The lakes of Titan

Saturn's satellite Titan apparently has an ethane, oily lake on its surface. No truth to the rumor President Bush will soon invade Titan,* though the microscopic bacteria residing on Titan have begun enriching uranium just in case. Having seen what 'the coalition of the willing' did to nonnuclear power Iraq and has not done to nuclear power (allbeit oil poor) North Korea, the bacteria have broken off talks with the Interplanetary Nuclear Watchdog Organization in hopes of getting their bomb built A.S.A.P and thus staving off celestial warfare on their home turf through the threat of mutual destruction.

* rumor first noted in the comment section of the article.