Monday, April 13, 2009

It starts like this. You get something explicitly for your own use - your little toy. Then another person, let's say a wife, takes a liking to it and starts using it for her own use with the promise of getting another for you to replace the one she has usurped. Time passes. More than a year - or just a moment in Female. You make do. Sometimes you can steal it away for a bit or use it when she's not home. Then a situation arises where she needs to have it with her almost all the time and you end up having to find time to go out and pay for what you could have been doing more conveniently, for free at home. In this case, the it is my (past tense), our (for just a moment -Male), her (forevermore) laptop.

She has been taking two computer courses, creating a video CV and using her newly acquired computing skills in her private classes at night. All of which means that I see my, I mean, her computer as frequently as Robin Williams sees a good script. Saturday and Sunday mornings are the only time I have where I can spend more than 5 minutes online. So, I have made do.

And then it happens that it happens you start to question which type of dementia you are currently sampling because you can't get your password correct to log in to any log in-able web site. I can only remember my wife's cell phone number by "dialing" it with my finger. I tell myself I have just been using muscle memory and habit to enter my password. Therefore, I very consciously try not to think, close my eyes, channel Ray Charles and let my fingers work the keyboard. That doesn't work. Only after sharing my frustration with my wife do I learn that she has changed all of our passwords. One of her computer classes has made her so...aware of computer security that, in addition to changing the passwords, she routinely unplugs our wireless modem whenever the computer is off ( which led to yet another cognitive function query about myself as I played with all the settings for a couple of hours, until I was ready to hemorrhage from my eyes - our laptop's operating system uses Chinese).

Saturday comes and I go to the Internet cafe loaded with notes for posts I'd been planning and armed with the new password that she wrote down for me herself. Please note the stress on "she" and "herself". Yes, it was wrong. That's some password if even we can't get in. I guess she really is learning something at those computer classes.

As you are reading this, it is obvious that I now know at least one of our new passwords. I hope to get all my planned posts up before there's another security check at my house.

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Will You Be Here Tomorrow?
This is supposedly a workplace safety instructional video from before. Fake or real, it doesn't matter. This is gold. It is also very graphic and bloody. Bloody good! Really, this is Roger Corman blood, guts and body parts graphic. You have been warned.


Anonymous said...

How can you tell who the boss of a Taiwanese factory is?

The man with the least number of fingers.

Anonymous said...

Yay, more J-Hole and much less Tonka.

USAhole said...

That is freakin' hilarious! Where did you find it?