I am pleased to report that while PJ has been on furlough and we have lost the temporary use of headquarters, members of the 40th Expeditionary Methuselah Group have secured Drunken 8 Fairies as our temporary command. Briefings are every Wednesday at 5:00. Those wishing to become part of the group must present bona fides of their age or achieve promotion through the ranks, i.e. keeping mugs topped off, buying every third beer, errands to 7-11 and other gestures of respect.
We are putting out a call for volunteers to supplement our very capable but easily-winded sports team. Those with knowledge of, actual proficiency in or just being able to walk unassisted for 5 minutes are encouraged to contact us in person or through this site.
Actually, he wasn't in the dream at all, but we were all in some strange frat house and I found a book written by Bread. It was some fantasy book with ads for tools in the back.
Hmmmmm, maybe Bread has written a book?
Bonus: Here's what Bread wants for Christymas.
p.s. I apologize for all of us at NiHowdy for the last few weeks of Bread nostalgia.
The best suggestion we've heard for cutting this Gordian knot comes from the much-maligned Ahmed Chalabi, who is now Iraq's deputy prime minister with special responsibilities for oil and infrastructure and has emerged as a major constitutional broker. He has bucked some of his Shiite and Kurdish allies by insisting that ultimate control of Iraq's natural wealth must remain in the hands of the central government, while also suggesting constitutional language that the wealth be owned by all Iraqis in "equal measure." In other words, the oil would be managed by the central government in the interests of all Iraqis wherever they live, but not owned by it.I have to agree with him.
Mr. Chalabi hopes that the "equal measure" concept will pave the way in practice for the creation of an oil trust, under which Iraqis would from birth have accounts established in their name. Iraqis would receive their full and equal share of oil revenue and the government would have to vote to tax it away. Mr. Chalabi sees this as a way of breaking the "oil curse" that has turned so many oil-rich nations into corrupt tyrannies.
In startling news, the Taiwanese government has ceased issuing white cards (白卡) to arriving Caucasian English teachers. More notably, the government has declared there will be no grandfather clause enacted and all existing cards are as of now invalid. It will be replaced with the platinum card (白金卡) available only to individuals with a corporation, limited company or narcopathic pharmaceutical resellers. Evidence of this was witnessed last Friday when one "Frenchie" was barred from re-entering the island for a period of 4 years, 2 months and five days after overstaying his visa for 4 years, 2 months and 5 days. Frenchie calmly entered negotiations with the police officials and played his white card - a clean-shaven face for the first time in 4 years, 2 months and 5 days, a stoop from the burden of Canadian flag patches covering his clothes, only moderately reeking of alcohol and a pair of socks to accompany his Birkenstocks. Officials were unmoved and only offered him the choice of immediate departure or 5 years of intensive Taiwanese lessons.
In a related noted, a recent ex-illegal alien has requested help from readers in choosing a new - rhymes with halias. Post suggestions in any comment box. When choosing, please bear in mind that this was his idea.
Please delete D.U.G. and give his posting privileges to Jimbo!
The guy simultaneously slammed Bread, Frenchie, Bo, and some chick named Montana., all in reference to PJ and alcohol.
Oh, yeah, ABBA is winning the I-Pod war versus Billy Joel.
Some, like myself, actually read all of Karl's chess report. I will be watching curling on ESPN 8 next week.
I just went to an OUTDOOR dining facility in Phoenix where you paid money for meat. Raw meat. Then you had to BBQ it yourself. This place is so wretched in August they don't even want to cook for you. My friend here is an F-16 fighter pilot who owns an enormous home with all the fixings. He apparently thought this was a good location to go with his pregnant wife. I think he just wanted to show off his horseshoe skills, consequences be damned. Flagstaff tomorrow, thank heavens.
I am going to add an extra line here to try and boot Kevlar's picture down. Hopefully it works.
src="http://photos21.flickr.com/33554934_9dc1926070_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="bread and butter" />
I went to the weekly Wednesday meeting at the Drunken 8 Fairies, though RyeGuy, Red A and Kevlar had adjourned early dropping the count to only 5. During the process of passing many resolutions (2 or 3 cases) Karl and whoever he was talking to started spewing some tripe about their hoops ability. So enamored of themselves, Hannibal Jim and I were unable to get a word in. So here it is now. Jim and I will take on you and your mystery gloater. We're calling you out. A game to ten, by ones. Tell us how many you want us to spot you and what stakes are acceptable. We've already stomped Big Gay Lance and Frenchie for two weeks in a row. We await your acceptance.
