HP V: Easy Ghoul

happy halloween everybody

Saturday saw the return of AmCham incompetence and foreigner apathy, aided, I hope, mostly by AmCham's incompetence. It was billed as Halloweenies for the Kidz, or something like that. The idea was that "Hey! Let's get some food, booze, bands and that cozy park across from PJ's and make scads of money for, you know, the Kidz." It had to rock, being PJ's idea and all. From the kickoff at noon, with everyone checking their watches to make sure they all weren't 2 hours fast to the rockin' climax a few hours later with everyone checking their watches to see how much longer till 89K opened up, it was a hoot.

According to raffle tickets sold, about 110 people attended thoughout the 6 1/2 hours. Of course, there's no telling if people bought multiple tickets and of those that were sold, many were bought by people working the event. Hamburger patties went uncooked! YES, IT'S TRUE! Boxes of chicken legs were cooking themselves in the sunlight. South African sausage was being eaten by, well, of course, South Africans. BEER WENT UNDRANK! Read that again. No, yell it. BEER WENT UNDRANK. A mere $1,000 NT gave a person the right to pack your colon for a good two months on undigested flesh and all the beer you could drink. I estimate about 25 squads of draftees ( the elite Coronaistas and the more plebeian Harbinites ) went unused. They are currently quartered at Big Gay Lance's, waiting future deployment.

How did this happen? Well, PJ flew to the Philippines to consult a psychic surgeon about "the smell of rotting flesh" in his nose that has perturbed him since '86. Yes, really. Well, maybe not the psychic surgeon part, but he would find someone who would willingly perform a walletectomy. So PJ was not around to help round up the troops. But, he was. He condensed his 11 day sojourn into a single day and returned Saturday morning. For AmCham's part, all that needs to be said is that I've only seen two people from AmCham at any event, Jack McDowell, and Wayne Chen. And they are always there. Unfortunately, flyers were only distributed and put up two days before the event. Jack and Wayne cannot do it all by themselves. This is where the rest of AmCham stepped up, looked around and took a powder. Some are at odds with Jack and therefore thought it best to place personal differences above the benefit. AmCham Taichung is nonprofit. Basically they are a service organization of two. Two others, Jerry and Chris, who are not members ( Chris might be, but is not listed in the directory) , were asked to help. They did. So, that's it in a Ron Jeremy nutshell. One bright spot was the music. As usual they give their time - though I wish The Deported had not. One who should have been given all the time he wanted is Shane somebody from Tainan. He's from Saskatoon, plays mostly his own guitar and harmonica country. Hoping to get him to make the move here. See him if you get the chance.

Tigga

I have updated Brain Death's website to be correct. Definitely worth a read if you haven't been there yet. Click on the link to the right. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't touched by the post entitled Brett.

The bells and whistles chair

The bells and whistles chair
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

The chair that swings. Plays music with lights. Awesome extra pair of hands when Daddy is baby sitting. Provides the extra 5 minutes Daddy needs to get to the bathroom. Today was one of those fall asleep in peace only while Daddy is holding you days. After Three failed attempts at putting the kid in bed. I went with the stay awake plan and the magic chair. Hats off to the generous genius Aaron for passing it this way.

HP IV: Lutger the German

Lutger loves beer. So does John. So do a lot of people. The following discussion took place some years ago at the New York Pub in the heart of Changhua city. It began with what was a seemingly harmless hypothetical question from John...

J: So, Lutger, if you were going to get a tattoo, what would you get?
L: I would not get a tattoo.
J: Yeah, but if you were to get one...
L: But I would never do that.
J: Supposing you decided one day that you wanted a tattoo, what would it be?
L: That would never happen.
J: What if you were drinking with some friends and ended up in a tattoo parlor with all kinds of images on the walls, what would you get? An eagle, a motorbike...
L: I would get nothing.
J: Come on, for fun. I understand you don't want one, but what would you get if you got one?
L: I cannot say.
J: Why not?
L: It would never happen.
J: But if it happened, what would you get?
L: I get nothing. It would not happen.
J: (getting exasperated) OK, let's say that eight large men force you into a chair and say you are getting a tattoo whether you like it or not and you must choose one of the tattoos on the wall.
L: Why would they do that?
J: I don't know, just because.
L: There must be some reason. It makes no sense.
J: You're tied down to the chair and you can't leave until you get a tattoo. You gotta choose one.
L: I do not choose.
J: But you might as well choose something cool. Something you can live with.
L: I choose nothing.
J: But you must!
L: Why must I? I do not choose. You choose for me.
J: But they or I might choose something really stupid. You should at least choose something you may remotely want.
L: No. How can I choose a tattoo when I don't want one?
J: You're not making sense!
L: I do not choose. Bah! We drink! I am Lutger!
J: (flummoxed as all hell)

If I recall correctly, JW agreed to drink but never again asked a German engineer a hypothetical question. I could be wrong of course as my wire tap at PJ's has recently fizzled.
Some say this is what made JW pack up and move to Taichung.

