Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Antigonish Bashing
"Living in Mexico"
"Teach English in Taiwan" (Korea, Japan, Mexico, U.A.E. etc.)
"USAFlowers.com" (to send back home to the missus while you're in hiding in Bangor.)
Sounds like the smart criminals in Canada save the legal fees and flee the country for warmer climes. So, "Kevlar" and "P.I.M.P." if these are your real names, what are you running from?
From my limited google searches, it seems most likely they are on the lam from several commercial fraud cases.
Did you really think you could sell "Organic Christmas Trees" and "Free Range Cod" to the public and not get caught? I am just sickened.
Update: "Rye" and "D-Wayne" apparently only thought they were wanted men and fled pre-emptively after setting of firework on the St. Lawrence.
Chinese Communist Super-Hero
Though, just how much can you learn from a guy who "died in 1962 at the age of 22, when a telephone pole, struck by an army truck, killed him, when he was directing the truck in backing up."
LaoGai - a former dissedent who has been re-educated so well that his mind can telepathically inspire socialist thinking in others.
A chess game with several players
Monday, May 29, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
business card Scan
I just never grow tired of hearing nonsense.
CHICKEN RICE

This is Chicken Rice at Spring Scream Monkey back in '04. I remember my brother was here visiting. We took the bus down from Chao Ma and on the bus was this guy from CR. I think his name is Allen Billy. In '05 he had a monster beard. Didn't see them around this year. Taiwanese rockabilly at its best!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Timmy! Get Your Guns, uh, Hands Up!

Friday, May 26, 2006
Crushing Dissent
Is it really true there are only apartments and trailers in Antigonish?
Happy Independence Day Georgia

Things that scare me:
- Kate Blanchett, Richard Gere and others playing Bob Dylan during different phases of his life in a new movie.
- If you add some stubble and Charles Nelson Reilly glasses to this guy you get that savior guy from U2.
- I might witness a suicide (Lawrence) or be part of a homicide (PJ) if PJ sticks to his All Irish Music All The Time policy at Meat and Mash.
- Tom Cruise singing Free Falling in Jerry Maguire.
- Asshole ex-State Department officials weighing-in with their better-be-nice-to-China warnings.
- Projectile catheterization.
Time to close The Biggest Ass poll. While it was very close, I still managed to eke out a victory with 45 votes (counting the comment section). Kevlar, you can give your clicking finger a rest now.
Today's Chinese: 試管嬰兒 (shi4 guan3 ying1 er2) ; test tube baby
Thursday, May 25, 2006
ADVICE NEEDED - URGENT!!!!
So, RYE, how again do I handle the stool sample?
If I recall correctly, you had the best technique...or was it J-Hole?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Antigonish goes bilingual
It seems a good practice to have multilingual street signs, especially since the Senate of the United States has recently passed a rider on the immigration bill demanding immigrants learn English (and thus abolishing a longstanding tradition in the USA of not having an official language). Perhaps when Sandy relocates to Woodstock, NB they will implement street signs which spell the town centre correctly.
QUANTUM BOGGS II TEASER, BIATCH!!!!
I've been searching for Episode II since....
Here's a TEASER!!!!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Damn you Fisher-Price
Batting practice and the 7610
OVERHEARD IN TAICHUNG
A: What did you think of The DaVinci Code?
B: Ah, not too good.
A: I agree, I'm not sure if I know anybody that liked it.
C: I heard DeShea liked it......but she's not hard to please is she?
True story.
OVERHEARD IN TAICHUNG
Okay, I didn't actually overhear that, but after Karl posted that little Russian name generator, am I totally out of line in imagining that as a possibility?
How to Stuff a Wild Bikini or Buddhists Monks Get Cocky