Well, the road has brought me to beautiful, scenic Albuqurque, NM. The Land of Enchantment is dirty, dusty and hot if anybody is wondering. Swung through Lubbock where I met J-Hole's mother and wife for afternoon tea. Ensconed on J-hole's mother's TV is a photo of young J-Hole, complete with mohawk and two earrings (one was long and dangly, the other a diamond stud). This photo was obviously taken when he was a true blue democrat who built sweat lodges instead of bar-b-ques.
Had an opportuntity to pass through Muleshoe, TX yesterday, rekindling memories of poker nights at the pit. But now is a time for reality, so let's analyze the reality of Muleshoe today.
Muleshoe has an airport, a Sonic, and a McDonalds. This shattered my impression of a hillbilly town out on the high plains, but I was hopped up on seven Mountain Dews, so I searched for more. Muleshoe has a Metal Art shop, leading me to believe at least one long hair resides there. There is also a John Deere Dealership (though no car dealership), giving me hope that white trash might be near. The sprinkler repair store is next door to a China Buffet (whatever that means) and an AM radio station. They even have a stoplight! So the next time you want to bash Muleshoe, remember, the Muleshoe Heritage Foundation exists specifically to quash its image as a backwater.
My next stop is Phoenix, where the temperature the past month has been 110+ nearly every day. Wish me, and my car luck...
With many disturbing photos. This happened 4 days ago.
Am I a recluse or was this not major news anywhere? Anyone see any inernational or Taiwan coverage of this?
I would like to clarify a point in RyeGuy's Bread News post. Bread left behind his cell phone and now its going up for auction. Nevermind that it's old and looks like some sort of ball, it's what's inside that counts. The Houston Hound Dog has numbers for most of the over-18 year olds in Central Taiwan. Guys - and Karl's wife - you should be crashing the site with your offers. Don't worry that you're not Bread. If a fluorescent jumpsuit-wearing Teasipper with Chris Jericho-inspired hair can score, anybody can. The current, and only, bid is Kevlar's with $450. Proceeds will go either to buying Frenchie a fake passport or Karl an invisibility cloak.
P.S. - Have we bumped Kevlar's crane mural off the page yet? If not, post something, anything, please.
Everyone's invited out this Saturday to FMs to say goodbye to Frenchie as he leaves for Thailand. He only overstayed his visa by 4 years but is trying to make up for that by traveling on a passport that only has 3 days validity left on it. His first stop will be Koh Tao to see PJ and the gang. See him Saturday or see him in a Thai prison.
John, Jim and I witnessed the last cents spent by the Bread Machine in Taichung.
We all downed Kirins (John -2) on the bus platform as we waited to send him off.
You guys can all stop wearing black now.
Bread has been gone for 10 days now. I feel an odd void in my life, like a mosquito bite that doesn't itch anymore. Because he was staying at my house near the End-Days I came to really understand the ways and means of the Bread Machine. This rare glimpse leaves one with a lasting Bread Shadow that lingers long after the departure of the Loaf. Only Kevlar knows what I'm talking about. We were discussing it last night over Kirins and agreed that mostly we're just glad he's gone. That being said the news on the wire is that BM is loading up his car in Houston for his journey to Montana. That's great because he'll probably be on the road for the opening bids on his cell phone memory, which has surprisingly garnered more interest than the 17 pair of socks collection left at my place during the Packing Ritual. John and Frenchy have dibs on Blue....to be fairly distributed to the first 17 drinkers at the seafood place tonight after work. see yall there...
A. Call him at home.
B. Call him on his cell phone.
C. Stop by PJ's any evening.
D. Send smoke signals.
E. Leave comments on his blog.
Bonus:
F. Get Anheuser-Busch to print your message on the inside of Bud caps.
and of course if you are really desperate.
I know some of you like spicy food.
First, a nice link to a guy who is attempting to eat a different bottle of hot sauce a day.
By the way, if you are impressed - and I am - drop over and leave an encouraging comment or two.
Second, a link to a hot sauce blog - not as ambitious but covers a lot of ground.
Thricely, a blog about BURRITOS - the food of the gods. Maybe we can come up with a blog about Bahwan or O-wa-zen to compete. Buhawahhahahahahah!
