Friday Personals Ad

Why does a chick this hot even remotely need a personal ad?

Shouldn't she be too busy eating at fine restaurants every night and fending of Lotharios at every turn?

Maybe it's the cat.

Very Embarrasing

I ran NiHowdy through a readability tester and here are the results:

Readability Results

The following table contains the readability results for http://www.nihowdy.blogspot.com.
Reading Level Results Summary Value
Total sentences 241
Total words 1784
Average words per Sentence 7.40
Words with 1 Syllable 1214
Words with 2 Syllables 382
Words with 3 Syllables 132
Words with 4 or more Syllables 56
Percentage of word with three or more syllables 10.54%
Average Syllables per Word 1.46
Gunning Fog Index 7.18
Flesch Reading Ease 76.12
Flesch-Kincaid Grade 4.48

Now for the analysis:

The bad news:

Our Gunning Fog Index score of 7.18 is better than TV Guide (6) but worse than Reader's Digest (8)

The good news:

Our Flesch-Kincaid Grade score means a 4th grade education is all you need to understand this site. This fits nicely with our demographics.

BTW: 5 of 7 NiHowdy contributers are English teachers.

Update: Here's the site where I ran the test and they explain what the tests mean. Sorry, Rye but there is some math so why not just sit back and crack a Kirin?

Japan is hosting the inaugural Asia Series Konami Cup. It is a baseball tournament for 4 Asian teams: Taiwan, Japan, Korea and Red China. All teams but the commies sent their respective league champions. The Reds were allowed to field an all-star team. That did not stop the Taiwan team, the Sinon Bulls, from Great Leaping past the Proles, 6-0. Today, the Bulls face the Japanese champion, CHIBA LOTTE MARINES. Meanwhile, when the China Stars face the Samsung Lions they will strive to Achieve the Four Bases in order to realize the maxim, It is good just to have one run.

TV times can be found at the first link. Taichung area viewers can watch VL Sports, cable channel 70 and/or 72 for games. A complete TV schedule can be found here.


Vote for Pedro. Pedro offers you his protection. Pedro also urges you to...

Note: Broken link fixed

Expat Estrangement Syndrome

If you've been in Taiwan for 10 plus years, sometimes you are so estranged from pop culture back home, you can't tell if something is real or not.

Apparently Oklahoma is Boring

That's why they let little girls fire fully automatic machine guns.

Though, the wifey fired machine guns and an RPG in Cambodia.

Wind chime mobile

Kaia and Dad
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

Newly discovered hands, are reaching out to entertain and feed the mouth.
No walking, or bouncing required.

End of the World is Nearing!

Repent! Repent!

No, it's not my hangover talking.

Someone made a re-make of JUMANGI.

The only good thing is Robin Williams was not allowed anywhere near it.

Health Insurance in Canada

Illegal for humans, legal for dogs. This short film also shows more 'highlights' of the Canadian system.

Now, a quick question: is this a problem in Taiwan, too?

I do know that in Taiwan it is legal to pay for your own healthcare, obtain additional private insurance, and there are private healthcare providers. Does that help Taiwan avoid some of Canada's problems?

Disclaimer: Yes, I realize that the US system has problems as well. And that in Taiwan there are loads of quacks who will gladly take your cash and leave you with a permanently welded one-finger salute in place, destroying a promising bowling career.

Why I like Rumsfeld

(or at least his way of communication) a part of a interview with the influential German magazine SPIEGEL.

SPIEGEL: How concerned are you about Iran?
Rumsfeld: All of us have to be concerned when a country that important, large and wealthy is disconnected from the normal interactions with the rest of the world. They obviously have certain ambitions, powers and military capabilities ...
SPIEGEL: ...and nuclear ambitions...
Rumsfeld: That's apparently what France, Germany, the UK and the International Atomic Energy Agency have concluded. Everyone wants to have the Iranians as part of the world community, but they aren't yet. Therefore there's less predictability and more danger.
SPIEGEL: The US is trying to make the case in the United Nations Security Council.
Rumsfeld: I would not say that. I thought France, Germany and the UK were working on that problem.
SPIEGEL: What kind of sanctions are we talking about?
Rumsfeld: I'm not talking about sanctions. I thought you, and the U.K. and France were.
SPIEGEL: You aren't?
Rumsfeld: I'm not talking about sanctions. You've got the lead. Well, lead!
SPIEGEL: You mean the Europeans.
Rumsfeld: Sure. My Goodness, Iran is your neighbour. We don't have to do everything!
SPIEGEL: We are in the middle of regime change in Germany...
Rumsfeld: ... that's hardly the phrase I would have selected.

--h/t TigerHawk

New toy

new toy
Originally uploaded by kevlar1.