A day or two later, Master WeiJue of the monastery ( substantiated only by a newspaper clipping Mr. Bean showed me briefly), basically said, "Bring it on! Buddhist values of non-attachment of repudiation of desire are more than strong enough to combat a non-stop, full-body assault of the glorification of glistening, sensual, saffron-scented, fully-developed vixens that couldn't even make one robe out of all their bikinis put together. You! Boy! Green tea immediately. And make it cold."
While waiting for verification of the actual dates and venues, I would like to encourage Taichung area residents to go here and wax poetic - or better yet, persuasive. Again, as always, all errors in content or translation are solely the responsibility of The China Post.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Stroller Cam
What "Merry" men do when women are not watching.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Me Again
Anyone looking for tips on what to say to Taiwanese cops when asked how long you have been in Taiwan, look no further. Actually, sounds like Frenchie, non?
Also from the same site. Why don't I doubt this is a Chico State student?
Question: Is this Saturday the food festival? Where is it at? Let me know in comments so I can attend and be loud and ostentatious.
Week-End Project for our Video Freaks
You can make and sub-title your own Bollywood movie.
Have at it, folks.
North Korea Pics
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
A New Pilot Feature
FLICKR FREAKS
EXHIBIT ONE.
The word Narcissism springs to mind...and yet, if she just stopped plucking and elongating her eyebrows she might just be pretty hot.
Oh, yeah - hot or not? Answer in comments please.
Bonus: does she come complete with tramp stamp? Any guesses?
Geography Quiz
Here's some commentary on the issue.
Also, is anybody wondering why we don't get any photos from Espana? We have been paying our correspondent's salary there (via a few years of poker losses) and he can't even figure out how to upload some pics for us? Let me speak for Captain Beer and request shots of hot chicks eating flan.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Man, I wish I was Dou Wei
Manthem
but I can guarantee that within a day or two of my arrival back in the Hub City I will be slammin one or two. Anyone who has recently been to or is fixing to go to CKS airport let know if it's on their menu so I can begin stretching my stomach accordingly. Click on the post title, watch and sing along.
ROCKETGIRL TRIBUTE

Balls to the wall sound masters ROCKETGIRL are not currently playing anymore. Perhaps one day they'll rise again like a dragon from a cave to spread their special brand of mayhem.
All video taken from the Spring Scream Monkey Show, 2004...
Monday, May 15, 2006
Palindromes!
A palindrome is a word or phrase that reads the same both backward & forward.
Find the palindromes.
It’s the new semester and Bob is helping his friend Amy Ma move into
her new apartment. Bob is very tired because he was playing poker until early that morning.
Amy Ma: Wow! Thanks for helping me Bob! I know you’re really tired.
Bob: No problem Amy, it gave me a chance to try out my new racecar. It was designed by NASA engineers!
Amy: You bought a new car! What a coincidence! Dee’s brother just got a new car too! She says it’s as fast as the wind!
Bob: Mine too. That’s why I’ve got police radar installed. Is Dee coming to help us?
Amy: No, she can’t. Dee saw a seed in her garden that she had never seen before. Maybe she’ll come by later when we’ve finished.
Bob:
Amy: Peel’s asleep. He was playing poker last night too.
Bob: Oh, that’s right. What about Delia? What happened to her?
Amy: Bad news. Delia failed out of school. She bought a kayak and moved to the coast.
Bob: That’s too bad.
Amy: Oh! And good news! My Dad won the lottery! He retired from refereeing!
Bob: He did, eh? He should have hired some moving men for you.
Amy: Oh, Bob! He’s paying for this apartment! See, referees take care of their daughters.
Bob: Well, let’s get started. What floor are you on?
Amy: The fifth. (Bob groans)
(Bob looks down and sees twenty boxes of books on the sidewalk)
Bob: And I suppose there’s no elevator….You have as many books as a library!
Amy: Well, I am a student.
Bob: Hey! I know that book!
(Amy looks down and sees the title of the book Bob is pointing at.)
Amy: “A Man, A Plan, A Canal: Panama.”
Bob: I read it last year. It’s not bad. Heh, heh! Maybe Delia should paddle her kayak through the canal!
(Bob crouches down to pick up the first box. It’s really heavy.)
Amy: Pull up, Bob, pull up!
Bob: Help me!
Amy: OK, let’s do it together. Pull up if I pull up!
(They both lift together. The box won’t move.)
Bob: It’s hopeless! Hey, what’s this sign say?
Amy: “Step on no pets”.
Bob: They allow pets in this building? That explains the smell.
(Just then a handsome Spaniard approaches snacking on a bag of nuts. He looks at Amy Ma and says…)
Stranger: Madam, I’m Adam. Can I give you a hand? Boy, you have a lot of tuna! I’ll trade you a nut for a jar of tuna!
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Location Change
Saturday, May 13, 2006
From Discovery Channel to Taiwan