HP III

left to right,

Chico to Changhua boys Tom & Will with

Tennessee Jeff

711 two

711 two
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

John needs to work at this school. They have two 711's on the campus. A high school that potentially lets you pay your bills and sells adult beverages. Students hopped up on coke and Big Gulps. Didn't anyone watch supersize me?
Two 711's. I wonder if students are allowed to put went to the school of 711 on the ole resume.

T-Shirt Hell

T-shirts naughty, humorous and not generally nice.
Howdy, P.I.M.P.!

VINDICATION!

Which perfectly explains her refusal of my offer several years ago of dinner and a par-tay. It wasn't the location - the Lubbock International Airport baggage return. It wasn't my condition - 14 hours full of free China Airlines adult beverages. IT WAS HER! I was pitching to the wrong team!

Comets' Sheryl Swoopes opens up about being gay. The pressure to perform at a high level on a basketball court is minimal for three-time WNBA Most Valuable Player Sheryl Swoopes compared to determining that the time was right to publicly announce today she is gay.

"I'm just ready, just to be free, not to have to hide who I am; not to have to hide my feelings for her anymore."

H.P. II

finsished no problem

finsished no problem
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Another year and another paper dragon. teachers were delighted to discover the drama students couldn't answer a few simple questions. Or rather the students said they were finished and everything works No problem. One question, when you were making a huge paper village and 4M by 4M backdrop ??? What did you think would make it stand up? Eleventh hour bullshit comes to the rescue.
Forget that presentation is important. Forget that time is short. Bubble gum wrappers and wide plastic tape on heavy *really heavy* stands will be so portable and easily win the day.

Halloweens Past Pic

Who would dress as a bottle of Taiwan Beer for Halloween?

lake horns

lake horns
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

After lunch they take the left overs for a walk.
Then they watch sun set.

Johnny Cash Question

If he shot a man in Reno (just to watch him die) then what is he doing in Folsom Prison?

My understanding is Reno is in NEVADA and Folsom Prison is a CALIFORNIA state prison.

Lyrics here.

I'm sure someone here can help explain this to me.

Warning: Politics Below

Two suggestions for Taiwan:

1. Announce a policy for an immediate declaration of indepedence upon any warlike act from China. (Since game theory is hot now, I'd liken this to a game of Chicken where Taiwan showily handcuffs herself to the steering wheel.)

2. Have a referendum upon the question, "Any unification plan must pass a referendum of Taiwan's voters with X% approval rate with Y% of total registered voters voting."

The beauty of this is Taiwan can claim to be setting up for a unification scenario (not independence), but at the same time constraining China if it passes that any unification plan has to be damn acceptable to the people of Taiwan and not some bargain made with James Soong in a smoke-filled Shanghai KTV.

The DPP should have done this last time and damn their "base" who would freak out. It totally wrong foots the KMT - could they oppose a law setting up a system to approve unification? (I guess if the bar was set too high on percentages.) Could the USA be upset? China could whine, but they do anyways.

For all you TI'ers out there, remember that East Timor's referendum was worded as such:

"Do you accept the proposed special autonomy for East Timor within the Unitary State of the Republic of Indonesia?" or "Do you reject the proposed special autonomy for East Timor, leading to East Timor's separation from Indonesia?"

Notice the YES was for unification (well, continuing being part of Indonesia) so it would be a pretty useful tool for Taiwan to have this law on the books as being mandatory. Even if Taiwan were to lose a war with China, the international community might just be able to pressure China at some later point to honor the law .

Christmas Gift Ideas

I know a certain someone on NiHowdy would really love one of these for a Christmas gift.

(h/t Garfield Ridge)

Also, Karl, while I did h/t Red State Rant, PekingDuck actually LINKED them.

Leon

Comics by Leon

Great live music on Saturday if you can make it.

Lost Truck

I don't know how the ROCKET GIRL boys are getting to their gigs these days but their tour bus has been stalled out on a bridge near zhong ming and xi tun for at least 4 weeks now, probably longer. The wrong way and on a red line to boot. We've been towed on yellows...
This would be really kick ass parking if you lived under the bridge. Maybe they're really trolls waiting to pounce on Halloween and ride it off into November. Very impressive bit of longevity parking. Not a ticket to be seen.
Prizes to anyone who can tell me what the acronym G.O.S.F. written on the door stands for.

I only post this to counter P.I.M.P.

Here's a quick game to play. Canadians may have an edge.

p.s. Great photos Kevlar.