Brett's variation using southern Georgian hand values"

HOWIGATI

Best Video Ever, watch to the end!

Half Way Round The World in 44 Hours

It's only 11 AM but I'm cracking a beer. I can't help it. My body thinks it's midnight Wednesday.
We are successfully installed in the New Brunswick countryside coping with massive jet lag but elated to be here. It's 30 degrees and muggy but refreshing compared to those last hectic days in Taichung, packing and sweating.

We caught the midnight flight to Vancouver Monday and arrived there 11 and a half hours later, which turned out to be 5 and half hours or so before we left. So we got to do parts of the 7th twice. We struggled through immigration and customs, spent 7 hours at a hotel in crappy Richmond before flying the next morning on a delayed (2 hours) flight to Toronto, hence missing our connection to Freddy Town. That flight, which we were lucky enough to reschedule for the same day, was delayed a further 2 hours due to heavy rains. We arrived in Freddy Town at 1:15 AM Wednesday morning and to my parents' house at 3 AM, putting the total travel time at somewhere around 44-45 hours.

Here are some things I learned moving half way around the world with my wife, 2 kids, 7 20+ kg bags, 4 carry ons, 2 laptops and a stroller.

- We had a lot of shit. More than I thought. We were still moving it an hour before departure.

- Kevlar will take your stuff. He may say he won't but in the end he will. Thanks Kev.

- I needed to hire 2 cabs to get us and the stuff to the HSR in Wu Re.

- The HSR station doesn't have any carts for carrying luggage. No porters either.

- There are no carts because they are "...unsuitable and dangerous."

- It became clear once we got to the platform that managing our luggage and the kids was going to be impossible. We decided to get a cab. Rather, cabs.

- The HSR staff will refund your purchased tickets at a 20 NT penalty.

- I probably paid too much but both drivers were awesome and friendly. It was a smooth ride. I should have arranged a van to begin with.

- The red eye to Vancouver is great if you have kids. They slept most of the way.

- Vancouver airport has porters. I hired a man named Amir immediately after getting through immigration. He ended up waiting for us while we were being detained at customs.

- It's easier to say that you're just visiting Canada than you're actually moving to Canada, especially if someone in the family isn't Canadian. This mistake cost us an extra 2 hours.

- Telling the truth is for suckers. And this just in, nice guys finish last.

- You can store your bags at the airport.

- Richmond BC is pretty lame after 11pm. Everything was in Chinese but there were no people around. And no food. Weird. Had to walk a mile to a Tim Horton's.

- 3 year olds will pick gum from underneath seats and while chewing ask, "What is this?"

- 1 year olds, at least mine does anyway, love pay phones.

- Air Canada will give you a free drink if your flight has been delayed. Otherwise it's 6 bucks per.

- Headphones are free but a blanket and pillow combo costs 2 bucks.

- 3 olds usually need to use the facilities near or at final boarding calls.

- We were the last ones off every flight.

- AC flight attendants like to gossip about who's screwing the pilot.

- Don't let your kids play in the path of shackled convicts under police escort.

- We traveled with 2 laptops but no one ever asked us to turn them on and we only had to show them once.

- After each flight landed Ivo asked, "Are we in Canada now?"

- This beer tastes like another.

Is it just me?

Or do these stewardesses just seem a little bit too touchy with each other?

off 2 U

Another Taiwan Beer Factory moment.
Last picture a little fuzzy....
Could b th beer?
Or may b th Taiwanese behind the camera:)




123 main street

Hats

Tyler: King Vitamin or Burger King?

Hannibal: Went MIA after the cancellation of Hello Larry.

PJ: One of the two humans to touch The Dogs Who Shall Not Touch Earth.

Red A: We're not sure if that's even a hat or a halo of barley.

Karl: A reprise, but vampire hunters are always cool.

Frenchie: Claims it's not a location, but a proclamation.

Bread: I'm still using freeware. I can't crop everything. And no, Frenchie isn't looking to harm Bread. That's just his I-don't-like-male-breasts-throw-up-face.

Lance: Now, this guy would never get a ticket in Montana.

"It's been a good run."