Bonus tidbit: Tesco is selling Keystone beer - premium Keystone no less, for NT 98/ six pack. They are 295ml cans though - very sneaky.
everyday light traffic.
I brought back some jalepeno seeds from a farmer's market in Lubbock. About 2 fingers of a baggie. What is that? A lid? Half a lid? Canadianers, help me out with the lingo. I'm willing to give some to anyone who thinks their thumb is green enough to get results. The only catch is that I get a cut of the product if the ones I plant don't turn out - highly likely. Think about fresh jalepenos. No more pickled, vinegary, mushy canned ones. Jalepeno poppers. Fried, baked, raw, their all good. Note: Blogger spell check for Canadianers is Condemners.
Someone mentioned over a beer that you can get Big XII football games online. Where? On a similar note, would anyone be interested in playing EA Sports NCAA '06 College Football with me if I should get it? Texas Tech wound up ninth in the final poll and their QB won the Heisman in EA's simulated season. UT was nowhere to be seen. Ha, ha, Bread.
Poker tonight? Ever again?
While doing nothing in Lubbock, I did watch some TV. Be warned that most of it is as gut-churning as Jerry making everybody hold hands at PJs during a football game and sway. Therefore, should you go back home I have prepared a guide for acceptable viewing.
*The History Channel - No surprise here, but they have added newly released footage and colorized it. My favorites were Secret Aircraft of WWII (I only saw the Japs and Germans) and The Color of War.
*The Sci-Fi Channel - Made the cut on the basis of one show only, Battlestar Galactica. This is the new one. Edward James Olmos as Adama, a drunk for Col. Tigh, a hot Cylon that talks about God, and an equally hot human/Cylon whose spine glows red when having sex. It's dark, gloomy and confusing. I still haven't found out how or why the Cylons make replicas that act the same as their human counterparts. Cinemax Asia is showing it on Sunday nights (TV schedule here) . It's on about episode 5. Don't worry about jumping in late. I saw the whole danged thing and still haven't figured it out.
*CMT - That's Country Music Television for you, Karl. While some of the videos and music are indistinguishable from Channel V crap-pop, they premiere a lot of new artists: Shooter Jennings, Waylon's son; Mando Saenz and the Del McCoury Band - not new, but new to me. Good 'ol twangy bluegrass. Their American Revolutions: Southern Rock showcases the Allmans, Skynyrd, Charlie Daniels and the Marshall Tucker Band with above-grade reporting and good video. Cowboy U is worth an episode just to see male-models and hairdressers play cowboy and get the crap kicked out of them by a steer.
Honorable Mention: VH1 - Yes, VH1. Hey, it's right between the History and Sci-Fi channels, I had to stop and take a look. And boy did I get a look. I watched the entire season of The Surreal Life 4 one night. In this show minor and washed-up celebs live together for a couple of weeks, get drunk, have sex and break down. Now, if you're questioning my taste, just think about this. About 10 minutes into Episode 1, Verne Troyer (Mini-Me), gets supremely loaded, hops on his little motorized, grocery-store vehicle and bounces around the house until he finds a corner in the exercise room and starts to pee. Oh, yeah. He's buck naked the whole time. View it here (Mini-Me's Gotta Pee) and then call me wrong in my selection. Equally delightful was watching 5 of the 6 refuse to brand a calf so they could eat steak and lobster. They got stuck with a can of pork and beans. Jane Weidlin of the Go-Go's get so distraught that she threw a fit and cried. The cowboys had a good laugh at that. VH1 has a gazillion reality shows. Watching all those celebs preen, complain, mangle language and sweat and convulse while trying to cogitate makes it very easy to pass on the rest of the channels.
Denmark's foreign ministry has announced that Danish reconnaissance troops caught Canadian troops red-handed on Hans Island. The ministry released the photo to the right showing a member of the Canadian special forces' arctic warfare unit (commonly known as the Baby SEALS) in full battle dress. The photo was reportedly taken on Hans on the night of July 31 by Danish dog sled troops based out of Greenland.
Other evidence shown by the foreign ministry included several empty Perrier bottles, a canister of Binaca, and a Canadian issued ribbed condom.
The Canadian foreign minister had no comment. At least in English. Maybe the spokesperson said something in French, but budget cuts at NiHowdy have eliminated our translation service in several minor languages including French, Cajun, and Maritime Patois.