I was on my way over to Fubar to help Ryan plan his Mother's Day activities. I saw these people on the sidewalk with their new toy. I wonder if they will become a fad, cluttering up my precious People's Park sidewalk. Two passers-by were overheard " They are so expensive". " Who does it belong to?" Oddly enough I was the only person curious enough to stop and stare, I had never seen one before.
I suppose in the not to distant future some yahoo will be in my scooter lane, feeling cool and looking smart.
So who has the right of way, the bicycle or the guy standing tall on a two wheeled gyroscope thing. I wonder if it has a horn, to persuade pedestrains to get out of the way.
The Seven Deadly Sins and your nationality
Lets say you were American and told people you were Dutch then you would be guilty of which sin...?
Lets say you were South African and told people you were English you would be guilty of which sin..?
Lets say you were Canadian and told people you were Canadian...............?
Besides just throwing rocks and bashing North Americans.....!
Ok. The point of the post. ( Or perhaps this is a pointless post to scratch my curiousity)
First think of some stories you have heard from some of fine ambassadors gracing The TW, and then break a window.
Which nationalities are sterotypically guilty of which sins?
p.s. Hey Mr. anonymous I bet you got something to say.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Jihad TV
I especially enjoyed the intro number with the missiles stiking the USA and blowing it up. (They liked it too, they show it twice.)
But I have to wonder...what if this mission actually hit Canadian troops in Afghanistan?
Shouldn't they change the intro to show the Maple Leaf flag instead?
Yes, I realize it would be a bit of a pain in the ass for the Al-Qaeda media team, but shouldn't we demand proper fact-checking from all sides?
All sarcasm aside - I hope he only killed himself and is in hell right now.
Friday's Research
GRAPH HERE.
The math is indisputable: Texas is closely linked to gays.
More evidence:
The google search term "Gay" is most popular in the latin american countries that border, wish to border, or are border-curious with Texas.
If you Texans dispute this research technique, let's do one more that show's it interpretative power:
Hockey Sex.
BTW, top country searching for sex was Pakistan. Go figure.
I'm taking credit for these and expect royalties.
Cyberia, n. ( second syllable stress) - barren, non-visited wasteland where deviant, noxious web sites are exiled to ( www.tonyrobbinsthong.org) and others are spawned (Ni Howdy).
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Business card Scan
Maybe the draft is a good idea
Inside the United States, "half or fewer of young men and women 18-24 can identify the states of New York or Ohio on a map [50 percent and 43 percent, respectively]," the study said.But would it be moral to send these young people to Iraq to die, when they don't know where that is either?
In the Middle East, 63 percent could not find Iraq or Saudi Arabia on a map, and 75 percent could not point out Iran or Israel. Forty-four percent couldn't find any one of those four countries.Better choice would be China:
On the positive side, the study noted, seven in 10 young Americans correctly located China on a map,In the interest of fairness, one of my employees showed me the superiority of the Taiwanese education system by looking for the Panama Canal around Hudson Bay on a globe. Perhaps he was thinking of the Northwest Passage?
History of Victorian Robots
Note to Canadian readers: I know you believe anything on the internet, up to and including 9/11 hoaxes, and that's your God- no, Queen-given right I guess, but really, really, I think it's just a joke. Yeah, I see they have photographs in the articles, but can't those be faked now? I'm not sure if Adobe has had time to translate their Photoshop software into Quebecois yet, but trust me, the technology is there. It's just not sold in Canadian stores yet.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Chokeback Yankees?
Chokeback Yankees . Sorry BigEl.
My Fellow Right-Wing Nutjobs:
Sauntering around the Internet yesterday I saw several posters who were Aghast! Yes! Aghast! that the Texas Rangers wore a one-time-only special jersey that had Los Rangers in place of the normal Rangers.
- " I'm not watching another game."
- "Major league baseball (and all professional sports) have become part of the state sponsored "bread and circuses" package that sap our national strength and distract us from taking steps necessary to save our civilization."
- " What an insult to the Texas Rangers."
Well, I must tell you, my usual comrades-in-thought-control-arms, that I am Nonplussed! Yes! Nonplussed! by your off-target, hyperbolic responses. While mistakenly trying to tether the jerseys to other political events, you ignored the Rangers hat-trick of Cs: Capitalism ( live viewing privileges were not free), Charity ( the jerseys were raffled off) and Cultural-ish-ness ( 3 letters of the alphabet were ingeniously re-arranged to form a word from another language!). Why, if you had your way, we would be one flag short of an amusement park and would wish us bodily harm every time we lisp an order for a cerveza.
Your time would be better spent on the true targets of this cultural influenza - the Irish and Chinese. Every year the Irish hold huge rallies celebrating their drunken, malignant demigod, the leprechaun - who only because of their well-known fear of water have yet to invade our shores. Also yearly, the Chinese incrementally attack the oh so scrutable round-eye with their fireworks and their animal totems. I urge haste. The leprechauns will surely overcome their aversion and I abhor becoming the lickspittle of them or some giant, cloth-covered, H.R. Pufnstuf doll dressed like Liberace. In the meantime, we in Texas will continue to listen toTejano, speak non-lisping, bad Spanish while we talk with our amigos over a cerveza.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
The world of baseball....How it changes!