Weekend BBQ

I no sum of u don't consider this BBQ,
but it b th best we have in Dongguan:)

4th of July left ovrs ........


b opn from China?
X-strait flights?
RMB/NTD xchange?

What this Asia coming 2 .......
Billionaires, Swiming pools & movie stars .......

The Chief

Our New Overlords

Chinese commandos riding segways.

Last Weekend

Thanks to all you drinkers for coming out to the brewery in Wu Re last Saturday for my going away gathering. A drunk time was had by all.

I'll post some pics later when the kids are sleeping.

As for our last couple of nights in Taichung, we'll be on Soho St with the kids Sunday night round 6 for some pizza and final farewells.

Tonight, I don't know what's happening. Probably some preliminary packing. Some vodka too.

I don't have anyone's number anymore so if you wanna grab a bevvie tonight gimmee a call on my land line - 23146323.

Also, if you're supposed to be taking something out of my house, come get it before Monday.

Happy 4th of July Part II

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast-line. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed. "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them."

Happy 4th of July

As one of the American co-writers had to bring Canada day to our attention I thought I'd share this great pic.

Or try this one here.

Enjoy and all the best!

4th of July

I am at work, but I have to take the afternoon off to watch the kid. Actually, she'll be sleeping, so I guess I am just there in case of emergency. Which leaves me with a delicious dilemma of what to do with my time home (almost) alone.

I was thinking about celebrating the 4th of July this afternoon as follows:

PLAN A

1. Enjoy all-American lunch of frozen burritos and spicy habenero Doritos.
2. Crack an ice-cold Miller beer. (made in the USA with Union pride.)
3. Play a game of Civ 4 as the Americans.

PLAN B

1. Eat a bian-dang...mmmmm, bitter melon.
2. Drink warmish boiled water.
3. Help with household chores...maybe hang up some laundry to dry?

Cross-Strait Flights Begin Tomorrow: We're All Rich!

Cross-strait flights. Tomorrow everything will be okay because...you know...cross-strait flights. Chinese tourists casually throwing around money like the cellophane from their cigarette packs. The initial daily limit of Chinese tourists is 3,000, increasing to 10,000 in 4 years. Tomorrow will only see 687 tourists arriving (90 of which are either officials or journalists).

The Taipei Times devotes its entire second page to Cross-Strait Flights! Four world-class articles and a picture of police practicing handling mock demonstrators sitting in front of a poster-sized picture of CKS Hall. I'd definitely buy that for a dollar!

Highlights:

• Staff reporters Mo Yan-Chih and Jimmy Chuang report on Independent Taipei City Councilor Chen Chien-ming's (陳建銘) concern about the authorities being able to track down Chinese tourists who break the law by doing things such as spitting or throwing cigarette butts in public places. I did have a whole load of crap to say about this, but will let Councilor Chen's following load of crap suffice.

"The city government should conduct assessments on all the possible impacts of Chinese tourists. I call upon the city government to set up regulations to handle violations made by Chinese tourists.”

• Under the headline "Hoteliers bracing for Chinese tourists and culture shock," Ralph Jennings, Reuters, Taipei, Grand Hyatt Taipei, 11th floor, has this to say,

Taiwan citizens, who are influenced heavily by hyper-polite Japan, fear Chinese will yell, spit or cut in on queues, all of which are an anathema to many Taiwanese.

What? He is in Taiwan, right? Not Thailand?

Marriage saving addendum: After showing this to my wife (and ducking) I explained to her that I agreed in part but there is still room for improvement. Taiwanese have also shown themselves to adapt very quickly from terrible practices to near-trendsetters. Now I can sleep with both eyes closed tonight.

Mr. Jennings also states that Chinese, unlike the Taiwanese, will also haggle on the prices of small purchases, merchants at tourist hotspots say.

Well that may be so. But isn't that like debating the merits of absolute zero versus -300F?

• Lastly a combination from Shih Hsiu-Chuan and Shelley Shan.

Let's start with this from Premier Liu Chao-shiuan (劉兆玄).

He said yesterday the government would not remove signs representing the country because of the arrival of Chinese tourists, adding, however, that it could not force the private sector to act against its will.

