Christmas 'Cue

8 pounds of beef chuck, only hours away from being served. This was my first attemp at barbecuing chuck. Brisket, yes. Ribs, yes. Chuck, nay. However, with a little help from Smoky and my custom-made barbecue grill, I was able to get it done within Smoky's time parameters, but not my wife's. She quickly recanted after chomping down on a mouth chock-ful of chuck. We were joined by Kevlar and Kaia, Jimbo and Rye. We all thanked God for the barbecue, Petra for the jalapeno corn bread and the Green Giant for the corn. While it's wonderfully edible without any finishing sauces - well, okay, one light coat - I did provide one at the table. It's a Smoky recipe, both very easy and superior to store-bought stuff. Almost anything is if you make it yourself and can still eat it. With regards to Smoky, here is the finishing sauce of his that I used.

Mid-South Finishing Sauce
1 cup ketchup
1/2 cup vinegar
4 Tbs. Worcestershire
1 cup water
1/2 cup butter
4 Tbs. brown sugar
1 Tbs. black pepper
1 Tbs. Tabasco
2 lemons, juice of
3 Tbs. yellow mustard
1 Tbs. salt

Mix and simmer 10-20 minutes

The only changes I made were to use apple cider vinegar and add some pure chipotle chile powder. Try it out and let me hear back. Remember, this is a finishing sauce and will burn unless applied at the tail end of cooking.

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Thinking of visiting Taiwan? Why not? After all Taiwan boasts some of the most creative minds in fashion and nouvelle fusion cuisine. The epitome of this renaissance resides in the heart of Taiwan itself, Taichung. And nowhere else is more representative than PJ's Cafe. Our longtime friend and holder of our tabs, PJ boldly experiments with new concepts and dishes. But we all know how some of these highfalutin prima donnas can be. At times, PJ is no different. He has a tendency to be a wee bit garrulous. We're talking bite-the-gun-and-pull-the-trigger verbosity. So we have prepared a list of words, phrases and topics to avoid, lest you want to void your life insurance policy.

NOT SAFE

cabins n painting (house) n Barney and/or the Flinstones n hitchhiking n backpackers

High School football n massage therapy n real estate n the Irish (not Notre Dame) n the KMT

the exchange rate n the smell in the bathroom n drug dealer Kevin n gangsters n UFOs

the 1st week in Taiwan n defending Taiwan n service n tipping

We have deemed the following SAFE - 3 sentences or less in reply

ice hockey n food safety procedures n suppliers' identities n sci-fi n Malawi n mullets