Sooey Razorbacks!
Hey! Time for some more kiddie photos. Now, not having any of my own, I have to borrow. This here is my 9 year old cousin, Garrett Rose. On my only trip outside of the Hub City on my vacation, I went with my wife and mom to my cousins. They live near Medina, Texas, which is about an hour northwest of San Antonio. They have almost 500 acres in the hill country and have one of their houses resting atop one of those hills. My cousin, Lance - Garrett's father, set up deer feeders spaced around their land. Now an ex-hunter, he said he did so just because he likes the animals. No more shooting of Bambi. However, the free grub also attracts others, most notably, feral hogs. These are not javelinas (I think) but just plain old hogs that got loose and bred with...something else. Or so said my Uncle Don. Maybe my cousins can clarify if they read this. These hogs wreck the feeders and very capably destroy roads. Therefore, they are varmits in need of being put down. And there are few in that area more precise with a firearm than Garrett. One night, I noticed a hog come up behind the house and start to mess with a feeder. Garrett promptly got one of his guns - a .223 rifle, single shot, Thompson Center - climbed a tree and took aim. Against admonitions from Uncle Don to not try a head shot, he did just that. Look here for a pic of the shot from 120 yards, at night,in a tree.
In more or less chronological order here are selected, concise highlights of my 5 weeks back home.
That's pretty much all of them that won't have pictures to accompany them (once I go and pay the bills). My vacation was as low-key as I could make it. Good to be back and see my friends, not so great to be back and not be able to go to the store at 3am, get a steak a grill it. Same for Mexican. I'll be a little down for a while, so come by and offer my a frosty, adult beverage. I'll accept.
P.S. - More than 7,100 underage Mexican immigrants have been deported this year. Them Mexican generals better hope ol' Kinky don't pull off the election.
This week Malv won. He landed about 10 tanks on Hans Island and our Canadian infantryman didn't put up much of a fight. With that final humiliation, our country dissolved into bickering independent provinces.
If we weren't playing with the new United Nations rules, I think we could have swung Britain and the USA to our side. Instead we rolled two 4's and they friggin' abstained!
Meanwhile Malv as Denmark managed to get the E.U. to become a functional superpower by researching Anti-Americanism up to level 8 and as icing on the cake rolled a 1 to absorb the Soviets on turn 2.
All we could manage on offense was to get the Diao Yu Tai islands back in Chinese hands, though we had to cede some Turbot fisheries rights to Japan to do so.
Next week we're playing as the Islamics since they actually pull some clout.
Here's some links to more news on Canada's sinister occupation of Hans Island.
CBC propaganda
Canada does not have the ships, submarines or helicopters needed to prevent foreign vessels from travelling through its Arctic waters. The United States, for example, still considers them to be international waters.See how they are taking a completely pro-Canada line? Their complete unquestioning support of the Canadian government makes me sick.
Graham was not clear on exactly how Canada will assert its sovereignty without the equipment to keep foreign vessels out of Canadian waters.
A Foreign Affairs official said Ottawa would examine any formal request but was in no hurry to reopen talks.Sounds like they are waiting for Cuba, China, and California to join up for some 6-way talks over this issue...just like it sounds, the C countries ganging up on the poor little D country.
Foot draggin', knee knockin', P****, if you ever do that I'm gonna divorce you!For anyone truly schooled in the nuances of international relations and Realpolitik, it's obvious that this is NOT about a fabled Northwest Passage or oil rights. The Danes are mainly upset that Graham snuck onto the island and drank the bottle of brandy that the Danish left in 1984 without replacing it. Dude, that is so Chico State of them.
Personally, I'll be working hard on the campaign for a worldwide boycott of Canadian products until they end this gobsmackingly vile occupation of Danish land.
Kevlar sent an SMS message - the doctor says the baby should come out today.
UPDATE: Baby was born...not much more for now. Any pics, Kevlar?
It was really great knowing you.
I am saddened that your nation is going to war with Denmark and that you are all being drafted for the invasion of Hans Island.
Make sure to bring warm clothes, a change of underwear, and your government issued wooden spear capable of penetrating a slightly hirsute Danish soldier's blubbery amor.
p.s. In the spirit of our alliance and solidarity, we promise to abstain in anyUNSC resolution votes.