Wow, this guy either has a pair or he forgot that his boss, Mr. President Ma, did just that when he was mayor of Taipei and pulled the ROC flag for the Olympic flag while also displaying the Chinese flag.

Look at the second part of the statement about not forcing the private sector to act against its will. In regard to the cross-strait flights, Taiwanese and Chinese airlines were supposed to be allowed to choose the airports they would like to fly in and out of. They both chose only two - Taoyuan International and Songshan in Taipei. And then, government acts.

After a complaint from Kaohsiung Mayor Chen Chu (陳菊), however, the Civil Aeronautics Administration (CAA) asked Uni Air for one round-trip flight between Kaohsiung and Guangzhou tomorrow.

TransAsia Airways would probably not have considered flying to the east coast if it were not for Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) Legislator Fu Kun-chi’s (傅崑萁) willingness to pay for a charter flight between Hualien and Xiamen. ( At least she's footing the bill.)

The Taichung City Government also managed to have a Mandarin Airlines flight leave from Chingchuankang Airport (in Taichung) to Xiamen, although the return flight will land at Magong in Penghu County. Mayor Hu 萬 歲 !

Well, the government has definitely done their part. What are you going to do to make sure you get a piece of the pie?

*Welcome guys and gals from I-NCKU

The Tonka XII issue, vol 11

Th Tonka highway........




The migrating birds fly low over the sea.
Shadless windows admit no light.
The wingless dove protects its nest.
The toothless tiger rules the restless jungle.

There goes the siren that warns of the air raid
Then comes the sound of the guns sending flak
Out for the scramble weve got to get airborne
Got to get up for the coming attack.

W h i t t i e r

Only 4 ways in ........
On 2 paths?


New York Mets win doubleheader

Happy Canada Day!

Yes, it is a day late, but I figured one of our Canadianer contributors would have taken care of this.

下 一 項

Would you like to learn how to cook Taiwanese and Chinese food? Here is one place in Taichung I found in my new cookbook from local Taiwanese celebrity chef, Ah-Ji Shi (阿基師). Their English translation is Cooking Supplementary Class. You might wonder about their choice of URL, though. Scroll over it and check it out.

下 一 項

Here is a good quiz.

1. Who was the first black congressperson in the U.S. congress?

2. What decade did this person enter congress?

3. What state did this person represent?

Try not to google the answers and see how close you can get. Answers will come later if no one gets it.

Triple plays, Snowstorms, Hickies, and Jailbirds

The Missoula Osprey (A ball, Arizona Diamondbacks) decided this year they would have a new promotion. $10,000 dollars would go to a lucky fan if certain rarities occurred during the correct inning (hitting the foul pole with a homer, back to back to back homers, 4 stolen bases in an inning, etc.)

On the first night of the promotion, during the first inning, they announced one lucky fan would win the money if a triple play was turned. The visiting Billings Mustangs promptly loaded the bases. The crowd began to rumble. The rumbling finished when a long fly ball to left was hit by the cleanup man. Our groans were turned to laughter when, in true Taiwanese baseball fashion, the left fielder dropped the ball. However, the Osprey are quick on their feet. The left fielder fired the dropped ball to third base to get the force out. The thirdbaseman, realizing the runner from first had taken a wide turn around second, fired it to the secondbaseman and caught the offender in a pickle. Eventually the thirdbaseman would apply the tag. In the meantime, the cleanup batter, sensing trouble on the base paths, tried to sneak into second behind the play. The alert shortstop went to cover the bag, the thirdbaseman gunned it over and the tag was applied. For those keeping score, the play would read: 7-5-4-5-6 (with a run scoring on the play and no error on the left fielder). For one lucky fan, he would be counting $10000. Three nights later, against the Helena Brewers, the Osprey would turn a more conventional triple play (5-4-3), but it would not net anybody a paycheck. Dating back to last October, that's three triple plays turned by the Osprey, a bizzare statistical anomaly.

The snow finally seems to have finished for the season, our last dusting coming on June 14th. I ultimately received four inches at my house that week. Thank god spring is here. Spring means many things here in Montana, not the least of which is that girls start dressing in less (or more depending on your point of view) appropriate attire.