I have to admit. A few years ago when Toronto changed their logo I was pretty up

The shirt on the left being the new logo.
The jersey on the right (worn by a hero) the old logo. I loved the logo. I loved the maple leaf. I loved the world series patch on the arm. Everything about the old jersey I loved. I used to be pretty bitter about it. If you see me out and about and we chat about baseball. I'll probably bring up the topic. I've had the conversation hundreds of times and most people I've chatted with felt the same way. I don't really know how it happened but it happened. I was pretty disappointed about going to Toronto to watch a game and only having the option of buying the new style of jersey or the new style of hat. The logo just doesn't work for me.

But my friends. All of that has changed. I'm not bitter anymore. Why you ask? Because of this jersey.
Is this for real? In Texas?
I was watching the Yankees - Rangers on Saturday morning and I couldn't believe my eyes. Does that shirt really read "Les Rangers?" I don't speak any Spanish, but I do speak and read French. Is this jersey not written in French?
Perhaps some of my Texan friends can explain it.
Thank you Texas, for ridding me of my anger.
I hope for the love of the game, this is a temporary logo. Maybe for some special "America forgives France" event I'm not aware of.
On a scale of one to cheesy, this takes the cake. Thank god I'm not a Rangers fan!
Which brings an interesting question to mind.
In all of sports, which is the best jersey or logo of all time?
Which is the worst jersey of all time?
I would have to go with the Eagles for the best.
I also think the traditional pin stripes in New York suits the team well. Although I'm not a big Leafs fan I like the jersey and the Jays logo of old is sweet as well.
I'll go with the Canucks jersey of the 80's for the worst followed closely by the France Rangers. The Raptors is pretty ridiculous for Toronto as well.
Je comprens que les Rangers est une equipe avec beaucoup de difficulte.
The Fat Red Neck has a point!
Down with the Oil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well , i spent last saturday, with three amigos and headed to detroit for game five against the Oilers.. Sadly, it didnt work out for my beloved wings, always next year I suppose... Here are some pics of the journey... Sorry havent posted in a while just dealing with some things!!!! Rye Guy cheers for the nice comments!!!!!!!!!
Friday, May 05, 2006
Friday Night Home Blogging
*Ta Ma De She Me Dong Hsi
Okay, now if you are into music, you need to try this extremely cool site:
PANDORA
Basically, you input a band or song you like and *poof* it finds other bands that you will probably like. An excellent way to find new music.
Bag Lady

