Attention Professor Dr. Bread

Just finished watching Penn and Tellers' Showtime series, Bullshit! covering PETA hypocrisy, recycling half-truths and environmental hysteria. The show on environmental hysteria raised some questions for me and seeing as we have a gen-u-ine in-house environmental lawyer-to-be, Bread, I figured he could help me out. So, Bread, put down the seabreeze and put on your tinfoil attorney thinking cap and give me counsel.

1. First and foremost, do you know Daryl Hannah?
2. If I can't use wood when making a tree house, what should I use? Would hemp hold up?
3. If I did use wood to make my tree house, could you get Daryl Hannah to come over and sit in it?
4. Considering Woody Harrelson's lunatic beliefs, don't you think he has an ironic name?
5. Since Florida's gonna be gone in 50 years could you help me acquire some future beachfront property in southern Georgia?
6. I hate my workplace environment. I feel threatened. More than one 7th grader has made fun of my hair ( something I know you can relate to ) and accused me of wearing a rug. Can I sue them? Remember that this is a private school and their parents are loaded. Can we sue them.

Thanks in advance for your reply and I look forward to buying a second-hand AMC Pacer with our windfall.