Now this lack of clothing makes men's loins stir to be sure. Fortunately the women get frisky, too. I recently hooked up with a young lass who left a hicky on the back of my neck. I haven't had a hicky in aeons, but there it is, all bright and red. Of course that means I have to lay low for a couple of days, but it's kind of nice to know women are still willing to leave their mark on unsuspecting males.

In other news from this side of the ocean, the Houston Astros have recently released pitcher Shawn Chacon after he choked the general manager, Ed Wade. Shacon said he told Wade he didn't want to go to the office, but Wade just wouldn't listen. Meanwhile, the Astros still can't score runs, prevent other teams from scoring runs , or basically do anything right on the baseball field.

In a related story, I have begun a boycot of the state of texas. On a recent 36 hour visit to the lone star state, I was arrested. I got to spend 14 hours in lockup, listen to a night court judge laugh when I told him I why I was in jail, and hang out with various other vile offenders of the law (the old black man next to me had written a bad check in 1993 for $37). Unlike him, I was not in on a warrant (nor for building a sweat lodge), I was in for running a stop sign on my way to get ice for my sister-in-law's surprise party. When the officer informed me he was writing me a ticket for no insurance as well running the stop sign (although I had the insurance in my hand), I questioned why he was doing that. When he chose not to answer that, and instead repeated that he was writing me a ticket for no insurance and failure to stop at a stop sign, I again showed him my insurance. I was told to step out of the car. When i asked him if he was going to arrest me, he asked me if I wanted him to. I said no, I just want you to not write me a ticket for no insurance when I have it in my hands. He told me to step out of the car. I unlocked the door, he pulled it open, jerked me out and put me in the back of his car. When I was finally processed, I discovered I had been charged with failure to stop at a stop sign. The no insurance claim was no where to be found. Needless to say, a complaint has been filed against the arresting officer.

texas has said, and the Supreme Court has agreed, the police can arrest you for any offense of the law because an officer 'cannot be expected to know what is a jailable and what is a non jailable offense.' In Montana, however, an officer has to have a reasonable belief that the offense is jailable. I'm sticking with the Montana rule on this one. And a one year boycot of texas is now in effect. It would be permanent except for the family ties and Continental/American connections out of houston and dallas.

"God of Dinner...and Rock and Ro-o-oll!"

Maybe you're going about it the wrong way, Red A. Get yourself one of these to prepare your vittles for digestion and I bet the wife will let you eat whatever you want.

Last night at the Fairies, this Tu Di Gong (土地公; tǔ dì gōng) - a local earth god not as powerful as one of the Fairies, but one who carries a staff with gourds, a gold ingot, has wings for some reason, and has a noggin that is either encephalitic or can out think Deep Blue - successfully led his plate into total consumption.

Even in spite of a heavy blanket of sweet mayonnaise, diners still found their way to, and ate, the shrimp and pineapple. Even after one Canadian, Andre, tried to de-wing the god for a nosh, he remained standing and proud ( after he was stood back up by the drop-mouthed Taiwanese at the table). Even after another Canadian, Josh, tried to clean him of cigarette ashes on his...um...upper, inner thigh, he remained firm.

In all fairness to Andre, the god's wings were facing him and he just looked like a big, fat carrot. In Josh's defense, he was cleaning it up because we couldn't take it with us. We had to give it back and he had no way of knowing if the next patron preferred regular or menthol.

Lowest Common Denominator

Here is the current dietary situation at the Red A household:

One woman who is eating vegetarian for 49 days. This would be the Taoist/Buddhist vegetarianism which means no garlic or onions. They are stimulants don't you know? Up there with meth.

One woman who is a Muslim and does not eat pork.

Two children who are not allowed to eat beef due to Taoist/Buddhist religious reasons. I have tried to explain that American cows want you to eat them, because otherwise the rancher would have no reason to keep feeding and breeding them. It's a good genetic deal for the cows.

One man who can eat whatever he damn well pleases but who shouldn't eat some foods due to gout. Plus I don't like seafood. You do realize that shrimp are like cockroaches of the sea.

Its like we're a microcosm of India, 40% Hindu, 20% Muslim, 20% Jain, and 20% British colonial official with gout and a glass of lager.

