A Southern Command New Year's Eve

Sessions at Southern Command all begin the same. I get a beer, open my paper to the crossword and the security dog, Bao Bao, jumps on top of my paper, rolls over and paws at me until I rub her belly. Well, that's okay because I like dogs and we get bathroom privileges - providing we close the door. Pop always reminds me to tell the others, especially "the one who just points and doesn't ask" (D-Wayne).

Five o'clock comes round and people start gathering. D-Wayne and Chris are first. It's cold. How cold I do not know. But one of the cold-sounding Celsius numbers. We three get a head start on debunking the alcohol-will-warm-your-body myth. Esquire Willy and AJ are next and the table is crowded and the neighbors start putting in their earplugs. Steve is last (or Brown as Esquire calls him. I thought we pretty much had a moratorium on using last names in Taiwan but the Esquire nose-whistles his own tune).

Many motions are agreed upon: the Cowboys sucked, we still hate the Eagles, it is still cold and it is best not to open a bottle of beer one-handed while using the same hand to talk on a cell phone. The Esquire tried that and opened it up into a hundred pieces on the ground.

The cold inspires Steve to go inside and buy a couple of the heating pads pictured above. These are small bags that once activated by rubbing, crumpling and/or slapping, produce a constant heat for several hours. The bag is filled with iron fillings, water, active carbon and salt. My wife says her elementary school students know the formula and can make it themselves.

The ad at top says they maintain an average temperature of 50-55 degrees Celsius, with a max temperature of 66 for 20 hours. Well, I don't know about the 20 hours, but they were still quite warm by bed time. Students can always be found with these in their hands. Steve and I experimented with other locations. They are great as bun warmers. One in each pocket. I enjoyed leaving it on the back of my neck, getting a nice shot of heat down my spine and up my neck. Steve used them as earmuffs by securing them with his toboggan, yes, I said toboggan. Let me explain. Growing up in Lubbock, big snows were rare. The usual winter snow was a 1-2 inch dusting that disappeared quickly. We just weren't snow mavens. Whereas the Eskimos have a baker's buttload of words for snow, we ( or just me ) had only one word to cover all things snow related - and mine was toboggan. I didn't have any Canadianer friends at that time so I didn't know about toque. Now that I do, I still don't say it. So Steve was delighted wearing his heating pads inside of his toboggan.

AJ tried to warm up by buying whiskey - he wasn't there for the earlier debunking session. When he went to buy the second bottle I decided it was time for me to go and pass the New Year in my preferred manner - not dead. When the clock struck midnight I was asleep and alive, dreaming of black-eyed peas.

They are my favorite vegetable and you can get them in Taiwan. I have only found dried but my wife asked the person selling them and she said they were grown somewhere in southern Taiwan. I eat both kinds, but fresh black-eyed peas with snaps are better, better , better. So if anyone in southern Taiwan reading this...oops, that was stupid. If anyone reading this ( a little better) knows anyone in southern Taiwan who might know about fresh black-eyed peas, let me know and I'll send you a signed picture of Lee Deng-Hui.

Things were a little more lively in Taipei, where Jack Donaghy blew up Taipei 101.