A way to retake Palawan

I'm not sure about all this AA shit the old fogies at Chaon are talking about, nor am I sure who 'started' the war between Russia and Georgia. However, I can tell you the new blueprint has been laid for disrupting territorial integrity:

1. have a bunch of ethnic minorities living in one area

2. claim the federal government is suppressing their rights even when they live in an autonomous region (the Ossetians have been relatively autonomous since Georgian nationhood).

3. claim genocide (as Vlad the Impaler did and now Georgia is doing back).

Wow, the lessons of Kosovo -- the blueprint to invade your neighbor. I vote the Nihowdy gang go back to Palawan. We could bitch about how the lack of Lone Star beer and good hamburgers violates our rights as obese Americans/Canadianerers.* We could sacrifice Red A** to the cause by having him get drunk and given the clap by some gogo girls. We could then claim the Philipinos are commiting an ethnic genocide against those of North American decent (they just killed off a fifth of our population!). Call in the gunboats and Palawan is ours!!! The great thing about this plan: we don't even need to take Zha Zha hostage (as with the original plan). Hell, Red A will at least enjoy the process of getting the clap.

*Brit Paul and Ricardo Bald Titty are not welcome. We don't need Brits mixing up the pure North American bloodlines
** sorry RedA, you are welcome to find a substitute. you bid us adieu on our way to the airport but couldn't make the trip, so you are the first one cut.