End of the School Year: Graduation

I graduated from high school and college, but in Taiwan, by the time you become12 years old, you will have lapped me several times in graduation ceremonies. There are graduation ceremonies for everything: pre-school, kindergarten, cram school, elementary (Jethro, you are vindicated), junior high, senior high and college. I am sure there are others, but I am certain about these. These are full blown ceremonies with gowns, speeches and diplomas. The week before, these students, who have been humping it for years to pass the next entrance exam to ensure their admittance into a good school, take time to organize a banquet to celebrate...their teachers.


Yep. If you taught a class for any amount of time, you are invited to a Teacher Appreciation Banquet 謝 師 宴 (xie4 shi1 yan4 / ㄒㄧㄝˋ ㄕ ㄧㄢˋ). The week prior to the banquet teachers will begin receiving invitations and other things. Handmade cards, flowers and gifts (here, a graduation bear) clutter our desks and office.





The banquets themselves vary from casual, buffet style to reserved-room 12-course Chinese style. All were fine, with some of the food being excellent.

The most enjoyment came from being with the students themselves. I saw one of my 9th-grade students, Danny, eating eating oysters with a knife and fork. I thought it was important that he knew the proper way to down an oyster. So, before seeing the actual oyster I told them that real men just put a little lemon and hot sauce on it and slurp it down straight from the shell. Then it arrived. It was about the size of a Nerf football cut in half with a giant whale loogi laying on top of it. Surely I could do this. I most assuredly almost did not. My mouth was wedged full and immobile with a third of it, with another third clogging my throat and the final third was poised, dangling, ready to drop into my stomach should my salavic juices claim victory and pry loose the vacuum seal held by this most ornery of oysters. Finally, as if the oyster was just playing with me to show me who was really in charge, the death grip was released and it cannonballed into my stomach. Not so much enjoyment for me, but the kids couldn't stop laughing and filming with their cell phones as I contorted and staggered around.

The school year is over for me and I will not see many of these kids again. A good number will and do return to visit. Regardless of whether I see them again or not, I know that I will be able to do it all over again next year. I cannot see myself doing anything else.


Students, 謝謝你.

.

Oyster Danny

Rye's Final Brewery Tour

Time flies. Our departure date is set for the 7th, less than 3 weeks from now. As expected I'm busier than hell but I have cleared my schedule for one more tour of the Beer Factory on the afternoon of Saturday the 28th. Come celebrate the end of the semester and the onset of summer vacation (for some of us) with cold beer and bad jokes. All yall are welcome and I'd love to see as many of yous as possible.

If you'd like to see the kids before we go, come on by the house for a visit.

Also, my land speeder is still for sale (at a reduced price!). But it's okay 'cause I'm never coming back to this planet again anyway.

Question

I would like to be able to have both Chinese characters and BoPoMoFo in my Word files.

Anyone know how to do that, or something close to it?

Here oil, come here oil!

Inlets in Taiwan, Ice lets in Canada.

The search for oil, and threats of military presence.

Live from Chinese Taichung

I am the Warr-i-or!

Or so Ma Ying-Jeou has loudly sang before. To be specific, he hails from the Diaoyutai Warrior branch of warriordom.

Sounds cool. How do I become a warrior? First, pick a remote place that has been ignored by your government for 20 years. Next, spend 30 years yelling bad things about the evil owners of this place, the Japanese. Make clear your successes. The world must know that although Taiwan has not reclaimed the islands, the movement is meaningful in that constant action has prevented the Japanese from advancing their plans to build a helicopter landing area, weather station, and lighthouse in the islands (Ma).

Wow! That is some major whoop-ass! But what will The Warrior do about the ramming and sinking of a Taiwanese fishing boat by the Japanese in the Diaoutais? No room for pansies here. Immediately issue a 4-Point Statement! Be sure to use words like "never," "absolutely" and "vehemently" to let them know you mean business. If they are too dense to fathom the gravity of these words, have your sidekick [ Premier Liu Chao-shiuan (劉兆玄)] let them know that war is an option.

Related story #1: Taipei reaffirms sovereignty over Tiaoyutai Islands - The China Post (Yay!)