I bought a new toy. P4 3.0 XP pro with a big video card to play 3D games. Yes that is the new Hanns-G 19 inch TFT screen that was released in TW Oct 31 for the grand price of 7950 NTD. The wife made a call and got an new ADSL box, for 100 Nts more a month she upgraded to 2MB connection. Could also get basic cable for 75nt per month( I don't have time to watch TV). Yipee!!

And Aaron's topic for the week:

Is the Taylor Grazing Act of 1934 still a workable piece of legislation? Should it be rewritten? If so, what new statutes and mandates should be included? Is it okay to subsidize ranchers in the name of continuance of culture and a way of life? Are the BLM and Congress tied too closely to ranchers at a cost to the taxpayers and the environment? Yes, these are the exciting questions of the week. I will have finished preparing my powerpoint on Land Exchanges by Monday, so hold off on your responses until I get that sorted. Any other contributors are welcome to e-mail me, with special bonus points awarded to Canadianer ideas (with links to Canadian legislation on public grazing).

Cape + Facial Mask =

Behavioral Effeminism

Friday , once again, returns with my well earned free time. Texas Tech , number 15 in the BCS, takes on the Aggies of A&M. I can't watch or listen to it so I'll probably be GameCasting it - watching little colored bars march up and down a picture of a football field with a printout of the results. I'm hoping to make it to halftime. I will offer no predictions, we got pasted last time I did that. However, in the long standing tradition of making fun of Aggies, I will offer a joke:

How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo? Two. One to do the eating, and one to watch for cars.

Bravo! Encore! Why, thank you!

How do you keep an Aggie out of your yard? Put up goalposts.

Please, no more! You slay our collective wit! If you insist, but I do have more.

Big Gay Lance is back from Canada sporting a latex, black and white Canada jacket. Complementing this uselessness is his organization of the-day-we'd-rather-avoid, Sports Day. The date has once again been changed, this time to Nov. 27th. Again we will have to endure the gay-ly attired rugby team, the whiny soccer team and the uber-anal Frisbee Gruppe. Let me make this very clear - WE WANT RINGERS! Come on you Corning guys (or girls)! I'm sure there are at least several of yall who know something about rugby, soccer,Frisbeee oh well, football. Frenchie will gladly freight in all your adult beverage needs.

What was I thinking?

I should have enlisted Aaron much earlier in my new scholastic career. You have done such a fine job, I will be presenting you with one topic per week for the next three weeks. Congratulations, you win friend of the month.

ni men xian zai bu yong qu kan dao na ge ROCKET GIRL ka che yin wei bu zai

Trend?

Ok here it is. I post about The Sudan and we get no responses. Aaron posts about Taiwanese politics, the same. Kevin posts beautiful pictures and zippo. Ryan posts about crazy bands and not a word of response. In the meantime, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy has already received four comments in the one hour since its original post time. I think every male reader (and thus every reader) is a homosexual in disguise (except me of course). John didn't send that hoopster to the other side with drunken stories from China; John sent her to the other side with leadership by example.

酷男的異想世界

It's been a long, long wait, but it's finally arrived in Taiwan.

I am posting the broadcast schedule as a public service announcement for Ponce a.k.a. Karl so he doesn't miss his favorite show. May I suggest you watch it Saturday morning to get your blood up for the A&A game? Or since your wife has grounded you from poker, perhaps Friday night would be best.

Travel & Living Channel, that's Channel 21 for most Taichung cable TV.

Wednesday: 星期三 23:00
Repeated重播:
Friday 星期五 21:00
Saturday 星期六 10:00, 18:00
Sunday 星期日 08:00, 11:00, 23:00

Oh, I am sure Ponce is so excited - look they even translated the stars' names into Chinese! I wonder if they will come to Taiwan and do a show here? Of course, a visit Ponce's house would be a boring episode, since they would not need to make any changes at all and they'd end up sitting around on his luxurious Ikea furniture drinking wine spritzers and chatting about how men who eat Bin Lang are sooooo grosssss! Why don't they use teeth whitening strips like the kind they showed that hick in Texas how to use last episode? They only take 30 minutes twice a day and you can wear them while you shave, shower, moisturize, etc. [Editor: Must admit wifey thought that was a very interesting product.]

Oh, and Ponce don't worry - all the guys are slender and won't break your precious faux cow hide benches. They might re-arrange your X-box games by color scheme though.

Translation:
酷男的異想世界 = Cool Men's World = Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

On-Line Personal Ad Review

My Yahoo account which I check every 2 months or so includes personal ads Yahoo has decided are right for me. Now, most of you will expect me to bag on some chick's personal ad, but overall, I think this girl's pretty honest:

My pet peeves are: game-playing, macho acting, cocky attitude, laziness, arrogant acting, cheap, flackiness and being boring.