Well, we (Texas Tech) can't beat them in basketball or football, but we can make them whine like little babies at the World Congress of Information Technology, hosted in Austin this first week of May. About 2,100 business, government and academic leaders from 80 countries were given tote bags distributed by the Lubbock Economic Development Alliance with the message "Lubbock Economic Development Alliance - Home of Texas Tech University" on a red and black canvass bag. The LEDA ponied up $15,000 for the sponsorship and the bags were rapidly snapped up. Time for Austin City Manager Toby Futrell to spring into action. Noting that Austin does not have a "strategic reserve" of tote bags, she quickly called in a counter-strike rush order of 2,000 "Austin: Live Music Capital of the World" bags. After all,
"It would be a travesty for people to leave Austin without Austin tote bags," Futrell said. "This silly little thing is one of the most representative pieces people carry back with them, and they are going to carry memories of our city
and a Lubbock tote bag? Nah."While Futrell distracted conference-goers with Mr. Thunder, she whipped out his buddy, Mr. Lightning - a bold plan to have participants surrender the Lubbock tote bags for the Austin ones - that is, until her Crystal of Tranquility turned black and started sucking life from Chakras 4 through 6, and rescinded the order. With power yet to be fully restored to Chakras 4 (compassion), 5 (language) and 6 (seeing the big picture) she said whoever thought it a good idea to let Lubbock hand out tote bags at a conference in Austin "should have to go spend a week in Lubbock." Crystal-less Gary Lawrence, CEO of the LEDA responded by saying that he will take an Austin tote back home to Lubbock. Participants will now be able to take home an Austin tote, but not from this event. The bags will arrive at noon on Friday - just as it closes down.
Farewell Party
Time: Satur - DAY
Place: FuBar
Notes: Please come and make sure Hannibal Jim takes that damn hat with him.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Flash Mob
I can't wait to see the faces of all the indigs when they see a bunch of drunk foreigners arrive at SoHo St.! To quote a recently viewed move, Fuck Yeah!
Go have a drink with Bob
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Watoto

Shin Min High school is located on the corner of Chung De rd and Jian Xing rd. You need to follow Jian Xing past Chung De and follow until you reach the second flashing light. Turn right at the flashing light. Keep driving until you see a Family Mart on your left hand side. Park. Go through the main gate. Follow the people to the auditorium.
I won't post my video until after Saturday night. I have a little bit of footage. What is the name of the hosting video site? Blip TV?
Tonight there were mostly Shin Min Night School students in attendence. So it probably wasn't the right evening to attend. I think most of the students enjoyed the show. They were surprisingly attentive, but there were still about a quarter of the students who weren't.
It's probably a good thing Jerry didn't attend as he in on the Shin Min Night School student hit list.
If you do have the time on Saturday night, I really encourage you to try to attend such an event.
Watoto Children's Choir
Saturday Night - 7:30 - Shin Min High School.
The kids are pumped!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Taiwan once again losing to China
Country %
China 14
Hong Kong 6
India 6
Indonesia 8
Japan 4
Malaysia 10
Singapore 11
Taiwan 5
Vietnam 7
Source: Durex Global Sex Survey 2005, results for Asian countries
Ganked from this blog.
Watoto Reminder
![]() Sunday last, my wife Petra, Jerry and I went to the Watoto concert at Wu Chuan Jr. High. It's hard to express properly for what reasons and how much I enjoyed it - the two being intertwined. I enjoyed it. Petra enjoyed it. Commander Cardy enjoyed it (How often have you seen him shaking his booty?). There are still opportunities to see them. While I have the schedule, I don't have the times. Maybe some - read PIMP - can help out. My wife suggests the Shin Ming date, Wednesday, May 3rd as the best because of the acoustics. Set a time and grab some friends and go. Admission is free, at least it has been so far and I suspect it will remain so. Buy a couple of t-shirts and a CD or DVD to help them out and stick around to talk to the kids. They are all wonderfully cute and polite. I saw more Taiwanese hugging that day than all of my years here combined. Considering most Taiwanese have never hugged their parents or children it was very impressive. Pictured above are the Commander and Bosco, a 12 year-old who would like to be a doctor when he grows up. |