President Ma Ying-jeou, once a Tiaoyutai warrior, had a statement issued by his spokesman Wang Yu-chi reaffirming the eight islets... are part of the territory of the Republic of China.
No official statement on the Tiaoyutais has been made over the past ten years...

Why so long? Maybe the following related story might help.

China, along with Taiwan and Japan, claims sovereignty over the islets under whose waters lie vast natural gas and oil reserves waiting to be tapped.

Taiwan? Taiwan? Come on China Post. What happened to the Republic of China? Weren't you up in arms for eight years at the previous administration's use of the word Taiwan?

Related story #2: Taipei, Beijing reach historic pacts - The China Post

They have agreed to open direct charter flights and establish permanent offices in each others territory. If you have been following the links you will know that China is also a claimant to the islands. Now, with Taiwan's new BBFL ( pardon if my web-speak is not up to par, but I believe that the first B stands for butt) they have no reservations whatsoever about barking like a big dog.

Click on the link and look at the picture of the two representatives shaking hands. Without reading the caption, which one is the Chicom? Now read the caption and note the venue for the meeting. Interesting in several ways that I won't go into here.

Related story #3: Ma Ying-Jeou elected Mister (Mr.) of Taiwan

After the Taiwan election and before the latest Diaoyutai incident, The Warrior sent KMT chairman Wu Poh-hsiung (吳伯雄) to meet with Hu Jintao, general-secretary of the Chinese Communist Party, among others. The leader of the Chinese Nationalist Party (Taiwan's KMT), majority party and upholders of the Republic of China (中華民國) would not use the R.O.C.'s 民國 97年 designation for the year (it dates from the 1911 revolution). As a bonus Wu also felt the best way to uphold the sovereignty of the R.O.C. was to refer the President Ma as Mister Ma.

The Warrior has said he wants to live, die and be buried in Taiwan. I just didn't know he was referring to the Taiwan Province of China. Or maybe he is just practicing some of that tact and diplomacy Brett was always trying to teach me about.

End of the school year: contracts

A week of classes is left before final exams and summer vacation. Cue my supervisor's rush to the junior high office with the contracts for the foreign teachers. We usually give it a very cursory glance, focusing on the minimum hours and salary amount and sign.

This year I hesitated. We had found out that some of the things we neglected were no longer there, such as our guaranteed yearly raise and 6 paid days of medical leave (of which I have not taken one day in six years). Our fault for not looking closely and trusting them to at least come to us and explain their reasons. When asked about the omissions, they ( the higher-ups, the poobahs ) said that they thought we would read the contract (Ouch!) and they really didn't have to explain their reasoning behind their actions (Boo!Hiss!).

Well, I turned in my signed contract and am waiting to see if the overlords are more vigilant than I (item 6) in contract review. If not, I will start a sign-up list for rides next week.

Taipei to ban disposable chopsticks

Taipei is to ban free, disposable chopsticks from 24-hour shops and supermarkets, an official said Saturday. The Taipei City Government said that starting later this month, several 24-hour convenience shop and supermarket chains will stop giving away disposable chopsticks with packed food, lunch boxes and instant noodles. Participants in the campaign are 7-Eleven, Family Mark, Circle K and Hi-Life 24-hour shop chains as well as three supermarket chains - Wellcome, Matsusei and Pxmart. "These shops and supermarkets are taking the lead. We hope other shops, restaurants and roadside food stalls can follow suit and stop using disposable chopsticks," said Su Fen-hui, from the city government's environmental protection bureau, said.

I wonder just how bad disposable chopsticks are for the environment.

1. If they are made from renewable bamboo plantations, they are not exactly contributing to deforestation, but instead providing a reason to keep bamboo growing in the first place.

2. Sure, they are thrown into the garbage, but as being a natural product, they are biodegradable.

3. Finally, washing non-disposable chopsticks also will cause environmental damage by putting detergent into the water supply. See for example:

Dutch lifecycle analysis: The biggest problem with reusable coffee cups is the water and energy required to clean them. Washing a porcelain cup and saucer once, in an average dishwasher, has a greater impact on water resources than either a paper cup or a Styrofoam cup. In contrast, porcelain cups have less impact on air, energy consumption, and volume of trash. If a reusable coffee cup is used twice before being washed, then it becomes energy-efficient relative to Styrofoam cups after 114 uses, and less than 100 uses to be energy-efficient relative to paper. Even fewer reuses are required for the reusable mug to be more air pollution–efficient and landfill volume–efficient.