A nice solid list that will keep most Frenchmen and certainly Karl away. I guess any German AAA gunners would be shot down as well....

I am looking for someone who is an honest and reliable family man, kind, sweet,funny, not high-strung,intelligent and ambitious. Good morals and values.

Seems reasonable. I am out of luck though since I am high strung (but low hung.)

My hobbies: I love to shop,wine taste, visit art galleries and do anything involving arts and science, I hate doing anything that involves sweating (except activities in the bedroom). I am not a physical active type person but, I am not lazy either.

Bonus points for interest in wine tasting, science, and willing to sweat in the bedroom.

I think couples should spend time doing seperate activities and have a life seperate from their mate. Your mate should enhance your life, not be it.

Seriously, how long will this last once she figures out my separate activities all involve beer, g-strings, and 20 dollar bills? Oh, she means activities she THINKS I'm doing!

I am looking for someone who can connects with me emotinally and feeds my brain as well as my heart.

(I think by now it's also implied that said prospective life-mate must be willing to accept spelling errors.)

I love the Sac Kings and watching basket ball.

Hey, what a coincidence, I am King of the Sac!

I like the finer things in life. I can be a bit high-maintanance, like nails and hair..but, I'm a woman what do you expect...but, I don't make it priority and it doesn't get in the way cause I am also very grounded and down to earth.

Triple bonus points for honesty, until she makes the bald-faced lie that it won't be a priority. The good news is she will probably take of herself and not become overweight with wild-ass hair and a scraggly neck beard. (Wait, that's me.)

Lastly, my stats: I am 28, never married, no kids, 5'10" blond, brown eyes. I would say average weight. I am curvy...not thin. I have a big butt...like J. Lo. but, I don't want to thick so, I say volumptious...which might be misunderstood. You will just have to meet me in person. My carrer is very important to me. I am an interior designer and I work alot...but, make my own schedule.

More honesty. Volumptious - sounds likes a made up word to describe a pastry.

I am looking for serious inquries only. I am looking for long term committment. Also, no pot-smokers please.

LAST LINE CINCHES IT FOR ME. SHE'S A KEEPER.

Beyond the spelling errors and the obviously wine induced rambling this is a damn good personal ad. She's mentioned her likes, her dislikes, her lifestyle, and came across as honest. 4 out 5 stars.

Bring Out Your Dead!

Football, Sunday, 3 pm, at the school field.
Super Lance Sports Day is coming December 3rd. Have to start training,
finishing last ain't easy.

Border Crossing, North American Style

I live near a Canadian border. I have probably crossed this particular border 30 times in my life, and never had to stay more than five minutes with the formalities. However, now I am a long-haired hippie type, which leads to this exchange with a Canadianer Immigration 'official.'

Can: Why are you coming to Canada?
Me: To go hiking in Waterton
Can: Why do you want to do that?
Me: Because it's beautiful (dumbass thought, not voiced)
Can: Have you ever been to Canada?
Me: Yes many times.
Can: When was the last time?
Me: Two years ago.
Ever been convicted of a felony?
Me: No.
Ever been to our immigration office?
Me: No.
I think you better check them out. Park your car, go upstairs, second door on the right.
Me: Yes sir.

I then proceeded to park my car and go upstairs. Upon my arrival, the immigration official tells me to sit on the bench (not the group W one, just an ordinary one). I tell him I have been sitting for three hours and don't really care to sit, I can stand in wait of my fate.

Official: Son, you do what I tell you to do.
Me: Sir, really my legs are tired of sitting, I need to stand (major asshole thought, not voiced)
Official: Have it your way.

One HOUR later:
Official: Next (nobody has been in here the whole time I have been waiting -only might have been a more appropriate word)
Official: You ever been convicted of a felony?
Me: No sir (no sweat lodges in my background)
Official: Ever been to court?
Me: Once for running a red light and not paying my fine on time.
When was that?
Me: About fifteen years ago I guess.
Ever been fingerprinted?
Me: No sir.
Ever been to jail?
Me: No sir.
Ever smoked marijuana?
Me: (agape) Excuse me?
You heard me boy, you do drugs?
Me: No sir.
You have any on you?
Me: No sir.
Let me see your wallet.

I proceeded to give him my wallet. As he searched through it, I asked what he was looking for and he said LSD. Talk about crazy, after he finally gave me the long 'I know you are up to something but I can't prove it so I guess I will have to go against my better judgement and let you into our fine country' look, he stamped my paper and told me to go to customs, where they proceeded to inspect my car (standard operating procedure these days). Two hours to cross into Canadia. not quite my records of four days into Niger and three days in the Sudan, but a little on the ridiculous side. I would report on my beautiful hiking in Waterton (because it was), but Kevlar has already made people jealous enough with photos from home. The Americans let me pass through without so much as a nod on my way back.