But I don't think anyone will use their portable chopsticks TWICE before washing them with a nice dollop of detergent. Instead, I predict that the stores will sell disposable chopsticks for NT$ 2 just like the bags now, but they will sell a whole lot more of them than they do the bags. Well, McDonald's is "lovin' it" since their fast food only requires hands and not chopsticks.

Its also interesting to recall that the Taiwan government once pushed restaurants and street vendors to use disposable dining utensils in the name of better public hygiene.

Hat Tip to The View from Taiwan

Subway Sandwiches

A new Subway franchise opened within walking distance of my house. (This would be the one on Hsitun Rd. and Henan Rd. across from the gas station.)

I went to try it out last night, and was a bit surprised when they made my Roast Beef 12" sandwich with a two inch gap in the meat and only two triangles of cheese for the whole sandwich. Maybe I have not been to a Subway in Taiwan for six months, but I remember the meat covering the whole sandwich area and 4 triangles of cheese.

Well, I made my complaints known and asked them to make sure this was the correct portions. I may have even used the phrase "Lao Ban Kai Hei Dian." It was such a pathetic sandwich I actually came home and added my own salami and cheese to it. Obviously, I'll just start making my own if this is the new regime at Subways (which sucked even before they went to the new North Korean "Juche" portions.)

We called the owner's wife (he is a foreigner but she is Taiwanese) and asked about the portions. She claimed those are the new portions coming down from HQ. I know food prices are soaring so this may be true. Please let me know if you have had similar experiences at Subway and be forewarned if you are eating at the Fengjya shop I mentioned.

SIDE NOTE: On the same trip I caught my 7-11 advertising Busch beer for NT$ 44 a can. I said, oh well, the price of barley, rice, and hops must be really high. Turns out it was a mistake. The price remains NT$ 34 per can and I alerted the staff to their error.

Just call me Ralph Nader for a day.

Warning:

Posted in all places that serve or sell alcohol in Alaska!

Rembrandt Von Bronzefinger

D e n a l i N a t i o n a l P a r k

Moose's tooth, Broken tooth and Mt McKinley

"The High One"




Missed it by that much.............

Roker Revisited

Just wanted everyone to know that on this June 9th, 2008, it is currently snowing at my house. Are you shitting me? I remember Montana Springs being whimsical, but two nice days of weather do not a Spring make.

The Tonka XI issue, vol 10

Th CAT issue II .....

Building a better boyhood 4 tomorrow




A nightengale sang in Berkely Square

"I speak French with a Belgian accent"

At a party in Changhua back in the day, I think at Kevin and Rain's (sp) house, some chick claimed she spoke French with a Belgian accent to our derision and amusement. That being Tom, myself, and maybe the J-hole?

Well, now I go to China a lot, and people there say I have a Taiwanese accent to my Chinese. The best way to know this is when a mainlander says you speak "Guo Yu" very well, i.e. they choose to use the Taiwanese term for putonghua, usually with a little hesitation before the word.

But, thanks to the good waishengren teachers at TLI, I can also burr, slur, and bullshit myself into some vague mongrelized mainland accent, too. (The dude at the noodle shop claimed it was a Szechuan accent, but he probably was just an ignorant peasant.)

Now, my question is whether or not it is correct to learn to not only recognize but also speak regional accents for languages? And if so, why is this not the same for native speakers and regional accents in English?

I do know one guy from New Zealand who pretty much used a North American accent now, but that's maybe work related teaching in Taiwan. And of course, the J-hole can speak standard California English before about the third beer, but those are examples of regional accents moving towards the standard. (Forgive the chauvinism, but you get the idea. Some Taiwanese saying about the attractiveness of the larger watermelon slice seems appropriate but somewhat beyond my memory.)

So, here's the final question: If Brit Paul moved in with the J-Hole in Lubbock, TX - should he learn a Texas accent? Or is this sort of thing only for non-native speakers, eh?